


Hang the Moon

by Hamliet



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Feudalism, Fluff, Kings & Queens, Knights - Freeform, M/M, Mystery, Redemption, Romance, Servants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-03-10 18:47:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 90,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13507608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hamliet/pseuds/Hamliet
Summary: The Washuus' peaceful reign over the kingdom came to an end overnight. Knights accused of helping plot their downfall are banished. Mourning his benefactor, Kaneki plotted with a crew of servants and knights to overthrow their new ruler--but Furuta Nimura was always one step ahead.





	1. Prologue: Misfortune

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Updates will be Sundays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Possibly Mondays.

No one respectable ventured to this part of the city. His clothing, carefully torn and deliberately splashed just so with filth, and his horse, drenched in thick slops of mud, concealed his identity. But as he rode through the broken cobblestones and rancid waste of the Aogiri district, he could only conclude it was all a waste of time and energy. The people in this area were too focused on scrubbing their clothes with lye, picking maggots out of their bread, and avoiding the plague to worry about a noble stranger.

He ventured down one of the narrow alleyways. Rotten fruit lay on the road, trampled by feet and baked by the sun. The smell still curdled the beef he'd eaten for dinner.

The sun dipped low in the sky, casting shadows along Aogiri. In the distance, an infant bawled.

He nudged the animal off the street, urging it towards the grove of trees where he'd been directed. Weeping willows rustled in the breeze. Branches knocked against each other. He dismounted his horse and tied the animal to a solid oak. The horse snorted, uneasy.

He turned and walked towards the grove. His boots sank in the mud. He yanked them free, the earth issuing a squelch in protest. He pushed his way past a pine, dead needles falling over his hair.

And there she was, sitting under the apple tree, legs crossed as if she considered herself among the holy people. A fire burned in front of her, stoked by a man with white hair and a red mask.

That man leapt to his feet at the sight of the intruder. His hand went to his belt, withdrawing a sword.

He waved his hand. "No need."

The man in the red mask simply aimed the sword. From behind him, more emerged. A tiny woman with salmon-hued hair. A sniveling man in white britches too fancy for him to own. A silent man in a dark cloak, and a boy with an all-too-familiar gleam in his eyes. The gleam of a bloodthirsty child.

"No need indeed," came her voice, husky. She rose, bandages covering her face. "We'll be quite safe."

He glanced at her.

The crowd dispersed, vanishing back into the trees. The man with the red mask stayed, gaze fixated on him.

"And why are you here?" she asked. Her hands wound up to her face, unwrapping. The bandages fell to the dirt, revealing a young woman with mint hair and a devious smile.

"I should think you would tell me," he replied, rubbing his gloved hands together. "Since rumors of a fortune-teller have reached even the palace."

"Have they?" She leaned back against the apple tree, reaching up to brush one of the lower-hanging red fruits.

"You know witchcraft and all enchanted items are banned," he said. "Punishable by death." Since it is said that witches can only exercise the power they were born with by draining the energy and life from victims.

"And they have been since before you or I were born," she finished. An owl hooted. "I know the law."

His ire snapped. "And if you know the law, then I'll arrest you for witchcraft. Or for lying to people and stealing their money, since I know you collect payment for it. One's punishable by death. The other, by a few lashes."

"You rode down here by yourself to arrest me?" She let out a cackle. "I'm flattered, really, I am."

The man in the red mask took a step forward. Clearly, he was not willing to let the witch go without a fight. Well, he was armed too.

"Are you telling fortunes or not?" he demanded.

She giggled now, plucking one of the apples and tossing it up in the air, catching it, and tossing it again. "Like my juggling? You're a true child at heart, aren't you, Furuta Nimura?"

"You'd have to have three to juggle," he retorted. "I'm not impressed."

"Now, see, you didn't have to tell me that. Your first sentence said it all." She bit into the apple, chewing. She swallowed. The firelight cast an orange glow over her. "And you came here tonight, rode all the way down here in that terrible disguise, just to hear your fortune, did you? Let's cease the threats; I'm hardly threatened." She smiled, baring her teeth.

"We haven't yet decided whether you're worth it," he replied. "Show me—an enchanted item. A mirror, a crystal ball, something. Prove it."

"I don't need to prove anything to you," she answered, sauntering towards him. She stopped when she was inches away. "I know who you are, Furuta Nimura, and why you came here tonight. Though, I suppose, you've had many names, haven't you?"

His heart pounded. It's real. You are a witch. "Takatsuki Sen is not your true name either, is it?"

She peered up in his eyes. Smoke from the fire tickled his nostrils. "You don't know my real name, but I know yours, Souta."

He scowled.

"Are you here to know your future, or your father's?" she asked, withdrawing and dropping back to the earth. She gestured for him to sit as well, right on the wet grass. "Maybe if you tell him his future, his glorious future, he will thank you, will he? Or he'll release you from that engagement to a woman you consider mean and stupid. Ami, isn't it?"

His lips curled. "She's fat and ugly." The man with the red mask stayed standing.

"Watch your words," warned the witch. "We both know who your father truly is."

He tensed.

"Must be difficult watching him treat the kingdom the same way he treats you," she continues. "Which is to say: like you're worthless. Sent to squire for that useless knight, Sir Kijima—"

Furuta leapt to his feet. He drew a blade from his waistband. Instantly, the man in the red mask put himself between him and the witch.

"Don't worry, Tatara," she said. "He won't harm me."

Tatara glanced over his shoulder, and then narrowed his eyes at Furuta. Clearly he was not convinced.

I won't? He gritted his teeth. "I came here to pay you, witch, not listen to your insults. You're making me reconsider turning you in and watching you swing on the end of a noose."

"No," she disagreed. "You came here in a desperate search for hope. You're a child grasping at the moon. You'll do anything to believe that there's a better future, but I don't even know if I should answer your petulant demands. Because you don't even know if you want a better future." She bit into the apple again.

"I will pay," he said, humiliation welling up from inside him, burning and scratching. "I brought gold—"

"I don't want your gold, Furuta Nimura." She took another bite, and another.

"Then what do you want?" he snarled. "Name it, and I'll—" You want me to beg, don't you? You want me to weaken myself for your own sadistic pleasure!

"All that's required to see your future is a bite of your flesh," said Takatsuki. She leaned forward, eyes glittering. The fire sparked, embers flying high. They dulled when they touched her hair, singeing it.

"A—bite?" His jaw dropped. Of all the things Furuta had considered, that was not one of them.

She threw her head back, laughing. Tatara dipped his head. "No. I was teasing. I already know where you're going, Furuta Nimura. And so do you."

"I don't!" he erupted, leaping to his feet. He kicked at the flaming wood. "That's why I'm here! Not so you could mock me—I'll hang you for this; I'll—"

"The future is often not so specific," she informed him. Tatara helped her to her feet.

He froze. Bile stung his tongue. "Excuse me?"

"If you want me to tell you 'you won't marry Ami' or 'your father will hug you in a thousand years during the winter, on a day when the flowers are blooming' you won't hear it." She tossed what remained of the apple—its core—into the fire.

"Then what can you tell me?" The people were buzzing about this witch. Saying she could tell the future. Saying she wasn't a fraud like the dozens of others the Washuu king did not even bother to imprison them, because they were simply trying to survive, and the common people were clinging to them in an attempt to mine enough hope to survive themselves. Pathetic.

But her… the streets were alive with whispers of her.

"I can tell you," she said, coming closer. "Hush, child."

He bristled. He could tell she enjoyed insulting him.

Her hand reached up, nails scraping his cheek as she pulled his face down. She peered into his eyes. "The thing you love most," she said. "It will vanish soon. And then you will have to defeat a great—an ancient—enemy if you ever hope to have what you love again."

"That's it?" he demanded.

She released his jaw. "That's enough. That's all you need."

"All I need?" he asked, in disgust. "Need for what? I wasted all this time for a vague—"

"I treated you no differently than I've treated all the peasants who come to me," she responded, leaning her cheek against the tree bark.

"Peasants?" Usually they don't refer to each other that way. He frowned. "Who are you?"

"I think it's time for you to go," she said, crouching by the fire to warm her small palms. "It doesn't matter where we're from or whom we're born as, despite what the aristocracy will tell you. All that matters is where we go. And you of all people should understand that."

She truly knows. "You watch your mouth," he warns. He glowered, stepping back. Tatara aimed the sword again. "You know, I was expecting someone a lot more interesting."

"Oh?" she asked. A frog croaked. "What were you expecting? Me to name your fate, something you cannot avoid no matter what you suffer? I'm afraid I'd rather give people some hints to learn about themselves rather than outright predictions that trap them."

"I heard you had one red eye and one green," he said. "I heard you predicted a man would win his lady's heart. I heard you—"

"Tell me," she said, a smile playing with her lips. "Do you believe everything you hear?"


	2. I: House on the Sand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ui Koori hated weddings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

Ui Koori hated weddings. He sat with his eyes narrowed, his arms crossed, and no hint of a smile on his solemn face.

Kaneki Ken struggled not to relate. The organ music swelling, the scent of roses and lilies, the candles lit along the arched windows: they all should fill him with a sense of hope. But the candles flickered, and a shard of loneliness nicked him. After the wedding, Hide would return to the manor his family owned in the country, and Kaneki would be alone here again.

He was supposed to be betrothed soon though, to a girl Arima recommended. And Kaneki had hardly met her. But she was beautiful. From what Kaneki had heard, the couple wedding today hardly knew each other. Kaneki cracked a knuckle. He doubted anyone would want him were they to see him.

Nagachika Hideyoshi, a duke's son and Kaneki's friend who had traveled to the city for the sake of the wedding, elbowed Kaneki, whispering about how Ui looked as if the mere idea of love disgusted him. "Or, maybe he's worried about the jousting tournament. He'll be competing, right?"

Kaneki nodded. As a knight, Ui would certainly be competing. He was favored to win, in fact, since Arima Kishou had withdrawn. Arima, the marquis and knight Kaneki had been squiring for for the past three years, had won every royal joust for the past decade.

Soft violin music filled the church, rising past the stained glass windows to the vaulted ceilings. At the alter, a priest joined the hands of Prince Washuu Matsuri, the king's grandson, and Lady Iyo, the daughter of a count, now to be Princess Iyo. Kaneki wondered if they felt happy, excited to get to know each other, or if they felt trapped.

The prince kept his eyes downcast. Iyo's cheeks flushed as her husband leaned in to peck her on the lips. Kaneki glanced down the crimson-padded row he sat on. Arima's newest squires, Urie Kuki, Mutsuki Tooru, Shirazu Ginshi, and Yonebayashi Saiko sat in a line, Urie looking impressed—in other words more benevolent than Kaneki had seen him yet—Mutsuki beaming, Shirazu jealous, and Saiko—Saiko was snoring. Kaneki cringed.

Iyo's attendants lifted her heavy train as she and Matsuri proceeded out of the church. Next would be the tournament, and then the banquet. Kaneki longed for it to be over so that he could retreat to his chambers inside Arima's wing of the palace.

Kaneki leaned over and gestured to Shirazu. "Shirazu," he hissed.

The boy turned to him, eyes wide.

"Wake Saiko up, will you?" he requested.

Hide snickered. Kaneki glowered at his friend. They may have grown up together, Hide's manor next door to Kaneki's aunt's manor, but Hide was always brave. Not like him. When his aunt announced that she was sending Kaneki away to squire for Arima in the hopes that he might become a knight one day, he cried, because Kaneki never wanted to be a knight. But Hide told him he could do it. Hide told him he was brave. And Kaneki promised himself that when he was afraid, he would remember his sunshine-headed friend, then living hours away.

Shirazu elbowed Saiko in the ribs. She smacked her lips, turning away from him. Kaneki's face burned. Indigo and silver light from the stained glass window dribbled over her face.

Shirazu finally licked his finger and stuck it in her ear. She yelped. "Wake up."

"That's so common," Urie said in disgust.

"Well, she had to wake up," managed Mutsuki, wringing his vest.

"Don't argue," Kaneki said. Urie cast him a disgruntled scowl.

A hand landed on the shoulder of Kaneki's brocade jacket. He turned his face up to see Arima Kishou raising his eyebrows. "I see it's difficult to keep that one awake."

Kaneki gulped. "I think she may have been up late last night."

"Indeed." Arima didn't so much as glance at Saiko. "We always have to be vigilant, Ken."

"I know, sir," Kaneki whispered. And he did know. But Saiko, unlike Mutsuki, Shirazu, and Urie, and even Kaneki, was not an orphan. Her mother had simply drunk away the family's fortune and her name was all Saiko had left. He remembered the burning loneliness after he arrived at the sprawling palace where all the king's advisors lived, how it consumed him until Mado Akira offered to help train him. She was kinder than Arima.

Saiko must be lonely too, and he couldn't bring himself to force her to participate if she didn't want to.

"Especially lately," Arima added as they spilled out of the pews and into the aisle, joining the throngs of nobles headed to observe the joust.

Kaneki swallowed. Earlier that week, an anonymous scroll arrived in the clutches of a carrier pigeon. The note read out Arima's daily schedule, an anonymous threat. Since that day, they'd made efforts to alter their daily routine, but Kaneki worried.

The sun shone above, the sky pure azure. Sweat prickled at the back of Kaneki's neck.

"You excited for your own wedding?" Hide whispered in his ear.

"Hide!" Kaneki hissed. "It's not official yet." A knot formed in his stomach. It'd be another stone tying him here, cementing his place as a future knight.

Arima thought it was time he married, which struck Kaneki as odd, seeing as Arima had no interest in marriage himself. But he had no position from which to question it. Arima had simply called him into his chambers one day and asked him if he would like to get married someday. Kaneki had stammered a yes, and Arima had announced that there was an eligible lady.

"But when do I get to evaluate her, see if she's fit to marry my best friend?" Hide winked.

"She's here," Kaneki responded, twisting to look behind him at the mob of faces. Mutsuki caught his eye and frowned in concern. "Don't worry, Mutsuki, everyone's moving slowly. No risk of a crush," he assured the boy. "I presume we'll see her at the tournament, or at least at the banquet." He wasn't certain what would be worse: if she came over and spoke with him, or if she avoided him.

"The sooner the better," Hide proclaimed, adjusting his deep blue overcoat. Kaneki caught several ladies of the court glancing his friend's way.

They found their seats for the jousting contest. Kaneki sat alongside Arima and Hide and the four new squires. Supposedly three more squires would arrive over the next month. Kaneki's head swam just thinking about it. The sun beat down on his hair.

"Good afternoon," said a voice behind him. Kaneki turned to peer up. A handsome man with soft blue hair and cheekbones that would be every portrait artist's dream smiled down at him, a knight with lavender hair at his side.

"Good afternoon," Kaneki replied.

"Tsukiyama Shuu," he said. "My father, Tsukiyama Mirumo, and I have arrived in town for the wedding. We plan to stay at least a month." He tapped his chin. "I've heard quite a bit about you, Kaneki Ken."

"Me?" Kaneki blinked. Hide was chatting with Arima, the wards with each other. He had heard of Tsukiyama Mirumo, a duke and one of the wealthiest nobles in the entire kingdom, but not of his son.

"Indeed. Ever squire of Arima's achieves a reputation." Tsukiyama leaned his face close to Kaneki, sniffing. "You must be quite special for Arima to agree to take you on."

The knight beside him sighed. "Master Shuu, we're—"

A horn blew. Kaneki whirled around to face the royal box. Firstly, Prince Matsuri and Princess Iyo entered.

"Poor lambs," Tsukiyama's voice whispered in Kaneki's ear. "Forced to marry, like sacrifices. One's accepted it; the other's still fighting in his mind."

"Hm?" Kaneki gaped at Tsukiyama. He didn't want to hear his fears spoken aloud. "Iyo's a lovely woman—anyone would be happy to wed—" But he saw that look in Matsuri's eyes too, the loneliness.

"Not if you're into men and your bloodline requires you to continue the bloodline."

 _Oh_. "You can't—"

The horn blew again. The Crown Prince, Yoshitoki, entered the box next, sitting next to his son. And lastly, after another horn blast, King Tsuneyoshi entered. Kaneki joined the crowd of nobles in kneeling before him.

"Rise," said Tsuneyoshi, and the tournament began.

* * *

"How are you feeling?" asked Hirako Take.

"Well," said Ui Koori, adjusting his armor. Sweat slid down his spine. "It's an honor to fight for the glory of our king." The horse shifted beneath him, snorting. The Washuu's dove crest rose high on the banners above.

Atop a white horse, Amon Koutarou, one of the strongest knights and a former squire of Mado Kureo, adjusted himself on the saddle. On a dappled stallion, Kousuke Houji's former squire, Takizawa Seidou, prepared to charge. New knights, they were, knighted months ago. Ui and Hirako, Arima Kishou's first squires, had been knights for three years.

It wasn't long before Takizawa fell from his horse, landing on his shoulder. Ui winced.

"He's talented," commented Hirako. "You think Amon could win?"

"I think any of us could," replied Ui. He focused his gaze on the banners. The doves. The reason he fights, the reason he jousts. If he doesn't focus on them, he'll look into the crowd, and that would be the end for him, because he might see her face.

Hirako let out a snort. "Look at that."

A tiny figure—it must be Shinohara Yukinori's protégé—prepared to face off with Tanakamaru Mougan. Ui pressed his lips together. Supposedly it was a random draw assigning face-offs, but it seemed a tad unfair to have such a small boy even in the tournament, let alone facing off with a large, accomplished knight like Tanakamaru. Judging from the gasps in the crowd, they agreed.

Five minutes later, and Ui felt his own jaw drop when Suzuya unseated Tanakamaru, who hit the ground with a grunt. Suzuya then cackled like some kind of deranged idiot.

"Good luck," Hirako told Ui. Ui nodded, barely glancing at his friend as he rode out onto the list. Atop a black horse sat Kijima's former squire, Furuta Nimura. The lad about whom everyone said there was nothing special. At least it wouldn't be much of a challenge. Ui gritted his teeth.

The dove wavered in the wind.

Ui hoped she was watching.

The horses took off, charging at each other. Ui readied his lance. He'd named it Taruhi. One hit, and Furuta was on his ass in the dirt. Cheers rained down for him, but he didn't want them. Except for her cheers, and if he looked into the crowd and couldn't find her face, he'd panic. Ui bowed towards the king.

Hirako won his match against Kuramoto Itou, and then Ui readied himself for his next round. Thankfully, it was Amon Koutarou. A challenge, unlike that strange Suzuya. Blood filled Ui's mouth when he chomped down too hard on his tongue.

He had to win. For the king. For her. For the king.

They rode past each other on the first pass, Ui barely ducking Amon's lance. He felt it strike the edge of his arm, but he refused to flinch. He would not fall off this horse. He would win.

On the third pass, Ui thrust his lance out and felt it collide. Amon let out a groan as it slammed into his abdomen. He slid halfway out of his saddle, dragged for a few meters by his horse before the animal stopped. Smeared in mud, Amon rose, a look of shock on his face.

 _I won. I beat Amon Koutarou._ Ui allowed himself a small smile. Amon nodded at him. Amon was a respectable competitor, a good man.

That meant he would likely be facing Hirako, or so Ui thought until Suzuya sent Hirako flying into the dirt.

_How in the hell?_

Suzuya whooped again. Ui scowled. He would avenge Hirako, now.

"Win for me," Hirako wheezed as he staggered past Ui. Blood trickled from his lip.

"Are you all right?"

Hirako nodded. "Good luck. He's a little demon."

 _The third pass,_ Ui told himself. _Again, that's when I'll make my move._ Just like with Amon. He readied his horse.

Again they charged. And again, and on the second run, Ui spotted something red on Suzuya's arm.

_He's not wearing armor on his arm? Is he stupid?_

_Is that_ thread?

The lance hit him in the chest. The wind flew out of Ui's lungs. His stomach imploded. He flew backward, slamming into the ground. His horse whinnied, carrying on without him.

Ui blinked, staring up at stars exploding in a bright blue sky. They twinkled, and then faded, and he was left there. His lungs inhaled. His abdomen throbbed.

_I'm sitting on my ass._

_I lost._

He got to his knees, gulping in air. Shame built in his neck, forcing his head down.

 _Even if you lose, it's for your king,_ he reminded himself. He lifted his head and his body, getting to his feet and then bowing. _It's not a true loss, then_.

Suzuya cheered again. Ui's eyebrows pressed together. _How rude_. Still, he won, and Ui couldn't fault him for his excitement. Though he certainly faulted him for his inappropriate reaction.

"He's better than you'd think, isn't he?" Amon commented as they sat together at the banquet. Takizawa appeared to be taking his loss quite poorly, devouring a chicken leg and a hefty amount of pineapple.

"He is," Ui agreed, watching as Suzuya painted yogurt sauce on his lips in a sort of mustache. Suzuya turned to the tall, long-haired squire next to him and chortled.

"Koori!" cried a voice from behind him.

He dropped his fork. It splattered cranberry onto his shirt. _Oops_.

"You did so well! Suzuya was amazing, but I was rooting for you." Lady Ihei Hairu winked at him. Her soft teal dress with her pink hair and huge green eyes—she looked like a fairy.

"It's not appropriate to call me Koori here," Ui said flatly. He considered Lady Hairu a friend who was more than talented in swordsmanship herself, but it wasn't proper for her to address him without formality here. He'd never be able to live with himself if someone started a rumor. Lady Hairu was an orphan as well, taken in by the Kuroiwas, and a bit brainless at times even if she was the best sparring partner Ui ever had, and she knew how to steal melon bread from the kitchens, and how to make him laugh.

Hairu rolled her eyes. "Only you would complain at a compliment." She spotted Arima Kishou nearby, seated at a cherry-wood table next to Ken Kaneki. "Ooh! I wanted to meet his new squires; I need more friends. And Saiko's another girl who's learning swordsmanship!" She flitted off.

"Look who just walked in," whispered Takizawa, downing another goblet of wine. Fire flickered from the chandeliers above their heads. He nodded at the door.

"Mado Kureo," said Amon, face dissolving into a smile. Ui watched Amon. Everyone heard the story of how Amon was rescued from one of the last witches in the kingdom, a man who forced Amon to help him capture victims to drain their life from. Children, all of them. _Repulsive_. But Mado Kureo took a chance on Amon, and he's now one of the most just and strong knights in the kingdom. Ui admired him.

"Who's the girl next to him?" inquired Kuramoto, taking a bite of sausage.

"Mado Akira," stated Takizawa. "His daughter. Looking at her you'd think she's some delicate flower, but the girl is a demon with a sword."

The blond woman carried herself with confidence. Her eyes swept the room, landing on Takizawa. A scowl creased her lips.

"Am I sensing a history?" teased Kuramoto.

"Not hardly," retorted Takizawa, pouring himself more wine. "That girl's a monster."

Ui curled his lip. _There's a history there, isn't there?_ He watched as Hairu giggled next to Arima. The wine tasted sour in his mouth.

"You did well today, Ui," a voice interrupted.

Ui turned in his chair to see Furuta Nimura there. A bruise swelled on Furuta's cheek, under a mole. "So did you."

Furuta blinked. He nodded and scurried off like a child.

"He's an odd one," remarked Kuramoto.

"You're telling me," laughed Takizawa.

He just seemed nervous to Ui. Ui glanced at Hairu again. She was now chattering with Yonebayashi Saiko.

" _What are you doing?" he demanded two years earlier when he found the pink-haired woman swinging a sword in one of the palace's practice courtyards._

" _Training," she replied. "I want Arima to be proud of me. He recommended the Kuroiwas take me in, you know."_

_Ui snorted. "He never praises anyone."_

" _He should," she replied. "I've seen you. You're good."_

The wine stung his throat.

* * *

The food was delicious. Saiko helped herself to three helpings of potatoes roasted with garlic and rosemary. Kaneki watched the girl serving their table, dressed in a drab brown dress. Her sleek indigo hair covered one of her eyes.

"So?" Hide finally prompted. "Is that her?"

"Hm?" Kaneki turned to his friend.

"Your fiancée. Or soon to be betrothed." Hide nodded at the servant girl.

"Of course not!"

Hide's eyebrows rose. "Poor girl. That was awfully harsh, Kaneki." He waved his hand.

"Hide, stop!" Kaneki reached for his friend's arm. Urie's lip curled as the servant girl approached.

"What's your name?" Hide chirped.

She blinked, surprised. Kaneki wonders whether people often ask her her name. It must be hard otherwise, her as a nameless servant. "Kirishima Touka."

"Well, Touka," drawled Hide. "More wine, please."

She nodded and rushed to grab the pitcher. Kaneki glowered at his friend.

"What?" Hide asked. "She's cute. Kaneki, you should marry her."

"Hide!" Kaneki's face felt as if it was burning off. He shoved his wine goblet away from him as Touka came back to pour more.

"I'll take some too," Urie ordered.

Touka's eyes narrowed. She poured, but it overflowed. "Oh no!" Her gasp sounded insincere.

Urie cursed. Kaneki bit back a smile. Hide wiggled his eyebrows as if to say that this was a plus for the servant girl.

But he wouldn't be allowed to. It was rare for a person of noble birth to marry a person of common birth. You had to receive special permission from the king. And as Kaneki took note of Kuroiwa Takeomi beaming at one of the bakers hired from outside to create the cake for the wedding, he wondered if that might not happen sooner rather than later.

But Arima would disapprove. And Kaneki admired the man, hard though he was. He taught Kaneki so much. He gave him the future his aunt would never give him. Even if it was a future that made Kaneki cringe.

A flash of purple interrupted his musing. Kaneki stiffened. "That's her."

"Hm?" Hide turned towards him.

Kaneki nodded. The band struck up a merry tune as Kamishiro Rize glided across the banquet hall. The marble pillars, glossy and strong, were dull compared to the elegant way she moved, the way her hair hung long and loose despite the impropriety of leaving it down.

And to Kaneki's shock, she met his gaze. And smiled. And headed in his direction.

"You're going to marry _her?"_ hissed Hide. "Kaneki! She's beautiful!"

"Rumor has it she's out of control," Urie said. "Maybe there's a reason they want a quick marriage with someone respectable."

"Urie, that's rude," whispered Mutsuki.

"Don't insult her!" snarled Shirazu, jabbing his finger at Urie.

Rize paused by Kaneki's chair. "So."

Kaneki wishes he'd drunken less wine. No, more. "Hello."

Shirazu gaped at them. Urie looked disgusted. Mutsuki twisted his jacket. Saiko poured herself more wine.

"Care to take a walk in the garden?" Rize invited.

"Y-yes," Kaneki stammered. "Of course." He scrambled to his feet. Hide winked at him. Kaneki hoped Rize didn't notice. _Does she actually want to get to know me?_ Is it possible an arranged marriage to her wouldn't be a disaster?

The Sunlit Gardens were situated right outside of the banquet hall. Groves of trees stood like sentries arranged in patterns, several fountains bubbled, and birds chirped. One could get lost in them.

Rize took Kaneki's arm and his breath. "So," she said. "I thought it would be valuable to get away and get to know each other. But the noise in there was so deafening, and it's not safe to leave the palace. I heard Mado Kureo's been sent to deal with a bunch of beggars trying to sneak in for food."

"Oh." Kaneki frowned.

"I heard you have an elaborate library in Arima's wing." Rize beamed up at him.

"I—" Kaneki cleared his throat. "Um, yes! Yes, we do. It's got every book you can possibly dream of, and then some. Do you like to read?" They passed a towering pine tree. Stars glittered above them, and the full moon shone down, bathing the smooth stone path in silverlight.

"I love it," Rize confided. She smiled up at him. "It's the one thing I can always turn to. Reading. No matter what happens in my world."

Kaneki nodded. She steered him towards the right. The air felt a bit chilled without the sun. "Books were my escape too. After my father died, and then my mother."

"Mm." Rize studied a raven bathing itself in one of the sculpted fountains. A human crushed a ghoul, water spurting from the ghoul's ceramic skull.

 _There_ is _hope_. "You should come visit," Kaneki invited. "Tour the library."

"I'd like that," Rize said.

"When we get married," Kaneki said. "You can read them all, and—we can read them all, and—"

"Book partners," Rize commented. The raven took flight overhead. A water droplet, cold, landed on Kaneki's scalp, seeping through his hair. "I like it. Of course, it won't be like a real marriage."

Kaneki frowned. "Pardon?"

"I don't intend to marry anyone," Rize said with a trill. "Just in name only. I suggested it to my guardian in the hopes of getting my freedom back."

 _So you don't want to try?_ "Oh," Kaneki said, voice small. It shouldn't hurt. It shouldn't. This as the first time he'd even spoken to her. And yet, a bruise presses into the back of his eyes.

"I knew you would be the type to agree," said Rize, digging her fingers into his arm.

Kaneki swallowed. He studied his boots, leather shining and new.

A twig snapped behind him.

"And now I'll go," Rize said cheerfully, releasing him. "Thank you, Kaneki. I'll visit your library in the next few days." She hurried towards the left, down a path that wound through a thick grove of trees.

 _Huh?_ "But—Rize—it's late, you can't leave!" Kaneki stuttered.

"I will do what I want!" Rize hollered over her shoulder. "That's the way it's going to be, Kaneki Ken—" She screamed.

And Kaneki tried to. But the scream wouldn't burst from his throat. His jaw clenched so tightly he couldn't pry it open even for air. His nostrils wouldn't cooperate. His legs moved backwards, and he wasn't moving them.

_What?_

Rize's scream was silenced. Her arms froze, mid-air. A dark figure emerged from the shadows.

And a laugh filled Kaneki's ears. He struggled to breathe, but there was no evidence he struggled at all. His skull felt like it would burst. His lungs begged. His throat screamed. The darkness encased the figure, encased Rize, encased him.

When he awoke, he heard voices drumming through his skull. The smell of moist dirt invaded his nostrils. Kaneki coughed.

"What the hell happened?" yelled a voice above him. Kaneki craned his neck up to see Arima. And Ui Koori. And Hirako Take.

"There's no sign of her, Sir," reported Amon Koutarou's voice.

"Kaneki!" Ui yanked him up by his shoulders. "What happened?"

He shook his head. _Rize's—gone?_ "Someone—laughed—I couldn't move my body—there was a darkness—" Or was that just him losing consciousness? He didn't know.

 _She said she only wanted to marry me to use me._ But he would never rat her out.

"Witchcraft," whispered Ui.

"That's a ridiculous claim," snapped Marude, one of the dukes.

"No," said Arima, surprising Kaneki. "It's not."


	3. II: Bleeding Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horror welled up inside Kaneki. "I never meant--"   
> "No," said Touka. "But it doesn't matter, does it? They're dead."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"You're certain you cannot recall who took her?" demanded Arima. "Did she mention anyone to you?" His brow creased. It wasn't normal for Arima to be this concerned. But then again, no one had heard of witches for a decade.

Kaneki shook his head, failure seeping into his bones. He rested on his four-poster bed, the sunrise glowing gentle and pink outside. "I couldn't see anything." But she _was_ meeting someone. Or so it seemed.

He couldn't rat her out. Kaneki traced the red quilt and swallowed.

"All the witches and warlocks were exterminated years ago," Hide cut in, leaning against the wall, covered in rich cheery wood panels. A fire crackled in the hearth, though Kaneki wasn't cold. He felt weak, useless, lying here like he had been seriously injured. _What kind of knight can't protect someone? I'm useless._

"So we are told," Arima answered, straightening. He worked his jaw as if genuinely fearful. He glanced at Hide. "Everyone is confined to their chambers for the day. Guards are on patrol."

"Urie won't like that," Kaneki commented.

"A shame." Arima turned on his heel and stalked out of the room. Hide let out his breath.

Kaneki shoved the covers off of him and marched into the sitting room. Saiko slouched on a plush sofa. Mutsuki curled up in the windowsill, staring outside with a book of haikus in his hand. Shirazu and Urie talked in harried whispers, both of them turning to Kaneki the moment he entered the room. Had they stayed up all night?

"Are they really considering this witchcraft?" Urie asked.

Kaneki nodded.

"Good grief." Shirazu shook his head, slumping onto the couch next to Saiko. "You're lucky you survived."

"My father helped exterminate the last witch in the kingdom," Urie stated. "It'd be far more likely you decided you didn't like the lady and suffocated her."

Hide's jaw dropped. Mutsuki leapt to his feet.

"You bastard!" Shirazu bellowed, foot shooting out to kick Urie in the abdomen. Urie tumbled onto the oriental carpet. "Apologize!"

Urie staggered to his feet. "You—"

"Stop!" cried Mutsuki, wringing his shirt. "Please!"

"I'm hungry," complained Saiko, lifting her head and plopping her chin down on the back of the sofa. "Will they bring us food? If we're confined to this room all day?"

As if Saiko really minded. She preferred to sleep from what Kaneki could tell. Still, his own stomach rumbled. All the feasting from the banquet hadn't lasted him nearly as long as it should have. "I'll go to the kitchens."

"You're not allowed to leave the tower," snapped Urie.

Kaneki glowered at the boy. He didn't understand why Urie was so determined to insult everyone around him. But no. Kaneki could not allow himself to feel any animosity toward a squire. He would not be like his aunt. He would be welcoming and kind, warm and strong, regardless of whether they deserved it or not. "Hide will stay here and guard you."

"Hooray!" exclaimed Saiko, clapping her hands together. Mutsuki shrunk back onto his window seat.

"You should get some sleep," Kaneki added, stifling a yawn. He grabbed his sword, the one he was still learning how to wield despite years of lessons, and strode into the hallway, barring the door behind him. Silence sat heavy in the hallways, long and dimly lit by torches. Kaneki wound his way towards the spiral staircase and descending his tower in Arima's wing of the castle. He passed a window and gazed out at the parapets and towers rising for kilometers. The palace was almost the size of the Aogiri district itself. All of the king's advisors lived here.

The kitchen was located in the bowels of the castle, but still above the dungeons, where Kaneki had never ventured and never planned to. He descended lower, brow wrinkling. _Am I going the right way?_

 _Dammit_.

Kaneki whirled. He couldn't remember whether to turn right or left. He chose left, and then came to another fork. _Oh no._

 _How am I so pathetic as to get lost in my own home?_ Arima would be disappointed. Akira would roll her eyes. Kaneki gripped his sword so tightly the hilt dug into his palm.

 _There!_ Up ahead. Kaneki spotted soft light. He raced up a flight of stairs and stopped. An arched window cut into a rounded stone wall looked out onto the entry courtyard. He was close after all. This _was_ the right way.

A small girl stood there, a covered basket in her hands. Kaneki squinted, wondering what she was staring at.

In the distance, above the gates, stood two heads on spikes. Crimson lay splattered below them. A gasp emerged from his lips.

The girl turned. _The servant!_ From the night before. Kirishima Touka. Kaneki smiled at her. "Good morning—could you show me—"

Her eyes narrowed. She turned and marched away from him.

 _Huh?_ Kaneki chased after her. "I'm trying to find the kitchen—this place is so large—"

She turned to glare at him. "You can consider eating after seeing the heads of two people on spikes?"

Kaneki's jaw dropped. "I—I don't even know who they were."

"They were beggars," said Touka, stepping closer to him. Her chest rose and fell as she clenched her fists around the basket's handle. Her knuckles whitened. "Ryouko. Asaki. A married couple who fell on hard times. They merely wanted to provide for their daughter, and because _you_ had to start rumors of witchcraft, and because that strumpet had to disappear, and because this kingdom doesn't give a damn about people who don't have noble blood, the knight with the crazed eyes cut off their heads."

 _I—what?_ Horror welled up inside of Kaneki. "I never meant—" _Because of me? Is it truly because of me?_ Why would Mado Kureo be so bloodthirsty?

"No," said Touka. "But it doesn't matter, does it? They're dead."

Kaneki managed to swallow. It hurt. "You—they were friends of yours?"

"I cannot admit that, can I? I don't want my head on a spike." She snorted. "Yes. I fed Ryouko, and her daughter Hinami. Hinami's like my little sister." Her voice wavered.

 _You're brave._ She didn't care what he did to her. "Touka—I'm so sorry, I never imagined—it's not my fault—let me find her daughter, I can help her. I'll get Arima to—"

"My mother was executed for a similar reason when I was just a child," said Touka. "By Arima. No thank you." She stormed off again.

 _That's information you just spill out?_ "Wait!" Kaneki called, chasing after her, feet pounding the stone. She couldn't be serious. He ducked down a dank staircase. Arima would never—

"Touka, are you harassing someone again?" came a jovial voice.

Touka froze. Kaneki did likewise. A man with a bulbous nose emerged and beamed. His eyes then bulged. "Lord Kaneki!"

"I—" Kaneki began.

"Pardon, please," said Koma, bowing and then shuffling in front of Touka. "She means well—she's just grieving; please don't—"

 _Why does everyone assume I'm bloodthirsty?_ Kaneki wracked his mind, trying to come up with a reason they might think that of him. He couldn't. Then again, he also couldn't come up with a reason they might not think that of him, either. "I'm terribly sorry for what happened to Ryouko and Asaki. I was looking for the kitchen—"

Touka snorted.

"Well," says the servant. "You found it. I'm Koma Enji." He ushered Kaneki and Touka into the dark kitchen, lit by torches. Fires burned in several hearths, and the smell of baking bread and roasting meat set Kaneki's stomach grumbling. A woman with long dark hair bowed to him, and an older man cast Touka a frown.

"Good morning," Kaneki began again. "I wanted to ask for some food to take up to my wards."

"Of course," said the old man. Touka turned and marched out of the room. Guilt chewed at Kaneki like rats. "Irimi, please get some bread, cheese, and milk. Some oranges too. I'm Yoshimura Kuzen."

Kaneki nodded at him. "Did you know Ryouko and Asaki too?"

Yoshimura sighed. "Ah. Touka mentioned them, didn't she?"

Kaneki nodded again. A stew bubbled over on the nearest fireplace. Koma rushed to stir the pot.

"They were not involved in witchcraft," stated Yoshimura.

"All the witches are dead," Kaneki said. "Except—last night—when I was in the Sunlit Garden—"

"Are they?" called Koma.

"Hush, you," snapped Irimi, piling bread into a basket.

"But Irimi, I heard the rumors and I know you have too. There's a fortune teller in Aogiri who's the real thing."

Yoshimura cut up a few blocks of cheese. "Rumors are not proof, Koma."

"I am sorry," Kaneki said. "If you find out where their daughter is, I'd be happy to give her some gold. I'm sure she might need it. She shouldn't have to beg."

Yoshimura smiled. "That's kind of you."

Kaneki nodded. Irimi handed him the basket. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Kaneki," said Yoshimura. "Feel free to visit."

Kaneki bowed his head back to Yoshimura. He slipped out into the hallway. The sound of sobs met his ears. Kaneki bit his lip. He should just rush back. Arima would not be happy he was out of his room, and that Touka wouldn't want to see him either.

The sobbing broke, messy. Kaneki cursed and turned, hurrying down the staircase further into the depths of the castle. Damp air closed in around him. He spotted a row of small brown doors—the kitchen staff's. He knocked.

The door cracked open. Touka glowered at him.

But her eyes were not red. Her face was not blotchy. "What do you want?"

"I—heard crying—" he stammered.

"Who's there, Touka?" called a sweet voice.

Touka swore. She backed up, releasing the door. A small bed the size of a cot was crammed against a wall, covered in a fraying woolen blanket. A small window, too high to be dusted and therefore covered in grime, rested above her, and a wardrobe pressed against the bed comprised the entire room.

A tiny girl with brown hair huddled on Touka's bed, sobbing, her yellow dress sodden. She looked up at Kaneki, mouth open as she gasped, eyes red and streaming.

Touka grabbed him by the bicep and dragged him inside, slamming it shut behind her.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers. "I'm so sorry."

"They're looking for her," Touka said. "She's never been on her own."

Hinami rocked back and forth. "I never did anything like that—I swear—I should have done something—they're dead because of me—"

"It is _not_ because of you," Touka vowed, dropping next to Hinami. "Those knights—they're cowards; they care more about their own reputations as slayers of evil than they do about the truth."

Kaneki gulped, her words simmering in his belly. "If there's anything I can do—"

Touka's gaze darkened. "Can you punish them?"

 _If I don't, will you?_ He could hardly breathe.

"I don't—care," sobbed Hinami. "I'm just—so sad—I want them _back_ and nothing can bring them back."

"Where is she going to go?" Kaneki wondered aloud.

"She's staying here," Touka declared, reaching for the small wooden shelf above her bed. Her fist curls around something silver and glinting. "And if anyone tries to come for her, I'll do exactly to them what they did to Ryouko and Asaki."

Kaneki flinched. Hinami's shoulders shook.

"Will you now?" crooned a voice. The door flew open again, and Sir Kureo leered at them, blood staining his clothes. Amon Koutarou hung back, next to Takizawa Seidou. Mado froze when he saw Kaneki. "Get away from him!"

Touka leaped to her feet, the knife trembling in her hand.

"Stop!" shrieked Kaneki, jumping in front of both her and Hinami. _So what if I die? It might even be a relief._

"Move aside!" Mado screamed at him.

"You're not hurting her!" Touka screamed back. Hinami shrunk.

"So you _were_ involved, you little—"

"Hinami had nothing to do with it!" Kaneki cried out. "She's a child!" _I can't let someone else die because I took a walk with Rize—_

"I'm seventeen," said Hinami.

"Is she in here?" shouted a voice. Behind the guards, Kaneki noticed Shinohara Yukinori and Suzuya Juuzou. Shinohara's jaw dropped when he took in Mado's sword dangerously close to Kaneki's neck, and Hinami and Touka behind him.

"Hinami's innocent," Kaneki insisted again.

"You don't know that," Amon told him.

"I do know that," Kaneki repeated. Suzuya's eyes glittered.

 _"How?"_ questioned Shinohara. Seidou scowled, his sword still in his hand.

"I—know it." Kaneki swallowed. _I have no proof._ "She's a child."

Amon bit his lip.

"What is going on?" demanded another voice. Kaneki shuddered. _Arima._ _Will you hate me for this? Are you already regretting choosing me_?

 _I don't want you to regret it._ Kaneki straightened as the guards all stood aside. Arima squeezed his way into the tiny room. He didn't look particularly friendly as he scowled at Hinami and Touka.

"The daughter of the beggars is hiding here," Mado told him. "The ones we think might be part of the witch—"

"Do you have evidence?" snapped Touka.

"Bite your tongue; you're in the presence of betters!"

Touka's eyes flashed. "I—"

"It's a fair question," Kaneki interjected, heart pounding. _Arima, please don't let them take Hinami away._ " _Do_ you have evidence?"

"Put the knife down," Arima ordered Touka.

She hesitated, her hand shaking. Kaneki cast her a desperate glance. "Please."

She dropped the knife onto the floor with a clatter, wrapping her arms around herself.

"We haven't yet heard from the lady herself," Arima commented. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Touka gulped. "Hinami—"

She looked up at him, her face stained with tears. "I didn't—they wouldn't—no one should hurt—no one should hurt anyone." She covered her face and cried. Touka inched closer to her.

"I see no threat from her," Arima remarked, shadows obscuring his face.

"Wouldn't it be better to be safer rather than sorry?" Mado snarled. "All our lives are at stake."

"Not from her."

"She's too dangerous to keep in the palace," Mado insisted. "Where will she go?"

Arima leaned back against the wall. "I'm sure there is a role for her here."

"You can't do that," objected Mado. Amon frowned.

"What do you think, Kaneki?" Arima asked him.

 _Me?_ Kaneki swallowed. "Whatever Hinami's parents did or didn't do, it shouldn't reflect on her."

"And what about her?" Mado demanded, finally lowering his sword. He jerked his head towards Touka. "She—"

"Was trying to protect her friend—" Kaneki began.

"And harbored a—"

"Well, I was in here, so not exactly—"

"I suggest she be interrogated— _gently_ ," Arima said. "Both of them. Shinohara, Suzuya,, I suggest you to conduct the interrogations. And then they be released, and we post an extra guard in the kitchen from now on." He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes as if they're aching. "That's it for this."

Kaneki glanced back at Touka and Hinami. Hinami wiped her eyes and nodded at him. Touka didn't smile, but she met his gaze.

As they head up the stairs, Kaneki flanked by his companions, he focused on Arima, leading the way. _Are you disappointed in me? Are you proud of me? Which is it?_

* * *

"He's got a bleeding heart," proclaimed Tsukiyama Shuu, falling backwards onto the chaise lounge in the Tsukiyamas' guest manor. "Could he be more of a knight on a white horse?"

"He's not a knight yet, and he doesn't ride a white horse," replied Kanae von Rosewald, staring out the window at the guards searching the palace. If Kamishiro Rize truly was stolen away by a witch, she might very well be dead by now, drained of her life.

Hori Chie, one of the servants, let out a snort. "He does seem like an interesting person."

"Indeed," Shuu said, sitting up. He brushed his silken blue hair back from his forehead. "I bet he feels simply terrible over what happened to his betrothed."

Kanae felt horrible about it too. But because now Kaneki was available again. And unlike, say, Washuu Matsuri, Tsukiyama Shuu could marry whomever he pleased because he didn't need to procreate.

"We should catch whoever it was," mused Shuu, rubbing his chin.

"And how would we do that?" scoffed Chie. She rose and pranced towards the window. Kanae turned away, towards the vase of roses blooming on the mahogany desk. She ran her finger over the rose, finger pricking the thorn. But Kanae knew not to intake her breathe suddenly, not to flinch. She dabbed the droplet of blood on the hilt of her sword.

"I would think you of all people would know," Shuu replied, leaning forward. "Don't you notice everything, mouse? Who's been suspiciously lurking about the palace lately?"

"That guard," Chie responded, hoisting herself onto the windowsill. "The one with the cowlick—Takizawa Seidou. And Nishio Nishiki, the shopkeeper's brother. The shopkeeper died a few months ago, and I think he's seeing one of the palace nurses."

Kanae scowled. "None of them sound like witches." She couldn't stand Chie encouraging Shuu's fantasies. Especially not when she'd known of the witch's return long before the palace. The doctors said there was no other explanation for Shuu wasting away over the winter, even at their summer palace on the shimmering lake. And Kanae, she cried every night, pricked her finger on a dozen roses, promised God her own life if someone would just save Shuu.

" _A slow acting witch," the doctor, Kanou, brought from the palace himself, warned them. "Witches can drain their victim's life all at once for extreme bouts of power, or slowly. Some even allow them time to rejuvenate before they drain them again."_

" _How?" Kanae had demanded. Because there was nothing he would not do for Shuu._

" _If I knew," Kanou responded. "I would be a witch."_

And little by little, Shuu recovered. And then they came here, back to the capital, only to run into more witchcraft. Kanou had said that kidnapping a person likely meant the witch intended to kill them instantly.

"Even if he isn't," mused Shuu, tapping his chin. "He might know something. About how the witch got in."

"You don't have to be a hero," Kanae said. _Don't risk yourself. You're worth more than that. I just got you back._

She clenched her fists. The thorn prick throbbed.

"I just want him to notice me," Shuu declared, rising and striding past the piano. Kanae could only stare, knowing exactly how he felt. "Hori, ready my horse. Kanae, come with me."

"Where are you off to?" demanded Matsumae, Shuu's governess and a better swordsman than half the knights in the kingdom. She taught Kanae far more than Mirumo did, and she knew Kanae's secret from the moment she found a twelve-year-old Kanae frantically scrubbing blood from her britches during the middle of the knight.

" _Why not tell him?" Matsumae suggested when Kanae was fifteen, when cramps clamped down on Kanae's abdomen and she couldn't force herself to keep fighting._

_Crumpled on the ground, sweat ran down Kanae's neck. The sun blazed overhead, and the smell of the clean lake air hardly proved a relief. She shook her head. "I can't." She couldn't disappoint the dead, or the living. She didn't want Shuu to know her as a liar._

" _Well then," said Matsumae, training her blade on Kanae's throat. "Very well. But if you want to truly become a knight and protect Shuu, then you're going to have to learn to fight through the pain. I can tell you from experience that it doesn't often improve." She nudged the blade closer. Another millimeter, and it would have pricked Kanae's neck._

_Kanae steeled her breath. She gripped her sword, and ducked, spinning on her heel to knock Matsumae's blade out of her hand._

"To see Lord Kaneki," Shuu answered, granting Matsumae one of his smiles, the one that gives Kanae a reason to smile herself. "It's been a week since the incident."

Matsumae's gaze landed on Kanae. "Take care of him."

Of course. Kanae nodded. Matsumae loved Shuu like he was her own son. She essentially raised him, after all.

"It's nice to see the busyness of the city," Shuu commented as they rode towards the palace. Vendors lined the streets, selling roasted nuts, cakes, and fruits. "I missed it."

"I did too," Kanae lied. The energy set her ill at ease, especially as they drew near to the palace. Two heads, the beggars from what Kanae heard, rotted in the sun, eyes gone to the birds by now, skin flapping off the skulls. She lowered her gaze, remembering two other heads.

" _I told your mother it was a mistake to marry a foreigner," Mirumo told her once. "We were childhood friends."_

But her mother left to marry her father, and she wouldn't leave him. Not even when a revolution upturned the country next to the one she lived in now, sending peasants and nobles alike scrambling for shelter from the blood raining down.

They all died for her. Father to save Mother, Arunolt, Nathanael, her. Mother to save her three children. Arunolt and Nathanael, finally, to smuggle her across the border, where she sold the last pieces of the von Rosewald family heirlooms to barter passage to the Tsukiyamas.

Her mother should have listened to Mirumo, even if it meant Kanae would never have been born. The others at the Tsukiyama household certainly thought so. Except for Shuu. He told her to live with her head held high, that she didn't need to fear getting it cut off.

"Lord Tsukiyama," Kaneki said in surprise when he and Kanae arrived at his chambers. "To what do I owe your visit?"

"I can't believe he's gotten engaged to a nobody baker!" complained a loud voice. Kanae frowned as a boy with purple hair marched in. He ignored the guests, storming to his room. A boy with yellow hair nodded at them.

"We have something to tell you," said Tsukiyama, clasping his hands together. "That may be related to how the witch got to Lady Rize."

Kaneki's eyes widened. Kanae felt ugly next to him. Her gaze swept the room, taking note of the books stacked high above the hearth. Shuu loved to read as well. He taught her.

Shuu detailed the story of the shopkeeper's brother sneaking in to visit his nurse lady love.

"Well then," said Kaneki. "There's only one thing to do."

Kanae cocked her head.

"I'll have them give him a job," Kaneki declared. "The kitchens are short-staffed; I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Kanae bit her lip. There had to be a catch, some hidden motivation. No one did anything out of altruism. She knew this well.

But Shuu's eyes shone as if he just confirmed that Kaneki's a knight in shining armor.

He had to be a liar, Kanae told herself. Because everyone was a liar. She wore armor to conceal her lie.

Or, maybe she truly was among the worst people on this planet, and she simply couldn't accept that she didn't deserve to be loved by someone like Shuu.


	4. III: Elusive Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't lecture me about propriety, Amon Koutarou. My father raised me to be a better swordsman than you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

"Again." Urie held his sword up to the sunlight, the metal glinting. Saiko slouched in the corner, her head leaning back against the wall of the practice courtyard. Stone walls rose high above them, blocking out the view of the mountains in the distance. Beyond the mountains lay another kingdom, one that was overthrown when Urie was just a child. He remembered his father, the esteemed knight Urie Mikito, telling him about it.

" _That couldn't happen here, could it?" Urie wondered._

_"It could happen anywhere, Kuki," his father told him, patting him on the head._

"No can do," Shirazu panted on his knees in front of Urie. He stabbed his sword into the grass. "You've won three times. I think that's good enough."

 _But I need to get better._  Urie bit his lip. Sweat plastered his purple hair to his forehead.  _You weakling._

"Give it a go with Mutsuki, why don't you?" Shirazu suggested, waving his hand. Their green-haired, quiet companion headed over at the mention of his name, sword in his hand. "Would we actually be expected to use this training, ever?" Shirazu wondered. "Except for entertainment."

"Better to be prepared than not," Urie grunted. He tossed his sword in the air and caught it. "Want to try, Mutsuki?"

Mutsuki nodded, though he looked as if he was rapidly chewing the inside of his cheek.  _Well, if you wanted to refuse, that was your chance._  Urie still hoped Mutsuki would put up a decent fight. It'd be great if Mutsuki could surprise him, go from quiet and shy to a good fighter. And Urie could use the practice with someone who's actually a decent match. Kaneki must be, or so Urie assumed if Arima's essentially delegated training to him, though Kaneki seemed to be avoiding actually fencing with any of them. Saiko was no better. In fact, she was downright lazy.

"Good luck, Mutsuki. He's tough, but you can take him." Shirazu helped Mutsuki put on the gauntlet to protect his hand.

Urie scowled. Mutsuki smiled, gulping, and turned to face Urie.

"En garde," Shirazu directed.

Mutsuki was holding the sword wrong—his hands should be crossed for that position. Urie parried first, and it took him no time at all to send Mutsuki's sword flying across the courtyard.

"Have you ever fenced before in your life?" Urie demanded, wiping sweat from his brow.

Mutsuki looked up at him, eyes huge. "Of course. Just—wasn't thinking properly."

 _Why did they choose you for a squire, again?_  Urie sighed. "Again?"

Mutsuki nodded, scrambling to pick up his sword. This time, at least, he positioned himself correctly, sword clashing against Urie's. But it was clear within seconds that he was mostly using defensive moves and he couldn't think far enough ahead to predict and subvert Urie's moves.

 _Let's see how much you can handle._  Urie swung again. The sword ripped from Mutsuki's hands. Mutsuki cried out, hands flying up to protect his face. He stumbled back and tripped, falling onto his ass.

 _Seriously?_  "I do have enough control of my blade to stop it before it cuts off your nose," Urie informed him. "Whoever taught you fencing didn't know what they were doing."

"It's okay though," Shirazu interrupted. "Kaneki says he'll get us lessons."

"Like he's going to do that," Urie said with a snort, tossing his sword into the soil. Mutsuki pried himself off the grass, face flushed. His head hung in shame.

"What do you mean?" Shirazu questioned.

"I mean, in case you haven't noticed, we may be Arima's squires, supposedly training to be knights, but neither Arima nor Kaneki give a damn about spending any time with us." Urie rolled his eyes.

"He's got a lot to handle," Mutsuki said quietly, wincing as he shakes out his wrist.

 _Did I hurt you?_  Urie squinted. The sunlight reflected off Mutsuki's gauntlet, blinding him. "Next time try to anticipate what I do."

"I think I've had it for today," Mutsuki managed.

"Who  _did_  teach you?" Shirazu inquired.

"Am I that bad?"

"I mean, you're better than Saiko," Urie said.

Mutsuki's brow knotted together. "I—didn't have a teacher. I taught myself."

 _Shit_. That explained a lot.

"Taught yourself, or never tried before?" Shirazu asked, leaning on his blade.

"I did try before. Lots," Mutsuki insisted, gripping his tunic.

"Well, we can help you," Shirazu declards. "And we'll bring it up with Kaneki again. Right, Urie?"

"Sure." Urie didn't really care. Mutsuki's too old to get to the point where he'd be any good for Urie to practice with, but an instructor on the other hand—Urie's never fought an instructor before. When he first heard that Arima had agreed to take him on as a squire, his heart pounded with excitement, and yet he had barely spoken to Arima. The man made it clear he was delegating responsibilities to Kaneki, his soon-to-be former squire, due to become a knight himself soon enough, and yet Kaneki barely looked in their direction. Especially since Lady Rize disappeared, slaughtered by a witch. Supposedly. For some reason everyone seemed to believe that everyone in the palace was at risk now.

Urie heard that Shinohara himself helped train Suzuya, which would explain the little man's rapid improvement. Supposedly Suzuya was found scrambling through trash heaps in Aogiri at the age of twelve, the son of a long-dead prostitute. He had no noble blood, and yet Shinohara saw potential. Urie only had to observe them at the wedding to see that Shinohara doted upon Suzuya like he was his own son. And Suzuya's prowess already had people whispering, some stupid bats murmuring witchcraft, most murmuring that it was reminiscent of Arima's skill at such a young age.

His father taught him to fence, in the small courtyard in their manor. "Good job, Kuki," he would say, ruffling Urie's hair as Urie stared up at him, at the Urie family crest on his cloak.

_Now I'm the only one left._

"Behold," Shirazu said, sweeping his arms back. Urie's gaze first landed on Saiko, now actually snoring against the wall with the sun soaking her blue pigtails, and then it found Kaneki striding into the courtyard, Takeomi Kuroiwa on his heels.

 _No_. Fury built in Urie, dark and bloated, straining his skin. He curled his fists. Why are you here, you son of a bastard? Why aren't you off celebrating your engagement to that nobody?

"Are you all right, Urie?" Mutsuki ventured.

Urie scowled.

"Kaneki and I just came from a meeting of the king and his advisors," Takeomi announced. "I was accompanying my father and Kaneki, Arima. And now I have to leave to visit Lady Yoriko. Have a good morning, Kaneki, Urie." He bowed and swept out.

 _Anyone you bow to can't be worth bowing to._  "Well, color me surprised," Urie said. "You usually appear to be more interested in your own time than your own kingdom."

Kaneki flinched. "I don't think you know me very well, Urie. Lady Rize was… to be my betrothed."

"All the things you've promised, you haven't followed through with," Urie shot back. "I know we're here to serve you, but isn't a knight supposed to serve his squires as well? You keep this up and you'll have no one by your side when you actually become a knight."

Shirazu gasped so loudly that Saiko actually jerked awake. She wiped at her lip as if to wipe drool away.

Kaneki gulped. "I'll speak to Suzuya today." A breeze blew through the courtyard, carrying the scent of coffee. It should be comforting. It set Urie's blood boiling.

"Suzuya?" asked Mutsuki.

"Shinohara suggested that him training others would be good," said Kaneki. "He's already got four new squires: Abara Hanbee, Nakarai Keijin, Tamaki Mizurou, and Mikage Miyuki. Suzuya is training them."

That did it. Two ravens flew overhead, cawing at one another. "As you should be training us?" Urie prompted.

"We have three new wards arriving soon," Kaneki replied, not rising to the bait. Of course. "Hsiao Ching-Li, another girl for Saiko. And Higemaru Touma from a prominent family in the lake regions, and Aura Shinsanpei, the nephew of Aura Kiyoko." One of the few female knights. Everyone in the kingdom knew her name.

Urie yanked his sword out of the dirt. "So now we'll get even less of your focus?"

"Urie, you're acting like a prick," stated Shirazu. "That isn't an appropriate way to talk to a our superior."

"If he wants my respect, he should earn it," Urie retorted. He narrowed his eyes at Kaneki. His heart pounded. For a moment, he saw Kuroiwa—and Takeomi—and then his father. But it was just Kaneki, this pathetic excuse of a knight. Not a knight yet. A squire.

"I'm sorry," Kaneki said quietly. "You're right."

"Urie," whispered Mutsuki, twisting his shirt again. "I think you—should apologize to Kaneki."

 _What?_  Urie gaped at Mutsuki. He looked as if he wanted to crawl under a rock rather than face Urie's glare.

Urie turned on his heel and stalked back into the palace. The cool darkness of the hallways fell down to cover him.

If it weren't for Kuroiwa, he wouldn't even be here. He would still be at home—his father could have helped him practice fencing and would have helped Urie take a seat at the council someday, earn a higher noble title. But Kuroiwa left him to die, and Urie was now stuck here with all these other people with no families left to care for them, designated as decent only because they have a noble bloodline, which is the dumbest reason Urie can possibly think of for appointing someone to a role. Saiko's lazy, Mutsuki's a weakling, and Shirazu's not half-bad, but he views this role as an exercise in friendship, and it's not.

_This is how we determine where we'll go in the future. Whether we can be advisors to the king, or nobodies on pathetic manors that no one at court even remembers exists._

_I don't want to be forgotten._

* * *

"I don't buy it," Touka said, setting her basket of bread that she'd bought from Kosaka Yoriko on the counter. "It makes little to no sense. He's spying."

"And if he is, so what?" asked Yoshimura, turning back to the peppers and leeks he was chopping to add to dinner's stew.

"So, Hinami deserves to live a life free of that kind of suspicion," Touka snapped. He was in there right now. That knight. Or soon-to-be knight. Helping Hinami learn how to read. Well, in Touka's experience kindness always came at a price. And if she could protect Hinami from paying that kind of price she would. She'd do anything. All the things she was never able to do for her mother, for her father, for Hinami's parents.

Of course, she's hardly one to talk. With Ayato out there doing God-knows-what. If there really is a new witch in Aogiri, it wouldn't surprise her if he was following it. Yomo claimed that he hadn't heard any news of Ayato in weeks, though. It worried Touka, though she hated that it worried her.

Broken promises bothered her.

And she promised to protect Hinami. She promised herself. She promised Ryouko's dead head.

"He seems quite charming," said Irimi. "And lonely too, I believe. Considering he's just lost his betrothed."

Touka snorted. They all knew Rize was in no way interested in Kaneki. It was amazing what one learned when you crept about like mice between the walls, just out of the direct sight of the nobles. Touka could bring down so many marriages and deals if she wanted to.

"If he needs someone to threaten him, I could, though from my understanding he got me this job, so perhaps not," Nishiki said, wiping steam from his glasses.

"Kimi tell you that?" Touka asked. Lady Kimi was from a lesser noble house, but when Nishiki saved up enough money, he planned to marry her. He told Hinami this, and Touka wondered what it would be like, to have someone love you that much.

Nishiki shrugged.

She grabbed two apples and took them back to her room, heading down the corridor where all the kitchen servants stayed. "Hinami?" She pushed open her door.

"This means 'rain shower,'" Kaneki encouraged Hinami.

Touka gritted her teeth. There was just something wrong about a knight visiting her small room when she wasn't in there, even if Hinami was.

"Touka!" Hinami's eyes brightened when she entered. "I'm learning more words."

"Good," Touka said, handing her a red apple. She bit into the green one herself. She didn't offer Kaneki anything. He had plenty of food whenever he wanted. It was good to see Hinami bathed and in clean clothes every day, though. Yoshimura offered countless times to try and get Ryouko and Asaki jobs at the palace, but they always refused on the basis of charity.

They weren't trying to break in that night. They were trying to visit because Touka told them too.  _It's my fault._

Kaneki smiled at her. "You look well, Lady Touka."

Hinami giggled. Touka narrowed her eyes. "Are you mocking me? I'm no lady."

"But you are," he protested.

"No," Touka said. "I'm not. If you paid attention in court, I'm a servant. Servants are not human."

"That's not true."

"Just because you say it doesn't make it so, not in practice." Touka bit off another piece of apple. The sourness stung her tongue. "And speaking of practice, shouldn't you be working on your sword skills? They need improvement from what I've seen."

Kaneki's eyes widened. "How do you know that?"

"It's obvious from the way you carry yourself."

"Touka's quite good with swords," Hinami put in.

"Ah." Kaneki smiled. "Maybe you could help me sometime. I take private lessons with another lady."

"Maybe." Not.

"I'll see you later, Hinami, Touka." Kaneki smiled again as he slipped out.

Hinami turned to her. "He's kind to me. Like an older brother."

"I'm glad," Touka said, her back to Hinami. Because she didn't want Hinami to see her face and see what Touka knew: that kindness always came with a price.  _Why do you have to string Hinami along like this?_

* * *

"He's been visiting the kitchen every day since then, you know."

Amon choked on the mug of ale he'd been drinking. He wiped at his mouth, gaping up at the intruder.

Mado Akira stood there, arms crossed over her dress. Her red dress set off her hair, making it resemble spun gold. Takizawa scowled at her. She scowled back.

"We don't need your opinion," Takizawa retorted, shoving his own mug away from him. The men populating this tavern started to notice Akira. "Shinohara said there was nothing connecting Fueguchi Hinami or Kirishima Touka to witchcraft."

"And my father asked me to keep an eye on them." Akira dropped down onto one of the stools. The bartender looked as if his eyes were about to bug out of his skull. "Stop staring, or I'll shove a sword through your sockets," she snapped.

"That isn't proper," Amon managed. Not that that had even stopped Akira from sparring with them, or taunting them with her superior intuition before.

She arched her eyebrows. "Don't lecture me about propriety, Amon Koutarou. My father raised me to be a better swordsman than you."

Takizawa gestured for another ale.

"My father doesn't like being wrong," said Akira. "And he seldom is." Pride tinged her voice.

Amon nodded. "That's true." Raucous laughter breaks out around them. The odor of sweat and the grime lining the wooden bar seemed fouler and dirtier than normal. He swallowed. He squired for Mado Kureo, the man who spoke up for him after he was treated as a pariah at first for helping the last warlock in the kingdom sacrifice victims.

Of all people, Amon knew the evil of what witches did. He couldn't imagine Lady Rize sharing that fate, though she probably already had.  _No more. Never again._  It was his ambition as much as it was Mado's. "We should speak with them," Amon said.

"Why?" demanded Takizawa, gulping more ale. "Because a wench says to?"

"Do you want me to kick your ass fencing again?" Akira asked bluntly. "Or has being away from Sir Houji improved you that much?" Takizawa and Amon were promoted to knighthood from being squires only a few months ago.

"Stop it, both of you," Amon complained, clutching his skull.

"All I'm saying," Akira said, smoothing her skirt. "Is that it's unlikely a witch, no matter his or her powers, could have simply apparated in and out of the Sunlit Garden. Someone would have had to have let them in."

"According to your father?" Takizawa retorted.

Akira fixed him with a glare. "Unless they are that powerful, in which case they could likely do it again, and I'd wonder why they took Lady Rize instead of someone with royal blood. Royal blood was used in a few spells back when witchcraft ran rampant."

Amon swallowed. "Are you saying the royal family might be at risk?" He thought of King Tsuneyoshi, Prince Yoshitoki, Prince Matsuri, and Princess Iyo. Though if it was blood that counted, Iyo would not be at risk.

Akira knotted her brows. "I'm saying it's a possibility, and the king won't listen to my father." She rose from the stool, nose wrinkling in disgust as she sidestepped a man who tried to trip her. "He might listen to you."

"Wait," Amon called out. "The fact that Kaneki's been frequenting the kitchen—you don't believe he's involved, do you?"

Akira lifted her shoulders. "It seems unlikely, but it does seem possible that someone could have put a spell on him."

Amon leaped to his feet. "Lady Akira, I'd like you to come along with us."

"Hm?" She frowned.

"Takizawa and I are going to talk with the kitchen staff," Amon declared. His heart pounded. He wouldn't let any more lives be lost to this ancient evil. He remembered the blood. He remembered stumbling across it late one night in an orphanage, remembered Donato's voice.  _"You aren't supposed to be in here."_

 _No,_  Amon told himself. You  _weren't supposed to be in here, Donato._  In the  _world_. Amon had spent the first twelve years of his life assuming he wasn't supposed to exist. An orphan from a noble family was still an orphan, and he was too young to become a squire just yet. And his parents weren't well-known or well-liked enough for another family to want to take him in.

In that way he related to Kaneki Ken. They were both orphans. But Kaneki did not have to atone for the things Amon had to atone for. At least Amon hoped he knew that.

"Why?" moaned Takizawa, but he followed. A man whistled at Akira. She grabbed a dagger from the folds of her dress and hurled it at him, missing his flesh and pinning his sleeve to the wall. Which apparently was her plan.

"See?" Takizawa mumbled.

A chill skipped down Amon's spine. His jaw hung open. He knew Mado Akira was good from occasionally sparring with her. He didn't know she was that good.

A butterfly took flight in his stomach.  _No_. He lost Lady Harima to the plague two years ago and he would not go through that again.

Thunderclouds rolled in overhead, dark and swollen, replacing dusk's violet with ominous gray. The wind whipped Akira's hair as the three of them rode back to the palace together. Surely rumors would spread, but Akira didn't seem as if she cared, and if her father told her to spy on Touka Amon presumed he didn't either. Besides, Mado trusted Amon. He didn't see Amon like a monster.

The kitchen was warm, welcoming. The smell of roasting meat and rosemary and garlic set Amon's stomach grumbling.

"Good evening," Yoshimura told them. Kirishima glared at them. The newest servant, Nishio, wiped his glasses on his apron as he stared at them.

"Where is Fueguchi?" asked Takizawa.

"Kaneki's teaching her to read," Touka said, drying her hands. Her lips pursed as if that's somehow distasteful to her. "And I somehow think seeing you is the last thing she would want."

Fueguchi's parents had to be guilty. At the very least, if they weren't, they were still sneaking in, and therefore he did nothing wrong in watching as Mado killed them. Nothing wrong. Nothing wrong.

_"Run!" shouted the woman. Her husband died first, as the girl took off. "Live."_

And then her head fell too. Amon's stomach soured at the memory. He was shocked, but Mado was always right. Mado gave him a chance. A life.

_Live…_

He had to live. To prove he deserved to be born.

"You're being rude," said Akira.

"Maybe." Touka offered no apologies. Akira cocked her head, almost as if in respect.

"Is that why he's been coming here so often?" Takizawa wanted to know. "To teach Fueguchi how to read?"

Touka nodded.

"Is there a problem?" Nishio asked.

"No," Amon said. "And we don't need to see her." Sweat pooled under his arms, from the fire's heat.

"Take some pastries," encouraged Yoshimura, gathering them in a basket.

"You don't need to do that," Akira protested.

"I do." He smiled at them, almost fatherly. A sorrowful look crossed his face in particular when he studied Akira. The door opened behind them, and a white-haired man came in, carrying several bloody burlap sacks. Meat. He nodded at them but didn't speak.

"Thank you," Akira said softly as Yoshimura pressed the basket into her hands. She hurried out.

"A waste of time," Takizawa proclaimed.

Amon scowled at his friend. The torches burned low in the underground passageway. Water dripped from the stones.

"A witch killed my mother," Akira said, digging into the basket of pastries and offering them some. Amon took a donut. "I can't let that happen to anyone else. My father's given his life to ensuring that it doesn't, and I have to do what I can."

"Because you miss her?" Amon ventured. The donut was soft and delicious, dough melting in his mouth.

"Because it's the right thing to do," Akira said, refusing to meet his eyes.

 _I admire that,_  Amon thought. Takizawa frowned, studying his boots.

The mother's cry still echoed in Amon's mind that night as he climbed into bed in his small quarters.  _Live_.

What did it mean to live? Why did he still feel empty, though he was living? Those people, the Fueguchis, had to steal food. But it was still stealing.

The pleas of Donato's victims echoed and echoed in Amon's mind. He tossed and turned on his cot, the mattress thin and lumpy. Every time sleep drifted closer, a scream from years ago sounded inside his skull, jerking him back to consciousness. They were ghosts, trapped inside his mind, haunting his thoughts. Amon rose, pressing his face against the tiny rectangular window. Most of the windows he could see out it were dark, but candlelight glowed from behind a few of them, sparks of life in the night.

He stumbled across the Fueguchis and Mado when Mado had already drawn out his sword. Takizawa gasped when he swung down, but Amon didn't hesitate. He trusted Mado. Mado gave him a chance. Mado told him he bore no responsibility for what that warlock had done.

He just wanted to live a life worth living.

Amon squinted.

In the distance, it looked as if a tsunami of fire was surging towards the main gate.


	5. IV: Invaders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Where did you learn to fight like that?"  
> "To survive," Touka returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Warning for violence this chapter.

Mutsuki's shoulder throbbed, and the deep bruise marring his thigh made sitting uncomfortable. Nakarai demolished him today in the courtyard, so much that Suzuya had to intervene. _Have Shirazu and Urie been taking it easy on me?_

 _Probably_. Mutsuki bit his lip. _I don't want to be so weak._ Mutsuki pressed his face against the cool glass of the window. Clouds covered the night sky, bubbling with distant lightning, so he can't see any stars. He curled up on the cushioned window seat, his room rather empty except for a bed. He didn't have books of fairytales like Saiko or paints and an easel like Urie. _I'm empty._

Rain started to patter against the glass. Mutsuki shut his eyes. _I miss my family._

His eyes opened, and they still weren't here. _Why did you have to die?_

Outside, he could see fortified walkways connecting their tower to three other towers. What looked like a sea of torches glittered. And then it vanished, all but two. Two hooded figures carrying torches made their way to Kaneki's tower.

Mutsuki frowned. Did Kaneki invite that kitchen girl he's been visiting back up? Humiliation crept down his spine—of course Kaneki wouldn't go for someone who's as weak as he is. But that girl—

No, the cloaked figures looked like men. Mutsuki got to his knees, peering down at them. Their torches sputtered in the rain. Swords glinted against the dying fire.

_They must be guards._

_Right?_

He should just crawl into bed and try to sleep, forget the ache in his shoulder and the pulsating pain in his thigh, because surely everything would be fine. They're knights. It's probably a nightly, or maybe even a monthly, routine. Mutsuki didn't look out the window every night. But Mutsuki hesitated.

_I don't want to be a coward._

Mutsuki slipped his boots on. His shoulder smarted as he pressed the door open. No one was in the common room. Kaneki was probably reading, and Saiko asleep already. Urie's probably painting, but when Mutsuki asked to see one of his paintings the other day he looked at Mutsuki like he was dog shit clinging to his boot.

Mutsuki reached for his sword. _Just in case._ He clattered down the stairs. _I'm sure it's nothing. And then if the others find out—will they think me even weaker for investigating something that turned out to be just a normal event?_

A door creaked below. Mutsuki halted on the staircase.

Footsteps clomped. Mutsuki tensed. _Will the guards think it's suspicious if I'm—_

A masked man, dressed in black, appeared. He wasn't wearing armor. Or the royal sigil. On his cloak was stitched a red, leaf-less tree. He did, however, have a sword.

He stiffened, sword aloft..

"Who are you?" Mutsuki managed. His voice trembled.

The man cocked his head. "Which are you? Man, or woman?"

Mutsuki took a step back. The man lunged at him, sword slicing. Mutsuki let out a scream as he struggled not to fall, his sword clashing against the intruder's. The handle tore at Mutsuki's palm as it ripped out of his grasp, flying down the stairs.

 _Oh shit._ Mutsuki screamed again.

The man pounced, pinning Mutsuki down with cold fingers. Panic clamored up Mutsuki's throat. He couldn't breathe. He gritted his teeth and kneed this man in the crotch. He tumbled away. Mutsuki kicked free, scrabbling to get to his feet, run, yank his shirt down, warn—

"Mutsuki!" bellowed Shirazu, appearing above him on the stairs, Urie beside him, sword clasped in his hands despite both of them being draped in their dressing gowns.

 _You heard me_ , Mutsuki realized in relief.

Something pierced Mutsuki's side. He cried out, warm blood spilling down his back. _Are you trying to cut my shirt off?_

"Stay away from him!" howled Kaneki, throwing himself past Shirazu and Urie. Saiko appeared in her dressing gown, terror twisting her mouth open. The intruder's sword skills were no match for three at once.

Mutsuki doubled over. The wound wasn't deep, but damn if it didn't hurt. The bitter scent of blood turned his stomach. _It feels—so familiar—_ like there was something pressing in Mutsuki's mind, trying to escape, but he couldn't pull it free, remember.

"It's okay, Mucchan, it will be okay," Saiko babbled, grasping his shoulders. "It's okay."

The intruder sliced at one of the torches, sending it tumbling down. Shirazu yelped as his hair burst aflame.

"Shirazu!" Saiko screamed.

Urie threw his cape over Shirazu's head, batting out the flames. The intruder turned on his heel and raced away, yelling about needing more help.

_More help?_

"Shit," said Kaneki, wiping his face. Urie made to race after him, but Kaneki threw his arm out, catching Urie in the chest and holding him back. "No!"

"He's getting away!" Urie yelled, face purple in rage.

"He's got backup, didn't you hear?"

"There were—two of them," Mutsuki panted. "I saw them coming."

Kaneki and Urie turned to face him as clangs echoed. _The bells_. One clang for a wedding, ten for a coronation. Continuous for attack.

The bells hadn't run continuously for two hundred years.

"How?" Saiko shrieked, clutching her face.

"I don't know," Kaneki stammered, face pale. "Shirazu—"

"It's just singed; I'll get some salve when this is over. If we still have salve," Shirazu grunted.

"Head to the battlements; see if you can find out what's going on. Saiko, go with him." Kaneki's gaze softened when it landed on Mutsuki, at the blood oozing from his wound. "Urie, take Mutsuki to Dr. Kanou."

"Are you insane?" Urie snarled. "He won't still be there—he'll be called to attend to—"

"Take Mutsuki to Dr. Kanou's chamber, wrap up his wound yourself if you have to, and then—Mutsuki, barricade the door. You're in no shape to fight." Kaneki leveled his blade at Urie. "That's an order."

Urie stiffened. "Yes, sir."

"I can wrap my own wound," Mutsuki managed as Kaneki dashes away. _Don't get killed, please_. He didn't think he could handle that. And there was no way he would let Urie see his bound breasts.

Urie glanced down at him and knelt, helping Mutsuki stand. "Let's go."

They barely made it out of the tower and into the pouring rain before lightning cracked above them. Thunder rumbled. The dove flag flapped in the wind. Mutsuki peered over the parapets, gaze landing below, down in the courtyard they always practice in. He sucked in his breath.

Urie gritted his teeth. "We've got to go down there."

 _What?_ Mutsuki gaped at him.

"They've got to be heading to the king's chambers," Urie said. "If we take the walkways, we have a shortcut. If can get around to the other side, there are arrow holes there, and an emergency supply. I've heard the guards talking. I can surprise them." He curled his fist. "You can get yourself to the infirmary, if you really need to go."

Mutsuki swallowed. Thunder roared again. _I don't want to be a coward._ "I don't."

* * *

The bells clashed through Kanae's dreams. She jerked out of bed, scrambling into the corridor.

Matsumae was already out there, sword in hand. "Aliza, Yuuma, bar the doors!" she barked. Mairo snatched his shield, charging out before the servants shut the doors.

"What's happening?" squeaked Chie, appearing in her nightgown.

"Are they truly under attack?" bellowed Shuu's voice. He appeared from the library. Of course he hadn't been asleep. The circles swelling under his eyes, visible even in the torchlight, frightened Kanae. She wasn't prepared to deal with another setback in his health. Any witch could take her instead.

"So it seems," Matsumae said, pressing her lips together. Kanae raced back to her quarters, grabbing her sword and shield. If the palace was first, their manor might be next. The last thing she would let happen was harm coming to Shuu. Never. She couldn't protect her family and they couldn't protect her, but she wasn't going to let that happen to Shuu. Now, she could protect him.

"I have to go out there!" Shuu was protesting when Kanae reemerged.

"Like hell!" snapped Matsumae.

"Kaneki's surely in danger!"

"He's almost a knight himself; I'm sure he can handle it!" Matsumae insisted. "I'm under strict orders from your father to protect you!"

Shuu clutched his face. "Go! I must! Go!"

Chie stuck her leg out, tripping him. He smashed into the carpet. Kanae cried out, dropping next to him to help him up. "Think about whether you really want to go, Tsukiyama," Chie said, face solemn.

For once Kanae was grateful towards the little mouse. She gave Chie a nod.

The screams in the distance pecked at her. She closed her eyes, remembering. It sounded just like this the moment they raided her family's manor. She remembered the rose sigil, trampled on the ground, shredded and mud-splattered. And the heads. The heads that Arunolt tried to keep her from seeing, the way he plastered his fingers over her eyes, but she saw them anyways.

She never saw his head, or Nathanael's but she knew they were there afterwards, and she saw them in her mind.

" _We are so blessed," she heard her father stating to her mother months before the raid. "Two sons to carry on the family name, and a beautiful daughter who's just as strong and brave as her brothers."_

When they were all gone, she disguised herself as a boy to arrive at the Tsukiyamas without being assaulted. It wasn't hard, because she kept her hair short in the first place, to fit in with her brothers. Her best friends. Nathanael used to pinch her cheeks and tell her she should act like more of a girl, and she would try to bite his fingers, and they'd laugh and laugh, and Arunolt would ruffle her hair.

And then it just became easier to be that boy who never existed. Kanae. For Karren, Arunolt, Nathanael, Emma.

She had never loved anyone the way she loved her brothers. And Shuu, she loved him even more than that.

"I won't let anyone hurt you," Kanae vowed, her voice catching.

Shuu looked up, meeting her eyes. A strange look crossed them, as if he understood why she was promising that, and he nodded. "Okay."

* * *

Urie rushed along, Mutsuki stumbling behind. Blood still dripped from his wound, but there wasn't too much of it. He would be fine. The last thing Urie was going to let get in the way of him gaining the respect and prestige his father died before achieving was this weakling.

"Here." Urie skidded to a halt inside a covered walkway. Two huge wooden doors ended the walkway, creaking as the wind shoved them back and forth. Thunder groaned above them, like a god's lament.

"There's nothing here," Mutsuki objected. Below them, feet pounded and shouts echoed.

Urie rolled his eyes and reached behind one of the torches, fumbling until he found a small hatch. He yanked it open. "The arrows should be—"

But it was empty. Only dust and a cobweb billowing in the sudden wind. Urie's jaw dropped.

"They're not there," whispered Mutsuki.

"I do have eyes, Mutsuki!"

The other boy flinched. "Someone probably already took them." The screams of battle roared ahead of them.

 _Mutsuki's in no condition to enter that fray._ He would lose his head in about two minutes, if he was lucky to last that long.

 _You can't hesitate, Urie_! He clutched his sword.

"Urie!" Mutsuki screamed.

An arrow pierced his shoulder. His sword fell. Urie's knees hit the stone, and he cursed, pulling the arrow out of his shoulder. The bleeding wa minimal—Urie flexed his fingers— _dammit_ , he couldn't move them. "I'm fine," Urie hissed, staggering back to his feet. The moment he got up, another arrow grazed the same shoulder.

"Stay down!" Mutsuki grabbed him, fingers digging into Urie's wound. "We can't move anywhere right now."

It burned, flesh torn open. Urie chomped down on his lip. _I can't—I'm not going to be a hero. I'm going to be a weakling, like this one._ He let out a scream, sending his fist flying forward, aiming for the stone. But his fist slammed into something soft.

Mutsuki.

Mutsuki fell back, mouth agape.

 _How perfect. Now you think I'm evil._ Rage sizzled up in him— _I should be enough, I'm trying so hard, why am I not enough_?

_Why couldn't you stay alive for me?_

"I hate you," Urie choked out. "All of you—Kaneki, Saiko, Shirazu, you—you're in my way—I can't— _why can't you all just die?"_ _Now you probably think I'm with the invaders. Who the hell cares? What do I have left? I can't keep trying because I know how that goes—every time I try, I fail—I can't win—I can never win—_

 _I want to make you proud. Instead I just bring you shame._ A sob tore from his throat.

"Urie." Mutsuki crawled closer.

 _Go away._ He curled his fists against the ground.

"It's okay," he heard Mutsuki choke out, and then something encircled him, something that reminded Urie of when his father used to hold him and read him a story. "We're not in your way." Mutsuki drew in his breath. "It's painful being alone. It's _agonizing_."

Urie's head fell forward, landing against Mutsuki's bony shoulder. _I'm alone. I'm alone. I'm alone._

Mutsuki's breath felt warm against his forehead.

_You're here._

Urie cracked his eyes open. "Mutsuki—" Blood didn't just stain Mutsuki's side. It stained his pants, his groin. "Did he stab your thigh, too?" _You should have told me!_

Mutsuki swallowed and shifted, yanking his tunic down. He worried his lip and suddenly Urie wondered if he had, indeed, been blind all along. _Your face… your voice…_ y _ou're-_

Something clattered behind them. Urie turned. His lungs constricted.

"I'm going to kill you," leered a figure clad in black, getting to his feet. He turned to Mutsuki. "You, on the other hand—you look pretty enough to—"

 _Oh, hell no_. Urie gritted his teeth. His shoulder might be wounded, but he was not letting this—

The man shrieked. A sword split his midsection.

"Found you," sung Suzuya, cleaning his blade on his britches.

Urie's eyes widened. _You, of all people, came to_ —" _Juuzou!"_

Suzuya spun as another figure prepared to plunge a sword into him. Suzuya dove to the side, rolling out of the way. "Hanbee!"

A sword cut down that invader, too, and the gray, shining face of Suzuya's abnormally tall companion appeared. "You—he—I—"

"Good job," Suzuya told him, picking up the weapons and wiping them. His gaze fell on Urie and Mutsuki, Urie's knuckles resting against Mutsuki's calf.

"They need medical treatment," Hanbee said.

Suzuya nodded, and Urie couldn't even protest. He glanced at Mutsuki. _You won't tell what I said, will you?_

_Because you know what it feels like, to be alone._

* * *

"Hinami, stay in this room, so help me," Touka vowed as she races out.

"Don't get hurt!" Hinami called after her.

The bells clanged in a cacophony around Touka. Screams echoed, and servants grabbed weapons to join the fight. Furniture scraped and thudded as others barricaded their doors.

All she had was this small knife. The guards confiscated her old one, but Touka took a new one from the kitchen. Just in case. Especially with Hinami there.

She leapt up the staircases. Touka ducked through one of the courtyards. Three figures clad in black appeared in in front of her—no, there were dozens of them, all swarming.

 _All I have is this knife._ And her feet. Touka tensed. _This place is my home._

" _Touka!"_ she heard a voice yell above her.

Touka craned her neck to see Kaneki, of all people, gaping down at her. Alone. _Where are your guards?_ A figure appeared behind him.

Touka hurled her knife. Kaneki ducked, and then turned to her in shock when he saw the man crumpling behind him, dead at her knife's throw.

And now she was completely defenseless. Because of him. Touka gritted her teeth. She didn't even want to save the pathetic nobles. They were not good people. They killed Ryouko. She wanted to save Hinami, Irimi, Koma, Yomo.

Kaneki let out a shout. She spotted another man rushing him. Touka cursed and leapt up the staircase. She knew his face.

_Why are you getting involved?_

She knew. She knew. Touka charged as the man kicked Kaneki's legs out from under him. Kaneki's sword went flying. Touka threw herself on the ground, sliding and knocking the man to the ground. She ripped his sword from his hand and stabbed it through his chest.

Kaneki gaped. "Where did you learn to fight like that?"

"To survive," Touka returned, grabbing the dead man's sword. Heavy, but it'd do. "Not for chivalry and entertainment, unlike you nobles."

"I need to find Arima," panted Kaneki. He staggered to his feet, looking at her. "Hinami—"

"She's safe." Touka got to her feet, rain plastering her hair to her face. "Let's go."

Kaneki's face sagged in relief. They charged down a staircase together, making their way to—wherever. Touka wasn't even sure. She just kept checking out every face they passed, every last one, desperate. _Where are you?_

"That's him!" crowed a voice. A huge man with a bulbous nose rushed at then, taking the stairs two at a time.

 _Oh, no you don't!_ Touka lunged at them, Kaneki behind her.

A foot collided with her ribcage. Touka hit the wooden floor, breath flying out of her. Her ribs ached. She squinted up to see the face she knew would be peering over her, the face she was looking for and yet the last face she wanted to see. _Why?_

Ayato sneered down at her, his boot pressing against her chest, pinning her. "Still loyal to the monarchy at the expense of everything else? Father would be proud of you, you idiot sister of mine."

_Touka, you're the big sister, so you have to teach your brother._

_I'm sorry, Father_.

Ayato knocked the sword from her hand, grasping her hair and slamming her skull into the stone wall. Stars exploded in front of her vision. She gagged. Blood stung her eyes from where her forehead split.

"You need to learn a lesson, _sister_ ," Ayato informed her. "I—"

"Touka!"

A sword clanged against Ayato's. He stumbled back.

_Kaneki?_

Rain sprays Touka's face as she peered up. Kaneki glowered her brother, his sword trained on Ayato's neck. _You came back for me?_

_You idiot. What about those two?_

Ayato tried to parry, but Kaneki was quicker. His sword sliced Ayato's side. Ayato lungedagain, and Kaneki knocked him back. Ayato threw a punch and Kaneki caught his arm, twisting it.

Ayato screamed.

"I won't kill you," Kaneki said, panting. "But your sister—"

Touka saw it coming before Kaneki does. "Stop—" She tried to wobble to her feet. Blackness closed in on her vision as two men descended, swords dripping in blood, preparing to strike Kaneki.

Touka was on her feet then, and her sword back in her hand, and she blocked their blow. Ayato scrambled. Kaneki drove his sword through the big man's eye. His companion fled.

Touka still couldn't breathe. She doubled over, using her sword to stand, to not fall on the blood-soaked body. Kaneki moved ahead, and then screams erupted. She staggered forward.

Arima. That white knight. Lying on the parapet with only a few flecks of blood on him and no visible wounds. But his eyes stared, vacant. Touka coughed. Pain exploded. She slumped down.

Another knight, the one with the receding hairline, lay next to him, and a boy with orange hair. Both of them stared, empty. A girl with blue pigtails hid behind a pillar, shaking.

Screaming abounded, but Touka couldn't place it. Everything was gray, and dampness seeped into her cheek. Someone shouted above her, someone that sounded like that white-haired knight who won the jousting tournament. But she couldn't remember his name.

One voice drowned them all out, but it was impossible for him to be here.

_Ayato, you have to protect your sister._

* * *

Akira sat bolt upright in her room. _Is this real?_ She scrambled for the window, peering out. Her cat hissed, jumping onto her bed. A door slammed. Her father, leaving their quarters.

It's real.

Akira grabbed a sword, threw a cloak over herself, and raced out into the corridor. Knights marched through the hallways on the way to and from the armory, swords and shields ready.

"Akira!" Amon appeared behind her, Takizawa white at his side.

"Who's attacking? It can't be another kingdom," Akira demanded. She swallowed. looks to Amon. _It's exactly as we both know—someone wants to bring down the crown. From inside._

"They're burning the stables!" Another knight rushes past them, armed with a shield and sword. Takizawa made to run after him.

"Takizawa!" Akira bellowed. He skidded to a halt and looked behind him, eyes wide.

"Stay alive," she requested.

He shook his head and rushed down one of the stairways. Knights flood the armory, looking for weapons. The bells should alert the nearby manors, and the town. Akira swallowed. _Someone had to be working from inside the palace—this has been planned for how long?_

 _Was the Rize incident just a red herring? Something for us to focus our attention on so that we wouldn't pay attention to what really matters?_ A pit formed in Akira's stomach. _What have we done?_

A crack echoed. Akira whirled around to see an intruder, cloaked in a dark cape with a red tree embroidered, climbing through the window. Behind them, people screamed inside the armory. _They're there, too—there are so many of them—could this coup be successful?_

Amon charged into the armory, sword aloft. Akira threw herself at the one climbing through the window. Leering, he flung himself at her. Swords clanged. Akira gritted her teeth. Sweat ran down her back—her sword slipped—she knocked his out of his hand, kicked him to the ground, and aimed her sword at his neck.

A white haired man with red eyes grinned up at her. A chill ran through Akira. "Who are you? How many of you are there?"

"I don't want to answer your questions no matter how pretty you are," the man responded. He snorted. "And I won't have to."

Something clunked behind her. Akira whirled around, but a meaty bicep closed over her throat. She gagged. Another hand, grimy and bleeding from climbing the stone, ripped her sword away.

_I hesitated._

_Why did I hesitate? I should have just killed him!_

_I don't want a repeat of the Fueguchis—I want to_ know!

"And now," mused the white-haired man as he got to his feet and laughed. "I think you'll—"

Akira bucked, kicking her legs up to protect her chest. The man holding her grunted but keeps his hold. White Hair's sword pierced her calf. Akira cried out. Blood pooled on the floor.

"Nice move," commented White Hair, sword dripping onto the stone. "I don't think you'll be able to do that again."

" _Akira!"_

Amon's sword sliced through White Hair's shoulder. He howled. "Ow! It hurts!"

"Damn right it does!" Akira shot back. She sent her good leg flying into the man who's holding her's groin. Amon knocked the third man back, grabbing her as she stumbles.

_I'm dead weight._

_Kureo, go ahead. It's okay_ , her mother told her father. _I'll be right behind you._

_You knew it was the end, didn't you?_

"Go ahead," Akira croaked out as they staggered down the hallway, reaching the stairs. "I'm too slow—you have to reach protect the king—"

Amon gaped at her in horror.

"Just go!" Akira shouted at him. She could still hear White Hair wailing, but it wouldn't be long until he got up, or his henchmen came, or some of the other invaders.

"Put your arms around my shoulders," Amon ordered.

"What?"

"I can carry you if you hold on to my back." He turned around. "Never stop fighting. Even if it costs you your arms and your legs. It's what your father taught me."

 _Father… are you okay?_ Akira nodded. _Keep trying to live._ She grabbed Amon's shoulders, fingers digging in as he stumbles down the stairs. Akira sliced the torches down as they go, enclosing them in darkness. The other knights would know the layout; the invaders wouldn't.

 _Would they?_ "Get me to the great hall," Akira grunted. "I can get into the front battlement from there—shoot arrows."

Amon nodded. When they reached the great hall, chaos abounded. Blood smeared the columns, and three bodies of invaders lay on the floor.

As did the body of a familiar white-haired man, a gash through his chest and his hand severed.

"No!" Akira struggled. Amon put her down. She scrambled over to him. "Father—Father—"

" _Father, I heard them saying they felt sorry Mother didn't give you any sons," Akira said one night, trying to eat the spicy soup she made a tad too spicy even for herself._

_He set his sword down. "Akira, there is nothing I value more in my life than you, and your mother."_

" _Come home," she said every time he left, leaving her with the sword she knew how to wield better than any knight._

"Come home," she whispered now, her fingers covered in his blood. "Come back. Come home. Come home."

The kingdom around her faded.

"Come home."

* * *

Hinami paced up and down her room. _Run_ , _Hinami!_

If she had stayed, maybe Mother would still be alive. Maybe she wouldn't be. _But I'll never know._

Kaneki brought her another book earlier today. He was a strange knight. He didn't hate her even though it was his betrothed. He was teaching her to read.

_I can't leave anyone to fight alone anymore._

Touka didn't have any more weapons lying around, but the kitchen had knives. Hinami threw the door open. A chilling scream tore through the air. She froze.

 _Move!_ she ordered herself, feet pounding as she charged down towards the kitchen. She clattered down the stairs, almost tripping over her skirt. She broke into a run again and skidded to a stop.

A figure clad in a black cape, red tree brazen on it, leaned against the stone wall. Blood streamed down his side, thick and dark. He let out a gasp, whirling to aim his sword at her. The blade shook.

Hinami quaked.

His face dissolved into shock, and her jaw dropped.

 _Touka?_ But it wasn't Touka, of course. This was a boy, about her age. But his face—it was Touka's face. Her hair, wild and unkempt on him. "You're hurt," she eked out.

He cursed and stumbled back, lowering the weapon. It clanked against the stones. "I have to—get out of here." Blood streaked his face, and he looked terrified. His left arm dangled at a loose angle.

"They're all gone upstairs!" bellowed a voice. "Check down here!"

The boy made to run, but he crumpled. Hinami made her choice. She lunged to catch him. "Put your arm around me."

He gaped up at her, and then his lips spread in a smirk. "So you _are_ a traitor after all."

"I'm not betraying anyone I care about," Hinami retorted. _Not Kaneki. Not Touka_.

_Not again._

She hauled him into the kitchen, into the backroom where they kept meat. Lowering him to the ground, Hinami's heart raced. She yanked the cape off and fumbled to light a torch. Her fingers soaked in blood as she yanked his shirt up.

"My sister will—kill me," he managed.

"You'd deserve it," Hinami said. "Touka is your sister, isn't she?" She bit her lip. The wound didn't look as if it pierced any major organs, but he was definitely losing too much blood. "Wait here."

She scrambled back into the kitchen before he could respond. She grabbed a bottle of brandy and raced back to her room, past guards who didn't give her a second glance only because they clearly didn't know who she was. She found some thread, and some needles, buried in Touka's wardrobe.

"This will sting," she warned when she returned. He looked so pale, hair starkly dark against his gaunt face. She popped the cork on the brandy and dumped it over his side. He let out a gasp. "I did warn you."

"If they catch you, your head will roll," he choked out.

Hinami's hands shook as she stuck the needle into the flames, sanitizing it. "I'd rather have my head roll for doing something than doing nothing."

He frowned, peering up at her.

"I don't have anything to numb you," Hinami added. "Here." She offered him the cork. "Bite down on it."

He accepted the cork. His face contorted as she started sewing. Nausea surged. _I'm actually sewing someone else's skin right now._ Tears leaked from the boy's eyes, and she paused for a second to wipe one drop away. Blood mingled with water along his cheekbone. When she finished, she leaned back. _At least you won't lose any more blood._

"Thank you," he managed, tossing the mangled cork from his mouth.

Hinami tore her apron to create a sling for his broken arm. He moaned again. "Who stabbed you?" she asks. _Maybe the story will distract him._

His head rolled back. "A precious knight."

"Your sister will be glad you're okay."

"Bullshit," he croaked. His hand grasped her arm.

She met his eyes.

"What's your name?" he panted.

"Fueguchi Hinami," she said.

He grimaced. "Heard about your parents. Nobles are evil."

"You're attacking the palace. You're evil."

He snickered, and then groaned.

"What's your name?" Hinami asked.

His eyes drifted shut. "Ayato."

...

Ui cringed. He leaned back against the damp wall of the castle, panting. A gash ran down his arm, blood caking his sleeve. Across the castle grounds below the parapet, bodies lay. Hirako Take sat across from him, clutching his bruised skull. The din quieted, but Ui still couldn't catch his breath. _How did they get in here?_

"Koori!"

Not that voice. Not now. Fear shot through Ui. He leaned forward.

A hand grasped his shoulder, pulling him up. Hairu's green eyes, melting with concern, met his.

"I'm fine," he managed.

"You're hurt," Hairu retorted, slinging his arm over her. She's dressed in a nightgown and overcoat. A sword, bloodied, hung from her side.

Ui cursed. "Tell me you weren't fighting."

"I was protecting the kids," Hairu replied. "The few orphans left." She glanced down at Hirako. "Take, I'll send for help, okay?"

Hirako grunted in response. He hauled himself up.

Hairu halted. Ui peered over her shoulder. The stairway to the king's chambers was strewn with bodies and heads. Ui's stomach churned.

"No," whispered Hairu.

Ui shrugged out from her arm. He staggered up the steps, her on his heels.

"Arima was on his way to protect them," Hairu cried. "He wouldn't have failed! I know he wouldn't have. He never does." Her voice echoed down the empty hallway.

The corridor, usually guarded by five of the best, was unattended. Okahira lay with a sword through his heart. Kijima was almost bisected. Tanakamaru was face-down. Hairu crouched. "He's breathing!"

"Ui," whispered a voice.

He turned. Against heavy velvet drapes lay a woman with her legs barely hanging on. "Shit! What happened?" Ui demanded, tugging at his waistband. He had to tie off the wounds or she'd bleed out. His hands shook. He squired for her. People used to scoff at him squiring for a female knight, but Aura Kiyoko was excellent, and Ui had no time for sexist prattle.

Aura Kiyoko shook her head. "Arima never arrived."

Ui didn't understand. Arima always prioritized duty. It was one of the many reasons Ui admired the man. Aura's blood soaked his knees. He tied the tourniquet as tight as he could make it. "Help's on its way," he promised. Hairu helped Tanakamaru to a sitting position.

"Marude?" Ui asked.

She shook her head. "He was here. He was fighting with us."

Ui rose. The doors to the king's chamber were hacked apart, as if someone used an axe. He stepped over the splintered wood, pulse hammering in his throat.

"Koori," Hairu hissed. She appeared behind him, grabbing a torch from the wall.

_He's dead._

Tsuneyoshi lay with a sword through his chest, face down, in his nightshirt. The curtains on the four-poster bed hung in tatters, the window was shattered, glass crumpled over the floor, and from the looks of it, whoever did it tried to cut off his head as well.

"Oh my word." Hairu's voice trembled. "Koori."

Ui turned to face her. Her face was white, her eyes filled with tears because of course she cared; she was the most caring person he knew. "Someone needs to find Yoshitoki, and Matsuri. Iyo too. Immediately."

_We have a new king._

If they're still alive. Horror ripped at Ui. What if they weren't?

_What's going to happen?_


	6. V: New Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He's our new king?" asked Urie in disgust. "There goes the kingdom."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"There's no one left," whispered Marude Itsuki, staring at the council's table. "Yoshitoki is dead; Matsuri, missing."

"He's as good as dead," said Kuroiwa, squaring his shoulders. "The amount of blood in that room was—it couldn't have been just Iyo's."

Ui didn't even want to think of what they'd be doing to the body. Serving that witch, most likely. Although when he brought that up Marude yelled at him, told him to keep his mouth shut.

Mado Kureo, dead. Arima Kishou, in a comatose state. Shinohara Yukinori, comatose. Shirazu Ginshi, comatose.

Less than a month ago they celebrated a marriage that would ensure the future of the Washuu line. Now, it's all gone. Overnight.

 _Arima, wake up,_ Ui begged. He's afraid. If they got this close with the power of that witch—because there's no other explanation—then they could come back. They could hurt Hairu next time.

His parents sent a letter with a dove that morning, asking him to return home. But Ui refused. He didn't even grant their letter the dignity of a response: he burned it. He couldn't abandon the crown now.

_There isn't even a head to fill it._

"Then we need a new king," stated Marude, face gray. He rubbed his chin.

A knock sounded. Ui turned towards the door. Dr. Kanou entered, nodding solemnly.

"How fares Arima?" asked Hirako, leaning forward. His hands gripped his knees.

Dr. Kanou shook his head. "Cursed, I'm afraid." He tutted.

"Cursed?" Ui burst out. He didn't understand. "I—"

"He has no actual wounds on his body," reported Dr. Kanou. "And neither does Shinohara Yukinori, and Shirazu Ginshi. The lady who was with Shirazu, Yonebayashi Saiko, claims he pushed her to the side as a dark figure came at them, and then he fell to the ground. Both of them breathe, still. It's witchcraft."

"What's the point of putting them in a coma?" demanded Ui. "Do they plan on—draining their life?"

"Presumably," said Dr. Kanou. "I presume they've marked them."

Ui rubbed his forehead. A breeze wafted through the open window, caressing Ui's face with damp fingers. "That threatening letter. The one Arima got." _They went after Shirazu because he was one of Arima's squires, right?_

_Could I be next?_

Judging by Hirako's sharp glance, he had the same thought. Ui swallowed. He wouldn't run. He wouldn't be a coward.

"If they've been watching him," said Hirako slowly. "That means someone inside the palace—and the Rize incident—"

"Yes, I'm aware," snapped Marude.

"Pardon," began Dr. Kanou. "But do you have a plan for a successor? Because with the amount of blood in Prince Matsuri's room, there's no way he survived."

Marude stiffened. Ui sucked in his breath. The kingdom's adrift.

"Because," said Dr. Kanou. "This may come as shocking news, and I had promised to keep it a secret, but given the—circumstances—I don't believe that's appropriate anymore." He cleared his throat. "You see, I helped a woman—unmarried—deliver a male child twenty years ago. The son of King Tsuneyoshi."

"He wouldn't have done that!" Ui protested. Hirako's hand clenched Ui's shoulder. Ui glared at his friend. He wouldn't let someone speak ill of the dead king Ui'd given everything to—

"He did," stated Dr. Kanou. "I believe when you see him, you will agree there is a striking resemblance between him and Crown Prince Yoshitoki. And I also believe you already know him. He's received quite a bit of training to at court, though the secret of his birth was covered up."

"Who?" demanded Kuroiwa, his arm in a sling. He winced, shifting his shoulder. The red velvet curtains flapped. Clouds approached in the distant sky.

"Furuta Nimura."

 _That knight? The one I defeated in jousting?_ Ui blinked. He remembered the boy, a sweet face, a slightly feminine air to his mannerisms. _He's the only Washuu we have left in the kingdom? That grotesque Kijima's protege?_

"His true name, though, is Washuu Kichimura." Kanou lowered his head.

"The people won't accept this," warned Marude.

"What option do they have?" Ui managed. Every head in the council room swiveled to face him. "If we wish to continue the Washuu line. He's the only one we have. A bastard can be legitimized."

"Does he even know?" wondered Kuroiwa.

"He knows," Kanou said. "Though I do not believe Yoshitoki nor Matsuri did. He's been devastated over his father's death."

"How are we to know this boy is fit to rule?" demanded Marude. "I mean, he's barely even a knight!"

"We ought to call him," said Hirako. "See what he has to say for himself."

Within minutes, Furuta enters the council room, head bowed and hands folded. "I was told you summoned me."

"Indeed," stated Marude. "We intend to discuss the circumstances of your birth."

"I have little memory of it. None at all, in fact." Furuta's lip quirked up. Ui cringed. "But, I must say, that wasn't what I was expecting. I rather thought you'd want to discuss the traitor issue."

"Excuse me?" asked Marude, narrowing his eyes. "How did you know about that?"

"With what happened to Arima, it was rather obvious," Furuta replied, leaning against the door as if he was a peasant at a tavern. Ui tried to gesture to him. _Stand up straight._ But Furuta didn't notice. "Given that letter. But the proof is—rather gruesome. I have it on the outer battlements, if you'd like to take a trip over there later." He pried himself away from the door. "And now. What's this meeting about?"

* * *

"Lady Akira?"

"Back to formalities, are we?" Her back to Amon, she slid gloves over her hands. Her eyes still appeared puffy, and her nose swollen. Amon envies her, being able to cry. He hasn't been able to bring himself to cry yet.

"We've all been summoned to the courtyard for an announcement."

"I'm aware."

 _I'm sorry,_ he wanted to say to her. _I should have been with him._ But he couldn't leave her, and now her father was dead. But if he'd left her, she would be dead, and surely her father would have prioritized her life over his.

"I'm sorry, Mado," said Takizawa, his head lowered.

"It's not your fault," Akira said.

"It's not yours either," Amon said.

She narrowed her eyes. "I know."

 _Do you though?_ Amon clenched his fists. _It's_ my _fault_. He remembered the story of Akira's mother. She didn't deserve to go through this again. Why was the world so unfair? He fingered with his cross, the edges pressing into the pads of his fingers.

"I shouldn't have gotten wounded," Akira said finally, grabbing her cloak and leaving her quarters with them. Torches burned brightly in the hall, obscuring her face. "I was raised to fight better than that."

"Your father would be proud of how you fought," Amon managed. He was confident of that in the very least. "The way you fought reminded me of him."

Akira glanced up at him. His stomach lurched. _I let you down. I'm sorry._

" _I let her down," Mado said once, chugging a beer in a tavern after a day of riding and training. "And I vowed to make the world a better place when I left it, in her memory."_

Amon remembered Ryouko and Asaki's heads again. He shuddered.

They entered the great courtyard, where nobles crowd. Callers prepared to announce the news to the peasants outside the palace's gates once it's over. Amon stood next to Kaneki. "I'm sorry for your losses."

"He isn't gone yet," Kaneki whispered. The girl with blue pigtails—Yonebayashi—wept beside him. Mutsuki put his arm around her. Kaneki glanced over his shoulder at Akira. "Akira, my condolences." Kaneki's voice trembled.

Akira met his gaze. She nodded.

"You two know each other?" asked Takizawa.

"She taught me how to fence," Kaneki said.

Amon's eyes widened. He didn't expect to hear that.

"Arima requested I do that," Akira stated, folding her arms.

"I didn't know that," said Kaneki, squinting against the sun. "I thought he just didn't care to teach me himself."

Akira frowned. "He cared." She turned back towards the courtyard. "I'm glad you're all right."

 _And so do you,_ Amon thought. _You care. You're just afraid to._

Amon spotted Suzuya Juuzou. His face was gray, his stitches a stark scarlet, but this time with crimson beaded around them, as if he'd stitched too deeply. "Suzuya," Amon said. _Shinohara…_

Suzuya met his gaze, Abara Hanbee's hand on his shoulder. "He jumped in front of me."

"Huh?" Amon frowned.

"Shinohara," Suzuya said, voice foggy, far off. "He's the only one—who never looked at me with disgust in his eyes. He jumped in front of me—killed an invader, and then he went down." He looked up again, eyes red and dark. "I'll kill them. I'll kill them all."

A chill shuddered down Amon's spine as Abara led Suzuya away.

"I must announce," boomed Marude Itsuki's voice. "The tragic demise of our king, Washuu Tsuneyoshi, alongside his son, Yoshitoki, his grandson, Matsuri, and his new granddaughter-in-law, Iyo."

Gasps echoed around them. Urie cursed.

"Arima Kishou is in a coma, as is his new squire, Shirazu Ginshi, and Shinohara Yukinori. But all is not lost. We have another Washuu—a son, Kichimura, whose existence and bloodline has been vouched for by Dr. Kanou Akihiro."

"Is that whom I think it is?" hissed Takizawa. His jaw hung open as Furuta Nimura walked out onto the balcony, bowing to the crowd.

 _"He's_ our new king?" asked Urie in disgust. "There goes the kingdom."

Furuta prattled about how shocked and humbled he was to lead the kingdom, and how he hoped they would accept him as a ruler. "And as an offering of the justice I mean to bring down on those who murdered my father, my brother, and my nephew."

The chill ripped from Amon's spine and coiled through his abdomen. He waited, stomach clenched.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a traitor in our midst." Furuta raised his hands to quiet the din that rose up. "And I believe, based on a note and two trinkets that arrived today, we know whom it is. I trust you, the crowd, to know what to do with him." Ui Koori's face turned to shock behind Furuta, and he grabbed the man's arm.

Akira's eyebrows drew together. "This is highly improper. A trial—"

Two heads rose up, held aloft by a page boy. Amon swore, dropping his gaze. Urie grimaced. Kaneki's jaw hung open.

"T-Takizawa?" ventured Aklra.

Amon lifted his head. He peered up at the balcony. And then he turned to see Takizawa's face a milky white, his friend shaking his head. Takizawa doubled over, vomiting. Amon grabbed his shoulders, holding him up. Across the courtyard, someone fainted.

"No," Takizawa eked out. "That isn't—I mean—"

"Those are your parents, Takizawa Seidou!" came a voice. Houji.

"The letter reads, 'our objective has been accomplished. We no longer need you,'" Furuta said, holding up a slip of paper. He crumpled it in red-gloved hands. "So tell me, Takizawa Seidou, are you a traitor?"

"He's not," whispered Akira. "I can't—he would never!"

Every eye trained on Takizawa. Hundreds of them. Takizawa swayed on his feet. "Mother," he mumbled, clawing at his face. "Mother—I—"

 _Is it true? Is someone framing him?_ Amon wracked his mind. _Takizawa's no traitor! He's a good man! A strong knight! My friend!_

"He couldn't have!" Akira cried out. And Takizawa's expression shifted. His eyes widened. His lips opened. A moan of anguish emerged, and in that moment it hit Amon.

_It's true._

"Step back, Lady Akira," snapped Houji. A gurgle emerged from her throat. She hesitated.

 _You don't want to lose anyone else_. His hands acted on their own. With a shriek of metal, Amon drew out his sword, stepping in front of Takizawa. His heart pounded. The sword stayed steady in his hand.

"What are you doing?" snarled Takizawa.

"Get on your feet." Amon didn't look at him. Akira just gaped.

"Put the sword down, Sir Amon," warned Houji. "We don't need to lose any more good knights."

Amon remembered hearing once about a knight who defected. Tatara. He was still out there, somewhere, despite being hunted for years. "We at least need to hear him out."

"I'm afraid that treason of this order demands an immediate execution," proclaimed Furuta. "That was my family."

Amon looked to Kaneki, to his squires. They all just stared. Urie's hand meandered towards his waistband.

Tears ran down Akira's face as she looked at Takizawa. She shook her head, mouth open in a silent scream, and he understood. She didn't want him to die. "There should be a trial!" Akira managed. "That's protocol!"

"New king," hissed a voice.

_Shit. Mado, what would you have me do?_

He's dead, and the dead couldn't speak.

"On your feet, Takizawa," Amon repeated. _Keep fighting. Even if they take your limbs._ That was what Mado taught him.

"You can't be serious!" But a clank tells him Takizawa's gotten to his feet.

"Good." Amon grabbed Takizawa's arm. He swung his sword out. Houji's clashed against his. Amon kicked out, parrying left and ducking. He scrambled through the crowd. Nobles screamed, ducking. Other knights drew their blades, a deathly chorus.

 _"Kaneki!"_ yelled Tsukiyama Shuu, rushing to protect him. As if he needed protection.

Amon jumped from the first window he saw, Takizawa ahead of him. They landed in another courtyard. "Stables!" Amon barked. A servant rushed at him, knife out. Amon cut his arm. Blood spurted.

In the stables, Amon cut loose all the horses, slashing wildly. Every horse whinnied, in a panic as they ran in different directions, at different speeds. Amon swung himself up on one, yanking Takizawa up behind him.

"The bloody hell are you doing, you fool?" Takizawa screamed.

"Saving you!" Amon bellowed. _I can't let you die._ _Not like that. Not like a dog_.

 _Am I really doing this?_ Fear gnawed at his bones. He didn't have a choice. He couldn't let them kill Takizawa. Takizawa would have an explanation.

Arrows rained down on them. Takizawa grabbed Amon's shield and used it to cover both of them as the horse charged through the main gate. Guards shouted in confusion. And then the were outside the gates, and Takizawa threw the shield down with a clatter and Amon's stomach with it.

 _I just committed treason_. Amon almost gagged. He leapt off the horse with Takizawa, sending the horse galloping in a different direction while they stuck to the alleyways, making their way to—to where?

To Aogiri, the district where they could disappear. Except no. Amon wasn't going to disappear. He would find out who was behind this. He would. He would find that witch. He would bring her down. For Mado. And Takizawa—Takizawa could help.

Clanking armor echoed. Takizawa grabbed Amon, yanking him behind a bale of hay outside a stable. Amon gritted his teeth to keep from sneezing.

"Why?" Takizawa rasped as the clanking faded.

" _You_ don't get to ask me that," Amon snapped, fury blazing. "Why? What did you do? And—"

"They threatened my family, okay? My parents. Seina." Takizawa hunched his shoulders. "Seina—I didn't see her head." He leaned his head back against the rotting wood of the stable. A termite crawled onto his shoulder.

"Well, you could have come to me," Amon snarled, grabbing Takizawa by his shoulders. "You could have confided—I would have helped you."

Takizawa's eyebrows lift. "No. You would have condemned me for not protecting my family."

"I would not!" Amon hissed. "And you don't get to criticize right now!"

"Now what?" Takizawa demanded. "We're alive. So what? What now? You worked hard to become a knight—you shouldn't have thrown it away for me. I'm not worth it. You're a—fool."

"I believe in you!" Amon snapped.

Takizawa wrenched away from Amon's grasp. "Well, you shouldn't!"

"We have a chance, Takizawa," Amon insisted. His chest heaved. He had to get through his friend's skull. He had to make him understand. "If we can catch the people behind this—you would know, right, who they are? How to find them?"

Takizawa threw his head back and laughed. He collapsed against the bale of hay as the clouds mixed with the dying sunlight. Dusk bled into the horizon. "I don't." He smirked up at Amon. "See, you put too much faith in me."

Horror bit into Amon. "I don't believe you."

"A smart thing." Takizawa snickered. He cursed, slamming his fist into the bale of hay again and again. "They sai—-they said they'd spare my family if I helped them—it was all for nothing." He bit into a chunk of hay, gnashing at it with his teeth.

"Stop it!" Amon grabbed him. Takizawa elbowed him in the face. "Ow!"

"I don't know!" Takizawa finally yelled. "I don't know, Amon," he said, hushing so others wouldn't hear them. "I don't know what to tell you. I don't know where to begin looking because they sent me letters one at a time, with locks of their hair, written in their writing—and I don't care. Why would I want to be a knight anymore? What is any of this worth to me when they're gone?"

Amon knelt on the moist earth. "I'm here."

Takizawa snorted. "Are you actually pretending you helped me for me? I've seen how you look at her. You did it for Mado."

Amon's jaw dropped. "Why are you acting like this? I just saved your life!" _I gave up everything for you_! Mado—he would be so disappointed. When he gave Amon so much. Memories swirled around Amon—Donato, the screams of a child, a knight telling him he was safe and it occurring to Amon that he hadn't been, Mado telling him he had potential, ruffling his hair like he was a son. "You're not the only person who's lost someone."

"I," said Takizawa, leaning in and grasping Amon's shoulders so tightly his fingers might leave bruises. "Am a traitor. I did it. I committed treason. For nothing. You owe me nothing. I did it. I did it! I did it!"

"You wanna say that a little louder?" came a husky voice from inside the stable. Amon grabbed his sword.

A girl with a raggedy dress hanging off her thin frame, long black hair matted and clinging to her scalp, appeared. Despite the dirt smearing her face, Amon felt shock seep into him, because he recognized her. "Yasuhisa Kurona?"

"Traitors, are you both?" Kurona threw her head back, a laugh ripping from her lips. "You are the last two I would have thought to see on the streets. So tell me, Takizawa, did you really kill the king? Good for you."

Takizawa recoiled. "He didn't!" Amon snapped.

"I'm quite sure he was just saying that he did." Kurona strolled out, plucking a strand of hay from her hair. "But he was a bastard anyways. Letting all of us die of plague because he didn't want to spend money on orphans, no matter what my father did for him as a stablehand. Kanou wouldn't come."

Plague. Like Harima. Amon closed his eyes.

"The longer you spend out here the more you realize how you're not any better than anyone else because you grew up in a palace," Kurona continued. Her voice shook. "You deserve whatever happens to you two."

"Even if I killed the king?" Takizawa asked. "Or allowed people into the palace to attack. I didn't know they would kill him."

"A good deed." Kurona rolled her eyes. "This stable's abandoned. I have some rations you're welcome to for the night. Unless you want your heads to roll."

* * *

"Here's water." Hinami slipped into the backroom where Ayato lay, his side burning and throbbing. Hinami's stitches managed to stop the bleeding, but he still felt dizzy when he tried to stand. _How long will I have to stay here?_

_Eto…_

Hinami wiped at her eyes as she handed over a canteen. Ayato swallowed what he can. "Did—any of your friends—not make it?" He thought of Touka. If he knocked her out, she couldn't keep fighting. If she couldn't keep fighting, she wouldn't be killed. She must have told Hinami. His stomach curdled. _Why are you so loyal to her anyways?_

Hinami took the canteen and offered a bowl of porridge. The small torch flickered, lighting up her face. "Your sister was wounded. She's okay, though. They killed the king—the princes. The entire royal family." Her voice trembled.

"So they _did_ get them." He had no idea that was what Eto's plan was, but then again, she was always thinking twenty steps ahead of everyone else.

Hinami's breath caught. "So that _was_ the plan?"

 _Shit_. Ayato bit his lip. "Why does that upset you? They killed your family. Aren't you angry?"

Hinami glanced away. "Only with myself. For not saving them."

Ayato snorted. "Oh, that's rich."

"I miss them," Hinami whispered, tracing her finger in the dust lining the floor. "I'm no—angry. I don't want revenge. I just want them back." Her eyes met his. "I miss them. I'm just sad." Her shoulder shook. A sob broke from her throat.

"That's stupid," he snapped, because her words stirred up memories, things he didn't want to think of, a face, a voice. _Father_.

She squinted at him. A laugh emerged, throaty and hearty.

He didn't understand. "Why are you laughing?'

"Your angry face," she said. "It's the same as your sister's."

"Hmph." Ayato pulled the bowl of oatmeal onto his chest. His heart pounded. He couldn't stomach the idea of food now, but—

The door burst open. Hinami spun around, terror etched on her face.

Yomo's eyes bulged when he spotted Hinami, and they darkened when he took in Ayato. Ayato tried to push himself up on his elbow. His head spun. _Dammit_.

Hinami caught his shoulder. "Lie back down."

"Harboring one of the invaders is not a good choice for absolving yourself, Hinami," Yomo commented.

 _You wouldn't turn me in, would you?_ Ayato shoved the bowl away from him. If Yomo did, they'd torture him like that mercenary Yamori said they did to him, taking his fingernails, his toenails, flaying his skin. And then they'd surely execute him.

"He's Touka's brother," Hinami insisted. "I can't let someone else die when I could have done something—I can't let someone else lose their family!" Her voice broke.

Yomo, the butcher, towered over Ayato. "Look at me, brat."

Ayato hesitated.

"Look at me!"

Ayato peered up at him, nausea surging. "I—"

"If you have any respect or love left for your sister—for Hinami too, since she saved your life—you might want to consider the fact that whichever group you're working with won't want you back now that they presume you've been killed or captured. You'd be a liability. And you also might want to consider Hinami's sentiments—although judging by what you did to Touka, I don't think you care much about family bonds or love or friendship, do you?" Yomo's eyes blazed.

"You're the one who attacked Touka?" Hinami whirled around to glare at him.

 _Damn you, Yomo_. Ayato swallowed. "I—"

It's true. Eto would suspect him, and Tatara and Noro—they wouldn't let him near her if he escapes.

_And I can't stay here long._

_I have nowhere to go_.

He grimaced. He could barely move his broken arm. _I don't know what to do._

Something clattered outside the door. Yomo stuck his head out, hand on his sword. He stepped back.

Touka entered. A bandage wrapped around her temples, bloodied on one side, and her eyes steamed with rage.

 _Shit_. Ayato cowered.


	7. VI: Laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If you're going," Touka said, squaring her shoulders. "Then I'm going with you."

"What are you doing here?" Touka snarled.

"Why do you care?" Ayato shot at her. "You just—you don't even know me—or—you just saved me, that's all, why does it even matter to you where I go from here?"

"Because I put effort into keeping you alive and I'd like you to stay that way!" Hinami interjected. She glared at him, and Ayato's stomach clamped.

"Oh brother," complains Irimi as she entered, Koma behind her. Yoshimura paused in the doorway.

 _Well, fuck_.

"Why did you raid the palace?" Yoshimura broke away from the doorway and knelt down. He held a cup of milk out to Ayato. Hinami snatched it and helped him sit up to drink. It was sweet, as if Yoshimura had stirred sugar into it.  _You knew I was here?_

He shakes his head. "It—Eto wanted to."

"Who is Eto?" demanded Touka. Yoshimura stiffened.

"The witch I work for," Ayato returned. His sister's face tightened in horror.  _Yes, I am that far gone, Touka! She can help us!_

"What did she promise you, Ayato?" Touka managed. "What did she promise in exchange for—"

"Nothing!" Ayato yelled back at her. He coughed, and Hinami adjusted the burlap lying over him.

"Ayato." This time it was Yomo whose voice dripped disapproval.

"She offered me a chance for freedom, and a chance to fight back," Ayato wheezed. "None of which I could have had working a life in a palace with people who look down their noses at us all simply because we're—who we're born to. I'm not like Father, Touka. I  _won't_  be like him. I'll be—"  _Strong._

"Do you know where to find this witch?" asked Touka.

"I'm not telling you, shitty sister."

Hinami scowled at him. Ayato dropped his gaze.

"You don't understand, Ayato," Touka hissed, and then she crouched down, grasping his hands. "The palace is in complete disarray. They just tried to execute two knights for betraying—for letting you all into the palace."

Ayato shrugged and regretted it. Pain stabbed. He groaned. "I don't know anything about that." But he did know that Tatara had a contact in the palace who helped them figure out when the guards would be changed at each gate.

"If they find him here, we're all as good as dead," Irimi stated.

"We're not turning him in," declared Hinami.

Yomo looked down at him as if he were a fly Yomo crushed under his boot. Ayato glared up at him. Who did Yomo think he was, anyways? He wasn't Ayato's father.

"Where are they?" Touka asked. "Ayato. I—you have to tell me. Where is this witch located? Are we in further danger?"

"We're all in danger so long as the crown rules," Ayato eked out.

Hinami pinched Ayato's shoulder. He yelped. "Where?" she demanded, eyes brown and soft and the color of toasted cinnamon bread. "My parents died because of that witch."

"If you tell us," Touka said slowly. "And she's caught—or at least it comes out that she exists—it could clear Hinami. As it is there might be renewed suspicion around her, after the attack."

Ayato's breath caught in his lungs. He didn't want Hinami to suffer. She was too sweet for her own good. And stupid to help him. But also sweet. He didn't understand. "What could you do with that information anyways?"

"Tell Kaneki," Touka replied. "The one who bested you."

Ayato scowled.

"For Hinami," Yomo said quietly. "Ayato, please."

Something about his voice reminded Ayato of a voice he heard in his dreams, a voice he couldn't remember in real life. It was a lie, of course. Yomo was a man, for one. And he certainly wasn't Ayato's mother.

"Fine," he said.  _Now I have no place to go back to_.

Yomo, Yoshimura, Irimi, and Koma left with Touka. Hinami remained, playing with the hem of her drab skirt.

"Why are you still here?" he asked, adjusting against the burlap sacks. His shoulder burned.

"Why not?" asked Hinami. She folded her hands on her lap. "Thank you. For telling."

"Wasn't like I had much choice," he snapped.

Hinami flinched, and guilt nipped at Ayato. A fly buzzed above his head.

"Aren't you angry?" he asked. He knew Touka was angry. He could see it in her eyes.

Hinami shook her head. "The knight who killed my parents was killed in the raid."

"You're welcome," Ayato said.

"I was relieved," she said, hunching over, wrapping her arms around her knees. "Not happy, not sad. Relieved. And—I wish—I wish I could do something. Like Touka. She ran right out there, to fight you. Kaneki, he ran out there too, and he makes time to teach me how to read. I hid."

Ayato frowned. He lifted his uninjured arm. His hand landed on her shoulder, skin soft and warm. Ayato gulped. "You helped me."

She smiled. "True."

"I don't know how to read," he commented.

"You don't?" Hinami's eyes lit up. She scrambled to her feet. "Be right back."

Ayato leaned back, squirming again. A spider ran alongside the wall, scurrying towards its web. Ayato closed his eyes. He was originally supposed to work in the palace kitchens with Touka. After their father died, they worked in the Tsukiyama manor, until Tsukiyama irritated Touka too much and she hit him over the head with a pan and they had to run out in the middle of the night, fleeing that enraged weird knight of his, the one with the lavender hair who always smelled of roses. And then they begged on the streets, and there was a man with a red mask who used to buy food and give it to beggar children. Rumor had it he was once a knight, but he left that life after realizing how unfair and wrong the world of nobles and peasants was.

Yoshimura found them, taking them in, but Ayato couldn't adjust. He left, went back to the former knight. Tatara took him under his wing, introduced him to Eto.

"Here, Ayato," Hinami said as she bursts back through the door. She settled down on a sack of rice, holding a book out to him. "We'll start small. I've made a lot of progress in not even a month."

"I didn't say I wanted to learn," Ayato groused.

Hinami blinked.

"But that'd be nice," he added quickly.

Her lips rose in a smile again.

* * *

"What do you want?" snapped Urie Kuki.

"I want to see Kaneki," replied Touka. She had no patience for this irritating snob today.

"Why would he want to speak to you?"

 _I could kick your ass, baby,_ Touka thought in disgust. She narrowed her eyes. "I said, I want to see him. It's important."

"He's formulating a plan to track the traitors—"

"Urie!" called Kaneki's voice from up the spiral staircase. "Who's there?" He pounded down the stairs. His mouth opened with he saw Touka standing there.

"I'd like to talk to you," Touka said stiffly. She gestured towards Urie. "Although he doesn't seem to think I'm worthy of that. I might pollute you with my lack of a noble bloodline. My words might shave off part of your brain, or something."

Urie's face reddened. "That isn't what—"

"I'll speak with her," Kaneki declared. He placed his hand on Urie's shoulder, and Urie looked as if he wanted to wrench it away. "Please check on Mutsuki and Saiko."

"They were planning to see you," Urie said coldly. "Considering the other three are arriving tomorrow and there's no Arima, and they're still quite devastated over Shirazu's state."

"I'll speak to them tonight," Kaneki decided. Urie's eyes flashed. Touka shoved away any guilt. This was important.

"What's happened?" Kaneki asked her, directing her along one of the ramparts. The wind whipped through her hair. Her head wound stung. She reached for one of the parapets, clenching her fists around the stone.

"If I tell you something, you have to promise not to tell anyone. Though I doubt you would." Touka snorted. "Considering that you haven't told anyone about my brother."

"I heard him calling you  _sister_ ," Kaneki admitted, moving to stand next to her. The sun shone down on his black hair. He wore an eyepatch. "I'm sorry."

"See, you should want to question me," Touka told him, turning to him and folding her arms. Below them, knights and servants worked to repair the palace. Maids knelt to scrub up the blood staining a staircase.

"What for?" he asked. "I know you're not traitor."

The sun peeked out from behind a gray cloud. Touka squinted. "Hinami saved my brother from the guards. He was wounded. We're hiding him. Not for long, but until he recovers."

Kaneki's jaw dropped. "That's—Touka, if you get caught—"

"What would you do?" she wanted to know. The maids below hauled up buckets of soapy water, now stained pink. She thought of her father. The mother she scarcely remembered. As much as she tried, Touka couldn't remember her face.

Kaneki said nothing.

"He told me where to find her," Touka told him. "The witch. In Aogiri."

Kaneki sucked in his breath. He cracked his knuckles.

"I thought you ought to know," Touka said, arching her back. A bird landed nearby and she jumped. Kaneki laughed. And then the bird took flight, soaring towards the sunlight, and she was left standing, relieved it was gone.

"I don't know how to tell them without ratting you out," Kaneki said. "And I won't do that."

Touka swallowed. "Well, thank you."

"If Ayato wants a job, I'll get him one once it's healed. I doubt anyone will recognize him." Kaneki frowned. "And I'll go myself."

"Hm?" Touka frowned. "Are you an idiot?"

"Just to scope it out," Kaneki insisted. "Not to confront this witch." He cracked his knuckles, one at a time. Snap. Snap. Snap.

"If you're going," Touka said, squaring her shoulders. "Then I'm going with you."  _Don't you dare argue with me, Kaneki Ken._

He dropped his head. "I'll meet you outside the kitchen at eight tonight."

By the time Kaneki arrived, Touka was ready. Hinami was off reading to Ayato again. Touka listened to their voices, Ayato's softer than she'd ever heard, and her eyes burned. But she changed into a pair of britches she stole from the laundry room and one of Koma's huge shirts. A cap covered her hair.

"What's with this getup?" Kaneki asked.

"It's safer," Touka replied. Not that he probably had to worry about that, being noble  _and_  a man.

Kaneki escorted her through the palace, towards the stables. Touka's boots crunched the grass. The odor of manure spread through the air as they drew closer. "Did you know the knights who betrayed us?"

Kaneki glanced at her as he greeted the guard. "Not well," he answered as he hoisted himself up on a dappled stallion. Touka swung herself up behind him.  _What the hell am I supposed to do with my hands?_ She's never ridden a horse before. Only Kaneki held the reins. Touka gulped. She reached out, her fingers gingerly landing on Kaneki's waist. He sucked in his breath.

"Hold on," he told her, and then they were off. Touka squeezed her eyes shut. "I knew Amon better than Takizawa!" Kaneki shouted over his shoulder. "But they were both friends of Akira's!"

"And she taught you how to fence?" Touka yelled. Her stomach lurched. She knew Aogiri was miles away from the palace, but did they need to go this fast?

"Yes!" Kaneki called. "Arima was always so busy."

"Doesn't sound like he was much of a mentor!" Touka tried to paint her mother's face in her memory. She couldn't.

"He's the only father I ever knew," Kaneki replied, his voice nearly stolen from the wind.

Touka leaned closer. Her chin brushed his shoulder. She remembered her father. He wanted to be a noble. He believed they were inferior.

When the houses turned into small shacks, and packs of dogs prowled over the shit-strewn streets, Touka knew they were in Aogiri. She wondered if Kaneki had ever been to this part of the city before. A group of children giggled, peering out from behind a rotting fence. Kaneki fumbled in his pocket.

"Careful," Touka warned. "They might jump us."

His jaw fell open.

"I used to jump people when I had to," Touka added.

They rode towards the edge of town. Touka spotted a grove of trees. Bleeding willows, the ones Ayato had mentioned.

"You don't need to go that far," a voice interrupted.

Touka jumped. Kaneki whirled around. A small woman, hair wild and unkempt, beamed up at them. The moon set her face aglow.

"What have we here?" she crooned. "Two lovers? A prince and a pauper? If you want to pass as a man, honey, you need to bind those breasts of yours."

"Who are—" Kaneki started, but Touka grabbed his sword from his waistband.

"She knows," said Eto. "I'm the person you're looking for, Kaneki Ken, Kirishima Touka. But I'm afraid I'll be far less help to you than you think. I did not kill your king. And I did not curse your knight."

"Lying bitch," stated Touka, leaping off the horse. Her boots sank in the mud. "You sent them to attack."

"Attacking isn't an assassination, and they failed at the one thing they were supposed to do," Eto replied. "Expose Tsuneyoshi as the bastard he is. Not literally, of course. His parents were respectable and married. But if you only knew the secrets the Washuu crown keeps. And yet, of course, someone else is one step ahead. Round one, lost."

"I don't believe you," Touka said. Her heart pounded. "Kaneki—"

Eto laughed. "If you're really curious of whom you should be looking for, you should track down the last person to live with an actual witch in the kingdom. Of course, I heard he fled today like the pathetic soul he is, all to save a friend."

 _Amon Koutarou_. Touka scowled at her. "You are—"

"I did not curse them," Eto repeated. Behind her, a figure in white with a red mask emerged. Touka's eyes narrowed. She remembered that man. And then more people emerged, all holding bows and arrows, all aimed at her and Kaneki.

 _We're surrounded._ Touka took a step back.

"What do you want?" Kaneki eked out.

"I want," Eto said. "For you to leave now. But beyond that, Kaneki Ken, I want you to find out the truth. Think long and hard about who might have a motivation to remove the king from the throne."

"And why would we believe a witch?" Touka snarled.

Eto laughed, the sound rumbling through the night air. "Fear not. We have no desire to attack the palace again. But let your brother know, Touka dear, that if he comes back here, I'll have his head for his desertion."

Touka lunged at her. Kaneki grabbed her, and an arrow flew past her ear, singing.

"Rize," Kaneki breathed. "Where is she?"

Something squirmed inside Touka.

Eto laughed. "Rize? What was she to you, anyways? Besides an illusion of a life Arima Kishou wanted you to live? I have never met Kamishiro Rize, Kaneki Ken. And I certainly wouldn't drain her life. If I really raided the palace with that intention, why would I have told my soldiers to kill? No, my poison works slowly." Her lips parted in a white smile. "The people's confidence is shaken in you nobles. And once it topples, there is no going back. I don't want to be queen. I don't want a kingdom of witches. I want a land where the poor are eat from the same plates as the wealthy. I want a land where you can marry whomever you wish. Wouldn't you want that, Kaneki Ken?"

Kaneki stiffened. The trees rustled, branches knocking against each other. Bark scraped.

"My mother, Lady Ukina, died giving birth to me, the child of a highborn lady and a kitchen servant," Eto added. "No one wanted me. And Kaneki, don't you know how that feels? It's a terrible kind of loneliness."

"Leave him alone," Touka barked.

"Keep hissing, kitty cat," Eto purred. The wind whipped a strand of mint hair across her face. "Now you'll see. Soon he'll reveal his true colors, though if you can't already see them, I'm not sure what good it will do." One of her eyes gleamed as moonlight fell across it. "I am not the witch you are looking for, and if you think there is only one witch in the kingdom, you are sorely mistaken."

"Why would we believe you?" Touka snapped. Her chest heaved.  _You liar_.

"You won't. Now get out," Eto requested. "Or I'll send your heads back to Yoshimura Kuzen." Bitterness bled through her tone.

 _How do you know him?_ But Touka had no time to argue.

* * *

Kaneki tossed and turned all night. He rose before dawn, writing a note to Hide.  _Given the turmoil, please come visit._ Hide was always intuitive, good to brainstorm with.

But Kaneki burned the note before he could send it. Why would he summon a friend to a place of danger?

The three new squires arrived, and Kaneki barely greeted them. They were all summoned, along with the other knights, to the throne room, where King Kichimura sat on a throne of gold, embedded with rubies that glistened like blood drops.

"I have spoken to Kanou," stated Furuta. "He claims that, in times past, killing the witch who cast the spell would wake the cursed from their sleep."

Cold seeped into Kaneki. If he'd just killed that lying witch last night… His face burned. If anyone found out what he and Touka did, it'd be their heads.

"I'm told you have a concern, Lord Marude?" asked Furuta. "Tell me your concern."

Kaneki frowned. Marude shuffled forward, hands folding across his stomach. "I expressed concern to Sir Ui last night concerning the public spectacle you made yesterday in the courtyard." The royal blue curtains, made of velvet, swayed over the windows.

"You mean exposing those traitors?" Furuta inquired, slouching in the throne as if it were a chaise lounge. Urie scowled. "And tell me, what was the problem? Or is it really that you just don't like that a person of my birth has the throne?"

"Th-that isn't it at all," Marude stuttered. "I meant that you need to act the part, and protocol demands a trial, not a public execution for someone with an excellent reputation."

Furuta stroked his chin. Mutsuki slunk in his chair. Urie glanced at him. "Tell me," requested Furuta, running his hand through his shining onyx hair. "What you would have had me do?

Marude stuck his chest out. "Think."

"Elaborate." The smile stayed on Furuta's lips, but his eyes were like ice. "Don't hold back now, Lord Marude. You're a respected member of the council. Do tell us what you're thinking; I'm sure we can all benefit from secrets being brought to light." He tilted the royal scepter as if it were nothing more than a toy, spinning it in a circle. Roma, one of the court jesters, let out a bark of laughter.

He's mocking him. Ants ate at Kaneki's stomach. Mado Akira sat in front of him, her eyes bright and her hands clenched.

Marude stuck out his jaw. "Had you not acted rashly, we might still have Amon Koutarou here. Few knights are so willing to turn on their friends."

"Hm." Furuta swung his legs over the edge of the throne. "Now that you've criticized me, Marude Itsuki, might I tell the court about your little secret?"

"Excuse me?" Marude scowled. The black and white chessboard of the floor glinted in afternoon sunlight.

"I mean," Furuta said, leaning towards him. "Your relationship with my brother. Entirely beautiful; tragic though considering he had to marry a woman. Or was it really beautiful, or were you hoping to rid yourself of the heirs? As head of the king's council, you stood to inherit the throne before Kanou told you of my existence."

Marude's eyes bugged out. "Are you accusing me of treason?"

"Was he really in a relationship like that with the crown prince?" whispered Saiko. Kaneki gulped.

"I said nothing of the sort. For now, you're removed from your role as counselor." Furuta crossed his arms over his chest.

"That's an insult!" Marude fumed. His face swelled, turning purple. "I've only ever served the crown faithfully—"

"Served on your knees?" Furuta drawled.

Gasps abounded. Kaneki felt like a melting candle.

"This is your chance to swear fealty to your new king," Furuta proclaimed. "On your knees, but in a different sense." He held out his signet ring. "All of you."

Suzuya's lips curled. Kaneki felt nauseated. Mutsuki clutched his knees. Hsiao, one of the new squires, gaped.

"You expect me to swear fealty and kiss your ring after you insulted my honor in more ways than one?" demanded Marude. "Fuck you."

Akira cringed.

"Very well then," said Furuta. "Guards, arrest him. You'll be locked up until we can clear you. If you're guilty, you'll lose your head. If you're innocent, we'll strip your title."

Marude whipped out his sword, but Furuta gestured to Suzuya. Suzuya wrinkled his nose, but he and his fellow squires approached. Marude cursed.

Kaneki turned away. Swords clanged. Cries echoed. In the end, Marude was knocked over the head and dragged out.

 _What is this?_  Kaneki thought of Arima, lying unconscious in the infirmary.  _Wake up. You have to wake up._

_This king is insane._

And the worst part was that it lent credence to Eto's words.


	8. VII: Reflections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one could refuse a king.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and Happy Valentine's Day! Kinda a slower chapter today.

"I'm the first to hate Marude," proclaimed Suzuya Juuzou. "But that man's a piece of shit."

Kaneki glanced across the table. Suzuya scowled into his mug of sweet milk. They'd been sent to look for Takizawa and Amon in the tavern they used to frequent, but no one claimed to have seen them. A figure in a hood swept past in the background. Kaneki coughed.

"You all right?" asked Suzuya.

Kaneki nodded. He didn't want Suzuya to catch sight of Akira. Though from the sound of it, Suzuya was less than enamored with their new king.

"Do you miss Arima?" Suzuya wanted to know. "I gave your three new squires a lesson today, by the way. Hsiao's talented. Higemaru twisted his ankle."

Kaneki hunched over. The sour smell from a traveler vomiting behind him invaded his nostrils.

" _You have to learn to fight," Arima told him when he first arrived, after he knocked Kaneki down so hard he cracked a rib. "Or you'll be fodder." He extended his hand down. "You have potential, Kaneki Ken."_

"Yes," Kaneki said. No one else ever thought he had potential. Kaneki spun his mug around in his hand. Akira slipped out the entrance, dejected. He sought out Akira's help after Arima kept beating him. Because he wanted to capitalize on that potential.

No. Because he didn't want to let Arima down.

"I want to make him proud," Suzuya said, voice rough. "I can't—he took a chance on me."

 _You're from a peasant background._ Kaneki wondered how Suzuya justified the way the Fueguchis were murdered. Maybe growing up in a brothel gave him no good impression of peasants. Though, with the news that Tsuneyoshi had a bastard son, maybe there was no different. Kaneki rubbed his temples.

"I have no choice but to go along with what that man wants," Suzuya said. "Shinohara always primed obedience to the king." He blew out his breath.

"It will be all right, Suzuya," Abara assured him. His hand rested on Suzuya's small shoulder. "I'm sure he will wake up. We'll kill that witch."

Kaneki thought about what the witch had said. He shifted on the stool. A splinter stabbed at his thumb.

"Let's go," Suzuya said. 'The traitors aren't here, and we've wasted enough time drinking."

The late afternoon sunlight dwindled to a thick orange. Smoke and the scent of roasting meat spilled out of houses lining the streets, setting Kaneki's stomach rumbling and reminding him of the kitchen. He still felt as if this was a dream. As if he would wake up, and Arima would scold him for Saiko's tardiness and his own hesitation to scold her.

The dove banners still flap overhead as they enter the palace.

"Kaneki Ken?" asked one of the guards. "His Royal Highness wants to see you."

Ice shot through his veins. _He knows._ Kaneki couldn't breathe. How? Had he already taken Touka? In that case, he'd have no choice but to go—maybe he could convince Furuta— _how?_

Kaneki's boots clopped the tiles as he trudged down the hall, his stomach burning with dread. Suzuya waved at him, clearly expecting nothing out of the ordinary, but Kaneki knew better.

If Furuta found Ayato, he would not be merciful. Not to Ayato, not to Hinami, not to Touka, not to Kaneki. Kaneki's mind spun, trying to pluck a lie from his imagination, a strong lie that wouldn't shatter at Furuta's battering rams, a lie that would let Touka and Hinami off, at the very least, maybe give them time to help Ayato escape. He could take the blame. Somehow.

He entered the throne room and knelt.

"Rise," said Furuta, clapping his gloved hands. "Kaneki Ken. I've been wanting to talk to you."

Kaneki got to his feet. His legs felt numb.

"I'm planning an inaugural ball," Furuta stated, swinging the scepter around and around. "A masked ball. Does that sound like a good plan?"

Kaneki blinked. "Pardon?"

Torches burned brightly against every marble pillar. Furuta rose from his throne. "You were Arima's squire."

Kaneki nodded.

"And you have seven squires now. Three new ones, but no knight."

Kaneki swallowed. "Yes."

"How do you feel about becoming a knight already?" Furuta crooned, stopping inches away from Kaneki. "Then they can be your squires. At least until Arima awakens, of course. But I've seen you fight. You're skilled enough to be a knight, and I can't foresee the treason of Takizawa Seidou in you."

"I—"

"Although," Furuta continued, hand descending to grip Kaneki's shoulder. "You hesitated that day. I saw you hesitate."

"They were my friends," Kaneki choked out. His heart beat wildly in his chest. _Touka_ _—does he know?_

"Hm." Furuta pressed his lips together. "May I have your assurance that that won't happen again?"

"Is this really all about the seven squires?" Kaneki asked. "Or is this about something else?" _Are you playing me?_

Furuta threw his head back, laughing. "It's about something else." He cleared his throat. "Kamishiro Rize was a childhood friend of mine. You must be devastated by her demise."

"I'm sorry," Kaneki said softly. Somehow he didn't think it was a good idea to tell Furuta that he hardly knew Rize. Though Furuta ought to know.

"I heard you spend a lot of time in the kitchens," Furuta said, a smirk crossing his lips.

 _Fuck_.

"I'd like you to keep that up," Furuta added. "In exchange for me promoting you to knighthood. I want you to work on rehabilitating the crown's image with the servants, because if we can rehabilitate it with the servants, it will spread to the common people. After the incident with the Fueguchis and the attack, the common people already doubt that we care to keep them safe. But to have a knight, a protege of Arima Kishou's, befriend the commoners within the palace walls and serve on the king's council in Arima's stead—well, that would certainly help matters."

Kaneki couldn't believe it. He was encouraging Kaneki's friendship with Touka and Hinami? But no. He saw a gleam in Furuta's eyes.

"And if you encounter any rumors, of course, you'd bring them to us," Furuta concluded, rubbing Kaneki's shoulder. "Do we have an accord?"

No one could refuse a king. Kaneki nodded.

"I don't trust him," Touka said when Kaneki told her. She stabbed a knife into a cutting board, leaving it standing up as she wrapped some bread to bring back to her room.

Irimi cringed. "Careful, Touka."

"If you ask me that king should be more concerned about his own nobles than us commoners," Nishiki said. "Kimi says they're all horrified by his spectacle yesterday. You'd think a bastard like him would want to weasel his way into their good graces, not blow apart every social custom, but he's clearly a special breed of slithery."

"Congratulations," Yoshimura told Kaneki.

Kaneki took a piece of bacon from Koma and crunched down onto it. Touka exchanged a glance with him. Clearly she hadn't told her coworkers what happened the night before. But something about Furuta didn't sit right with him either.

"I agree with you, Touka darling!" boomed a voice from the doorway. Touka snatched the frying pan. "Oh, relax, Touka, I have no desire to arrest you nor your brother."

Tsukiyama Shuu grinned at them all. He brushed a lock of blue hair from his cheek. "I couldn't help overhearing Ui Koori and Hirako Take discussing your promotion, _Sir_ Kaneki, and I simply had to find you and offer you my praise. You deserve it." He sauntered into the kitchen. In the doorway, Kanae von Rosewald, his shadow, scowled.

"What do you want?" Touka snarled.

"I want," Tsukiyama Shuu said, leaning his elbow on one of the counters, his cheek against his fist. "To help you, Kaneki Ken. You are more noble than any knight I've ever met."

Kanae's eyebrows shot up. Kaneki gulped. None of this made any sense. "But you hardly know me."

"I know it," Tsukiyama insisted. "No one would defend Fueguchi Hinami the way you did, Kaneki Ken. So few people are kind to commoners." He staggered towards him. "I want to help you wake up Arima Kishou. I want to help you—uncover what's going on with that bastard king. I don't trust him either."

"What are you talking about?" Touka hissed.

"I have ears," Tsukiyama declared. "Let me help you, Kaneki Ken, Kirishima. Let me sniff out anything suspicious on this king. Especially since. Well. I've heard he may be more involved in this witchcraft thing than you would think." A smile played with his lips. "You see, Furuta Nimura played with a girl I was friends with in childhood too. Kamishiro Rize. And his eccentricities are rumored, but not proven. Though, I could prove them for you."

 _Why is it always her?_ Kaneki glanced at Touka.

"No," interjected Yoshimura. "That _is_ treason."

 _She knew you, Yoshimura,_ Kaneki remembered. _The witch. How?_ "How would you prove them?" he asked instead.

"I couldn't tell you here," Tsukiyama sang. "Yoshimura disapproves."

"That I do," confirmed Yoshimura. Behind Tsukiyama's back, Kanae nodded his head as if he also disapproved. "You three are too young to be risking your necks like this. We've had worse kings, and we've survived."

"So that's your answer?" Touka demanded. "Just lower our heads and endure? The Fueguchis _didn't_ survive."

"Hinami did."

Touka scowled. She grabbed an apple and bit into it. With her other hand, she offered Kaneki one. He took it. It was sweet.

"Fine," Kaneki said to Tsukiyama, shame crawling hot across his face. Because he didn't want to let Yoshimura down, and yet... "But if you get caught, we never spoke." Not for his sake. For Touka's.

Tsukiyama bowed his head. "As you command, Sir Kaneki."

* * *

"You're so talented, Urie," gushed Higemaru Touma. Mutsuki smiled. The sun beat down on them, baking Mutsuki's skin under his shirt. His sword hung heavy from his waistband. The odor of rotting fish and salt hung in the air as they perused Aogiri.

"Search for the fortune tellers," the king had told them. "Rumor has it one is real."

But none of the commoners would speak to them. They all looked up at Mutsuki with wide eyes, trembling lips, terrified. Guilt from something he didn't understand pecked at him, like phantom birds.

"We should split up," Urie announced, wiping his forehead. Kaneki- _Sir_ Kaneki now-was cooped up in a council meeting. Urie had grumbled when Kaneki was appointed to the council, but Mutsuki thought he would do a good job. Kaneki was wise. And kind. "Higemaru, you're with Mutsuki and me. Saiko, mind Hsiao and Aura."

"Sure thing," Saiko chirped, already eyeing a candy vendor. Hsiao smiled indulgently. Aura kept his head low, hair cloaking his eyes.

"Do you think we really might find something?" Mutsuki whispered. "And wouldn't it be dangerous?"

"Probably." Urie cast him a sideways glance. "But don't worry, Mutsuki. You're lots better than you were. And I'm here."

"And we've seen you fence. It's incredible," Higemaru added. From a well-known family, the boy reminded Mutsuki of Ui Koori in his zeal for justice.

Mutsuki smiled at Urie. Urie turned away. Mutsuki's heart dropped into his stomach. He'd been having nightmare ever since the palace was attacked. He heard that rasping voice. _Which are you?_

Urie hadn't mentioned Mutsuki's body again, and somehow Mutsuki knew he wouldn't. It didn't matter to him.

"That person's selling weapons illegally," Urie said, pointing to a vendor with salmon hair. "Those are way too high end. They have to be stolen."

Mutsuki nodded. As they weaved their way through the crowd, Mutsuki's boot clomped on a damp shirt. He flinched. "I'm sorry."

A man with a curled goatee washed clothes in a tub of water, suds slopping over the side. "Not to worry," he said with a beaming smile. Mutsuki smiled back. He dug in his pocket for a few coins. "Since you'll have to wash it again."

"How kind of you," crooned a voice from next to him. Mutsuki whirled. A tiny girl with mint hair, wild like tangled grass, and glasses smirked at him. "For your kindness, you can select a charm." She gestured towards her necklaces, made of what appeared to be polished rocks.

"Oh—I—thank you," Mutsuki stuttered. Urie and Higemaru confronted the weapons vendor. He swallowed. "That's kind of you."

"What are squires doing in Aogiri?" wondered the woman. "Does it have to do with that attack? Horrible, it was."

Mutsuki nodded. "We're searching for fortune tellers."

"Everyone here tells fortunes," the woman replied. She leaned forward, jostling some of her charms. "Everyone here needs a promise, even a false one, of a better future. It depends on whether you believe them or not. Most don't know nor care to know whether it's made up, or far-fetched. There's no other recourse besides hope."

A child ran by, skin and bones, dress almost falling off her. Mutsuki met the woman's eyes. "Can you tell fortunes?"

"I say that whatever pendant you choose reveals something about who you are," the woman replied. "Does it? Or does it not? It's something you want, after all, so perhaps."

Mutsuki pondered the pendants again. One painted a deep purple, shaped like a diamond, glinted in the sunlight. It reminded him of Urie's eyes. "We heard there's a fortune teller who's real."

The woman snickered. "Again, depends on whom you ask."

Mutsuki reached for the pendant. "If I were to choose that one, what would it say about me?"

"Hm." The woman picks up the pendant and holds it up to Mutsuki's chest. "That you want healing. And that you can only be healed by prioritizing the person you love."

 _I… love?_ Mutsuki's thoughts felt encumbered by mud. _Kaneki_.

He could heal him? Of what?

 _No_ , Mutsuki told himself. _She even just admitted she's making it all up_.

"It seems she does have a permit," Urie grumbled, appearing beside Mutsuki. "What's going on?"

"Kind souls get gifts," chirped the woman. "So I suppose that means you get one too. Your armor can't disguise that softness, child."

Urie flinched. "Watch your mouth."

"Urie," hissed Mutsuki. "She's nice."

"I'm not," the woman confirmed. "Niceness is a luxury only people of your station can afford."

Urie's eyes landed on the pendant Mutsuki twisted between his fingers. A chicken clucked, running beside Mutsuki's legs. "Pretty."

"It means healing," Mutsuki said.

Urie frowned. "I'll pay for it."

"No need; it's a gift, for his kindness," the woman say, waving her hand.

Mutsuki's mind charged ahead. He would give it to Kaneki, to give to Arima. He could tell how much Arima's coma was affecting him. His shoulders seemed so heavy lately.

"Fine." Urie marched off without taking a gift.

"This one for him," said the woman, handing Mutsuki a green orb. "It shows his childlikeness."

Mutsuki thanked the woman and hurried after Urie and Higemaru. The pendant, cool, pressed into his palm. He held out the pendant, swinging it in Urie's face. It bopped Urie on the nose. He yelped.

"Sorry," said Mutsuki. "But you forgot to take your gift."

"What use do I have for a pendant?" Urie complained, but still, he took it, gloved fingers brushing Mutsuki's. "Thank you."

"What does that one mean?" Higemaru wanted to know.

Mutsuki sidestepped a dog scratching itself. "Inner childlikeness."

Urie snorted. "An insult, eh?"

"I don't think that's an insult," Mutsuki said. "I think it's a compliment."

Urie blinked. Mutsuki waved at Saiko, Hsiao, and Aura. Saiko dug into a bag of candies, Hsiao sheepish.

"Thank you," Kaneki said when Mutsuki tried to give him the pendant when they returned to the palace. "But I think you should keep it. We're going to find this witch. We'll save Arima, Mutsuki, don't worry." He patted Mutsuki's shoulder, heading to his bedroom and leaving Mutsuki standing there alone, the pendant sharp as it poked into his fingertip,

* * *

Akira let out her breath. The floral scent was almost overpowering. The sun burned hot as she sat on the stone bench, spiderwort twisted and tangled in front of her. Her ventures the past few days have all been for nothing.

_Why did you leave me?_

Was Takizawa really a traitor? He couldn't be, if Amon helped him. Akira hunched over. A bird tweeted above her.

Her chest ached. She needed to talk to them. Needed to hear from them. An explanation, at least. If Takizawa was a traitor, the least he could do was look her in the eyes as he admitted to it.

" _Why didn't you hesitate?" she demanded of Houji after the courtyard incident._

" _Why did you?" he returned. "I've been through this before, Mado Akira." She knew he spoke of Tatara, that rogue knight who abandoned his duties along with his brother. Houji was sent to hunt and kill them. He killed the brother, but Tatara was still out there. "You cannot hesitate."_

But those heads… his family. Akira had met them before. She hunched her shoulders, doubling over. A dandelion sprouted from the grass. She tore it up, tugged its yellow petals off one by one. No one had heard from Seina, his sister.

If they blackmailed him, he should have gotten over his stupid pride and asked Akira for help. She and Amon and her father would have helped. But now her father was dead, and Amon ran off, and she has no one to turn to.

 _Is it my fault? If he felt he could trust me, maybe this wouldn't have happened._ A lump grew in Akira's throat.

Akira closed her eyes, ripping the last few petals off of the dandelion. She twirled the stem between her fingers. _Amon, Father, where are you?_

A crunch jarred her out of her reverie. Akira's eyes snapped open. A brunette dressed in the plain clothes of a servant crouched by a bed of tulips at the based of the nearby fountain, gurgling. She fiddled with the dirt. A gardener, probably.

The girl looked over her shoulder. Akira's breath caught in her throat. _Fueguchi Hinami._

Hinami scrambled to her feet, dirt smearing her dress. "I was just—"

"I'm not going to hurt you," Akira snapped. "You're allowed to garden." She thought of her father. Her eyes pricked.

"Are you crying?" asked Hinami.

"What does it matter to you?" Akira swallowed. _Your parents were witches._ They had to have been.

 _No_. The raid, if anything, proved their innocence, and shattered her father's reputation after his death. Akira hated it. It wasn't fair.

"I come here to remember them," Hinami said, turning back to the fountain. She dipped her fingers in. "They shouldn't have died." Her voice broke.

The lump in Akira's throat grew jagged. "But my father should have?" she demanded.

Hinami's shoulders dropped. A canary landed on the edge of the fountain, tweeting at her. A smile crossed Hinami's lips.

_No._

_None of them should have._

"I'm sorry," Akira eked out. _He did wrong. He was wrong. But my father wasn't a murderer. He was a good man. A good knight. He raised me. I love him. He was right. I love him._

_Amon, Takizawa, where are you?_

She realized she'd approached Hinami without meaning to. Akira peered at her reflection in the fountain. The breeze sent ripples across her blond hair, the violet gown. And because of how Hinami stood, she was alone in her reflection.

_I'm too afraid._

Hinami stepped closer. Her reflection appeared next to Akira's. She said nothing.

"I love them," Akira said roughly. "Both of them. Amon, and Takizawa." Or maybe she didn't love them. Maybe she just loved their potential. She loved that to them she might mean something beyond just Mado's daughter, like she did to Kaneki Ken.

She'd never told her father about tutoring him, though Arima knew.

"I hope they escape," Hinami said. "I hope the guards don't find them." A note of defiance resonated in her voice, as if asking Akira whether she was going to accuse her of treason now.

Akira let out her breath. "I hope that too."

Hinami gave her a small smile. Fury welled up in Akira. _Why are you smiling at me? I don't deserve it. I'm not here to be pitied by you._

She thought of her mother, gone too soon, killed by a witch. "I want them all gone. The witch who did this."

"But Takizawa spared? And Amon?" Hinami questioned.

"If you're calling me a hypocrite, you might as well say it."

"I wasn't. I can't speak to a noble that way." Hinami's eyes, brown and soft, landed on Akira's.

Shame gnawed at her. A cloud passed over the sun. "It shouldn't be your responsibility to have to placate me. Not after what my father did to your parents."

Hinami blinked.

"I'll go," Akira decided. She hesitated. "Thank you, Hinami."

Hinami was a good person. And she was not. Akira climbed the stairs to Kaneki's tower. She knocked on his door.

"Yes?" Mutsuki Tooru answered the door.

"Is Kaneki in?" Akira questioned.

"He's in the kitchen again."

"Oh." Akira nodded. "Thank you." She cursed as she headed back down the stairs. She wanted to spar. She needed to do something to feel as if she wasn't useless, to forget the hollow emptiness filling her up. Her thoughts echoed, too loud.

Amon was so determined to live justly. If he defended Takizawa, he must be right. Akira gripped her wrist. But her father wasn't just in the end-not with the Fueguchis—and Amon, in the end, might be wrong too. She had heard stories of him being raised by a warlock.

_Stop it!_

_Why does it matter?_

Akira remembered her reflection in the shallow fountain. Just her.

 _I don't trust myself_. The only parts of herself she trusted were her father's intuition, which led him astray in the end. _I'm afraid._

Akira tested the weight of her sword in her hand. Heavy. But bearable.

_I'm so scared._


	9. VIII: The Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re not a knight anymore!” Takizawa shouted.

"I don't like him," Hairu declared.

Ui recoiled as they walked through the palace corridors together. "You shouldn't say such things!"

"Why not?" Hairu demanded, hopping. "I _don't l_ ike him. I think he's wretched. If he didn't look so much like Yoshitoki I'd think he orchestrated the whole thing, considering how well he's taken to being in power!"

"Keep your voice down!" Ui hissed. He grabbed her arm. "Don't say that!" He couldn't believe Hairu, of all people, would voice such potentially treasonous—

Hairu dropped her head. "Yes, sir."

She might as well have slapped him. Ui swallowed. He didn't like it when formality crept into Hairu's words. As much as he scolded her for her lack of propriety multiple times a day, when it vanishes it's like a cloud spilling shame over his head. "I'm just worried for you."

She scowled. Her eyes brightened as they reached Arima's chambers.

An enchanted sleep, according to Kanou. Even without water and food, the sleeping will live. He should be grateful.

"I wonder how aware he is of what's going on," Hairu whispered as they entered. The drapes were drawn, shrouding the room in shadows. Arima, the knight Ui always admired, the knight who trained him, whom Ui strove to be, lay on his bed, a red coverlet pulled up over his chest, his arms folded over his stomach.

On his very first day as Arima's squire, Arima arranged for him to fence Aura Kiyoko. It went poorly. Ui wound up nursing a twisted ankle, forehead and pride bruised. "Careful your pride doesn't trip you again next time, little boy," Kiyoko told him as he lay on the grass in one of the courtyards, gagging as he tried to regain his breath.

Ui had nodded, dragging himself to his feet. And he reminded himself that Arima had chosen him. Arima believed he had potential. And according to everyone, he had been living up to it, striving to be someone Arima could be proud of, and though Suzuya surpassed Ui in raw talent alone, Ui always felt he had his mentor's support even if not his praise, because praising people was simply something Arima didn't do.

It was wrong to see Arima so frail, so helpless. Guards stood outside his door, outside Shirazu's in the infirmary, outside Shinohara's.

_You were supposed to be strong._

Ui knew Arima would not approve of Furuta's antics. But he would capitulate, surely. Arima was obedient to a fault.

Hairu sniffled. Ui almost reached out to her. But he couldn't. It wouldn't be appropriate.

"Do you think he can hear us?" Hairu wondered, glancing at Ui.

He shook his head. "Well, maybe," he amended. "It is an enchanted sleep, after all. I'm not sure there's protocol for what they can or cannot hear."

"Kimi said it was possible," Hairu mused. She stepped closer to Arima. "Arima, it's Hairu. And Koori." Her voice trembled. "We miss you. We want you back." She leaned over, smoothing the blanket.

The air in the room felt stale. Ui blew out his breath.

"Koori," Hairu prompted. She jerked her head.

 _You want me to say something? But I don't know what to say_. Ui clenched his fists. "Wake up… soon. Wake up soon, Arima."

Hairu wandered along the four-poster bed. She wiped at her eyes.

"Hairu," Ui managed. "What—" _Why are you so attached to him? He didn't train you. He didn't raise you._

But he might not want to know the answer to that. Something cold and grainy spread through his chest, shivered down his spine. He remembered following his father around, watching as his parents planned their business. They were one of the wealthiest noble families in the kingdom. And yet when Ui wanted to be a knight, his father told him he had no reason to pursue such a career. He would take over his father's business.

And then the kingdom next door was overthrown, and Ui knew he needed to do it anyways. He spoke to Aura Kiyoko when she stayed with his family for a night, asked her to find him a knight to take him under his wing. She warned him very few would bite, would risk upsetting his father.

Arima bit. Arima chose him. And thanks to Arima's prestige, not even Ui's father dared refuse.

He hadn't been home to visit once, and they hadn't been to the palace to see him.

Hairu turned and stalked out of the room. Ui cursed, stumbling after her. She leaned back against one of the pillars in the hallway, gulping in air. Tears shone in her eyes. "I hate seeing him like that. But it's better than not seeing him at all."

Ui nodded. "It hurts."

"He helped me," Hairu said. "When I was a child. He was a squire, and I was—an orphan at the noble orphanage. He smiled at me."

Ui blinked. A simple smile?

_You were lonely._

Ui longed to put his hand on her shoulder. She shouldn't feel that way. That gnawing despair, thick sludge of misery, the dark, dank coffin—she was like the embodiment of life itself to Ui. Always smiling. Always focusing on improvement. For Arima.

And now Arima was unconscious, and Ui was here, but he couldn't move, and Hairu didn't see.

* * *

Urie dragged his hair back from his face. Another day combing the streets for any sign of a witch. He was beginning to wonder whether King Kichimura Whatever-His-Name-Was just wanted to keep them away from the palace. Though Kaneki said they were preoccupied planning for his coronation. And Kaneki had apparently suggested that commoners be invited to the masked ball, and the king agreed.

Urie had no problem with it, though he worried. What if someone used that as an opportunity to infiltrate the palace? He didn't want to lose anyone again. Not after Shirazu.

It was strange how much he missed the orange-haired boy.

_If I hadn't been so stupid, if I'd just gotten Mutsuki to the infirmary and come back, maybe I could've saved him._

It was his fault. So he would protect everyone else in his squad. He had to.

The peasants in the city recoiled in fear every time they saw them. Mothers grabbed children, ducking behind corners. Vendors stared at the cracked pavement in the poorest districts, hoping no one would inquire about where they got their wares, most likely. Even inviting them to the masked ball wouldn't be enough.

 _They're terrified._ Urie never wanted to be looked at like a potential monster. _And if the raid showed anything, they are also angry._

Today Suzuya and his new squires joined them. He had been knighted too, for his potential, and because without Shinohara, Abara, Nakarai, and the other squires had no one to lead them. Suzuya plucked at the threads lining his arm, his throat, his face.

"Have you been to visit Sir Shinohara?" queried Mutsuki, almost tripping over a loose cobblestone. Urie's hand shot out to catch him.

Mutsuki smiled, and something warm lit inside Urie's stomach. Probably heartburn from the spicy soup he ate for lunch.

Suzuya shook his head. "I went to see him the first day. I can't, though. Not after that. Abara goes for me. He says someone keeps leaving flowers for him."

Urie swallowed. "Does anyone know how Marude is doing?"

"He's still in the dungeons," stated Abara, eyes downcast. "I think Ui is insisting that if the king executes him, he'll lose support from the remaining knights and nobles, all of whom respect Marude."

"Hmph." Urie grunted. Saiko, Hsiao, and Higemaru ran ahead, chatting with a hairdresser. Aura dragged his feet behind them, with Nakarai and the rest.

"I don't," offered Suzuya. "Respect Marude. Not after all the shit he's said about me. But I don't respect the king either. I think he's a piece of shit who gives all bastards a bad name."

Urie practically choked on his own saliva. Suzuya ought to watch his tongue.

But he wasn't wrong.

Mutsuki gulped.

"But if he can make sure Shinohara wakes up," Suzuya said, looking up at the hazy sky. Smoke rises from a nearby building. "It will all be worth it. He took me in even after that horrible warden of the orphanage lied about me killing cats. And he got me put in the noble orphanage anyways."

"Lied?" Urie didn't understand.

"Yeah," said Suzuya. "Tokage. Bet he wasn't even sorry the plague took almost every child last year. Mutsuki and I met there."

"Oh." Urie glanced at Mutsuki. So his family was gone. Like Urie's. Except Urie's father died recently, and then he lived with friends.

But Mutsuki ducked his head as if he didn't want to discuss his family. Urie wondered if he should ask. No, probably not.

"Good to see you, Rei."

The voice, thick and gloppy, jarred Urie. He turned to see a heavyset woman, face painted, approaching.

"Stay away!" barked Abara, jumping in front of Suzuya with his sword out. Urie threw his arm in front of Mutsuki. _What's going on? Who is Rei?_

"I see," commented the woman. "So you're a puppet of the palace instead of mine now."

Urie understood then. The clouds finally fell over the sun. "Want me to arrest you for prostitution, bitch?" he snarled. Mutsuki's hand went to his waist, the hilt of his own blade. Ahead, Saiko, Hsiao, and Hige stopped, turning to face them.

"I heard about what happened to your master," crooned the woman, focusing on Suzuya, whose face grayed. "Poor soul. Why did you come to this part of town, if not to see me?"

"I never think about you anymore," Suzuya returned. "All you left me with are—scars."

The woman's face changed. And then Urie noticed. The streets were teeming with people, all of whom were watching. He swallowed. He couldn't even see Aura and the others anymore. Mutsuki met Urie's gaze, eyes wide.

The woman's face twisted. "I never loved—"

Urie thrust his sword at her throat. "Finish that sentence and I'll cut off your ugly head."

Abara covered Suzuya's ears. "You wouldn't have wanted to hear that."

"Urie!" hissed Mutsuki, glancing around. Panic scrabbled at his voice.

A chill ran down Urie's spine. He turned to see a rotten apple fly out. It smacked Urie in the temple. He yelped.

"Cunts!" shouted a face in the crowd, a face Urie couldn't even see. Hands reached out, grabbing for Mutsuki.

"Hell no!" Urie shouted, slashing with his sword. A hand fell to the ground. Mutsuki stumbled behind Urie. Screams echoed, and a surge of people lunged for Urie, for Mutsuki, for Abara.

"Get out of here!" Suzuya bellowed, withdrawing his sword. " _Retreat!"_

Mutsuki's sword surged past Urie, knocking a knife to the ground and a few fingers with it. Urie gagged. Someone clearly just almost decapitated him. A rock struck Mutsuki's temple, blood streaming. _Fuck!_

" _Lousy rich bastards, let's see how you like getting torn apart!"_

Higemaru screamed. Urie recognized the sound from his sessions training with the boy. Urie cut through two people, struggling to get to the boy. Hsiao—there she was. She grabbed Higemaru, hoisting his arms over her shoulders as she made for a back alley. Urie glanced over his shoulder. Aura and the others had vanished up the hill, heading for the horses. _Good_.

Mutsuki barely dodged a thrown knife, tripping to fall to his knees. He grabbed it and threw it back, skewering someone in the eye.

"I remember you," oozed a raspy voice. Urie turned to see a thin man looming over Mutsuki, grinning.

Urie whipped out his shield and thrust his sword at the man, who ducked. Urie wrapped an arm around Mutsuki's waist, hauling him to his feet. "Run with me!"

Mutsuki clung to him as Urie dragged him to the same alley Hsiao and Hige had disappeared down. Suzuya and Abara fought behind them. "The others—" wheezed Mutsuki.

"They'll make it!" Urie shouted. _You won't by yourself._ And Urie was not losing anyone else. _I promise you, Shirazu. We'll all be here when you wake up._

"Urie!" bellowed Hsiao. Two horses galloped towards him, Hsiao on one of them, and the other bare. Urie swung Mutsuki on first and himself on behind Mutsuki. "I sent Higemaru on ahead with Aura!"

"Good!" Urie shouted. "Yonebayashi?"

Hsiao's face paled. "She's not with Suzuya?"

Urie glanced over his shoulder at the surging crowd. He couldn't see her. No blue. No pigtails.

" _Saiko!"_ screamed Mutsuki.

* * *

"Back so soon?" Takizawa asked from where he lay on his back, shredding hay between his fingers.

Kurona scowled, kicking the door shut to the barn. "I saw that stupid squire of Shinohara's. Suzuya."

Amon pried himself away from the bale of hay. Every day Kurona or Takizawa went out and came back with bread or fruit and water or milk. Amon didn't know where they get it and he can't bring himself to ask.

"What's wrong with him?" Amon asked instead.

"What's not wrong with him?" snorted Takizawa. "Arrogant, out of control—"

"He laughed," Kurona said, dropping to the ground and curling her legs up against her chest. "He laughed when Nashiro died. All because that fucking doctor wouldn't help us—too scared of catching plague. At least that was his excuse, but it wasn't real. He just didn't care and Suzuya knew and he laughed. Nashiro was sick—Kanou used to take us into the infirmary before, told us we could become nurses—but when she got sick he said he didn't care anymore. And Suzuya laughed when they burned her body. I saw him watching." Her fist curled. "The only reason he wasn't a victim was because that lord had to take him in. I'm glad he's suffering now, in an enchanted sleep. Now he knows what it's like to lose something that important to you." She met Takizawa's eyes. "I'm glad you let the invaders into the palace, if only for that."

"Why?" Amon demanded, shifting. His leg had fallen asleep, dammit. "Why would that make you happy, that Takizawa's life is ruined?"

Takizawa tilted his head, looking at Amon. His mouth opened in a guffaw. "It can't get any worse. What's left to be afraid of? For either of us?"

Kurona snickered with him. Amon didn't understand. How could they turn their backs so flippantly? They were not bad people. Not like Donato had been. They were good. Just mistaken.

"I left," Kurona said, getting to her knees. "Because if I stayed, I would have attacked Suzuya. And they saw me punch him and wanted to punish me for it. You know the laws about attacking a squire."

Amon swallowed. "But you're an orphan—"

"Who just turned eighteen," Kurona mocked. "And the laws—you think they'd soften them for a nobody whose parents are dead? You think it'd matter?"

Amon rested his forehead against the straw. It scratched. It itched.

"You don't have to be here if you don't want to be," Takizawa said. "I mean, they'll probably take your head if you go back, but you've got more of a chance than either of us do."

"Stop with your pity party!" Amon snarled, glaring at his friend. The ground shook. Amon gulped. "You have it in you to—to redeem yourself! If we just—take down the witch, we'll be—"

"Drawn and quartered," Kurona said dryly. "No thanks. I like my limbs attached."

"They won't do that to a woman." Something smacked against the side of the barn.

"Do you want me to tell you what those guards _would_ do to a woman? Or at you actually that ignorant?"

Takizawa snorted. Kurona smirked.

Shouts echoed outside, and a scream. Hoofbeats.

Kurona scrambled to her feet, eyes flashing. "We gotta hide!"

"What's going on?" Amon demanded.

Takizawa inched towards the doorway, peering outside. "Riot. Hey, Kuro, Suzuya might get pulled limb from limb before we do."

"I'm not that lucky," Kurona returned.

Amon's jaw hung open. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah?" Takizawa looked at him.

Amon grabbed his sword and yanked his cape above his head.

"The fuck are you doing?" Takizawa yelped. Another crunch against the side of the barn. Kurona dove into one of the stalls to hide. Takizawa grabbed his own sword, retreating with Kurona.

"I'm not letting one of our former colleagues get torn apart!" Amon shouted. "I didn't let them hurt you, and I won't let them hurt him!" _Takizawa, why are you acting like this?_ His friend was no coward, and yet Takizawa believed he was.

Amon shoved the door to the barn open, sword in hand. A woman threw a mug of ale against his shoulder. It shattered. Amon cursed, worming his way through the crowd. He spotted two horses. Suzuya and Abara both galloped through the crowd.

"Well, here's one," came a voice. A man with long black hair and eyelids that looked as if they had been cut away stumbled, drool dripping from his lips.

A whimper cut through the useless feelings piling onto Amon. He turned to see someone with a ragged appearance towering over a girl with long blue pigtails. She gaped at him in terror.

Amon lunged. He brought the hilt of his sword down on the man's skull. He fell to the ground. Amon grabbed the girl's arm.

"Amon," she managed.

 _Yonebayashi._ Amon swung his cloak over her. Good thing she was so small. He ushered her into the barn. He probably shouldn't clue her in about Takizawa or Kurona's presence. "Wait here for a bit, until it quiets down. Then get back to the palace."

"You—saved me," she stammered. "I thought you were—a traitor. That's what they've been saying."

Amon shook his head, crouching down. "I'm not. They're—misinformed. Takizawa had the best of intentions—he was backed in a corner—his family—"

Saiko bit her lip. Her turquoise eyes filled with tears. "I believe you."

Amon let out his breath.

"I want to help," Saiko said. "How can I help? The new king—everything he does is scary. Everyone's afraid. He threw Marude into a cell."

A snort that sounded like Kurona came from the stall. Amon coughed. "Pig's back there."

Saiko nodded.

"Mado," Amon said, clutching Saiko's shoulders. "Akira. How—is she?"

Saiko blinked. "Akira's sad. She misses you. And Takizawa."

"Can you get a letter to her?" Amon asked. "You don't have to say it's from you. I just—I need to talk to her." If anyone could help, Akira would.

"I don't have parchment."

Amon swore. "Sorry." Neither did he.

"If you want to talk to her," Saiko said. "There's a masked ball in a week's time. I can help you sneak in. Commoners are invited—just dress like one of them. Steal some clothes."

Amon's throat closed. Sneaking into the palace itself would be a fool's errand. And stealing—he couldn't.

But Akira—if anyone could protect him, she could. She had her father's resolve and her father's intuition.

 _I just want to do the right thing._ When he joined that same orphanage, whispers followed him everywhere, rumors that he might be a witch. And Amon knew he wasn't, but he knew he might as well have been one. He would scrub his hands until they were raw, and Tokage would smack him for wasting soap. But he still felt them under his hands, cutting up the bodies to hide, felt the burlap sacks he used to throw them in the river. And then Donato would buy him a sweet.

_I killed for sugar._

He used knives and cleavers at first to threaten Amon into helping. " _See them?" he would say. "You could be next."_

But that was only once or twice. And then he stayed with Donato, because he had nowhere else to go.

" _What a waste. That kid's too far gone," one of the knights had commented after they found him._

" _I think you have potential," Mado told him, an uneven smile on his sagging lips._

_I'm not like that. I'll be better. I could spend my entire life trying to atone and I'd never make up for it_ _—but I have to try. I have to atone. I have to._

"Tell me you didn't agree to that foolhardy plan," Takizawa said when Saiko left under the cover of darkness. Amon walked her to the edge of the district, watched her steal a horse.

"I have to talk to Akira," Amon said. "She'll—"

"Are we talking about the same Akira?" Takizawa demanded. "What does it matter if you prove yourself better than me?"

"That's not what this is about at all!" Amon shouted. _Can't you see it? Can't you see my hands, how red they are? And we don't even have soap!_

"You're not a knight anymore!" Takizawa shouted. "And Kuro and I—we can't keep stealing for you, Oh Sir High-and-Mighty! You won't so much as lift a finger but you'll eat whatever we take, because we're clearly not cut from the same cloth as you are! We can sin, but _oh no_ , not even to survive would the valiant Amon Koutarou—"

"Shut up!" Amon bellowed. "Shut up, shut up!"

"Both of you, shut the fuck up," declared Kurona. She tossed an apple at Amon. "Eat. You can hate each other, but neither of you can survive out there on your own. I know that. You know that. Stop trying to sabotage yourselves because you somehow think getting caught will help make everything be all right. It won't make everything all right. It'll just make you dead." She bit into her apple.

"But I want to make it right," Amon insisted. "For all of us." His chest throbbed.

Kurona leaned her head back. "Good fucking luck."


	10. IX: Masked Masquerade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, you’re better at dancing than you are at fencing,” teased Urie. 
> 
> “You’re worse,” Mutsuki returned.

"I don't want to go to some stupid ball," Touka snapped. "I don't even have anything to wear. That's probably why that rotten king invited us. So he can have all the nobles laugh at us."

Hinami swallowed. She didn't have anything to wear either. But she had plucked a few flowers from the garden earlier that day and could weave them into her hair, and Touka's. She ran into a pink-haired lady who helped her pluck some of the tulips and roses, the daffodils and clovers. The lady had a mirror she was talking to and hid when she saw Hinami.

"Touka," Irimi said, voice dripping disapproval. She held a taffeta dress in deep mauve up. "It's time to have a little fun."

"I'm looking forward to escorting you all," teased Koma, appearing with a dapper vest on. "Any man tries to mess with my girls gets his ass kicked. Probably not by me."

Hinami wondered about Ayato. Would he have enough people to protect him if they were all gone? She supposed Yoshimura was staying.

"Excuse me?" called a voice.

Hinami peered up the staircase. A buxom woman with long red hair sauntered down them, her arms laden down with bags. She beamed at them. "Lady Touka and Lady Hinami, I presume?"

"That's me," Touka said, her eyes narrowing. "Us."

"I'm Itori," said the woman. "A friend of Yomo's. Also the official dressmaker here at the palace."

"I—" Hinami stammered.

"Tut, not to worry," said Itori, waving a gloved hand. "Lady Akira sent me and paid for your dresses."

Irimi grinned. Touka's jaw hung open.  _Akira?_ Hinami wondered. Was this her way of apologizing? A handkerchief to dab the blood. But it was better than nothing.

"In here," Itori said. "If this is your room." She kicked open the door to Touka's room. Hinami spotted Yomo leaning back against the corridor wall, a small smile on his lips.

Itori slammed the door shut and stripped them of their ash-smeared servant dresses, their aprons. She examined the clover pin in Hinami's hair. "You can keep that." She pulled out corsets, petticoats. Hinami cringed as Itori tightened the stays, but she left Hinami plenty of room to breath. And then Itori pulled out a soft yellow dress made of delicate silk. "For you, Hinami."

Hinami's eyes popped. "I can't possibly—"

"It's Akira's money, not yours," Itori assured her. "Arms up."

Hinami obeyed, and Itori slipped the dress over her. Hinami shook her head at Touka as Itori tied the garment.

"You look so beautiful," Touka told her, a catch in her voice.

Itori dug in another bag that she had thrown on the small bed Hinami and Touka shared by lying down in opposite directions each night. She pulled out a variety of lip paints, holding them against Hinami's face before selecting one. She ordered Hinami to close her eyes before smearing makeup over them, outlining them and dabbing rouge on her cheeks. Itori produced the shoes last, comfortable for Hinami, yet still stylish. She gulped. "What if people think we're nobles?"

Itori chortled as she helped Touka into her dress. "They better." She held Touka's hair away from her face. "Your hair needs to be fluffier."

"I'm not a poodle."

"Hinami, there are a pair of white gloves in the bag for you," Itori said, ignoring Touka's complaints as she worked on her hair. "There!" she proclaimed when she finished. "And now I must go get ready myself, to make a fashionably late entrance." She winked at them as she flitted out of the room.

"Do I look dumb?" Touka hissed.

"No," Hinami said. "You look like a princess." She wondered if she had time to slip into the backroom, show Ayato.

A knock sounded. "Your escort is here, Hinami!" called Koma. "And it's not me. I only have two arms, after all. Irimi and Touka are enough."

"Hm?" Hinami frowned.

The door swung open. Yomo stood there, hand on Ayato's shoulder. An indigo vest matched Ayato's hair, which was actually combed. His lips were pinched, eyes narrowed as if grumpy. But his mouth opened when he saw Hinami. Her heart pounded.

"It's a masked ball," Yomo said. "Itori gave me a mask Ayato can use. Everyone will be too preoccupied with the new king and the presence of many new commoners to notice Ayato." He handed Ayato a black mask that covered his mouth, though not his eyes. Hinami produced her mask, the one Itori gave her, gold in color. It covered her eyes.

Hinami nodded.

"Hold out your elbow," Yomo ordered Ayato, as if he was a parent. Ayato rolled his eyes but obeyed. Hinami took it.

"Are you comfortable with this?" she whispered as they headed down the hallway. "I don't want you to be-"

"I'm fine," he replied. "You look lovely."

Hinami glances down at the yellow silk. It rustled as she walked. "I wish my parents could have seen me."

Ayato paused, glancing down at her. "I think they can see you," he told her. "Always."

* * *

"Your mask looks scary," Saiko informed Kaneki.

He touched the leather. It was designed by Uta, the armor-maker. It was similar to Mutsuki's mask, though Mutsuki's was white and revealed his other eye.

"Saiko, that's rude," snapped Urie.

 _Since when do you care about rudeness_? Kaneki wondered. But he couldn't bring himself to say it. He was still so grateful they all made it back from the riot alive. With every day, he wanted to write to Hide about the insanity grasping the city, but he was too afraid to, and so his quill stayed dry. Tsukiyama promised to come through soon. The only person he felt he could trust left in the city was Touka.

The ballroom teemed with people, torches strung up high and candles in the arched windows. Kaneki swallowed. How was he going to find Touka? He spotted Nishiki, by a miracle, Kimi in his arms. The mask on his face couldn't disguise his hair color.

Across the room, on a staircase, he spotted a woman in an airy blue dress, her hair soft and wavy to her chin, a rabbit mask on her face. His feet carried him through the room, weaving through the crowd. Supposedly the courtyards were filled with people too, commoners and nobles alike.

He reached her after ten minutes. Sweat dampened his shirt as he looked up at her. She clutched the banister, eyes darting around as if uncomfortable.

"Touka," he said.

She glanced at him. "Nice mask."

"It's odd, I know," he allowed. "Yours is—you look-beautiful." It was the only word that popped into his mind. Once he said it he wanted to shrivel up and die.

Touka cocked her head. "Thank you."

"Do you want to dance?" he managed.

She nodded, taking his hand. Hers was small, but her grip strong. "Mado Akira sent us these dresses."

Kaneki's mouth fell open. "Wow."

"I don't know what to think about that," Touka said. "I wanted—her to—him to—I felt nothing when her father died." The guilt latching onto her voice betrayed her.

Kaneki's hand hovered over her shoulder blade before landing. They both stumbled through a waltz. Kaneki stepped on her toes. "Sorry."

"It's fine," she panted. Her arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer. "Yomo smuggled Ayato in for Hinami. In a mask, of course."

Kaneki's eyes searched the crowd. His heart picked up pace. He couldn't protect them if—

"They're in one of the courtyards. Thought it'd be safer," Touka said.

"Does he like her?" Kaneki ventured. An elbow poked into his side. He ignored it.

Touka shrugged. "He talks to her, which is more than he does for me."

"I think I might be able to get him a job as a stable boy," Kaneki said. "No one knows who he was—and he won't interact with many people who might recognize him working out there."

"Thank you." Her voice came soft. Her fingers tightened on his back. She was afraid. For Ayato. For what they're doing. And he was too.

_If I could just talk to Amon Koutarou and Takizawa Seidou…_

"Want to know a secret?" Touka asked abruptly.

"Hm?"

"I'm still sorry about what happened to her, but I'm glad you're not marrying Lady Rize."

Kaneki's stomach lurched. Touka giggled, a strange sound from her, but a sound that set his stomach aflame. He struggled to breathe. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? He spotted Kuroiwa Takeomi and Yoriko dancing nearby. If it happened for them—and the king wanted better relationships with the commoners—but why would she like him? She was strong and brave even when she was afraid, and he was none of those things.

"Good evening, subjects!" boomed a voice. Kaneki froze, still holding Touka. The king stood on a platform near the ceiling.  _How did they create that?_ A mask spelling out the word "party" covered his face. Kaneki blinked rapidly.  _What the hell?_

"Thank you for attending my inauguration," crooned Furuta. "Enjoy the celebration, and a new status for the relationships between the palace and commoners. I plan to open the gates each weekend."

"What's his game?" Touka hissed. "I don't trust him."

"And every commoner who attended, thank you," Furuta added. "When you depart the palace, please do us the honor of removing your masks, so we can record your name and our guards can remember your face as an honest commoner with no ties to the rabble who raided the palace or rioted last week."

 _Fuck_. Kaneki and Touka exchanged a glance. "Ayato lives here," he whispered. "He won't have to leave the palace."

Touka still squeezed his arm.

"Let's find them," Kaneki decided.

* * *

Akira adjusted her ruby dress. She peered out one of the windows in a corridor outside the great hall. Laughter filled the air, stemming from the courtyards, and she couldn't laugh. The loneliness crushed her from the inside out.

She spotted Kaneki, tugging a girl in a rabbit mask into one of the courtyards. The girl's blue dress looked familiar. Akira smiled. So Itori had come through. She was glad. It was the least she could do.

But in the grand scheme of it all, what did dresses and face paint do when someone's parents heads were reduced to skulls and the palace cheered at the sight of them? Akira tried to imagine people scoffing at her father's death. She wanted to hurl a stone at their imaginary faces.

A hand landed on her shoulder. Akira whirled. A tall stranger, robed in a dark cloak and wearing a clown mask with crosses for eyes stood there. "What do you want?" she demanded. Good thing she'd kept her dagger attached with a garter to to her thigh.

"Akira," hisses the voice. The mask lifted.

Akira slapped him with her glove. She yanked her gloves off and smacked him again. "You bastard! I'll scream. I'll scream and they'll come-"

"I'm not going to hurt you, Akira, you have to believe me!" His voice stayed low, but panic beset his features. He clutched her wrists. "Akira, please. Your father would never have—"

"Run away from the palace defending a traitor? Damn right," Akira snapped.

"Is that really what you think of Takizawa?"

Clanks echoed. Guards. Akira grabbed Amon and dragged him outside, onto one of the walkways. The damp air blew around them. Dove banners flapped. Her throat tightened. "No," she managed.  _I love him. I love you both._  "Tell me, Amon. Tell me it's not true. Tell me—"

"He believed he had no choice. His family was held—"

"You always have a choice!" Akira snarled. "Always, Amon Koutarou!"

His lips twitched. "Akira, something's not right. He wasn't involved with witchcraft—I haven't—I want to find who is. I want to rat them out, come back to here—where your father was—to you—to—"

"You think it'd be so easy?" Akira whispered. "Taking down a powerful witch and just—being welcomed back—"  _You're such a child._  And yet she felt like she did when looking in that fountain in the Sunlit Garden, when she saw her reflection.  _Please. I want it. Come back. All of you, come back._

"It'd be incredibly difficult," Amon replied, clutching the parapet. "But I have to try. Akira, I have to—you know about my upbringing, I'm sure you've heard. I have to—be better than that."

 _And I have to be as good as my father_. For a moment Akira thought about throwing her arms around him and saying to hell with it, to hell with her father, to hell with his warlock whatever he was, to tell with the palace, to hell with King Kichimura, and diving into—nothingness—with him. Making something from it.

She steeled her breath. "Is Takizawa all right?"

Amon nodded. The stars blinked behind him.

"Keep him safe," Akira requested.

"I had to see you," Amon told her. "I had to tell you—I didn't want you thinking—"

 _You came back for me._  Like her father used to come home every night, kiss her forehead as she pretended to be asleep when she really couldn't sleep until he was home. Akira's eyes watered. "How can I help?"

"I—"

More clanks. Akira grabbed Amon's face, dragging him down for a kiss. That way the guard wouldn't see his face. His lips tasted like salt. She pressed in, kissing him, waiting for the guard to leave—oh screw the guard.  _Don't leave me._

The guard finally left, and Amon broke free. His face, even in the night air, was visibly red.

"You have some lipstick on you," Akira drawled, leaning back against the parapet. Her pulse hammered in her throat.

Amon ducked, dabbing it away on his glove.

"How did you get in?" she wanted to know.

"Mask."

"How are you going to get out?"

Amon shook his head.

"I know a way," Akira said. "You can't get caught, Amon Koutarou. You and Takizawa—you have to prove it. Come back." Was it even possible for Takizawa?

She'd make it so. If they wanted to lash him, they could lash her in his place. She'd do it for her father.

Amon nodded. She pulled him down a tower, rushing him along the passageways leading away from one of the courtyards. She almost ran smack into Kaneki, Touka, Hinami, and a boy Akira didn't recognize. She froze.

Kaneki's gaze landed on Amon. Hers landed on the strange boy.

Kaneki nodded at her. She nodded back. Whoever that boy was—whatever he was—Kaneki had his reasons. Akira had hers. "We need to talk," Kaneki said to Amon. "W—I want to—"

"I'll tell Akira," Amon said in a low voice. Akira nodded, dragging Amon with her. They headed towards the armory, sinking lower in the castle. Akira grabbed a torch and used it to light the way. When they reached the small window that white-haired man used to climb in the night of the raid, she jerked her head.

"Meet me in three days time," Amon told her, clutching her shoulders. "Ask Yonebayashi Saiko where. A barn. She knows. She'll tell you. Kaneki too."

"Yonebayashi?" Akira's eyes widened.  _You saved her. The riot._

He slipped out the window, landing with a thud on the grass.

 _We're meeting again soon,_ Akira told herself.

The loneliness still gripped at her throat.

* * *

Ui frowned as he surveyed the ballroom. Hirako looked as if he wanted to be anywhere but here. "There are too many people."

"Ui," said Hirako. He jerked his head.

Draped in pink, Hairu led a group of three kids into the ballroom. One of them, with soft white hair and the same green eyes set in his face as Hairu's, gripped her hands and swung about, giggling. None of them were in masks, not even Hairu. But her back.

Wings sprouted from her costume, glittering a deep magenta. She looked like an angel.

"Close your mouth," Hirako hissed. Ui's face burned as he approached.

 _Who are these kids?_  Ui wondered. The dark haired boy grabbed a glass of punch and yelped when the lavender-haired girl knocked it over, spilling down a lady's mauve dress. "I'm sorry!"

"It's fine, don't worry about it," assured the woman, wearing a mask that looked like a black dog.

"Let me help you," Hirako said, offering her a handkerchief. Ui didn't recall her voice. A commoner, maybe?

"I'm Shio," chirped the boy with white hair. "This is Yusa, and this is Rikai. Want to dance, Rikai?"

"Me too," said Yusa. Shio grabbed their hands, dragging them out to dance.

"They're from the orphanage," Hairu replied. "Some of the few who survived the plague. I go a few times a week. Shio's my cousin. Yusa is Arima's."

Ui's eyes widened. He had no idea.  _Have I not been paying attention?_ Does she feel ignored? "What happened to their parents?"

"Their mothers were mistresses of the king's," Hairu replied. Her hands flew up to cover her mouth.

 _Wait_ _—what?_  Ui gaped at the three kids running wild on the dance floor. Hirako escorts the lady in a black dog mask onto the floor. Hairu holds her hand out to him. "Technically the gentleman is supposed to ask," he grumbled.

Hairu snickered. "Come on, Koori." She pulled him onto the dance floor, and she was in his arms. She smelled of gardenias and lilies. Ui's chest ached. Her waist was so small.

His mind whirled.  _Shio, Yusa, Rikai_ _—they're all bastards? Like Furuta?_  "Did Tsuneyoshi have other children?" he ventured.

Hairu drew closer to him, the satin of her gown smooth under his palm. "Probably," she said.

Ui wondered whether Furuta knew. Violins struck up an upbeat melody, and Hairu chortled. A childlike delight sprang to her eyes. It reminded Ui of one time when he felt that way, when his father gave him a sword to practice with, only his father never practiced with him. But back then, Ui felt hope, felt excitement, felt like the world could be good.

He wanted to protect that spark in Hairu. Brainless though it might be. It was beautiful. It was part of her.

Torches flickered. Her wings sparkled. She spun, dress flying around her. It flew too high. Her eyes, green, winked. Her hair floated like a cloud at sunrise.

_You're hope to me. You're sunrise._

"I'm better at dancing than you," she taunted.

Ui snorted. "You are."

Hairu blinked. And then a somberness flowed into her gaze. "I wish Arima were here. He would enjoy this."

Ui swallowed, the fire dulled inside him. "He'll wake up. I promise you, Hairu." His hand reached out to stroke her cheek.

She didn't meet his eyes.

* * *

"Where did he go?" lamented Shuu. His lip trembled as he searched the room for a sign of Kaneki Ken.

"I'm not sure," Kanae lied. She saw him slip out with Kirishima, but she didn't feel like mentioning it. Her purple vest and the whole get-up just made her feel uncomfortable, like she didn't belong. But Shuu made her feel like maybe she did, when he'd danced with her and Chie when they first arrived.

"Maybe he's annoyed you haven't found anything," Chie piped up. "On Furuta."

"Shut up!" Kanae hissed. "Do you want anyone to overhear us? It'd be your head too!"

Chie blinked. Shuu frowned. "It's fine, Kanae."

"It's not," Kanae returned. "Value your life a little more." Her face burned. Great, now she'd made Shuu mad at her. Tears blurred her vision.

"I couldn't find any enchanted objects when we broke into his chambers," Shuu mused, sipping a cup of wine. "Mm. Delicious."

 _Why do you have to do all this for Kaneki Ken?_ Kanae wanted to scream.  _You matter! Your family name matters! You have more value than just as Kaneki's peon!_  If she could shake Shuu, show him just how much he mattered to her, to his father, to Matsumae, she would. But she couldn't.

 _What I think doesn't matter. I'm a nobody._ A knight. A lie.

"I have an idea," Shuu said, leaning in. "But it's dangerous."

"Sounds exciting," Chie said. Kanae stepped on her toes. "Ow!"

"Sorry," Kanae fibbed.

Shuu ignored it. "I know Furuta went to Aogiri weeks before Kamishiro disappeared. What if he went to find the witch himself and hear his future told? He was stewing over Rize's almost betrothal to Kaneki. His working with Kaneki seems destined to backfire. If anyone's arrested leaving tonight, they'll blame Kaneki."

"Or Furuta himself," Kanae commented.

Shuu nodded. "I can't see why he would want to harm himself, though."

Kanae pinched her fingers together. The pricks from the thorns stabbed her.  _I do_.

"We need to find the witch," Shuu declared. "And pay her a visit. They may be colluding."

Shuu was quite possibly right, but Kanae would sooner die than see Shuu pay the witch a visit. Lord Mirumo would never forgive her, and she would never forgive herself if any harm came to her.

He taught her to read. He told her she could become the strongest knight he'd ever seen when everyone else laughed at her. He believed in her. And she—she believed in him.  _You're better than this mess. Your life deserves a better end than that. It doesn't deserve to end at all, not until you're old and asleep in your bed with someone who loves you beside you._

Shuu went to dance again. Kanae closed her eyes.

"Evening," said a voice beside her. She opened them to see a man with tattoos covering his body, half his hair shaved, leaning against the pillar. He ate from a bunch of grapes in his hand.

The mask maker. Uta. Kanae nodded at him.

"I couldn't help overhearing," said Uta. "And it's not as if you're the only few in this palace with suspicions about the king."

Ice flowed through Kanae's veins.

"Don't worry," Uta said. "I won't turn you in." He munched on another grape. "But I've heard rumors. The witch resides in a grove of willow trees in Aogiri. If you disguise yourself, I'm sure Tsukiyama could pay her a visit. I trust you'll tell your master what I've told you."

"How do I know you're not a trap?" Kanae managed. She'd skewer him if she had to, her own life be damned.

"You don't." Uta shrugged and pried himself away from the pillar. "Hey, Yomo!"

_Fuck._

* * *

"Well, you're better at dancing than you are at fencing," teased Urie.

"You're worse," Mutsuki returned. Urie snorted instead of getting angry. Mutsuki bit back a smile. Urie smelled of paint again. Mutsuki wondered what he was painting.

"My turn!" Saiko grabbed Mutsuki's arms. Urie danced with Hsiao next.

"Shirazu would have enjoyed this," Mutsuki said wistfully.

Saiko's eyes filled with tears. "He would have."

Across the room, Kaneki took that kitchen slut's arm and led her out of the room.  _Come back,_ Mutsuki wanted to call.  _I want to dance with you_ _—just one dance, just look at me, just talk to me, please!_

But he didn't so much as glance over his shoulder. Mutsuki's shoulders slumped. A suffocating blackness closed in around him.

"I have to go talk to a friend," Saiko said quickly.

"Who?" Mutsuki asked, but Saiko was already gone. Mutsuki sighed. He couldn't find Aura or Higemaru in the crowd, and Urie was still dancing with Hsiao, though Hsiao's gaze followed Saiko. Mutsuki moved out onto one of the outdoor walkways.

Tears stung his eyes. He knew he wasn't good enough for Kaneki. Why did it still hurt?

 _I thought you cared. You don't have to return my feelings. Just care._  He pressed the pendant in his pocket.

Love would heal him. The woman promised. Though even she said it might not be true. But if it could be…

Mutsuki couldn't fault commoners. He, too, would lap up any droplet of hope offered to him.

He loved Kaneki, so Kaneki had to heal him. Somehow.  _It will all be all right,_  he told himself.

But he couldn't guarantee it. Mutsuki kicked the stone parapet in frustration. He thought of Shirazu. If only Shirazu were here. He would like to see Saiko, all dressed up. Shirazu liked Saiko. Mutsuki could tell.

"Tooru?" ventured a voice. Mutsuki turned to see Hogi Ayumu approaching. "Just getting some air?"

Mutsuki nodded.

"Hachikawa escorted me here and then told me off," Hogi said.

Mutsuki blinked. "That's rude."

Hogi shrugged. "Yes. But if you have one good memory of a person, it's hard to hate them."

"I understand," Mutsuki whispered. The din from the party faded. He heard Kaneki's velvet voice. A cloud covered the moon.

Hogi let out a shriek. Mutsuki whirled. A dark figure grabbed Hogi by the neck, throwing her to the ground.

"Bastard!" Mutsuki yelled. And then the man looked up, haggard and grinning, saliva dripping from his lips. Fear clamped Mutsuki's chest. He saw another face there for a moment, felt as if water pushed its way into his lungs.

 _No._  Mutsuki yanked out the dagger Suzuya recommended they all pack with them after the riot.

"Tooru, was it?" crooned the man.

"Stay away," Mutsuki snarled. "Or I'll—kill you."  _Can I?_  He felt faint at the thought of blood. His stomach twisted.

"I love you, Tooru." The man moved closer. Mutsuki backed up until his back hit the wall of cold, damp stone.

_Love_ _—not you; it's not you!_

The man lunged. The clouds pulled back, revealing the moon. Mutsuki kicked the man in the chest. He grabbed Mutsuki's shoulder, throwing him to the ground. Mutsuki swing out. Blood splattered his face.

The man let out a groan, sinking to his knees. His hands went to his throat, but it was too late.

" _Stop, Tooru!"_

" _You deserve it, Tooru."_

His brother's voice. A memory.

The man dropped to the stone. Mutsuki's hands gripped the dagger. They shook.  _Dead_ _—is he dead?_

 _I'm a murderer!_ Mutsuki's stomach lurched. He gasped, clutching his knees. Air felt like daggers in his lungs.

"Might be a problem," interrupted a soft voice from behind Mutsuki. "The crown discovering a commoner was slain at the first ball of its kind. Maybe they'll make an example of you."

A dark figure emerged from the steps. Mutsuki saw Kaneki's face. And then he saw his father's. He felt water encase him. Water flowed up his arms. Water soaked his shirt.  _He scrabbled, fighting, fighting this time_ _—let me breathe, let me breathe dammit, I need air, I have to breathe!_

Mutsuki jerked back. He fell onto his ass. Hogi moaned, still unconscious. A thin man lay almost decapitated. And in front of Mutsuki another man—the mask maker—lay with a gash on his chest and a bruise already spreading across his forehead.

_I_ _—what? What did I do?_

He remembered an axe.  _I_ _—I killed my family._

_I killed the thin man._

_I attacked the mask maker._

Mutsuki ran.


	11. X: Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I know someone is hiding a traitor."

"I'll go later this week," Shuu decided. The afternoon sunlight filtered silvery and icy through the curtains, cutting at Kanae. He was really going to do this. The kingdom was already in an uproar over a commoner getting his throat slashed and a royal mask maker getting the shit kicked out of him at the ball. The king decided to warn everyone that he would certainly find and "strip the flesh from the back" of whomever had done it, but with Uta unconscious, Kanae doubted they'd ever find out who it was. And with the commoners murmuring about the king inviting them to a ball as a death trap... it was all so familiar.

_I can't lose my family again._

She clutched her goblet of wine. She could barely stand the bitter taste.  _He isn't worth it._  But Shuu was determined. She wanted to hurl the goblet against the wall, watch it splatter like blood.  _I can't let anything happen to you. I'd have nothing left. Shuu, Shuu, please!_

"My father is arriving next week," Shuu mused. "To swear fealty to the new king. I'll have to go beforehand."

"That's a foolish idea," Chie declared. Kanae nodded.

"I don't have an option," Shuu said, rising. He wandered over and poked one of the dying roses. Its red petals browned, it wilted on its stem. "I've got to come through for him."

"Why?" demanded Kanae, her voice pinched. She inhaled, setting the goblet down and clutching her knees. "He's not ranked above you. If anything you're ranked above him. He—"

"He matters to me, Kanae!" Shuu shouted. He leaned his forehead against the window. "Without him, I'm—I don't have—anything."

Chie and Kanae exchanged a look. "That's a lie," Chie said. "You have your exciting life."

Kanae glowered at the servant girl.  _You have us. You have_ me.  _Why can't you see that you're enough on your own? Why can't you see how smart, how talented, how wonderful you are on your own?_ If Shuu and Kaneki actually courted Kanae feared she'd see him slowly withering away into a shell of a human being. He'd lose the vibrancy that adds zest to the life of everyone around him. "Shuu."

"I need him," Shuu declared. His shoulders shook. "I need to—he's a way better person, a more interesting person, than I'll ever be. I need to—he's the only one I've ever felt a connection with, the only—"

 _What are we to you?_ Tears stung Kanae's eyes.  _I feel a connection to you. Does it not count? Does it not matter?_

_I know how you feel, Tsukiyama Shuu._

But if Shuu got caught, it would all be over. Kanae huddled in on herself.  _I just want to be loved._

_You just want to love._

A deep, black hatred for Kaneki Ken swelled in inside of her, clutching her throat with thick, clammy fingers. He had it all. He had so much. Why did he take Shuu just with—with what? His goodness?

_You're not good. You're a cowardly traitor._

Shuu was doing it for love. What was Kaneki even doing it for?

_I hate you._

But everyone loved Kaneki Ken. He was taking care of Nishio Nishiki, Kirishima Ayato, all those people, the squires in his service now since the king even gave him a promotion he didn't deserve. But as long as Kaneki Ken existed, he would drag Shuu along with him. Shuu wouldn't dare leave him.

" _Kanae?" Mirumo asked as she packed to depart for the capital. For a wedding._

Kanae snorted at the memory. She never thought they would wind up stuck here, the kingdom in turmoil.

" _Take care of Shuu," Mirumo requested. "I trust you, Kanae. You'll make sure he's okay."_

" _I'll protect him with my life," she said._

He was all she had left.

_Emma. Nathanael. Arunolt. Father._

Kanae grabbed her sword and departed the manor, striding into the streets. She rubbed her fingers together. The clouds covering the sky belied her mood. A headache formed, pressure building behind her eyes. Kanae pinched the bridge of her nose.

The palace allowed her through the gates. Kanae pushed her hair back from her face. Her heart hammered in her throat as she entered. She spotted those squires of his. The girl with the blue pigtails giggled, throwing her arms around a girl with long black hair. Kanae's heart ached. She squired alone. She never had someone to share the experience with, to laugh with, to practice with. But she was just a refugee who should be grateful to not have wound up in a whorehouse.

She was so selfish for wanting more. A lump grew in Kanae's throat.

Someone stumbled into her. Kanae flinched. Guards lined the walls, extra present since the attack the night before.

"Sorry," gasped Ihei Hairu. Her eyes were red and her nose swollen.

"Are you okay?" Kanae asked, wary.

She shrugged. "They wouldn't let me see Arima because that commoner got himself killed last night."

 _Arima's your Shuu. Your Kaneki._ Kanae bit her lip. "I'm sorry."

Hairu shrugged. "It's okay. I'll just go complain to Koori. Complaining is like music to his ears."

Kanae couldn't help but laugh. And Hairu's genteel manner gave her courage. "I need to speak to him as well."

"To Ko-Sir Ui?" Hairu asked, clapping a hand over her mouth.

Strange. Kanae didn't understand why Hairu called Ui by his first name if she clearly had feelings for Arima. "Yes. About—a potential threat to the kingdom. Something I overheard."

Hairu's eyes widened. She grabbed Kanae by her arm and pulled her through a maze of corridors and up a flight of stairs. She pounded on one of the doors.

It swung open. Ui peered out. "H-Ihei? And you?"

"Kanae von Rosewald," she answered, aware of her accent. Her face heated.

"He has important knight business to discuss," Hairu informed him. "I'll be waiting. They wouldn't let me see Arima again."

Ui's face dropped. "Hairu—Ihei—"

"Do I need to come back later?" Kanae asked, arching an eyebrow. Her heart pounded. If she didn't open her mouth now she might lose her nerve. And then Shuu—and then Shuu—

"No, no, it's all right." Ui tipped his head back. "Come in."

Kanae entered the small chambers. She sat on a plain wooden chair. Ui Koori sat across from her, frowning. He rubbed his forehead. "Is this about this business with Uta?"

"Possibly," she lied.

Kanae thought of Shuu. She was doing this for him, to save him. It was what Mirumo asked of her. "I know someone is hiding a traitor. One of the invaders from the palace raid has stayed here the entire time. He's in the palace's employ. Kaneki Ken found him a job as a stablehand."

* * *

Hinami's nose wrinkled as she stepped into the stable. Hay crunched under her shoes. Ayato stuck his head out from a stall. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see where you work," Hinami said. "And to bring you this." She held out a fruit tart. Yoshimura told her to give it to Ayato. And he gave her one for herself, too.

"Let's get out of the stables, then," Ayato said with a grimace. "The smell in here is hardly appetizing."

"How is it?" Hinami questioned as they stepped outside the stables. The palace walls rose high around them. She felt like she was in a cage, a cage living with the people who cheered at the deaths of her parents, cut off their heads like they were nothing, when they were people who tucked her in every night no matter where she lived.

"I've had better jobs than shoveling horse shit," Ayato responded, biting into the tart. He dropped on the lush green lawn. Hinami hesitated, and then took a seat beside him. "But it works. For now."

"Your arm's not giving you too much trouble?" she asked.

He shifted. "Nah."

"How're the other stable hands?" she asked.

"They exist. I'm not interested in getting to know them well, or in sticking around much though." Ayato took another bite. "It's good."

 _Not… what?_ A breeze ruffled the grass. Hinami plucked a clover and shredded it with her fingers. "Why not?"

"I've told you." Ayato dropped his voice. "I don't really believe in nobles and class divides. I want to turn the world inside out. I want to make a difference."

"I want to be strong," Hinami said.  _Don't leave me_. She remembered her parents.  _If I'd been stronger_ — _I could have fought them away. We could have escaped._ Touka would have. Kaneki would have. She hugged her knees to her chest. "What about your sister?"

"She's happy in her life. I'm happy in mine. Even if I can't go back to working with Eto right away. There are other things I can do—get back there eventually—"

 _You don't seem it._  Hinami swallowed. "What about Kaneki?"

"Eh. He's one of the good nobles." Ayato finished the pastry. "Most aren't though. He'd probably be willing to help eventually."

Hinami leaned forward, resting her chin on her knees. "I suppose."

"You could come with me," Ayato suggested.

Hinami blinked. She turned to stare at him.

His face reddened. He tugged at his earring. "I mean—we could use more people, always, and you'll have known the palace."

"I can't kill people," Hinami interrupted.

"You wouldn't have to." Ayato's eyes gleamed. "Hinami, you could do—you could—"

"I want to get out of here," she interrupted. "I can't—stand walking by people who laughed at their heads, the place where they were stuck… I don't even know what happened to their bodies. Probably burned." Hinami wiped at her eyes. "Sorry."

A hand landed on her shoulder. Hinami turned, expecting some grandiose speech on how this proved the crown was evil, but instead Ayato just sighed. "I'm sorry, Hina."

She nodded. "I'll go with you."

He blinked. "You will?"

She nodded again, gripping the folds of her skirt. "But you can't—tell anyone. Touka, or the others. Not until we leave." And she'd have to tell Kaneki. She wondered. Maybe they could get Kaneki to help, since he was already plotting against Furuta with Touka and Tsukiyama, though they wouldn't let her be in on the plot.

"It won't be until my arm heals completely," Ayato admitted.

Hinami ducked her face.  _Can I really do this?_ She thought of Kaneki, of him teaching her to read. A lump grew in her throat.

Ayato groaned and hoisted himself back to his feet. "Gotta get back to work." He glanced at her. "Have you ever ridden a horse?"

Hinami shook her head. "But we can't ride them. We're servants."

"You can at least see them," Ayato said.

"I've  _seen_  them, Ayato."

He tossed her a smirk. "You sure?"

Hinami's jaw dropped. She smacked his shoulder as they entered the barn.

To find a group of guards standing there talking to the other stablehands, Sir Ui Koori at the front of them. His hand gripped the hilt of his sword. And in his hand was crumpled a dark cape, with a red tree.

 _They found you._ Hinami froze. Ayato sucked in his breath.

 _I don't want to lose anyone anymore._ She saw the sword again, swinging towards her father, heard her mother's anguished cry.

She grabbed him by his injured arm, yanking him into the nearest stall.

"Get the fuck out of here!" Ayato hissed.

She shook her head.

"Are you stupid—"

"I have an idea," Hinami said. She remembered the rogue knights. A horse, huge and black, snorted next to her. "Get on the horse."

Ayato frowned. "You, too. We'll say I'm kidnapping you—I'll—"

Hinami inched towards the stall door. She shook her head. And then she ran, grabbing the stall doors, throwing them open. She ripped one of the torches down from the wall, throwing it onto a bushel of hay. The knights shouted, bellowing orders.

An arm wrapped around her waist. Ayato. Hoisting her up. But his arm was broken, and a white horse stampeded at her, and Hinami screamed, and she ducked to the side. The white horse kicked her in the abdomen. Hinami wheezed. She tumbled to the ground, knuckles raw.

" _Hinami!"_  screamed Ayato.

Smoke filled the air. She coughed, dragging herself to her knees. A hand descended, grabbing her neck. Ui Koori. Ayato's horse turned around as the smoke thickened.

"Get out or I'll never forgive you!" Hinami yelled.

" _Hinami!"_

Ui wrangled her out of the barn, throwing her to the side as horses raced about, whinnying, panicked. Hinami gagged, her ribs burning in agony. Broken, maybe.

"What the hell is going on?" shouted a voice. Kaneki's voice.

Hinami lifted her neck.  _Ayato?_

She couldn't see him.  _You better make it out the gate, Ayato_.

And a sword pointed to her throat. Hinami stared at it, the sun reflecting against it, glinting and blinding her gaze. "Move and I'll kill you," Ui told her.

"What?" yelled Kaneki, charging towards them. "Let her go!"

"Hinami!" shrieked Touka, on Kaneki's heels.

"She just helped your stablehand escape, you idiot!" bellowed Ui. He threw the cape at Kaneki, whose face drained. "Let's go. You're under arrest, Fueguchi." His fingers bruised Hinami's arm as he yanked her to her feet, dragging her towards the palace, towards the dungeons.

Touka made for them. Hinami shook her head. Kaneki grabbed Touka, holding her back.

 _Ayato_ —

_Live. Please live._

* * *

"This is terrible," breathed Shuu. "They've got to be watching him-—hat means he could be in danger!"

Chie's eyes bored into Kanae's back. Kanae turned away from the servant girl. Guilt gnawed at her. She hadn't planned on Hinami getting captured. Hinami was sweet. And because Hinami wanted to protect that boy—that's something Kanae could relate to. "I'm sure Hinami won't turn him in," Kanae managed.

Shuu cursed. "Now we'll all be under suspicion."

They wouldn't be, but Kanae couldn't tell him that. Ui Koori had seemed desperate to do anything that might help them find the witch, kill her to wake Arima up. Because Hairu loved Arima, and yet—Kanae could tell it was agonizing for Ui.  _Why would you do that?_

_Because you love her._

Tears pricked Kanae's eyes. She jabbed her thumb into the rose's thorns. Chie watched, but said nothing. Kanae sneered. "I'll go."

"Huh?" Shuu turned to her, eyes wide.

"I'll find the witch tonight," Kanae said. "You stay here. Matsumae and Chie—they'll be with you. I'll find her, I'll find out what we need to know. They won't pay attention to me leaving. I'm just a knight." A foreign nobody.

"But won't that be dangerous?" Shuu demanded.

 _Do you care?_ Kanae's heart lifted, and she could stab herself for it. "It'd be my honor to do it for you. Your father will be here in the morning, anyways. You should prepare for him."

Shuu's eyes glistened. He raced over and grabbed her in an embrace. Kanae inhaled. He smelled of cinnamon and lilies.

_For you. For you, the world._

"Don't get killed, Kanae," Chie told her before she left.

Kanae snorted. Chie would like that, wouldn't she?

 _No._  Kanae knew she was being unfair. She mounted her gray stallion and rode down towards the Aogiri district. Stars glittered above, the night air cold, vacant of any dampness. People milled about, raucous sniggering roaring from a tavern, the scent of alcohol overpowering. Kanae leaned down on the horse, remembering when Nathanael taught her how to ride, and Shuu tried to teach her, and she told him she already knew, and he grinned, and they raced horses together that afternoon.

This witch. She had to know something about Furuta. Though it was unlikely she could prove it.

Really, this was a fool's errand. Kanae gritted her teeth. She had enough gold in her pocket to satisfy the bitch though, so she shouldn't try to kill Kanae.

She made it towards the putrid slums of Aogiri. An infant squalled. The houses, the few that had windows, were all dark. Kanae hopped off her horse, leading the creature through the streets.

 _This is ridiculous._ Kanae tied the horse by the willow tree. Really, Kaneki should just go himself—he's such a buffoon, not to tell the entire palace that—

"You're out late," said a voice behind her.

Kanae jumped. She whirled to see a tiny creature, long mint hair spilling over her shoulders. The woman circled her, teeth bared.

"I have gold," Kanae said, holding up her pouch. "I'm not here to arrest you—only to ask you on behalf of Kaneki Ken—"

"I know why you're here, Kanae von Rosewald."

Kanae stiffened. The willow branches swayed in the breeze. Her teeth chattered. "How do you know who I am?"

"You'd be surprised what I know, Kanae." The woman stepped closer, reaching up for Kanae's face. "You're here to earn your master's love. It will never be yours."

Kanae flinched. "Shut up."  _She's just a witch; what does she know?_ Unless— _fuck, fuck, obviously she knows the future_ —

"You're under no obligation to love someone who doesn't love you back," the woman informed her. She tsked. "A shame, really. A beauty like you, wasting away your family name under the guise of—"

"I'm a knight!"

"Who's serving a family living on a remote manor, a family that doesn't even want you. You think Mirumo cared about you? If he did, why are you a servant? Your mother was a nobody to him, because the only one who ever mattered to him is his son, and only because he sees his son as an extension of himself. He's quite selfish, you see—even more so than the son—"

"Shut up!" Kanae screamed. "Shut up, shut up, shut  _up!"_

The woman cackled. It truly was funny to her, wasn't it?

"He cares!" Kanae bellowed. "Shuu—"

"You're nothing to him. And you won't be anything to anyone until you decide to stop being no one."

Rage coursed through her. Kanae lunged at her, sword rising to the woman's throat. Instantly the shrieks of blades being drawn echoed around her, and a twang cut the air. An arrow pierced her shoulder. Kanae cried out.

A man with a red mask strode towards her, eyes blazing. "You—"

Kanae ripped the arrow out of her shoulder. She'd felt worse pain. She aimed her sword.

Around her, a man in a dark cloak, a man in a white suit, and a woman with pink hair emerged. All kept weapons trained on her. Kanae gulped.  _Shuu_ — _I_ —

She turned to race back to the horse, but a knife flew through the air. Kanae yelped and ducked. It didn't hit her.

It cut the rope.

Her horse whinnied and took off. Kanae gasped.

"You're not going anywhere, Kanae," cooed the witch. "You're very selfish, you know. It's your fault you're here right now."

Kanae whirled. The crew closed in around her. Panic tore through her throat. "I have to get back to—"

"Someone who won't even blink if you're gone? In fact it might be a boon to him," said the witch. "This way Kaneki might comfort him. Or be your knight in shining armor."

Kanae lunged. The man with the red mask tore her sword away with his bare hand, kicking her legs out from under her. She gaped, winded.

"I'll help you, Kanae," the woman proclaimed. She crouched, hand caressing Kanae's chin. "I'll even send word to your master, telling him where to collect you if he so wishes. I wouldn't count on it, though. You've decided to be useless."

"You're going to kill me," Kanae gasped out.

The woman rose. "No." She smirked. "I haven't killed anyone."


	12. XI: Mirror, Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m not going to lose you, Hairu. I promise.

_Kanae too…_

Kaneki rested his head in his hands. Tsukiyama paced through the kitchen, wringing his hands. "Matsumae can't find him, or anyone who's seen him."

"Shit," Touka said, slamming a pile of dough down. Her eyes filled.

Hinami was in the dungeons, and they refused to let Kaneki see her. If he pressed again, they would get suspicious. Ayato's vanished like Amon and Seidou. Kanae… the witch? Thieves? Kaneki rubbed his temples. _I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do, and yet they look at me like I'm some kind of leader_ —

"My father's arriving today," Tsukiyama said, dropping onto a stool. They all occupied one of the back corners of the kitchen. Flour coated the tables, and Tsukiyama didn't seem to care that it smeared all over his overcoat. "And I can't—I don't know what to tell him. Kanae is my friend."

Chie frowned.

"Is there something we should know?" interrupted Irimi.

Touka blinked.

"Are you planning on breaking Hinami out?" asked Koma. "Because—"

The idea hadn't even occurred to Kaneki. It wasn't without appeal.

"We think Furuta is collaborating with the witch," said Touka.

Irimi's jaw dropped. Koma rubbed the pan he was drying, shaking his head. "Do you have proof?" Irimi questioned.

"That was what we wanted to get," Touka whispered.

"I was going to talk to the witch," Tsukiyama insisted. "Touka and Kaneki already did—but Kanae insisted on going in my stead—it's my fault!" He leapt to his feet. "I have to save him!"

"Kaneki and Touka?" Irimi's eyes focused on them. "It's true; Hirako told me that Furuta isn't exactly endearing himself to the nobles-"

"You've seen him again, eh?" asked Koma, arm descending to land on Irimi's shoulder. She rolled her eyes.

"Kaneki and Touka." Yoshimura stepped out of the backroom, face grave, a sack of rice in his arms. "What are they saying? You went to Aogiri to meet with a wanted-"

Touka crossed her arms. She glanced at Kaneki. His pulse hammered in his throat. "We met her. She let us go."

"You're honestly foolish," Yoshimura informed them.

"It was before Hinami—"

"That doesn't matter!" Yoshimura's voice rose. "You cannot—that was— _Touka_!"

"That's why I was going to go, and why Kanae went," Tsukiyama interrupted. "If we can bring down Furuta, Hinami will be free—"

"No, she won't be," Yoshimura barked. He set the rice down with a crash. "Think about it for a moment, Touka, Kaneki, Shuu. Hinami helped someone who participated in the assassination of—"

"So what, we should just _leave_ her there?" Touka demanded. She jumped back. Kaneki's stomach churned. He felt like he was going to vomit. He clutched the wooden table. A splinter jabbed into his finger.

"That's not what I—"

"You can talk a talk about what we should have done," Tsukiyama said. "But what is done is done. Kanae is my friend, and I—"

"Your friend whom you sent to talk to a witch known to drain the life out of their victims?" Yoshimura cut in. Tsukiyama flinched. His face drained. Chie lowered her head.

"You'd have us just sit here, wouldn't you?" Touka shot back. "Wait and tolerate everything they do to us?"

"You're starting to sound like that witch and her rebels," Yoshimura said, face red, strained. His lips trembled.

 _He's scared for us,_ Kaneki realized.

_I'm scared for us._

_I don't know what to do._

Irimi pressed her lips together. Koma hung his head.

"Excuse me?" Touka cried out. "That's my brother! My—I—" She turned and slammed her fist into the wall.

Kaneki lunged, grabbing her in his arms. She struggled. He held her. _Don't hurt yourself._ She kicked him in the shins and he gasped. _You missed him. And you just got him back, and you miss him again. It's okay._

She broke free and cursed.

"You need to be smart about it," Yoshimura said in anguish. "Touka—Kaneki—you have a privilege she doesn't have, but you also need to tread carefull—you—"

The door swung open, and Yomo entered. He froze. "Is something happening?"

"No," snapped Touka, and then she pushed past him and stormed out. Kaneki felt helpless. He cracked a knuckle.

"How is Uta, Yomo?" questioned Irimi.

"Feeling better," said Yomo. "Though he won't mention who attacked him."

"He doesn't remember?" Irimi questioned.

"That's what he says." Yomo set a sack of meat down.

Kaneki pushed past him and headed out into the narrow corridor. He knocked on Touka's door. She didn't answer. Kaneki gritted his teeth and cursed himself. He pushed it open.

Touka lay on her bed, curled in a fetal position, clutching a chain around her neck. "What are you doing here?"

Kaneki shrugged. "I wanted to make sure you were all right."

Touka pushed herself into a sitting position. "I can't let Hinami just be executed like that." At the very least Furuta had stated that there would be a trial. Not that Kaneki was expecting much of one. With Ui's sworn testimony, with so many eyewitnesses, there was no hope for Hinami unless she ratted them all out, which she wouldn't do.

_I could take the blame._

But no, Hinami would have to strike a deal for that, and he couldn't see her to tell her that, that it would be okay, that his life meant nothing if his loved ones had to suffer so. He wished he could speak to Hide about this, but letters were not safe, and Hide hadn't written to him since leaving the city anyways. Kaneki's heart ached. _Hide, I miss you._

"I won't," Kaneki managed. He'd get to her. He'd speak to her. It was probably too late to save Kanae. But Hinami—he had to.

There were interrogations scheduled. For Hinami. All he needed to do was find out who would be conducting them, and talk to them. _Blame me, Hinami. I'll lose my head._

As long as she would okay, Touka would be okay. If he didn't get to talk to Hide one last time, he'd give Touka a letter to give Hide, and a letter for her own.

_Because you make me feel wanted._

He took Touka's hand, and squeezed.

* * *

"Where is Kaneki?" Mutsuki emerged from his chamber, rubbing his head. Circles hung hunger his eyes. Since the maskmaker was attacked, Mutsuki's seemed scared, jumping at little things. Urie wanted to reassure him, but he didn't know how.

_I won't let anyone hurt you, Mutsuki. I'll catch whoever it was._

"Who knows," Urie said, pouring a cup of tea. He wished he could buy Mutsuki some chocolate or something. He looked as if he'd lost weight. Well, they'd all been on edge since the raid. He offered the tea to Mutsuki. He took it, staring vacantly towards the door. "Not like he's ever around," Urie added, gripping the handle on his cup.

"I miss him," Mutsuki admitted. "He was kind to us when we first—"

"He barely spoke to us."

Mutsuki said nothing. He stirred some sugar into his tea. Right, Mutsuki liked sweet things, of course he'd like sugar in his tea. Urie didn't. Shirazu once spiked Urie's tea with sugar and Urie spat it out.

_I miss him._

Saiko cried about Shirazu a lot. Urie couldn't bring himself to visit him, though Mutsuki had gone once. "If Shirazu wakes up, I wonder if Kaneki'd even care."

Mutsuki's shoulders stiffened. "He would. I believe that." He sipped his tea.

A knot formed in Urie's stomach. _I don't know what to do. It's all on me. All on me now._

"Urie?" ventured Mutsuki. "Do you think-Shirazu's in danger? From whoever cursed him? And they might-" He didn't finish.

The tea scalded the roof of Urie's mouth. "I won't let that happen. I promise you, Mutsuki. Shirazu _will_ wake up. I promise."

Mutsuki's eyes filled. He blinked them back and nodded.

"And if you're worried about what happened to Uta and that commoner," Urie added. "We'll find that monster and put them in the dungeons. If they're involved in treason we'll take off their head. I promise. They won't hurt you."

Mutsuki ducked his head. He nodded.

"Are you feeling okay?" Urie managed. _Dammit, why don't I know what to say?_

Mutsuki shrugged. "I'm glad you're wearing your pendant." A smile emerged. Urie pinched the pendant, cheeks burning.

What if the witch had targeted Mutsuki next? Urie had heard rumors that they could do that if they were close by. Fury surged in Urie. Mutsuki was good. Compassionate. Like no one he'd ever met.

Once Urie remembered throwing a fit and screaming, hoping his father wouldn't leave again. His father merely ignored him, and Urie eventually learned crying wouldn't bring him back. Because his father had a job to do and honor to uphold. Mutsuki held him. When he risked Mutsuki's life. _You're brave._

"I want to be stronger," Mutsuki said, staring out the window.

"Then I'll help you," Urie said. "We can fence. Later. I have to interrogate that bitch Ui arrested."

Mutsuki tossed him another smile. "Thanks, Urie."

He nodded. "I'm essentially the leader now that Kaneki's off—galavanting with that kitchen girl."

Mutsuki twisted his shirt. "You are."

"Don't worry," Urie said, hand on Mutsuki's shoulder. Mutsuki looked up at him, surprised. His face-his cute nose, his round eyes, those lips-was inches away. "You've got talent. Potential. Even Suzuya believes that." Urie pushed himself away from Mutsuki. He curled his hands. _I just touched his shoulder._

He mumbled an excuse and hurried out, heading down towards the dungeons. The air grew damp and dank. Mildew covered the walls and the sound of water dripping would drive Urie insane if he had to stay in here. Only a few torches lit the narrow corridors. The stone ceiling was low. Urie ducked as he stepped further. His boot landed in a small puddle and he cursed.

Tokage nodded at him, keys jangling as he grabbed a torch from the wall and lead him under a stone archway. A moan filled the air, coming from some prisoner behind Urie. He shivered.

Tokage unlocked the metal barred door to one small cell. The ceiling arched, and it was barely wide enough for Hinami to lie down. She wore a simple shift and no shoes, her hair mussed and dirt smearing her tear-stained cheeks.

"You're Kaneki's squire," she said the moment she saw Urie, who crouched low.

"I am," he replied. "And I'm here to interrogate you."

Hinami shook her head. "I don't know—I just didn't want the boy to get hurt—he was nice to me—"

"He was an invader."

"I didn't know that." She dropped her gaze. _Liar_. "Please, can I see—Kaneki? If I could just talk to him."

"He wants nothing to do with a traitor like you," Urie cut in. "Your parents. Tell the truth now. It might be the only way to save your head. The trial's in a fortnight; if you talk you might be able to-"

"They were not witches!" Hinami's cry echoed. _Wit-ches, wit-ches, wit-ches._

Urie frowned. "You understand why I find that hard to—"

"No," Hinami interrupted, wrapping her arms around her legs. "I don't. You're always suspicious; maybe that's why people don't like you nobles. I don't care how you treat us though—all I wanted—all my parents wanted—was to _live_ , and you—" A sob tore from her throat.

"I'm not feeling sorry for you," Urie said coldly. _Shirazu. You helped him suffer_.

Hinami leaned against the stone wall, crying. Her shoulders shook.

"There has to be someone in the palace," Urie said. "Someone high up. Who's working with the witch. We know you couldn't have done it on your own, Hinami." She probably could have. But it made more sense for—

She sniffled. "The other kitchen workers—Kaneki—they had nothing, they knew nothing—"

"I didn't think they did," Urie cut in. "Kaneki's many things, but he's no traitor." But she mentioned him…

"That girl," said Hinami. "I saw her. In the garden. She had a mirror she was using to view Arima."

 _To drain his life!_ A magic mirror— _could you do that through a mirror?_ Urie didn't see why not. "Who?"

"She had pink hair," said Hinami.

* * *

"If she had anything to do with what happened to Arima, I hope she suffers," Hairu declared.

Ui swallowed. The venom in Hairu's voice—it reflected his own fury. At Fueguchi, at the situation, at himself because a part of him wanted to wake Arima up just so Hairu would see how much he cared about her. "She will," he affirmed.

Hairu paused by a bush of soft pink flowers. She plucked one and tucked it behind her ear, winking at him. "How does it look?"

"Arima would surely find it beautiful," Ui said stiffly.

"But what do _you_ think, silly?" The sun streamed down on her, casting her in an angelic light. The Sunlit Gardens were beautiful today, green and vibrant, floral fragrances mingling in the air.

"I think you look lovely," Ui said.

"Good." Hairu grabbed another flower and approached, slipping it behind his ear. She dissolved into giggles.

Ui crossed his arms and scowled.

" _You_ look lovely," Hairu cooed. "Ui Koori, the fair maiden—"

"Hey!" He grabbed her arm. She squirmed away from him, chortling. A flock of birds flew overhead.

Hairu ran through the garden, smirking over her shoulder. Ui rolled his eyes and gave chase. "You're acting like such a child!" he yelled. Well, fine. He stopped running, crossing his arms again.

A pebble struck his temple. Ui yelped. "That hurts!"

Hairu's face popped up from behind a thick hedge. "Then play with me, idiot!"

"We're not children!"

Hairu stood. She swept her arms out and twirled around, her teal skirts swirling around her in a cloud. "I used to play here as a kid. I loved it. I met Arima here."

"Careful or you'll get dizzy!"

She stumbled, and Ui lunged to catch her. She grinned up at him. A somber look faded onto her face. "Arima smiled at me over by those bushes," Hairu said, pointing. "No one else ever did."

 _Huh?_ Ui frowned. He knew her parents died young, but—

Hairu spotted a tulip and broke away from him to pluck it. She pulled off the petals one at a time, dropping them in the fountain. "I'm too scared to walk here at night anymore. After what happened to Rize."

Ui nodded. "That's smart."

"I wasn't very nice to her," said Hairu. "I should have been. Neither of us had parents, you know." The yellow petals fluttered down, floating atop the water.

"I heard rumors she was illegitimate," Ui said.

Hairu knelt, picking up a pebble and skipping it across the surface. "So am I."

Ui's eyes bugged. He had-shit. "I didn't mean—there's nothing wrong with that. It's a stupid stigma—you can't help how you were born."

Hairu peered up at him, her green eyes soft. "Thanks, Koori." She got to her feet and frowned, shading her eyes. "What's that?"

"What's what?" Ui asked, peering down into the fountain. Hairu pointed, but all he could see was a stone basin, huge and with—

Hands landed against his back. Ui flailed. The water flew towards him, splashing his face. The stone bottom ground into his chin. He gasped, pushing himself up in the middle of the fountain.

Hairu's mouth hung open. "I didn't actually mean for you to fall!"

Ui spat out a mountain of bitter water. He blinked up at her, sodden strands of hair covering his face. He held out his hand.

She gingerly reached over to help him up. Ui yanked before his better judgement could overrule him. Hairu shrieked, toppling into the fountain. And then she crowed with laughter, splashing his face. He yelped, scrambling to escape the fountain.

_I wish we could laugh like this all the time._

Ui escorted her back to the Kuroiwas' chambers, both of them dripping water across the stone steps. Ui kept his head down, hoping no one spotted him looking like this. Hairu wrung her hair out, still chortling. She plucked the soaked flower from behind his ear. His face heated even as his teeth chattered.

"There you are!"

Ui looked up, heart pounding. Hirako rushed towards him. Takeomi and his betrothed, Yoriko, stood nearby, both of them pale.

"What's happening?" Ui demanded.

"They're searching our place," whispered Takeomi. "Hairu—I don't understand why—it's like they think they'll find something—like they think we're traitors or—" Yoriko clutched his arm.

Ui glanced at Hirako. He nodded. "Stay here," Ui ordered Hairu. Hirako's eyes darted back and forth from a sodden Hairu to a sodden Ui, but of course, his lips didn't so much as curl.

Ui pushed his way into the Kuroiwas' quarters. Urie Kuki glanced at him, Mutsuki Tooru beside him.

"What's the meaning of this?" Ui asked. "You—"

"Fueguchi told us your lady was seen with a magic mirror," Urie informed him.

"She's not _my_ lady!" Ui shot back. "And that's complete bullshit, and an insult! To Hairu, to the Kuroiwas, to—"

"I found this, Urie," interrupted a boy with dark hair hanging over his eyes. Aura Kiyoko's nephew. Shinsanpei. He held up a handheld mirror, silver, engraved with flowers.

"So what?" Ui barked. "Lots of people have mirrors!"

"It's true," Hsiao cut in. Ui glanced at her, grateful. "Hairu is _—as_ I've been saying, I know her, Urie. She's no witch. She's magical, but only in her kindness."

"I believe Hsiao," declared Saiko.

"Well, there's one way to find out," said Higemaru, snorting as if this was some kind of laughable matter. "Show us Arima, mirror!"

Urie held the mirror aloft. It glinted, sunlight flowing through the window and bathing the room and its ornate, velvet-covered furniture with golden light.

Nothing happened. The only reflection Ui saw in it was his own, and Saiko and Hsiao's.

"See?" Ui snapped. "Now give Hairu her mirror back and apologize to—"

Mutsuki shrieked. Ui jumped. The mirror began to glow. A face appeared in it, wavering. Arima's face, cheeks sunken, skin gray from the enchanted sleep.

"I'm sure there's an explanation!" Hsiao cried out. She glanced at Saiko, her eyes narrowed.

"Me too!" Saiko insisted, but weakly.

"Mutsuki, Aura," commanded Urie. They turned on his command, heading out the door.

"What are you doing?" Ui yelled. He raced towards the door after Mutsuki and Aura. He froze. They grabbed Hairu.

"What's happening?" Hairu cried out.

"Someone must have planted it!" Ui bellowed. "You can't—"

"Is this about the mirror?" Hairu yelled. Aura held her arms. Mutsuki put a sword to her throat. "Someone gave it to me! I used it to watch Arima—I didn't do anything wrong! Koori!" She turned to him, tears streaming down her face. "You have to believe me! I didn't—a vendor gave it to me years ago—I was twelve or thirteen—"

Ui lunged. Hirako grabbed him, holding him back. Ui struggled. "Let her go! She didn't do anything! She said—"

"Magical items are still illegal," another voice said. Ui turned to see Suzuya there, a deep scowl on his face.

Suzuya. Of all people, he should understand. Ui stiffened. Hirako released him."I want Arima to wake up just as much as you want Shinohara to," Ui told him. "But she's-arresting Hairu is—not going to—surely you understand wanting to see—"

"I can't care, not if I want Shinohara to wake up." Suzuya's brow creased. He sucked in his breath, squeezing his fists. "Take her to the cells."

"You know me, Juuzou!" Hairu cried out. "I gave you sweets! I—"

He clamped his hands over his ears like a child terrified of being yelled at, turning on his heel. He ran. Hanbee cussed and ran after him. Mutsuki swallowed. Aura's eyes darted around. The prick just wanted revenge for what happened to Kiyoko—he didn't care if an innocent got hurt. Some justice he was representing. Ui could spit at him.

"I didn't use it for anything wrong—I know it looks bad, but I swear it! Koori—please—" Her eyes find his, streaming jade, desperate.

"Let her go!" Ui yelled. Yoriko cried into Takeomi's shoulder. "I believe you, Hairu, I believe you!"

"Weren't you part of passing these laws years ago?" demanded Urie. "Take her away."

Panic dug its nails into him, cold and bitter. Ui gagged. Of course he was but it was only to protect the kingdom from— _stop!_

So what if she was a fool for keeping that? She's brainless but harmless an—no, she's good, she's got a good heart, and she's talented and smart and too good, too big-hearted for her own good. "I'll talk to the king!" eked out Ui. "I promise, Hairu." _I won't let you stay there for long._ "Trust me—you won't have to suffer." He met her eyes. "Promise."

"This isn't right!" Hairu eked out.

"I'll fix it," he insisted.

Hairu dropped her head, shoulders shaking. Mutsuki and Aura led her away, and she walked with them. A sob cracked through the air.

U's chest felt numb. Because he saw in her eyes. She didn't believe him. She didn't think he would come through.

_I'm not going to lose you, Hairu. I promise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi readers!
> 
> I'm just letting you know that unfortunately this fic will be going on a (brief) hiatus because I will be traveling to India over the next twelve days! I'm already almost finished writing it so no worries about it being abandoned unless, like, I get hit by a bus, but I won't reliably have internet access to post it. The next update will be on Wednesday, March 7.


	13. XII: Toppling One by One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His hand clasped Ui’s shoulder. “It’s all on you, Sir Ui Koori."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaack! Updates will proceed as normal from here on out, 3 time a week!

"You have a request?" asked Furuta, slouching in his throne again. He kicked his legs up, resting his chin on his fist. Torches flickered in the darkening room.

Ui swallowed. "Hairu's innocent."

"Oh?" Furuta straightened. He smoothed his britches. "Funny. I'd heard she was found with evidence on hand. Tokage will try to get her to talk—I'm sure she's not actually a witch, but she might be in league with—"

"No," Ui interrupted. He did not want Tokage near Hairu. "She was—she can be brainless, she doesn't think things through sometimes, she very much believed she could see Arima's face—that's all she would have wanted. I'd stake my life on it!" _Take me. Take me, and inflict whatever punishment you'd have inflicted on her on me_. He gritted his teeth, clenching his fists so tightly his nails dug into his palms. "Please." _I'll beg. I'll do anything, anything._

"Really?" cooed Furuta, rising. He turned to his guards. "Leave us."

"That's not a wise idea, king," one said.

"I don't give a fuck," Furuta snapped. "I am your king. You do what I say. That's how this works."

The guards shuffled out, armor clinking. Furuta descended from his throne and wrapped an arm around Ui's shoulders, hauling him towards the windows overlooking the palace.

 _This is highly improper._ Ui stiffened.

"I lost someone I loved to this conflict too," Furuta said, removing his arm. He ran his gloved hands along the edge of the windowsill.

"Your family," Ui stated.

Furuta threw his head back, laughs ripping from him. "They didn't even know me. They didn't even _look_ at me. No, I was talking about Kamishiro Rize."

Ui's eyes widened. His jaw dropped. "I—she was—"

"Betrothed to Kaneki Ken," Furuta confirmed. "Or about to be." He leaned forward, brow furrowing as he studied the servants and guards milling about on a walkway below. "I loved her. I still love her."

Ui swallowed.

"You love Ihei Hairu, but she's been caught with evidence that suggests she's a conspirator."

"I don't!" Ui protested.

Furuta turned over his shoulder and flicked Ui's hair. "Don't let the lady hear you say that, Ui Koori."

He shook his head wildly. He felt exposed, naked, raw. "I don't—she loves _Arima_. Not me." The name came out bitter, harsh.

"I don't know," Furuta mused. "I think you underestimate yourself. Such as, for example, if you are able to prove her innocence."

Ui gaped at him. "How?" he managed. "How do I do that?"

"Find out who really is working the witch, of course," Furuta proclaimed, hauling himself onto the windowsill and swinging his legs. "Talk to Fueguchi. I promise you, Ui Koori, I'll be merciful when her trial comes next week, but I can hardly be _too_ merciful if it looks like she is guilty." His hand clasped Ui's shoulder. "It's all on you, Sir Ui Koori. Win the fair maiden's heart. Give me what I need to set her free immediately with a full pardon."

 _All on me… what if I'm not enough?_ Ui's breath scraped his throat. He was never enough. Not for Hairu. Not for Arima. Not for his parents. And now Hairu's life depended on him.

Furuta waved his hand. "Be off with you now, or whatever kings say."

Was this just a joke to Furuta? A game? This was Hairu's _life_. Ui gulped. He turned and stalked out. The moment he was alone in the narrow corridor, he doubled over and clutched his knees, trying to inhale slowly, evenly. _I have to save her._

" _Why are you so serious all the time, Koori?" Hairu taunted, her pink hair flying about her face as she leaned over on her horse. "I bet I can beat you racing."_

" _The point of horseback riding is to be relaxing, for me," Ui snapped. Relaxing, because his family was ignoring his letters, and he didn't expect anything from them, and yet he worked so hard that his palms were throbbing from ruptured blisters from practicing fencing constantly._

_Hairu rolled her eyes and took off. "Bet I can beat you!" she hollered again._

_And he gave chase, but couldn't catch her. "You know it's the horse's achievement and not yours," he'd groused._

" _Ooh, Koori's a sore loser," Hairu mocked._

He thought of Hairu's story, how stupid it seemed to him to fall so hard for someone who just smiled at her. And somehow, he thought he might understand.

 _But for me, it's you, Hairu. You laughed at me. You impressed me. You are the child in adulthood I never got to be in childhood. You are_ — _I love you. I do. I need you. Even if you don't choose me in the end. I want to save you._

Ui steeled his jaw. He stalked through the palace, down towards the dungeons.

"You're not allowed," Haisaki told him, grinning through his gapped teeth. "Your friendship with Lady Ihei means that you're a risk."

 _Are you assuming I'd betray the crown? That's insulting._ "I want to talk to Fueguchi," Ui said. "Not Ihei."

"Still not allowed," Haisaki said, spitting onto the ground. "Sorry."

_You're not sorry at all._

He marched back up the stairs. If he had to break down the door, he would get Furuta to give him permission and—

"Sir Ui?"

He turned to see one of those new squires of Kaneki Ken's, Aura Shinsanpei, standing there. If it was one of the other two Ui wouldn't have given them the time of day, but he knew Aura's aunt. Still recovering from the loss of her legs, she was improving every day. He nodded at him. "Hello."

Aura hung his head, his voice muffled. "Mutsuki told me I should talk to you instead of to—well. It's about the witch. I need this bitch caught. What she did to my aunt—"

"It's horrible," Ui cut in. "And Hairu did not—"

"None of us believe Hairu had anything to do with it," Aura cut in, lifting his face to meet Ui's. "We _had_ to arrest her, Urie said so, since we found evidence, but—even Urie said afterwards how it didn't make sense. Hsiao and Saiko are distraught, both crying." He hesitated. "Does the person who's working from inside the palace have to actually live at the palace?"

Ui blinked. "That is kind of the point, yeah."

Aura shifted. His hair covered his eyes and he lowered his head like a pauper.

"Do you have something to tell me?" Ui interrupted. _Or are you just being an inconvenience?_

"Mutsuki and I overheard Tsukiyama Shuu telling Kaneki Ken that one of his knights, the one who always hangs around him, has gone missing and they believe he was taken by the witch, but I don't know why," Aura blurted out.

Ui stiffened. If that was so, the Tsukiyamas didn't report it.

"And also, Tsukiyama hangs around the kitchen a lot, where Fueguchi used to work," Aura added. "With that Kirishima."

Ui bit his lip. If Aura was implying Kaneki Ken was involved, that would—explain why that letter knew every single minute of Arima's daily routine. And yet, Ui wasn't willing to buy that Kaneki was a traitor. But Tsukiyama… if his knight was missing… why hadn't they brought it up?

_I need to find someone. To save Hairu._

"Thank you," Ui said.

Aura nodded. "I have to catch—whoever did this. For my aunt's sake. She would have already caught whomever it was—she leaves no stone unturned."

 _Calm down,_ Ui thought. But he nodded. "We will catch them." Soon. This week. He had to.

He had to do the right thing.

Save Hairu.

Find the culprit.

All together, right?

Ui couldn't take the risk of not acting. He arranged for spies. He needed to discern the truth and it didn't matter whether or not he was using an ethical method or that he'd always condemned spies.

When a spy returned a day later to tell Ui that Tsukiyama Shuu had been seen returning from the Aogiri district bemoaning that "he's gone," it was all Ui needed. Hearsay, yes, but hearsay was better than grasping into the wind. Suzuya and Kaneki's squires would back him, surely. And Hirako.

"Don't you think you're being hasty?" Hirako asked instead. "His father's only just arrived in the city and is one of the wealthiest men in the kingdom—maybe you'd do well to speak to both of them, see if there isn't a rationale explanation—"

 _Hairu's life is on the line! She's already been in that prison for two days!_ Ui scowled. "Why else would the heir to such a massive fortune venture down into Aogiri?"

Hirako lifted his shoulders. "Ui, I—"

"We're going," Ui declared. "Don't tell Kaneki Ken."

* * *

Ayato woke to the sound of hoofbeats outside. He propped himself up from the pile of trash he was sleeping on. He'd been scavenging for food, stealing when need be, and thinking of Hinami.

They must have arrested her. But surely Kaneki could free her, couldn't he? The man had enough clout. Ayato scowled. He didn't know why he cared so much. She was no one important. She just saved his life because she was weak.

The smell of horse shit, fresh, hit his nostrils. Ayato cringed. Hinami was the strongest person he knew. Even though she didn't believe it. She didn't need to.

But he heard a familiar voice. A voice filled with fire and ice. "It's this way."

"I don't see why we have to do this," whined Naki's voice. Ayato covered his mouth. _Are they here for me?_ Touka had told him Eto's threat.

"Because Eto ordered it," Miza's voice said, dull. "And Eto said we are to create chaos. The moment they see us there, they'll assume the Tsukiyamas are guilty."

"They don't even work for us," snapped a small voice. That girl. The grave robber. Hakatori. Ayato didn't remember her real name and didn't care.

"The sooner the tables turn on another noble family, the better," said Tatara's voice. "And if I get to see that knight who killed Yan again, all the better too."

Ayato cursed. He couldn't do anything. He was trapped. There was no way to get a message to Touka, to Kaneki, to anyone. Except…

Ayato crawled out from the pile of trash, kicking an apple core off his boot. He took off, running. If he could beat them to the Tsukiyamas' manor… warn them in advance…

But by the time he reached the manor, he heard clanks echoing through the woods around him. The guards. Already here.

_I'm too late._

_I'm trapped._

They wouldn't even take him to the dungeons like Hinami They'd cut off his head. A sick sensation gripped Ayato's abdomen. Hunger, and fear. _I don't want to die._ The woods closed in around him, branches thick and leaves abundant. _Take care of your sister._

If they were onto Shuu, they'd be onto Touka next. Eto would do it just to spite him. Ayato gritted his teeth.

He lurked behind a tree, waiting. The moment a knight came into place, a boy with two moles under his eye and pink hair, Ayato lunged. He grabbed the knight's arm and twisted, snapping it. The boy shrieked, but his torch fell to the ground.

Ayato threw it into the woods, into the dried leaves. Fire sprang up.

 _Wake up, someone,_ he thought as he glanced over his shoulder at the dark manor. His feet carried him away.

* * *

Touka sat in her room, teeth chattering. It's cold tonight, and without Hinami staying with her, it was unbearably quiet.

Someone knocked on her door. Touka froze. She reached up to grab her knife and concealed it in her skirt as she crept towards the door. She flung it open to find Irimi there. _Oh_. Touka let out her breath.

Except Irimi's mouth was pinched. She grabbed Touka's shoulder. "They're targeting the Tsukiyamas."

"Hmm?" Touka didn't understand.

"Hirako told me," said Irimi, brushing her hair back from her eyes. "They just left."

"You were seeing him again?" interrupted Koma's voice. Irimi glared out the doorway.

"Shut up; now is not the time," Irimi snapped. "They're—"

"Why?" Touka demanded. She gripped the hilt of the knife. "Are they onto—us?" Hinami wouldn't have said anything—not unless they were torturing her— _oh God._ "I'm going."

"That's a fool's errand," Koma told her, voice suddenly somber.

"I don't care."

"You should," came yet another voice. Touka sighed. Yomo crossed his arms. "All you can do is live. We all lose—"

"This is my head on the line!" Touka shot back. "Tsukiyama—he and Kaneki and Kanae and I have been trying to prove that the new bastard king is working with the witch—"

Yomo's face paled. " _Touka_."

She grabbed her cloak from the wall. A dark blue, it was perfect for helping her blend in. She pushed her way past Koma and Irimi, knife still clutched in her hands. She wished she could go to Kaneki's chambers, but the risk for him was far greater—and if she was caught sneaking around his chambers late at night, it would certainly raise some eyebrows. _I_ ' _m not good enough._ She scowled.

"Touka," came a voice behind her as she clattered down the stairs.

"Get Yoshimura if you want to," she retorted. "I'm going, and nothing you say will stop me." Because they were right, weren't they? If the king's men were going after them so much…

"If you're going to go," said Yomo. "I'm going with you."

Touka frowned, glancing up at the man. "Why? What does it matter to you whether I live or die, or if Shuu—"

He set his jaw. "And where are you going to take him after you save him, Touka? I thought you hated him."

"I did," Touka said as she emerged onto the castle grounds, boots crunching grass. "I don't anymore."

"There's no place for you to hide him."

Touka glanced up at the moon, shining silver onto them. "At least he would be alive."

Yomo said nothing, but he continued to follow her like a shadow. Touka spotted the horses of the posse. Ui Koori sat at the front of the group. She supposed Ihei Hairu's arrest didn't matter to Ui after all, if he was still groveling and slobbering for that filthy king's attention. She cursed.

"We'll never make it in time," Yomo said.

Touka continued on like she hadn't heard him, passing through the gate with Yomo at her side. She turned off the main street, weaving her way through alleyways, towards the forest surrounding the manor the Tsukiyamas were using. The horses would stick to the main streets. If they ran, they had a chance. A cloud blocked the moon. Touka coughed. Her nostrils prickled. She surged head through the brush.

Light glowed ahead.

"Shit!" Yomo grabbed her arm. "It's on fire!"

"What?" Touka yanked her arm away from him. "You can't be-"

The crackle echoed in her ears. Touka froze. Her heart pounded. Sweat beaded her forehead.

Touka burst into a sprint.

"No!" Yomo shouted after her. He cursed. Footsteps pounded as he raced after her, but she wouldn't stop—she couldn't—not again, not again—always losing—never anything but—

A moan echoed through the forest, emerging from her left. Touka hesitated. Yomo grabbed her. "Let me go!" she screamed.

Another moan. Yomo's eyes darkened. Orange reflected on both of them. Smoke filled the air.

Touka cursed. She turned towards the moan. Yomo nodded, following her. She stumbled over a rock. Her hand pricked a thorn.

"Nice sword you got there," came a voice.

Touka halted, peering out from behind a tree. A boy with pink hair staggered through the woods, vomiting. Soot smeared his face. His shirt was singed. And a girl with indigo hair and a black cloak with a red tree approached, her sword aimed at the boy. His arm dangled at a sickening angle.

 _They're here too?_ Touka clapped her hand over her mouth. _Did Kanae give the witch information before the witch killed him?_ But they had to get to Shuu—so what if this boy was a squire of Kaneki's?

If they were using Kaneki's squires but not Kaneki himself, Kaneki must be in danger. Fear seized Touka like acid around her heart.

The girl swung her sword at the boy—Higemaru, if Touka recalled correctly. He swung his own sword up with one arm, blocking her blow with a clang. She laughed. "I like thinner swords—they're more interesting to fight with, don't you think?"

She sent his sword flying. The boy gaped up at her. She smirked. Yomo started.

A horse, frantic and screaming, galloped through the forest. Yomo yanked Touka back behind the tree. Bark scraped her scalp. A groan echoed.

Touka peeked back out. Higemaru had apparently yanked the girl out of he way, because she was on her back half on top of him. "What'd you do that for?" she snarled.

"Not dying is the most important thing," Higemaru rasped. "Right?"

Touka bit her lip. Blood, salty, stung her tongue. The girl ran straight past them. Higemaru pulled himself up, gagging again. He staggered in the direction the horse went.

"Kirishima!"

Touka jumped. Yomo yanked out a sword that must have been attached to his pants. Touka's jaw dropped.

Chie stumbled towards them, yanking a cloaked Tsukiyama. Shuu cried, tears running down his face. "My father—Matsumae—"

"They're under arrest," Chie said. "The fire alerted us—it woke us up—Mirumo told us to go—if he stayed he'd create enough of a distraction—"

"Eto's compatriots are here," whispered Touka, grabbing Tsukiyama's arm and hoisting it onto her shoulder. He coughed. The smoke felt thicker. "We have to get out of here." Relief shuddered through her. She wasn't useless. They had Tsukiyama. He was alive.

_It's the most important thing, right?_

"The wind's heading in the opposite direction," said Yomo. "But we have to move fast."

Tsukiyama's chest heaved.

"Kanae must have ratted us out," Chie mused.

" _Shut up!"_ bellowed Tsukiyama.

A grunt echoed. Touka wrapped her arm tighter around Tsukiyama's waist. Her pulse hammered in her throat. If they got caught, that would be it for them—for Kaneki too, most likely— _why was I endangering him?_ She never meant to do that. She never meant to care for him at all.

 _He wanted me to live_. He feared for her that night, the night of the raid. He was different. He— _I'll never be_ —

Another curse. Touka turned, and with Chie's torch lighting their way, she spotted a muscular man with dark hair lunging at a boy with indigo hair.

" _Ayato!"_ she bellowed. She couldn't—she wouldn't—she needed her brother—

Yomo launched himself through the air, throwing up his sword to block the blow. Touka's jaw dropped. Why did Yomo care so much?

Ayato scrambled backward, hands digging through the leaves coating the forest floor. He leaned over, hacking.

Yomo stumbled. Touka shoved Tsukiyama to Chie, dragging out her knife. She aimed, preparing to throw. Ayato got to his feet, ready to lunge at Yomo and the knight. " _No!_ " Touka shrieked.

A pair of hands landed on Ayato's shoulders. "You're in luck tonight," rumbled a voice Touka remembered from her days scavenging the streets for husks of bread and rotten apples. "I don't have time to carry out orders about you." The man pushed Ayato to the side, drawing a sword.

"Tatara," breathed the knight. Yomo ducked out of the way, grabbing Ayato's elbow and dragging him back towards them like an errant child.

"You bastard," seethed Tatara. "You—Yan—that's _his_ sword!" It came out a shrill shriek, not the bellow of a protective man, a former knight, but a desperate child's cry.

"He forfeited his right to it when he betrayed the crown," sneered Houji. "And now you're—doing the same thing—" He panted.

"I heard one of your former squires followed in my footsteps recently," Tatara mocked, circling the knight with his sword trained.

Houji glowered. Touka grabbed Ayato. _You're here. You're okay._

"Hinami?' he panted.

"She's in the dungeons—her trial's next week," Touka eked out.

Ayato's brows swooped together.

"We have to move," Yomo hissed. Touka turned and threw her blade. It slammed into Houji's shoulder. He cried out.

"Touka!" hissed Ayato.

She grabbed Tsukiyama and dragged him through the forest. The smoke thickened. If Tatara and Houji stayed any longer, they'd suffocate. Touka doubled over, dragging her cloak of her mouth and over Tsukiyama's to help them breath. Ayato helped Chie.

 _Why do you care?_ Touka wondered again as she watched Yomo lead the way. _Is it just because you almost lost Uta and don't want to risk that with anyone else?_

"Where will we go?" whispered Tsukiyama as they broke out of the forest, sprinting towards the alleyways. Chie vomited.

"I've been staying in a particular alleyway," Ayato said. "There's an overhang."

Tsukiyama looked repulsed. He turned to Touka.

She shook her head. _I don't know what else to offer you._ "Show me the alleyway," she said. "I'll bring you food. From the kitchen and from Yoriko's bakery."

"What about Kaneki?" Tsukiyama asked, tears running down his face. "My father—Matsumae—because of me—it's all my—"

"He won't visit," Touka cut in. She wouldn't let him risk it.

Tsukiyama doubled over. "But what—else do I have left?"

Touka swallowed. Her throat felt scraped, raw.

She didn't know what to tell him.


	14. XIII: Magic Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What is she worth to you, Ui Koori?” Furuta asked, breath tickling Ui’s ear. “What are you willing to sacrifice for her?”

"Not good enough, I'm afraid."

Ui's chest clamped. He gaped at the king, soot from that bizarre fire still caked to his face, his fingers raw from burns, throat throbbing. "But—"

Dawn glowed outside, rose and orange melting indigo. Smoke still curled across the sky like a centipede. "You have to get Tsukiyama Mirumo and that woman to talk," said Furuta, descending from his throne. His hand cupped Ui's chin. "Or else we are still no closer to finding the witch. Or find the son. His escape is a blight on your record."

"But those people—in those cloaks—they were _there_ ," insisted Ui. "Isn't that proof enough? If the Tsukiyamas were involved, it's less likely Hairu was." The backs of his eyes burned. _Please let her go. Please._ She's been in that dungeon too long and he was lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, terrified for her.

Furuta clapped his hands together. "Your love for her really is precious, and true, Ui Koori."

For some reason, when Furuta said it, Ui's stomach turned. He lowered his head, clasping his hands.

"The knight I squired under was an interrogation specialist," Furuta mused. "He had—some tricks. I remember him using them on one poor soul, a boy named Rio."

Ui recoiled. "I've heard rumors, and I will not—I would never—" He heard about this Kijima. He killed a man who was a renowned thief and captured his brother, a young teenager.

"What is she worth to you, Ui Koori?" Furuta asked, breath tickling Ui's ear. "What are you willing to sacrifice for her?"

Ui watched gold clouds crawl across the sky. The smoking centipede gobbled them up. "It's not right. It's not just."

"Did you have just cause to raid Tsukiyama Mirumo's manor?" Furuta's hands gripped his shoulder, squeezing too tightly. Ui winced. "Think for a moment, Koori. Usually a higher standard of proof is needed to warrant such an action, but—these are extenuating circumstances. These are special times. Our kingdom faces a great threat, and you are desperate to help stop it. And to save the woman you love. Ordinarily no one would have granted you permission to lead such a raid and I highly doubt you'd have wanted to do it yourself, but for her, you'll do it. It speaks depths of your love."

Ui felt as if Furuta had shoved a pile of rocks into his mouth, rocks that now settled in his stomach, weighing him down. He wanted to shake his head, but his skull felt rooted to the top of his spine. His eyes stung. _Hairu_.

"What is she worth to you?" Furuta prompted, slipping in front of Ui, blocking the sunrise. He crossed his arms, a small smile on his lips.

He already knew the answer. Ui didn't see why he was even asking. He thought of his parents, still disgusted with him. He thought of Arima, asleep. He thought of the silent condemnation he saw in Hirako's eyes, yet when he asked his comrade for help, Hirako offered him nothing. He thought of Kaneki, lost in his own world with that kitchen woman, and how he envied him. _She's everything._

He didn't care that she said she was illegitimate or that she was foolish sometimes. She was life personified, joy, hope even in the face of the impossible, like Arima praising her. _I'd pay him to praise you._

_I want to praise you._

He seldom had. Ui hung his head.

"Cheer up," Furuta crooned. "It's enough doubt to hopefully sway the court." He cleared his throat. "But in the meantime— _Hajime!"_

Ui turned to see a small page entering the throne room. Dark indigo hair unkempt, the boy smirked at him.

"A new orphan," Furuta said.

Ui remembered the three Hairu enjoyed playing with. Shio. Yusa. Rikai.

"He's training to take up Haisaki's job someday," Furuta added, patting Hajime on the head. Hajime looked repulsed, but submitted. "Go see if you can get that bitch to talk."

"You're making a child do that?" Ui cried out.

Furuta blinked. "Would you rather do it?"

"I'm not a child, you idiot!" snarled Hajime.

"How old are you?" Ui retorted.

"Eleven!"

"That's a child."

"It is not, you ancient nobody!"

Ui flinched. "Wait. At least until noon. Suzuya's combing the city—if he doesn't find—then—" Ui couldn't believe he was saying such a thing. But he was desperate.

Furuta nodded.

Ui made his way to Arima's room. Despite being up all night, reeking of sweat and smoke, he only wanted to see one other person.

They allowed him in. The drapes were still drawn. Ui wondered why they couldn't open them, allow Arima some sunlight. Ui stood above his mentor, the man silent and barely breathing on this bed, cheeks sunken and skin gray. He didn't know what to say. "I don't know what to do."

_I can't lose her._

_I'm losing hope that you'll come back to us._

_I'm not even sure I want you to. I'd trade you for her. She smiles. You never did you were just my father all over again you were who I wanted to be you are whom I never want to be like I want to be you for her sake for my father's sake for my sake_ _—I don't even know what my sake is, I don't know what I should be, I don't know anything._

"Goodbye," Ui said. He couldn't stomach the sight of the man another moment. He spun on his heel and almost smacked into Kaneki. _You were a friend of Tsukiyama's, right?_

Kaneki merely nodded at him, and Ui wanted to throw him back against the stone wall, scream in his face. _React! React! Tell me what to do!_

He couldn't do anything but stalk away.

* * *

 _You raided the Tsukiyamas. Do you suspect me?_ Kaneki stood stiff. Touka came to inform him early in the morning.

But Ui pushed past him. Kaneki swallowed.

 _I'm useless. I couldn't do anything. No matter what I do, I always lose people_. He thought of his mother. Hide hadn't written to Kaneki in a matter of weeks, and it was killing Kaneki. _What is so wrong with me?_

"It's tomorrow," he said. "The trial. For Hinami." And Hairu. And Marude. Kaneki bit his lip, cracked a knuckle. _Come on, Arima._

_Wake up._

"I don't know what to do," he said aloud, his voice a harsh whisper, wind blowing against his teeth just from talking. "I've never known. It feels like—they're all counting on me—and I—I don't know how to ensure any kind of good outcome."

_If you were back, none of this would be happening._

"Wake up," Kaneki requested. "Wake up, Arima. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Please. Wake—" His voice broke. _You're never going to wake up, are you?_

_Fuck you._

_Wake up._

_Please._

Kaneki raced out of the room and back to his chambers. His hands still trembled when he thought of what almost happened to Touka and Yomo. He wouldn't have been able to save them. They could have died, bodies burned to ash, and he wouldn't know.

He couldn't leave Hinami to die. Even if it cost him his life. He already knew how that trial would turn out.

Kaneki wandered past Mutsuki, shrugging off the boy's attempts to talk with him. He headed to the kitchen, where he found Touka kneading bread under Yoshimura's scowling face.

_I can't fathom the idea of losing you._

Touka smiled at him, brushing her hair back from her face. Sweat shone on her cheeks. Kaneki's heart picked up pace.

"Let's go for a walk," Kaneki requested. "Yoshimura, may she leave for a few minutes?"

Yoshimura's spoon clanked against the side of his cauldron. "And what will you be talking about?"

Kaneki's face reddened.

Yoshimura's gaze softened. He nodded.

"I'd have gone anyways," Touka mumbled, tossing her apron and kerchief to the side as she followed Kaneki through the maze of a palace, outside onto the grounds. She wrapped her arms around herself.

"At least Ayato is all right," Kaneki said. "Houji is in the infirmary."

"I know," Touka said. "Kimi told Nishiki he was barely alive when he staggered out of that forest. A few stab wounds." She fiddled with a loose thread on her skirt.

 _I don't want to know_. Kaneki and Touka departed the palace, heading through the gate. Kaneki swallowed as Touka led the way to the place where Tsukiyama and Ayato should be.

A hand clamped down on Kaneki's shoulder. He let out a gasp. Touka grabbed a knife from her skirt.

A man with a red mask over his mouth, cloaked in a plain green cape this time, glowered at them. _You. You work for_ —

"Shall we talk?" interrupted a voice. A small woman, cloaked in a matching cape, barefoot, emerged from an alleyway. "Unless of course you want to lead me to your brother, Touka darling."

"I'll scream," Kaneki warned. She. She must have saved the man in the red mask from Houji, from the fire.

The witch threw back her head and laughed. "No, you won't. Besides, I have something to offer you before the trial tomorrow."

"Nothing you have to offer could possibly interest me!" Kaneki wrenched his arm out of the white-haired man's grasp. "You bitch!"

"Ah, but I know Arima Kishou," Eto told him, eyes glittering. "He was hired by my father to find me, you see."

"Your father?" Touka glared at her.

"He told him he couldn't find me," Eto continued. "You already know who it is, don't you?"

A knot tightened in Kaneki's stomach. The man watched Eto, eyes narrowed.

"You're a liar," breathed Touka.

"Why?" demanded Eto. "Unwilling to accept that anyone who has ever been a father to you is also prone to abandonment?" She nodded at Kaneki. "He's not any better. This is a boy who wants to run. Or die. And you—you're a girl who wants to hurt to protect yourself."

"Bullshit!" yelled Touka. Kaneki gaped at her. How did she know?

Of course. Magic.

"Don't look so afraid," Eto said. "Magic is all around you all the time, Kaneki Ken, Kirishima Touka."

"Go away," Kaneki managed. "Or I'll kill you." He tightened his hand on the hilt of his sword.

"Look towards the people around you," Eto said. "Not yourself, or you'll drown." She grabbed the man's arm, laughing wildly.

A chill ran down Kaneki's spine as they ducked behind a building, leaving him and Touka alone.

* * *

"He's always running off," Urie said with a scowl, watching Kaneki leave.

Mutsuki huddled on the sofa, holding a pillow to his stomach. Urie's words just dumped salt on a smarting wound. _Why am I not enough for you to stay?_ His hand wriggled to his pocket, where he pinched the crystal the vendor had given him. A lump grew in his throat. He wanted to talk to Kaneki. Tell him what happened with Saeki, with Uta. If anyone wouldn't condemn him, it would be Kaneki. Urie, on the other hand—he called whoever attacked Uta and killed Saeki a _monster_. Because Urie knew.

 _I_ am _a monster._

_But I don't want you to see me that way._

Mutsuki rested his chin on the pillow. "I wish he wouldn't."

Urie nodded. "I may not need him, but you and Saiko do."

 _You do too, don't you?_ Mutsuki managed a small smile. _I just don't want to lose myself again._ His dreams had been tormented by nightmares lately, of blood all over him, of pain searing through him, of splinters in his hands, and he couldn't quite fit them into the appropriate memories.

"Kaneki feels like a parent," Mutsuki said. "Like—no one else—I never really had them." _I miss them still._ But not who they actually were. Who he wanted them to be.

Urie glanced at him. He crossed his arms. "What do you mean?"

Now Mutsuki felt judged. He bit his lip, releasing the pillow to twist his shirt. "My parents weren't kind. Neither was my brother. But they were murdered when I was twelve." He remembered struggling to breathe. Mutsuki's chest heaved.

"I'm sorry," Urie said. "My dad was—wonderful. But he still died." He scowled. "There's no fucking justice in this world. Except for the justice we create."

Mutsuki nodded.

"Especially with a crazy person on the loose," Urie added.

_Urie, he tried to rape me. Urie, I didn't mean to hurt him. Urie, I don't remember_ _—it was like I lost part of myself_ _—and the worst part is the screams I hear aren't entirely theirs but are other screams_ _—my family._

"I love him," Mutsuki mumbled.

"Huh?" Urie turned to him. He shoved his tea away from him.

"Kaneki." Mutsuki squeezed his eyes shut. "He—when we're all together—I almost feel like we can have a family, all seven of us—eight—"

Urie was silent.

Mutsuki pried himself off the sofa. _He's the only one who can help me._ He wouldn't judge Mutsuki. Saiko would be repulsed, obviously, and Hsiao, Higemaru, Aura—he didn't know them nearly as well yet, but he was scared. Shirazu—he'd do what Kaneki wanted. He didn't even want to think of what Urie would do. He didn't want Urie to hate him. Urie was whom he wanted to be. Strong. Efficient. Brave.

He lay down on his bed. Urie didn't follow, of course. The charm dug into his thigh. He thought of that stupid kitchen slut and despair climbed through him. _I just want to be healed._

 _Help me_.

He didn't deserve it, though. Not after what he did to Uta, even if the man would recover. Even if Saeki had tried to assault him. Just like his father. It was still murder.

_I don't deserve to live._

But he wanted to. Just not—not this life, not the life that felt like it was closing in around him, suffocating him, crushing him from the inside out with phantom fingers, taunting him with flashes of hope and memories, and then clubbing him with how broken he was. His skull couldn't even hold him together.

_Kaneki, someone, help me._

Mutsuki curled up and cried.

* * *

"Wake up." Takizawa shook Amon awake.

Amon rolled over. "What's going on?" He had guard duty for most of the night, until Kurona replaced him at dawn.

"The Tsukiyamas were arrested and the manor they were renting burned down," Kurona said, swinging her legs from the bale of hay she sat on.

"They're combing the town," Takizawa said. His hair, recently bleached with Kurona's help, didn't disguise him as well as he'd hoped. "The son escaped. Shuu. They're literally going door to door. That bastard. Suzuya."

Amon leapt to his feet. He grabbed the burlap bag of apples and bread Kurona had stolen the day before.

"We do need to go," Kurona said. "To Aogiri. That's the only district we'll be able to hide from them."

Amon cussed. Takizawa's eyebrows flew up. _Aogiri_. "We'll be in more danger there." And it would look bad if people found out. His chances to prove their innocence would fade.

Kurona hopped off the bale of hay. She grabbed a small bag of soap she'd stolen. They've been showering every three days, and Amon can still smell the stench of horse and hay that he's beginning to presume he'll never wash away. "I think the three of us can handle some witches."

Takizawa glanced at her. Amon swallowed. He would protect them with his life if need be. _Akira…_ He remembered the kiss they shared and pressed his lips together. They ducked out the barn's doors, heading down the street. Takizawa pulled up behind one of the bakeries. The warm, sugary scent had Amon's stomach rumbling. _Doughnuts._

"What are you doing, idiot?" hissed Kurona.

Takizawa nodded. A lump of black lay among the trash. A black cape. Amon's heart pounded. "If we can take that cape—"

Takizawa nodded again. He crept closer.

The lump rolled over, a knife flying towards Takizawa's throat. He flung his arm out, knocking the knife to the ground. Blood dripped. The girl, tiny with indigo hair and a face smeared with soot, fumbled to withdraw another knife.

 _No way!_ Amon and Kurona both launched themselves at her. If she created too much of a ruckus, surely Suzuya and his squad would find them. Kurona grabbed the girl from behind, clamping a hand over her mouth. Amon grabbed the legs she tried to kick up. One boot got his nose. Amon grabbed her knees.

"F—yo—" she grunted.

"I know you," Takizawa blurted out.

The sun opened the sky overhead. Amon squinted at his friend.

"You're that grave robber. Hakatori, they call you. Houji wanted to hang you."

"She's a child!" Amon blurted out.

"I—" She struggled more, but Kurona tightened her grip on Hakatori's mouth.

"Listen, thief woman," Takizawa said, crouching down. "You should know that Suzuya and his merry band of death knights are searching this district door to door for Tsukiyama Shuu. If you scream, they'll find us, and in that cape, you're gonna die. If you wanna live, _keep your goddamn voice down."_

Hakatori nodded, glowering up at Kurona with red eyes. Still scowling, Kurona released her.

"I'm seventeen," Hakatori spit out, focusing on Amon. "And my name's Tomoe Yumitsu. And you are the knight who killed my brothers!"

Amon's hands flew up. Kurona grabbed her again.

"That's not cooperating," snarled Takizawa.

"You hung them!"

Amon remembered two brothers. Bin. They were thieves. Mado told him to—he—

Tears streamed down Hakatori's face. Kurona yelped. "You bit me!"

 _To her I'm a murderer._ It was justified, though. Right? _Not the same as… not the same…_ Amon gulped.

He felt lower than a cockroach, and he had no idea how to apologize, how to—did he even need to—but she was crying, _crying_ , from pain he inflicted—"It was the law."

"Aren't you a thief now?" Hakatori snapped.

"No actually, Amon's too pure for that," Takizawa quipped.

Shame curdled in Amon's stomach. _I'm supposed to be protecting Takizawa and Kurona._ Instead…

He stared at his hands. By letting others do what they had to do, he was soiling his own hands. Or, or, or—he wasn't. Or Takizawa and Kurona's hands were clean. At least from stealing. To survive, they had to. And Hakatori too.

_In that case, mine are the filthy hands._

"Judging by how you reek of smoke, you must've been there last night," Kurona said. "So, the Tsukiyamas really are traitors?" She laughed.

"No," said Hakatori. "They aren't."

Amon's eyes widened. And then the sound of a sword sliding out of its sheath cut through him. It came from behind them.

"Fucking hell," Takizawa groaned. Kurona released Hakatori. She grabbed the knife Takizawa had sent flying. Amon reached for his sword.

"Don't fight me," Suzuya said, his squad behind him. "We'll take you back to the palace—for a trial, for you, Amon—"

"And take my head?" hissed Takizawa.

"You traitor—"

"Rei," said Kurona, her voice shaking. And then Amon realized Takizawa wasn't holding his sword anymore. It was in Kurona's hands, and the fury snapping in her eyes was enough to convince Amon she would use it.

"Kuro—" started Amon.

"Fuck you," Kurona said, glowering at Suzuya. "It's your fault, you know. Your fault. Nashiro—do you want to hear me laugh at your pain now? At the fact that your most important person is lying in an enchanted coma? At the fact that you mocked me, asking what it would be like to see one twin die? Well, what are you like without your Shinohara?" She threw back her head. Cackles emerged, broken and hard. Amon's stomach churned.

"Come with us peacefully, Yasuhisa," said Hanbee. "You'll just be lashed most likely—"

" _Just?_ No thank you. I like my back intact." She raised her sword.

"Go," said Suzuya.

Amon flung himself in front of Kurona, knocking Nakarai off his feet. Hakatori tossed another knife to Takizawa, who hurled them at Tamaki. Hanbee approached to join Nakarai in facing off against Amon. Which left Kurona facing Suzuya. Alone. _Shit_.

"Takizawa," Amon said. "Disarm them!"

Takizawa nodded. He clutched his knife, wrenching it out of Tamaki's back, and cut a tendon on his leg. He grabbed the boy's sword and tossed the knife back to Hakatori, who went after Mikage.

Hanbee swung. Amon parried left. It clipped his shoulder. "You've really improved," Amon grunted.

Hanbee blinked.

"You don't get it, do you?" Amon shouted as he blocked a blow from Nakarai. "I am not your enemy! None of us are! Takizawa's a—traitor—no—he's not— _you tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing!"_ he screamed. "His family—his sister's still—"

_I would have. I would have, for Akira._

Hanbee's blade sliced his thigh. Amon cursed.

They wouldn't listen. They didn't care. Tears, something long forgotten, burned in the back of Amon's eyes.

" _Don't cry," Mado would tell him. "What's done is done. Push forward. Keep fighting."_

 _How?_ How was he supposed to push forward, when the entire set-up of the world seemed to be against him, and he felt helpless because he—he was still that little boy, curled up in the back of a convent, listening to screams—his fault—

Nakarai knocked him down, and then cried out. Hakatori slammed a brick down on his skull. Hanbee whirled, but Takizawa sent him flying back on his ass. "Haven't improved enough to beat me," taunted Takizawa.

 _"Hanbee!"_ Suzuya shouted.

"Kurona!" Amon launched himself at Suzuya. Takizawa copied his movements, aiming for Suzuya's arm. Amon grabbed Suzuya by the waist. The boy struggled, kicking. Takizawa knocked the sword out of his grasp. Shinohara's sword. Amon recognized it.

Kurona stumbled back, breathing heavily. Her arms were both sliced, ribbons of blood running down them. He was—being merciful? Or playing with her?

Amon slammed Suzuya against the side of the building, grabbing him by the throat. Takizawa helped Kurona stand. " _You_ —what do you think you're doing? How the—" Why not just say it? Why mince words? "— _fuck_ can you turn on us like that?" he bellowed. "Wasn't I your friend?" He shook Suzuya. "You _coward."_

The boy's red eyes glared up at him. "Shino-hara," he eked out.

 _You're desperate_.

Amon gulped.

"He—never—looked at me like you—did," Suzuya panted. "I want him—back—"

"And I want my parents back, you fucking turd!" yelled Takizawa. "Kurona wants her sister back! And Hakatori wants her brothers back! How do _you_ like it?"

Suzuya shook his head. "You're—I can—"

 _You think you can get him back by fighting?_ "Shinohara would be ashamed of you," Amon informed him. "He never gave a shit about you being a knight. He only ever cared about you being a decent human being."

" _He's a fool for thinking he can work with that kid," Mado said._

" _I consider him a victim too," Shinohara said simply._

"Uh, Amon?" Takizawa prompted.

Amon gave Suzuya a shove and then backed up, sword still trained on him. He looked at Kurona, panting and bleeding, and Hakatori, and Takizawa. "Let's go."


	15. XIV: Judgment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Lord Mutsuki, you just attempted to disrupt a royal order—"
> 
> "That's not surprising. Mutsuki Tooru has no care for laws,"

The king pressed his fingertips together, beaming at the row of judges and at the row of prisoners. Marude glared at him, gagged because of his frequent outbursts. Hinami huddled in on herself, and Hairu's eyes shone as if she had been crying. Matsumae and Mirumo kept their heads down.

Kaneki could vomit. He wished Touka was allowed in the courtroom, but only nobles were allowed inside. If Touka were here, he could look at her eyes, at the smile hiding in there, at the compassion, and draw strength. As it is, it was all on him, and Kaneki wasn't certain he was strong enough. His legs already felt as if they would give out on him and he was sitting down. His squires sat in a row next to him.

"Begin," said Furuta, clapping his hands together as if it was a performance, a play, instead of a trial for the lives of those five people lives. Roma, the jester, giggled. Nico, the other jester, looked more solemn.

 _I'll save you, Hinami. No matter what_. Kaneki tried to catch her eye. But she wouldn't look up, studying her folded hands instead.

A parade of bogus witnesses spoke. Ui Koori gave evidence against Hinami, but Kaneki saw his hands shaking.  _You're just trying to save Hairu, aren't you?_  The only person who looked remotely possible to be let off was, in fact, Hairu, thanks to Houji's evidence against the Tsukiyamas.

"This is a farce," whispered Saiko.

Kaneki blinked, turning to look at the girl.

"Shut up," Urie hissed. Mutsuki doubled over. Aura hung his head, Higemaru studied his burned hands, wrapped in bandages, and Hsiao glanced over at Saiko, her brow creased.

Roma was called to give evidence against Marude, claiming that she'd observed him and Yoshitoki many times. Chortles rang through the courtroom as Roma tried to give a far more explicit description than was necessary.

"Any other witnesses?" prompted Furuta, leaning forward and resting his chin on his gloved hands. Red, the gloves were the color of blood.

 _Now or never._  Kaneki stood up.

"Sir Kaneki," said Furuta. "My, my. This is a surprise indeed." His lips curved up. "What do you have to say?"

"The girl," Kaneki said. "And the—Tsukiyamas." Okay, that would make no sense, but he had to try. He had a better chance just trying to save Hinami, but he couldn't abandon the Tsukiyamas. "They're innocent. I hid that boy. Not because of the witch, but because he—was so young and scared, I thought we could rehabilitate him—show him we're not monsters—I asked her to befriend him, she had nothing to do with it—"

"What are you saying?" shrieked Mutsuki. Urie grabbed him. Kaneki ignored them. Ui looked as if he would like to deck Kaneki.

"It's me!" Kaneki cried out. "If you have to punish someone, hurt me—not—"

Furuta threw back his head and laughed. "What a nice attempt, Kaneki Ken. Why you're so desperate to save this girl, I don't know, but you should know that none of us are buying your desperate, sad acting. Although I've half a mind to arrest you for attempting to disrupt proceedings of the law."

Kaneki wanted to cry.  _Of course it didn't work._ He was useless, so useless. "But—"  _I could say I'm the witch_ _—but then it will look bad for Touka_ _—as it already does_ _—oh God_ —

Hinami whimpered.

"I knew you had a soft heart," mused Furuta, rising. "I just didn't know how soft. Well, unfortunately, such a soft heart isn't allowed in a king. A king is required to have a heart of steel." He glanced away, towards the portraits lining the walls. His eyes lingered on King Tsuneyoshi's portrait.

 _You bastard. You're relishing this, aren't you?_  "You don't have a heart at all," Kaneki retorted.

Gasps abounded. Hirako groaned.

Furuta snickered. "Dr. Kanou, may I call you as a witness? Would I still be standing here if I didn't have a heart?" Ice coats his voice.

The doctor rises from where he sits next to Lady Kimi. "No, Your Majesty."

"Well, there you have it," Furuta said primly. "I believe we've now established you're a liar, Sir Kaneki—or at the very least, a delusional man who might need the care of a doctor himself. But to settle the matter once and for all, why don't we ask the lady herself? We won't address the Tsukiyamas, as your attempt to save them too was absolutely pathetic. Hinami, darling, why don't you tell us? Was it indeed Kaneki's idea? Did you just go along with it because you were scared of a big powerful noble?" Disdain dripped from his voice.

 _Yes. Say yes, Hinami,_ Kaneki pleaded. He tried to catch her eyes. His face burned.

She kept her head lowered. She shook her head. "I saved the boy."

 _No!_ Kaneki's jaw dropped. "Hinami—"

"Not everyone would be content with innocent blood being shed on their behalf," Furuta interrupted. "Though, I must say, I do understand, Kaneki. How precious, that you care so for the daughter of two witches."

Hinami flinched.

"They were not witches!" Kaneki erupted.

"Get him out of the courtroom," Furuta commanded. "Another outburst, Sir Kaneki, and I'll have you whipped. And judges, what is your verdict?"

Kaneki struggled as Suzuya grabbed him. "Juuzou!"

Juuzou shook his eyes, red eyes wide. He hesitated.

"Guilty," said the judge.

"Guilty," said the next.

"Guilty."

"Guilty."

"Guilty."

"Excellent," said Furuta. "Behead them all in three days time. I hope that that, at least, will be the start of peace and the end of crimes besieging our palace and noble kingdom."

"I'm not a witch!" cried out Hairu. "You can't do this—I'm not—you wretched—"

Hinami bawled. Matsumae stood and a guard yanked her down.

Kaneki screamed.

* * *

"Kaneki!" Mutsuki bellowed, leaping to his feet. He couldn't stand seeing his mentor in so much pain. He raced towards him.

"Mutsuki!" Urie grabbed at him. Mutsuki was too fast. He clutched onto Kaneki. "It's okay," Mutsuki assured him. "Even if you—"

"Quiet!" Furuta yelled, banging on his podium. "It seems you have all forgotten proper protocol in the courtroom. Lord Mutsuki, you just attempted to disrupt a royal order—"

"That's not surprising. Mutsuki Tooru has no care for laws," came a gravelly voice Mutsuki recognized, though he couldn't quite place it.

"Mutsuki, sit back down," hissed Suzuya. "Okay?" His eyes widened in fear. Kaneki gaped at them all.

"Don't you know he's the one who attacked Uta and killed that guard?" said Tokage, jangling the chains he placed on the condemned.

 _What?_ Mutsuki's jaw dropped.

"Shut the fuck up, you liar!" Suzuya yelled. "I know you—you're a—"

 _He knows._ Of course he knew. Tokage was the head of that orphanage.

" _Next time, use this knife, and put it in a jar." The hilt pressed into his hand._

Mutsuki stumbled. He saw a forest, felt slime and moist earth on his hands.

"You shut up!" bellowed Urie. "Mutsuki wouldn't—he's terrified of the sight of blood! You're a grotesque little—"

"What happened to Saeki and Uta looked an awful lot like what happened to your parents and brother, didn't it, Tooru?" Tokage's scarred face broke into a crooked smile, revealing his broken and stained teeth.

Mutsuki shook his head wildly. "That's—not—" He felt trapped. His chest constricted. And in his mind he felt his head submerged, again. He felt the hand, the callouses, pressing his face under the water, the pressure building in his lungs, the words he didn't want to say but couldn't say even if he'd wanted to, even though he needed too, the oxygen deprivation that bit at his fingertips like ants.

He felt pressure and saw his father above him, face twisted in a face Mutsuki never wanted to see again.

And he felt something heavy in his hands, splinters embedding themselves in his fingers.

_I killed them._

Mutsuki clutched his skull.  _No!_

Of course he killed Saeki. Of course he attacked Uta, and couldn't remember what happened besides blood, and the feeling of a knife in his hand.

"You shut your mouth!" Urie yelled. "That's slander, and I'll—"

"Uta doesn't remember who attacked him, so I'm inclined to agree," Furuta said, settling back down in his seat. "Though, I suppose, we might as well hear what the boy has to say about it. Mutsuki?"

_I killed my family._

Urie and Saiko both looked at him, eyes expectant.

He shook his head. "I don't—that's not—true."

"Settled," Furuta declared. "Tokage, you—"

"I have proof," Tokage said. "I have Mutsuki Tooru's records. He was an orphan, remember. His parents and brother were all slain with an axe. They never found signs of an intruder. There was only one other person in the house—a daughter."

"So, Mutsuki has a sister?" demanded Hsiao. "You—"

"No," said Tokage. "You know it's true, isn't it? Don't you, Tooru? I remember that one cat you killed. I thought you had potential, but you couldn't even remember just like you couldn't remember what you did to your family because your mind was so shattered. Instead of long years of torture shattering it, it broke so early—of course a child's mind is always more fragile, but yours must have been exceptionally so—"

"Shut up!" yelled Urie. Kaneki—he said nothing.

Mutsuki looked at his mentor. Kaneki wasn't even looking at him. Kaneki was still looking at Hinami, tears running down his face. For Hinami. Not for him.

_I mean nothing to you._

_I never meant anything to you._

Tears burned in Mutsuki's eyes. Suzuya cussed at Tokage.

"These kinds of lies are unacceptable!" bellowed Urie. "I won't stand for them—Mutsuki is the kindest—"

_You don't think that. You're just afraid of losing someone else like we lost Shirazu._

_I'm not kind. I'm a monster._

Mutsuki laughed, a broken, crackling sound. He grabbed Kaneki by the throat. Kaneki gagged, eyes bulging. Saiko wailed. Hanbee yanked Mutsuki away, throwing him down to the floor, and still, Mutsuki laughed, the air scraping his ribs. "It's true."

* * *

"Mutsuki, what are you saying?" Urie wheezed. The courtroom closed in around him, people pressing closer and closer. The odor of sweat from their bodies stuck its pungent fingers up his nose. He could only look at his friend.

Mutsuki covered his mouth with his hands. He screamed, a guttural cry of anguish. Urie grabbed his shoulders. "You don't know what you're saying! You're—"  _It's been too much for him, it's all been too much_ —

"Lady Kimi, Dr. Kanou, can you take him with you and sedate him?" Lady Akira asked frantically. She reached for Mutsuki. "He's clearly too upset—not in his—"

"Unfortunately I cannot," Dr. Kanou said, folding his hands in front of him. "Because I saw the bodies at the Mutsukis' years ago. It certainly seemed as if the daughter had done it."

"Mutsuki's not—" Akira tried.

"You're a fool," Kanou informed her. Kimi blanched beside him, but she still stood there, not offering anything to contradict him, and she should, she should tell them all that these were lies, that these were—

"Mucchan is no murderer!" cried out Saiko, tiny and blue and enraged. Hsiao and Higemaru stood behind her.

"Are you all blind?" demanded Tokage. "Didn't you just see—"

"He's out of his mind!" Urie insisted.

Aura hunched over in his seat. Kaneki gaped at Mutsuki. Suzuya barely gripped Kaneki anymore: his eyes, sparking, fixated on Furuta.

"Did you or did you not attack Saeki and Uta, killing the commoner?" prompted Furuta. "It's really a simple question that can end this mess."

The prisoners all stared in shock. Marude looked as if he wanted to spit his gag at the king. Hairu still sobbed, and Hinami—she just stared at Mutsuki, and the look in her eyes— _pity?_  Understanding? Urie hated her.

"If he's not in his right mind," Suzuya began. "Then you cannot take anything he says at—"

"Of course you  _would_  say that," sneered Furuta. "Considering what you were. Everyone knows about your past, Suzuya, and your self-harm and how you sucked the cochlea out of one guard years ago—but Shinohara covered it up. Well, he's not here to protect you anymore."

"Shut up!" shouted Abara. Nakarai grabbed him to keep him from launching himself at the king and losing his head. The other two stood behind Suzuya, ready to intervene. Aura Kiyoko sat in the back, her mouth open in horror at the chaos. Tanakamaru sputtered next to her.

Suzuya blanched. "Shinohara gave me a chance—"

"Didn't you want to find out who killed the cats you were framed for?" taunted Furuta, approaching. Urie's chest heaved. "Shouldn't you be happy? Though, he hasn't settled the question." He turned back to Mutsuki.

"Mutsuki, tell him the truth," Urie burst out, pushing himself in front of his friend. He clutched Mutsuki's hands. They were soft. "I'll take you back to our chambers. You'll be okay. Just tell him—tell him—" His eyes met Mutsuki's, green orbs that reminded him of the pendant he left in his room. Urie cursed himself.  _I know you. I know who you are. You are not this grotesque monster._

Mutsuki recoiled from Urie. His fist shot out. It collided with Urie's nose. Urie stumbled.

"You liar," Mutsuki choked out, " _I did it._  He tried to—hurt—not that any of you would ever care, not than any of you have ever cared, or why would you—you're all liars, you're all hypocrites, you all dress in fancy clothes and perfume yourselves but you all  _stink_ , you have so much blood on your hands—I have—so much—I don't remember—I did—my mind—" He screamed again.

" _Mucchan!"_  cried out Saiko.

"Well then," said Furuta. "Take him to the cells."

"No!" Urie shouted. His nose throbbed. Blood, salty, dribbled down his face. He didn't care. Mutsuki was better than this—even if—

"I did it!" Mutsuki screamed at him. " _I did it!_ I slit Saeki's throat and I attacked Uta—I killed—my parents—my brother—I hated them—Uta was never—supposed to—I—"

"Take this mess away," Furuta said, waving his hand as if he was bored. Urie gaped at him.

"Mutsuki!" Aura tried. "Tooru—"

 _"Kill me here!"_  Mutsuki shrieked. "Just—kill me here, I don't want to live, I want to—I've a murderer, a murderer, I killed my own—I want to—I'm disgusting—why—don't leave me alive—no—I don't want to—not the—" Guards grabbed him, and the others turned to escort the prisoners away.

" _Mutsuki!"_ screamed Urie. "No!" He tried to run after him. Hsiao and Saiko grabbed him.

"Think long and hard before you commit treason, Urie Kuki," Furuta said coldly. Akira covered her eyes behind him, gloved hand shaking.

"Cowards!" Urie screamed. At—at—who?

Everyone.

_It's true._

_I don't care. You're more than that, Mutsuki_ _—you're good, and you're bad_ _—you're sick, aren't you? Saeki tried to rape you, didn't he?_ Tears pricked his eyes.

"Get Kaneki out of here," Furuta ordered.

Suzuya was still gaping after Mutsuki.

"Or do you no longer care if Shinohara wakes up?" Furuta prompted.

Suzuya jerked Kaneki out of the courtroom.

_I've lost everything._

* * *

"Enter, Sir Ui."

Ui could hardly control his breathing. It came in gasps. His hands ached from how tightly he'd been clenching them. He stormed into the throne room. "You fucking liar!"

"Am I?" asked Furuta, blinking. His legs were slung over the side of the throne.

"Sit up straight," Ui snapped. "You said—you said you'd be merciful—you just—" His voice strangled him. He couldn't speak. "Hairu—"  _You sentenced her to die!_

Furuta lolled his head back. "I told you if you didn't get better evidence, I would have no choice but to—"

"You said you'd be  _merciful!"_ Ui screamed. The torches flickered around him. He felt cold, as if a block of ice sat at the base of his spine.

Furuta snickered. "I am being merciful. You'd rather have her stripped of her title and sent to work on a farm somewhere? You'd never see her again. At least this way you have a dramatic story to tell."

 _You're a monster._  "Fuck you."

"You're the fool who decided to believe me," Furuta crooned.

Ui couldn't control himself anymore. He lunged, scrambling up the steps towards the throne and dodging the incompetent guards. He grabbed Furuta by the throat. The ice slithered down his legs now.  _This is treason._  "What else were you lying about? Your heritage? Your—"

Furuta snorted. "You think—" he eked out. "I would have chosen—this face? To look like a man I  _hate?"_

Ui hesitated. He had half a mind to release Furuta, throw him against the throne in disgust, but the swords unsheathing around him warned him not to. Furuta was his only chance.

Did he even want that chance? He loosened his grasp on Furuta's neck.  _I'm a monster. I'm a monster but_ — _I love her._ He thought of Hairu's sobs earlier that day.  _You want to kill her. You're scaring her._ "I love her," he managed, tears wriggling out and pouring, burning, down his face. "I do love her, and you're trying to take her away from me."

"Pity you didn't realize that earlier," Furuta sneered. "Because if you had, maybe she wouldn't have been chasing Arima. You realize that she was never yours, was she? She was always his."

Ui squeezed again. He could break the king's throat. Lose his own head, but that way he wouldn't have to see Hairu lose hers. She didn't deserve that. She deserved to live. Even without him.

 _No one will fight for her, will they?_ The Kuroiwas were too terrified. Ui gritted his teeth. He remembered Hairu shoving him into that fountain, cackling at him, all the times they fenced and she called him Koori, all the brainless antics he scolded her for and that she seldom stopped, and the shame he felt when she actually listened to him. "You're wrong," he choked out. "She was always—her own."

Furuta tried to laugh again. His face grew redder and redder, swelled. The guards inched closer, shouting orders at him.

_No one will help me now. Hirako's not even here._

_I'm going to die. I should die._

He thought of Mutsuki screaming earlier, and Suzuya, and Kaneki. That girl. The one he arrested. The one he might as well have murdered. Fueguchi. Hinami.

Ui backed up, Furuta in front of him as a shield. His stomach dropped. His parents would be so disappointed. Arima? It was impossible to know.

But Hairu might be proud.

Ui kicked Furuta away from him, sending him sprawling on the floor. Several guards rushed to check on him while Ui raced to the exit. A guard blocked him. Ui slashed at him. Another swung from behind— _of course_ —but Ui stepped on his toes and sent his sword through his abdomen. He broke out of the throne room, slamming the bar down the block the door behind him. Pounding echoed. It wouldn't be long before someone let them out or they broke down the doors.

Ui scrambled towards Arima's tower. He wheezed.  _Please_ _—God_ _—if you're there_ _—for Hairu_ _—not for me_ —

Ui almost slammed into Kaneki Ken as he descended his tower. Ui grabbed him, throwing him back against the wall. Kaneki gasped, fumbling for a knife.

"I'm here to help you," Ui managed. He didn't know what he was saying. He just knew he had to get out of here, that if he stayed Hairu would die. "They'll come for you, you know, after your outburst—they're coming for me. I just attacked the king—he's alive—" Ui was babbling. He clutched his skull. "I am not going to let them kill Hairu. If you want to save that servant girl, if you want to save Mutsuki, if you want to save  _any_  of them—come with me. We've got to get out of here." They'd come up with a plan. Somehow.

"Where?" Kaneki asked. He grasped Ui's arm and dragged him forward. "Come with me. I know a way out."

Ui blinked. "I—don't know."  _I'm a failure. In every way._

"I know where we can go," Kaneki said, voice soft.


	16. XV: Uncovered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wonderful," Eto proclaimed. "Now you're all my prisoners."

A knife flew out towards Ui's throat. The knight ducked.

"Stop; he's with me!" hissed Kaneki, leaping out in front of Ui. Ui scowled. He did not appreciate having to have Kaneki Ken protect him.

Rustling emerged from behind several trash heaps. The boy.  _The_  boy. He stood up, gaze fixating on Ui. And beside him stood Tsukiyama Shuu, and a small girl with magenta hair.

_Oh shit. Why did it have to be you three?_

"Is he now?" demanded the boy, storming towards Ui. "He arrested Hinami!"

"His girlfriend's been sentenced to die with Hinami!" Clouds rolled overhead. A scrap of moonlight dangled out between two wispy strands.

"Sentenced to  _die?"_ the boy barked. His fist swung out, colliding with Ui's face. Ui stumbled, tripping and falling back on his ass. His nose throbbed. Blood streamed down it.

"She's not my girlfriend," Ui mumbled.

"And my father? Matsumae?" cried out Tsukiyama. "Though it's odd she isn't your girlfriend. I always thought she was."

Ui gaped up at him. Kaneki stepped over Ui, protecting him from the boy who looked as if he was about to stomp on Ui's face. And he—he—he just attacked Furuta, he wasn't—

_Why did you go after the Tsukiyamas?_

_To save the woman I love._

He sacrificed the people Tsukiyama loved for a dream. And the boy… Fueguchi… he did it to save Arima. For her. Ui blinked, staring up at the clouds now masking the moon. His eyes stung from blood, from tears.

_I'm not a just man._

_I am a monster. I am selfish. I am no different than Furuta, am I?_

"We're on the run," Kaneki said. "We need to figure out a plan, not fight among—"

"Yeah? You have any ideas?" snarled the boy. His eyes glittered as he looked down at Ui. Ui pushed himself up on his elbows.  _I'm disgusting._

"I—" Kaneki swallowed. "I—"

"He should," interrupted another voice. Ui turned. A hand extended down to him. Hirako.  _Hirako_.

He gaped up at his friend. Hirako grabbed him, hauling him to his feet. Ui stumbled. He looked up at Hirako.  _This is all my fault. All of this. Because I was so focused on myself, on Hairu_ — _I love her_ — _I used that love for ugliness._

"We can't stay long," said a small voice next to Hirako. That kitchen woman Hirako danced with at the ball. Kaya Irimi. And next to her, Kirishima Touka. The servants. The commoners, the ones who were now saving him. Ui's throat closed up.

"We'll work from inside the palace," said Kirishima. "Calm down, Ayato. We don't have time to fight among ourselves."

Ayato glared at Ui. "If anything happens to Hinami—she saved me! It was her—her goodness—she's kind; she doesn't deserve—"

"I'd rather save them than overthrow a king," Ui whispered. It felt shameful to admit. The food he'd eaten earlier that day curdled in his stomach. The garbage stench almost gagged him.

Ayato cocked his head.

"You focus on saving them," said Hirako. "We'll do the other part, okay, Ui?"

Everyone looked to Kaneki. He gulped. Touka smiled at him, but Kaneki looked as if he'd like to crawl into one of the cracks in the wall lining the nearby bakery and ram himself inside there and never emerge. "I guess we'll—go see the witch."

"Huh?" Ui blinked.

"We don't have a choice," said Tsukiyama.

"Excuse me, what?" demanded Hirako.

"I used to work for her, idiots," snarled Ayato. "Also Kaneki and my stupid sister went to visit her."

"Her?"

" _You went to visit her?"_ Ui shrieked. "And you didn't tell—you—" He couldn't finish.  _How?_  How had Kaneki gone and not—

"Because we didn't want to rat out Ayato," Touka snapped. "Because he's my brother. She's terrifying."

"You have no right to speak, Bowl Cut," Ayato said. "Or I'll slit your throat."

Touka rolled her eyes. But then she focused on her brother. "Ayato, she said—she—"

"I don't give a fuck about her threats," said Ayato. "Tatara is on my side."

Friends with a former knight. Of course. Of fucking course. Ui felt like the world around him was spinning off its axis and like he didn't even know what was anchoring him in place anymore.

_I'm no hero of justice._

_I'm no hero._

_If I can be a hero who saves Hairu, even if she never wants me, that's all I want._

"We'll protect you," Tsukiyama declared. "And I'm going to—Kanae—" His voice broke. The magenta-haired servant clutched his elbow.

"Let's go," Kaneki said.

The walk down to Aogiri would take hours. Sweat dripped down Ui's spine. He kept his head lowered as the five of them make their way, silent. Laughter and the sound of an occasional wail split the air. Ui could hardly breathe.

"My family," Tsukiyama said finally. "You killed most of them, didn't you?"

Ui glanced over at him. His eyes narrowed. And he found he couldn't speak at all. His tongue sat thick and heavy in his mouth.

"I heard only my father and Matsumae were captured," Tsukiyama said, voice trembling. "And with Kanae already gone—"

"I wanted to save Hairu," Ui whispered.

"Is that your answer for everything?" Ayato demanded, disgust lacerating Ui. "' _I wanted to save someone?'_  Well, my excuse for slaughtering your king is that I wanted to live a life better than the kings offer us common people. How is that different? Arima Kishou killed my mother, you know. My  _mother_. And my father—he was killed long ago, too. At least we haven't seen him in years. How is that for a  _fair_  and  _just_  world like the one you were trying to protect, you coward?"

"Shut up," Ui eked out.

"Why should he?" asked the servant girl.

"What do you want me to say?" Ui burst out. "I—I thought—I—I just want to—"  _If I can save Hairu, I can be proud of something. One thing in this life._

_She deserves better than me._

He had only ever been ruining lives. Ui's head hung. Tsukiyama sniffled. And there were no answers, but there was a path they had to tread in front of them. They descended into the bowels of the city, the cobblestones breaking and crumbling, dirt coating the buildings, trees thick and ominous. Ui gulped. It couldn't be long before dawn.

An arrow shot by Ui's head, singing. He whirled around.

Cloaked figures emerges from the trees, lances and swords aimed at them. "Get on your knees," commanded one with a red mask.

* * *

"Wake up, Kanae," cooed a voice.

Water splashed onto her face. Kanae gasped, gagging on the liquid. Her arms were slung behind her, chained to a tree. Her face felt bruised from Eto knocking her around when she attempted to escape yesterday. Her eyelids were heavy, almost swollen shut.

"I think someone's here to see you," Eto said, yanked Kanae's head up by her hair. She groaned, a gag lashing through her mouth and rubbing the corners of her lips raw. For the past few days—or was it longer?—they gave her food and water, but kept her blindfolded until she tried to escape, and now her eyelids were so bruised they didn't need to bother with a blindfold. And every night, judging by the owl hoots, Eto would taunt her. " _What, another day without your knight in shining armor showing up for you? How sad. So unloved since your parents died."_

Kanae's chains clinked. Was Eto unlocking them? Her shirt hung in tatters. Kanae shivered.

"Drag her out for the show, Tatara," Eto ordered. Kanae cracked her eyes open. The witch sauntered away, long mint hair dangling. The sky brightened, casting the forest in a maroon light.

"How pleasant of you all to visit," Eto's voice crooned. Tatara hauled Kanae to behind a tree. The bark scraped her cheek. Kanae cringed. It stung. "I did warn you, Kirishima, that it would be your head if you—"

"We can't kill him!" objected another voice. Naki's. "He's a friend."

Eto snorted. "I can do what I want."

"And Kaneki, back so soon? With—are you a knight, pretty boy, or are you a prostitute dressing as a knight?"

"How dare you!" came Ui Koori's uppity voice. It was almost enough to make Kanae smile.

But Kaneki was here.  _Kaneki_. Why?

"And you, tiny human," Eto said. "And your master. Here at last. I must say, I thought that if you truly cared about your knight, you'd have come sooner."

 _No_. Kanae's heart skipped a beat. It couldn't be—no, Shuu shouldn't be here, he couldn't be—his father—no—

Tatara clamped his hand down over her mouth to keep her from screaming. Kanae struggled. He boxed her ears. She jammed her elbow into his crotch. He groaned.

"You have Kanae?" bellowed Shuu's voice. Tears streamed down Kanae's face.  _Not Shuu! Not Shuu_ —

"You bitch!" screamed Shuu. "Let him go!"

"Him?" scoffed Eto. She dissolved into a flurry of laughter. "Oh, Shuu, my dear boy. You don't even care about him."

"Yes I do! He's my—friend!"

Tatara ground Kanae's face into the dirt. She still kicked. Mud filled her mouth. She spat it out.

"He's your servant. If you actually cared about him you wouldn't have waited so long. And you would have found out that he wasn't who he said he was, but you wouldn't have cared, would you? You'd only care about what he could do for you. That's what you tell yourself you want—people who can do things for you, but you know you really want people, and yet you treat them like shit. You never even noticed that Kanae is in love with you." Eto cleared her throat. "Tatara, be a dear and bring precious Kanae out."

Tatara's hand closed in on the back of Kanae's neck, dragging her with him. She struggled. He struck her on the side of her face. Kanae fell to the ground, leaves crumbling under her palms.

She looked up to see his face. Shuu's. Gaping at her as he took in her appearance. And then she saw Tatara moving towards Shuu.

 _No!_ Kanae leaped to her feet. She saw Arunolt.

" _Run, Nathanael, Karren!" he bellowed, and the last image she had of him was his back turned, a sword in his hand._

" _Run, Karren, and don't stop until you're safe over the border," Nathanael told her, crouching down behind a huge oak to send her on her way. His hand caressed her face._

_She cried, tears running sticky down her face. "You'll come find me?"_

" _I promise," he said, and they both knew it was a lie._

Kanae kicked Tatara. He grabbed her shoulder. Her shirt tore.

"Relax, Kanae," said Eto, bored. "He was only going to cut your true love free." She clapped her hands. "Though, that does settle a little bit more of what I wanted to show you, Tsukiyama Shuu, Kanae. He never cared enough to notice you were a woman."

"What?" Shuu demanded. Kanae glared upwards, vision blurring. Tatara grabbed her shirt, stained and torn at the sleeve, and ripped it further, exposing her binding. Kanae cried out, covering herself.

"No one hurts her," Eto added.

"You already did, bitch!" came Chie's voice.

_Chie? Defending me?_

Tatara moved to free Shuu from his bonds, and Ui Koori next, and Kaneki. Kanae sat on her knees, shame curdling inside her.  _I lied to you._ Her arms crossed over her chest, holding tight. Her face burned. A bruise and scrape on her cheek smarted.

"Kanae!" Shuu grabbed her. She squinted up at him. "I was so scared," he babbled. "I thought you'd—I thought she'd drained your life—I needed—I couldn't—" He shrugged out of his shirt.

_He's shirtless._

He wrapped his shirt over her shoulders. His fingers brushed her chin, tilting her face up. Eyes watering, she met his, exposed.  _I'm a woman. I love you._

"What's your name?" he managed. A smile crossed his lips, as if he was actually happy to see her.

"Karren," she choked out. "Karren von Rosewald." He wasn't rejecting her. He was consoling her. He cared. She'd always known—no, she hadn't known. She'd dreamed. And him not loving her—he didn't have to. Karren cried.  _I'm so, so desperate. I'm so lonely._

_I just wanted to be loved..._

His eyes darkened as he traced her swollen skin. "What did they do to you?"

 _Why won't you love me? Nathanael, Arunolt, Mother, Father, Mirumo_ — _why didn't you care? Why did you die?_ But Shuu was here now. If he didn't love her, he cared. He cared. Tears streamed down her face.

"Wonderful," Eto proclaimed. "Now you're all my prisoners."

"We came to ask for your help!" Ayato shouted.

"My help?" Eto quipped. "What on earth?"

* * *

"We have to do something," Urie Kuki said, pacing across the room. He froze when he saw Akira.

She raised her hands. Hsiao's hand flew to her hip, where her sword dangled. Saiko whimpered. Higemaru and Aura glowered at Akira. "You want to help them?" Of course they did. Mutsuki was their friend. And Hsiao trained with Hairu as a child at the orphanage.

"No," snapped Urie. "And Kaneki's not here. Of course. Get out."

"I'm not going to—"

"Get out!" Urie yelled. His eyes sparked. He didn't trust her. Not in the least. And Akira couldn't fault him. Her chest ached. There was no one she could trust. No one left.

 _He's not here._  And somehow Akira knew, and Saiko too judging from the way her eyes glued themselves to her boots, that Kaneki had left for good. He wouldn't be coming back unless he was planning something. Akira swallowed. The loneliness closed in around her, sinking its teeth into her shoulders, tearing and tearing. "Bar your door next time," she said, backing up. "Or else someone with a far more nefarious intent might walk in."

She slammed the door behind her.  _Daddy, where are you?_

Akira walked in the Sunlit Garden. She dropped down on the side of the fountain where she talked with Hinami. The sky swelled dark above her. Tears pricked her eyes.  _Please, couldn't I at least see a star? Some sort of sign you're with me? Some sort of sign you'd approve?_

She rose and stared down at the water. It was too dark for her reflection to shine. Only blackness met her, shadows.

He might approve. He always wanted her to do the right thing. He might not. He always wanted her to obey.

Akira grabbed a pebble from the ground. She hurled it into the fountain with a splash.  _I'm sorry, Father._

_I'm not sorry._

Akira tightened her cloak around herself and rode out, towards the tavern where she'd agreed to meet Amon again. It was a fool's errand, her meeting him today of all days. But the moment Akira stepped foot into the tavern and saw him there, swirling the ale around in his mug, draped in a dark cloak, she grabbed him by the arm, pinching. "Let's go."

He followed her without a word. She dragged him into the alleyway.

"I heard," he said. "Are you going to turn me in?"

 _You really think I would?_  Tears burned. Akira shook her head. She wished she could throw the hood of her cloak off her head.

"Well, good," came a voice behind her. Akira jumped. She spun.

Takizawa leaned back against the wall, chewing on something. He spat onto the ground. His hair was white, unkempt. Akira grabbed him in an embrace. "Hey now, that's too fast!" he grunted.

"You're alive," she managed.

"And a traitor."

Amon said nothing, moving silently to stand beside her.

"I don't care," Akira choked out. "You're—my friend."

"What, you don't think you're better than me? Working out a plan with dear Koutarou to save my poor soul from the treasonous activities that have ensnared me?" Takizawa jeered. His eyes flashed.

"Help me!" Akira finally burst out. "I need—Kaneki's gone, Ui with him, Furuta's executing everyone—that girl—Hinami—she's going to be executed; I can't let that happen; I can't let—after what my father did—" Her voice broke. Her chest heaved.

"Why should I help you?" Takizawa demanded. His voice sounded strangled.

Akira shook her head. Amon stepped forward, but she grabbed his arm.  _Stop._

_I never helped you._

_But you never asked._

_But I saw._

Takizawa grabbed her, rubbing his hand over her shoulder blades. "We'll help you, Mado."

She sucked in her breath. She couldn't even thank him. She clung to him, and he held her.

"I have a good idea where they might be," came a voice from behind them. Akira jumped. A girl with dark hair— _Kurona!_ —and a girl with her hair in a ponytail emerged. "There's really only one place they could turn to if they wanted to overthrow the king. And I can show you where it is."

Akira swallowed. She glanced at Amon, at Takizawa.

"Well fuck," said Takizawa. "If I get to slit the throat of the people who killed my parents, won't this be worth it in the end?"

Amon groaned.

"Shut up, preacher boy."

"I'll go," Amon said. He hesitated. "Akira, not tonight, but the next night. The new moon." He rubbed his forehead. "Can you arrange a distraction for the king?"

"You have a plan already?" snorted Takizawa. "Figures." Kurona snickered.

"Yes," Akira said, though she didn't know how she'd do that. But if Hinami's life depended on it—Mutsuki's—she had to.

"Try to be back here at midnight tomorrow," said Amon, caressing her hair. "We'll come if we can to confirm plans."

_And if you can't, you might be gone._

_And it might really be all up to me_. Akira nodded. She stood on tiptoe, grabbing Amon's face, pulling it down to hers. She pressed her lips into his, opening his mouth.  _I can't waste any more time. I love you._

Akira turned and hurried back to the palace. When she got there, wracking her mind with possibilities for distractions, her feet carried her to a different place, a place she knew help would await her if she would just ask, even if she didn't deserve it. And she didn't deserve it.

_We were never better. Not because of our blood._

_We were only ever different because of our choices, and I_ — _made the wrong ones._

Akira wound through the maze-like corridors, ducking to avoid hitting her head on a low ceiling patch. She found her way to the kitchen, the smell of baked bread still hanging heavy in the air. Torches burned low as night bled into dawn outside. She raised her hand on the first door. She knocked.

A groan. And then some shuffling. The door swung open. Kirishima Touka stood there, hair mussed and a knife in her hand.

Akira flung her hands up again. "I'm here to help," she said. "I'm not going to let them execute Fueguchi Hinami."


	17. XVI: Dressing Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you need water?"
> 
> "Not from you," snapped Ui.
> 
> "Fine. Die then, Bowl Cut," she retorted.

"It's okay," Tsukiyama reassured Kanae. "It's okay."

It wasn't okay. Kaneki cringed. They were all tied around a thick tree trunk, standing, ropes lashed into their chests. The ropes were so tight they made breathing shallow and painful. Ayato cursed next to him. Chie whimpered. Kanae sobbed. Gnats buzzed around Kaneki's face, ticking his nostrils. He tried to avoid snorting them up by accident.

They had to get out of here. Kaneki strained, but the ropes wouldn't budge. A gnat flew into his eye. Ui looked as if he was about to have a conniption and drop dead. His face was pale and sweaty. He kept mumbling her name.

The woman with salmon hair guarded them. She frowned. "Do you need water?"

"Not from you," snapped Ui.

"Fine. Die then, Bowl Cut," she retorted.

"Miza," Ayato tried. "I have to—we have to get out. I have to save Hinami. She's a far better person than—I can't let her die."

Miza approached Ayato, helping him drink from a canteen. Kaneki's neck throbbed from turning to glance at them. "If I had anything better, I wouldn't be here either," she said.

"Better than murdering random people?" snarled Ui.

Kaneki contemplated stomping on Ui's toes. Miza regarded him. "Aside from the raid on the palace, we've hurt no one."

"You assassinated—"

"No. We didn't."

"Huh?" Kaneki blinked. She had no reason to lie—but— "Then why did you do it? Why?"

"And why did you capture Kanae?" demanded Tsukiyama.

"Try living this life," Miza said. "If someone comes around, offering you a happy ending, the kind of endings you've heard about in fairytales and read in storybooks, the kind that you thought were limited to people in a fancy castle above, wouldn't you cling to them? If you were starving and they offered you bread?"

"But why attack us?" hissed Kaneki. He strained again. Blood trickled down his wrists. _Why am I so weak?_ If Hinami died now—Mutsuki—it would be his fault—

A rustle echoed in the forest. Miza frowned. She pulled out her blade, disappearing behind a nearby bush. Her footsteps crunched twigs and leaves as she headed away.

"Evening, idiots," greeted a voice. "Scream and I'll leave you here."

"Hm?" Kaneki blinked.

Takizawa Seidou emerged from behind a nearby oak, brandishing a knife. He lunged towards Ui, who flinched, but Takizawa cut him loose. "Let's go, fools. We've got some fair maidens to rescue."

"What the hell?" gasped Ui, rubbing his wrists. "You—"

"Calm down," said Amon Koutarou's voice as he emerged. He fumbled to cut Kanae loose. "We need your help. We've been in touch with Akira and Touka inside the palace—we're getting rid of this miserable king. And firstly, we're getting those people out of that dungeon. No matter what."

"Who is _we?"_ demanded Tsukiyama, scrambling away from the tree and wrapping an arm around Kanae, who wilted. Kaneki swallowed. His heart pounded. _We might actually be able to do this._

"Me, Takizawa, Yasuhisa Kurona, and another—" Amon's voice cut off. "Shit."

Kaneki whirled as Takizawa freed Chie. He squinted.

Eto stepped out in front of them, smirking. Miza held a thin teenage girl with indigo hair, and a panting Yasuhisa Kurona emerged behind her, scowling as Tatara clutched her arm. "Sorry."

"Fuck," said Takizawa.

"Well, well, well," said Eto. "How good of you to decide to come, runaway traitors. Though I suppose if I've let Kirishima keep his head I can't very well take yours, can I, Tomoe?"

The teenager glared up at her. She kicked a root of one of the trees with her boot.

"You killed my family," said Takizawa.

"I did not," said Eto. "I didn't even capture your family, Takizawa Seidou. I paid someone to allow us into the palace and we had an entirely different target in mind than the royal family. But someone—" She curled her fist. "The witch inside the palace knew we would come. So, I suppose, Takizawa, we knew about your family. But we didn't capture nor kill them. Your sister's probably still alive, by the way. For now."

"There's more than one witch?" Kaneki squeaked. Kurona glanced at Takizawa, who breathed heavily. His hands shook.

Eto cocked her head. "That's what I just said, isn't it?"

"She's lying," said Amon.

"She's—not," Kanae mumbled, wrapped in Tsukiyama's arms. "I heard her talking about it."

Kaneki gulped. _There's a witch in the palace?_ "Is it Furuta?"

Eto snorted. "I have no interest in continuing this conversation."

"Let us go," said Ui, stepping in front of Kanae, Tsukiyama, and Chie. "You want the king overthrown? So do we."

"Help us," said Amon. "We can work something out—we need—"

"Ah yes," Eto said. "You'll work with me when I suit your desires, and then turn on me again, won't you? I know how you work, Amon Koutarou. And I want no more monarchy." She snickered and waved her hand. "Let her go, Miza. I won't stop you, but I won't help you either." A dark look filtered into her eyes.

 _Just like that? You're letting us go?_ Kaneki gaped.

"At the very least," Eto said as Kurona grabbed Tomoe and dragged her towards Takizawa. "You perform the acts of caring about people, don't you, Kaneki Ken, Amon Koutarou? Even if you only care about yourselves, you might fool people with your actions. That's more than Yoshimura Kuzen ever did."

Kaneki's heart pounded. An owl hooted.

"Get out of here before I change my mind," Eto said.

"You know she has something planned," Takizawa hissed as they scrambled away.

Kaneki couldn't be bothered to worry about it.

* * *

"How is this going to work?" wondered Akira. She grimaced, trying to knead the dough like Touka instructed her.

"Kimi's getting us that sleeping drought," Touka said, wiping sweat from her brow. "Nishiki promised."

Akira nodded. Touka sighed. This had to work. Akira was able to meet with Amon again last night, and it was—tonight. Now or never. Save Hinami or let her die.

Hirako had arranged for a banquet and invited the king, along with Akira. It was up to Touka to poison his meal, though she wasn't going to kill him because Yomo glared at her with a look that suggested he'd kill her if she did such a thing. They would capture Furuta and hold him hostage while the others broke the prisoners out of the dungeon, and then—if he was a witch and was executed, the sleeping victims would awaken. But Ui was insisting they give Furuta a trial. For whatever reason.

Furuta had to be the other witch. There was no other explanation.

"You don't have to help," Touka said again as Akira cussed, struggling with the glop monster that was her dough.

"I have to do something," Akira snapped.

"Why?" Touka demanded. "Because you feel guilty?"

Akira's shoulders rose. "So what if I do?"

Touka bit her lip. "I understand. I—hated your father."

Akira's magenta eyes slid over to her.

"I hated my father too," Touka said. "Because he did something wrong. He—after our mother was executed by Arima Kishou—he became so focused on giving us a good life that he—started stealing from all these nobles—I presume they killed him too because he left one day and never came back and I—I thought he was an idiot! I wanted to be with him, and Ayato did too, and he chose—revenge, things he could give us over—just his presence."

Akira said nothing. Her blond hair cloaked her face. Touka inhaled the smoky scent of the kitchen. "Didn't you want your father to be with you?"

"More than anything," Akira whispered.

 _Why did they do this? Why did they choose other things to prioritize_?

_Why weren't we enough?_

Akira gave her a small smile. Touka's lips parted. _We're the same._

"Hinami's a good person," Touka said. "She's a fast learner." She suspected Akira was more interested in righting her father's wrongs than in saving Hinami for Hinami's sake. "She learned to read quite quickly—she was teaching my brother how to read—she's bright, she's sweet, and she's kind. She'll do anything to make others happy." Touka gulped, eyes stinging.

Akira lowered her head. She said nothing.

"You can't blame a child for what her parents—"

"Then why are you blaming me?" Akira demanded, turning to face her. Flour stuck to her cheek.

"Because you're an adult," Touka said. "And you made your own choices, and you _had_ choices. The Fueguchis, they just wanted to survive, and they wanted Hinami to survive. Your father is the one who misunderstood and his jump to judgment cost them their lives."

Akira sucked in her breath.

The door swung open. Yomo entered, followed by Hirako.

Hirako held out a small indigo bottle. "Put this in his soup."

A chill ran down Touka's spine. She gulped and nodded, reaching for the bottle. She held it up in front of the flames, orange pinpricks of light sparking against the glass.

"Takeomi and Yoriko have agreed to help us," Hirako added.

Of course Yoriko did. For her. Touka bit her lip.

"I tried to talk to Urie Kuki, but he refused all visitors." Hirako shrugged.

Touka unscrewed the cap on the bottle and stared at the stew they were brewing, bubbling with beef and leeks and onions. She ladeled a small portion separately and dumped the potion in.

_This has to work._

_Kaneki, please. Come through._

* * *

"This is not going to work," Ui stated.

"Have a better plan, Bowl Cut?" jeered Ayato. He was so sick of this asshole's pretentious attitude.

"Sorry," Irimi said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "But it's the only way I can think of for you to get into the palace and specifically into the dungeons."

"It's not like _you'll_ have a hard time passing," Kurona taunted. Yoriko had let them into her bakery house for the time being, where they had all bathed and were about to enact their plan. Kaneki, Amon, Takizawa, and Chie would make their way to the banquet hall. Ui, Kurona, Tsukiyama, Karren, Hakatori, and Ayato were going to break into the prison.

Ayato still couldn't believe Hakatori had broken away from Aogiri too. Then again, she seemed like an aimless street child from the beginning. According to Tatara, she never had any sort of parents and had no memory of a roof over her head.

Kanae— _Karren_ shied away, refusing to look at Tsukiyama as she studied the gown in front of her. Bruises and scrapes marred her cheeks and temples. A split lip could be covered in lip paint, according to Yoriko. Tsukiyama had been fussing over her since they arrived, but she seemed to be scared of him.

Ayato related. It was how he felt with Touka in that palace. He held up the frilly gown he was supposed to change into. He grimaced. But it was for Hinami's sake. He would do what he had to to save her. "So I guess you don't really love Lady Hairu, do you?"

Ui grabbed the black silk dress and glared at him. He turned and stalked out of the room.

"Let me help you!" called Tsukiyama, trotting after him. Ayato snorted.

"I've never worn anything like this before," whispered Hakatori, holding up the gray satin gown Yoriko had procured for her.

"I can help you put it on," suggested Kurona, glancing at her red one. Karren fingered with her lavender one, face pale. "And I can help you too, Karren."

Ayato didn't need help. He stalked off to a deserted pantry, shrugging out of his britches and shirt and into a petticoat. Except. Except. This—whatever it was—that went over his chest—he could not lace it up. Ayato cursed, stumbling backwards and knocking over a pile of oranges. "Fuck!"

"Need help?" called Irimi.

"No!" Ayato grunted.

"I'm coming in." Irimi barged into the pantry, snorting when she saw Ayato struggling. "Let me help you."

"Do I have a choice?' Ayato snapped.

"You always have a choice," Irimi said.

He scowled. "Help me, then."

Irimi approached and helped lace up this ridiculous undergarment, and then helped him into the gown. She combed his hair back, and Ayato wondered what it would be like if his mother had lived, if his father might still be around. She handed him a pair of oranges, and Ayato scowled as he stuffed them down his top.

"Are you sure they won't recognize me?" asked a voice from the doorway. Ayato tried to turn. This goddamn dress was so heavy. Who the hell thought this kind of outfit was a practical idea?

Karren crossed her arms, a dress tight across her chest and with a rose in her hair. Irimi shook her head. "I doubt it."

"All set!" called Tsukiyama's voice. He fluttered out, Ui scowling behind them but rouge and red lips slathered on both their faces. Prostitutes, they all were pretending to be. Tsukiyama reached for Karren. She stiffened.

 _I thought you were head over heels for him._ Ayato frowned. Was she that embarrassed to be found out as a girl? Tsukiyama hung his head.

Takizawa let out a roaring laugh. Ayato glowered at him.

"Shut the fuck up, you," snarled Kurona, adjusting her scarlet ensemble.

Takizawa raised his hands. "Okay, okay." His gaze lingered over her, though. Ayato scoffed.

Dusk settled over the city, deep blue bleeding over tangerine and salmon. Yoriko had already disappeared off to the banquet. Ayato's heart pounded. Under his dress, daggers clung to his thighs and calves, strapped with garters. Ui concealed his sword inside his skirt.

The groups split halfway to the palace. "Stay safe, idiots," Kurona told Amon and Takizawa.

Ayato snorted. Kaneki looked as if he was the color of milk. His hands trembled. "Hey," said Ayato, catching his arm.

Tsukiyama snorted. Ayato contemplating kicking the man but he wasn't sure he could find his balls under all that lace. "Get it together," he hissed at Kaneki. "My sister is counting on you. Don't be a half-assed bastard, okay?"

Kaneki gulped. He nodded.

A flock of crows flew overhead, crossing the dark sky. Ayato squinted as they made their way to the palace.

"Why hello!" called out Kurona, sashaying to the front of their group. Her hair swung in the breeze.

"Screw off, whore," snarled the guards.

Ayato blanched. They couldn't back off. Not now.

"We've been sent to meet with Haisaki and some guards," Kurona purred, her hand landing on one of the guard's shoulders. Ui dropped his gaze.

"Well, they're all pretty," breathed another guard. "'Specially that one." He nodded at Ui.

Even in the torchlight, Ayato saw Ui's face turn red. Tsukiyama looked as if he had been given the greatest of gifts, even better than if Kaneki had just professed his love for him. His eyes bulged and a grin split his lips. Karren's eyebrows flew up.

"This one looks like she likes it rough," teased the first guard, pushing Kurona away and grabbing Karren's arm. "Or did you stiff a customer, sweetheart?" Hakatori's hand flew towards her chest. _Is_ that _where you hid your dagger_?

Ayato felt one of the oranges shift. He bit his lip. _Don't you dare fall out, fake boob_.

"She's not for sale," Kurona said. "I mean, not for you. Haisaki—"

"He didn't mention an orgy to me."

"Does he usually run all plans past you?"

The guard raised his hand and brought it down across her face, chainmail and all. Fury sparked in Ayato. Ui looked horrified. "Don't backtalk me."

"What do you want?" hissed Kurona.

"A little payment."

Hakatori yanked out her knife. Kurona burst into laughter. "What are you going to do after I kick you in the balls, idiot? Haisaki's more important around here than you. You can't rat him out for hiring a bunch of prostitutes and admit they kicked your ass."

"Excuse—"

His companion let out a groan. Karren had slammed a rock down on his head. _Not bad,_ Ayato thought. The loud one spun around to get Kurona's foot directly in the crotch, as promised.

"Good luck having future children," Kurona taunted.

"Are they always this despicable?" Ui hissed as they entered the castle grounds.

"What do you think?" said Kurona.

"This way," Ui said, guiding them towards the dungeons. It was almost impossible to see. Silence reigned over the palace grounds. Ayato's heart pounded. In the distance, there were some dark blobs. Were those the guillotines lined up, ready and waiting to feed tomorrow?

_I'm coming, Hinami._

* * *

"Urie, where are you going?" demanded Saiko's voice.

Urie jumped. His hand clutched his sword. Furuta was in that stupid banquet, enjoying fancy delicacies and laughing while Mutsuki suffered in a cell and Kaneki ran off like the traitorous coward he was. Urie hadn't even been allowed to _see_ Mutsuki, but rumor had it Furuta would order him lashed tomorrow. Except since Mutsuki's body was female, Urie wasn't certain that could be done. And it was a risk he wasn't taking.

No matter what Mutsuki had done, Urie needed to save him.

"He's distracted," Urie said, voice cracking. "I'm going to—" _Let him go._

And then what? Let Mutsuki go to find Kaneki, to find his cowardly true love? Urie pinched the orb Mutsuki had gotten him from that charm-seller. _It's what he wants!_ he yelled at himself. He didn't have the right to ask for anything else from Mutsuki.

"They won't let you in," Saiko said, shuffling towards him. She sniffled, tears running down her cheeks. "I already tried earlier today—"

"I know, Saiko."

"If you're caught, they'll hang you," warned another voice. Hsiao emerged, holding a torch. She was already wearing armor. Higemaru and Aura appeared behind her. "Or guillotine—"

Armor. Shit. "All of you stay here then!" Urie snapped. "If you think you're coming, you've—"

"Mucchan's my friend too!" Saiko cut in, stomping her foot. "I love him! He's family!"

Urie's breath caught in his throat.

"You'll have to stab all the guards or knock them all out to get them out of there," snarled Hsiao. "You really think you can do that on your own?"

"I knew," said Aura quietly. "I mean—I—saw Mutsuki coming back covered in blood from the ball—I—didn't say anything—because I hated the commoners for what they did to my aunt." His shoulders shook. "I still hate them for it. I hate them."

"You realize Mutsuki will be one if he escapes, don't you?" Hsiao retorted.

Higemaru cringed. "Everyone, please—I don't want to fight. I just want to save Mutsuki."

If they all helped, then there's no way Urie would be able to keep it a secret. He'd have to say goodbye to his squirehood, to becoming a knight. _My father will be so disappointed in me._

"You love him," Saiko said. "Urie loves Mutsuki."

"What?" yelped Aura.

"I thought that was obvious," Hsiao said. "He's always staring."

"I do not!" Urie shouted. His face burned. _How_ — _how_ —

"That's all you need," Higemaru said, unsheathing his sword. "Let's go."

 _It is not!_ Urie opened his mouth, ready to rip into the optimistic kid's naïveté. He felt cold, and his knuckles ached from clutching air, like he used to clutch his blankets the nights after his father died. _Come back!_

 _I'm already disappointed in_ you _, Father._

Urie turned and stormed out of the tower.


	18. XVII: When Illusions Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Victory," Furuta said, a smirk on his face. "Is mine."

"Greetings, greetings!" Furuta stood at the head of the table, beaming at them all. Akira's heart pounded. Hirako, Takeomi, his father, and Yoriko all stood there, along with Houji and Kanou, who clearly had no idea what was about to happen. Lady Kimi stood with her hands clasped, expression enviably calm. Akira forced her skull to stay riveted on her neck, her eyes glued to the king, even though her anxiety kept trying to pull her head back, force her to swivel her gaze to see if Amon and Takizawa, Kaneki and Hori, were here yet.

"I must say, this was such a surprise invitation," Furuta continued. "Take a seat."

Akira dropped into the high-backed chair padded with red velvet. A golden chandelier glittered above, scattering diamonds of light across the meal of roast venison with plums, dropping flames into the goblets of crimson wine.

Nishiki and Touka entered the room, heads bowed as they carry platters of seafood soup. The salted smell of prawns and fish set Akira's stomach aflame. She clutched her goblet so tightly the carvings pricked her palms.

_We can't fail._

For a moment she saw her father sitting at the head of the table, rather than Furuta. Akira shifted. The wine stung her stomach.

"You know," Furuta continued as Touka set the bowl of soup in front of him. Her eyes met Akira's, and Akira forced herself to inhale normally. This was it. That was the soup. "Why don't you stay, servants? It seems like you've been through a lot lately, what with first Fueguchi, and then Kaneki Ken, being traitors."

"We are not traitors like them, sir," Nishiki replied so instantly that Akira couldn't help but admire his skill.

Furuta nodded. "But if we are to have a united kingdom, servants and nobles, commoners and royalty—why can't we sup from the same table, the same meal? You prepared it after all."

Touka clutched her skirts. "Then who would serve?"

"We could all serve ourselves," Furuta insisted. "There are empty chairs. Take two. Well, one each, really."

Nishiki and Touka exchanged a look, but they obeyed.

"It's been quite stressful," Furuta continued. "Taking over such a fraught kingdom. Finding traitors everywhere. Even Ui Koori disappointed me, you know." He swirled the goblet.

Takeomi cleared his throat. He dipped his spoon into the soup. Akira followed suit.

"And you, finding that girl had a magic mirror in your own house!" Furuta exclaimed, turning to Kuroiwa Iwao. "How horrific."

"We were all stunned," he replied, ducking his head. Akira listened. Were those footsteps she heard?

Furuta leaned forward. "And you, Houji."

Houji was oblivious, along with Kanou. Akira hoped Iwao would be able to subdue the knight quickly once Furuta fell. Though, the king wasn't eating yet.

"The soup's delicious," Yoriko chirped.

"Is it?" Furuta sniffed. "Indeed. But first, I have something I need to show you all." He reached down. "You see, it turns out, magic mirrors can be immensely helpful. Who knew, right? We should all have them."

"Excuse me?" Akira burst out. She couldn't keep it in. Her spoon clattered into her bowl with a splash.

Furuta held Hairu's magic mirror aloft. "Oh, it's so fun to watch and see what others are doing! Show me Kaneki Ken!"

The mirror began to glow. Akira yelped. Yoriko clutched Takeomi's arm.

"Have you gone mad?" Houji erupted, aghast. "You are the king! You cannot—"

"'You are the king' and 'cannot' do not go in the same sentence," Furuta informed him. He rose, climbing onto his chair. Touka clutched the table. Nishiki glanced in a panic at Kimi, and Akira, she clutched the goblet again, feeling as if the entire room was spinning and spinning and spinning and she needed this plan to work, it had to work, it was their only hope, and yet—

"Oh my," crooned Furuta. "Is that a surprise? Not to everyone in this room, I'm venturing." He thrust the mirror at them. "For it looks like the good Kaneki Ken is making his way to this very room! Along with—well, would you look at that!"

Kaneki, Amon, Takizawa, and Hori all crept down the bannered halls. Akira leapt to her feet. Her goblet crashed to the floor. Houji stood, grabbing his sword.

"No, you don't!" shouted Takeomi, yanking out his sword. He leveled it at Houji.

"What is this?" bellowed Houji.

"What do you think?" snarled Akira. "It's a coup." She pointed a shaking finger at Furuta. "You're—involved. I know it. I know it.  _You_  are the traitor!"

"Hm." Furuta was one of two people who remained seated. The other was Kanou, looking stunned and also—amused? Furuta stroked his chin. "Mirror, mirror, do show who the traitor to the throne is."

The mirror began to glow again. Akira grasped her sword, pulling it out from the confines of her skirt. Nishiki grabbed Kimi.

"Oh my," Furuta cooed. "Well, would you look at that?"

The mirror reflected his own face. A grin broke over Furuta's face.

Hirako grabbed Yoriko, dragging her away from the fray. Houji's arms trembled as he looked from Takeomi to Akira to Furuta. "What is—"

"You pathetic fool," Furuta cackled. "You think loyalty to a chair makes you a decent person? Whatever happened to loyalty to the squire who served you so diligently all those years, the squire you loved like a son? But when his family had been murdered and you saw their heads, well, you showed just what you thought of family and love. You turned on him like you turned on the man you considered a brother once. Tell me, Houji, is this the only way you can sleep at night, with Yan's sword in your hands?"

Houji's chest heaved. The sword shook. Iwao, Hirako, Nishiki, Touka, and Akira all leveled their blades at Furuta instead. Takeomi gave Houji a pleading look, turning to aim at Furuta instead. "You are not my enemy, Houji."

"You're all still loyal to a chair," crooned Furuta. "How pathetic." He giggled. "Shall we surprise Kaneki Ken?"

"What are you talking about?" shrieked Touka.

The heavy, carved wooden doors slammed open, banging against the ornate walls. Kaneki, Amon, and Takizawa all drew out swords. And yet Akira felt no relief, but only more panic scraping at her.

A page, Hajime, ran into the room. He skidded to a stop, his jaw falling open.

"Oh, dear, oh dear," cooed Furuta, clutching his chin. "There are so many of you, and only one of me!"

Kanou got to his feet.

"Victory," Furuta said, a smirk on his face. "Is mine."

* * *

Ui's heart pounded as they crept down the stairs into the dank dungeon. Mildew reeked. This skirt was cumbersome and he didn't like it. His hand fumbled for his weapon as they reached the bottom of the staircase. Torches flickered along the moist walls, leading towards the dungeon. Ui didn't see Haisaki. The sound of a rat scurrying nearby sent shivers down his spine.

"Halt!" bellowed a voice behind them.

Swords shrieked as they were yanked out of their sheaths. Ayato, Karren, and Hakatori all aimed. Kurona raised her eyebrows. Karren stepped in front of Tsukiyama, a gesture that made his eyes water.

Urie Kuki marched towards them, the other squires of Kaneki's fanning out behind him. Saiko cried out when she recognized them. Aura's mouth fell open. Hsiao's gaze focused on Ui, her lips trembling.

"Drop your weapons," Ui said. "I don't want to do this, Urie Kuki. You don't stand a chance against a fully trained knight." But nothing could stop him from getting to Hairu. Nothing.

"Not a chance," snarled Urie. His eyes sparked.

" _You,"_ Higemaru burst out. Ui glanced over. He was talking to—Hakatori? "Why are you here? What are you doing here? We won't let you take more victims—I thought—I thought—you might not be like that—"

"Why did you save me?" erupted Hakatori.

 _Huh? When?_ Ui didn't understand.

"You shouldn't have," she added. Her hands shook as she aimed her blade.

"You're serving a false king," Tsukiyama said. "We're here to overthrow him."

"Shut up," hissed Ui.  _Why would you say that, you goddamn idiot?_ The torches sent shadows skittering like cockroaches over the damp stone.

"From the dungeons?" demanded Urie.

"You're saving them, aren't you?" cried out Saiko. She dropped her sword with a crash, clasping her hands to her face. "So are we! We're here to save—Mutsuki—"

 _Oh?_ Ui watched the orange light wave and squirm over Urie's face. He thought of Shirazu. He thought of Arima. Both lay upstairs, alive but cursed.

 _We've both chosen the ones who are still alive, haven't we? The ones we can hear crying._ He lowered his sword. Ayato followed suit. Karren kept hers trained.

"Why do you look like whores?" asked Hsiao, amused.

"To get into the palace," said Kurona. "Or did you think everyone here was a saint?"

"On the contrary," Hsiao retorted, sheathing her blade. "I know far more about this place and its skeletons than you."

Ui didn't have time to wonder about what she meant.

"You saved a traitor?" asked Urie, turning to Higemaru.

"What the hell do you think you're doing now, Diamond Eyes?" snapped Ayato. "Does it matter? The crown is corrupt and we're taking it down. Get in line or run away with whomever you're saving."

Higemaru nodded without flinching. "No one—dying is irreversible, you know. Haven't we seen enough die? She looks like she's our age, or my age at least—to kill her—"

 _You see her as a human. Even though she's a commoner, even though she worked with the witch_. Ui's chest ached. If Hairu had actually been working with the witch, would he still save her?

_Yes._

Without question.

He stared at the titian light pooling on his palms. He thought of all the people he had had executed, without even stopping by their cells to ask them their stories. Nausea clutched his esophagus, strangling him in the sensation.

"Thank you," Hakatori said stiffly.

Higemaru glanced at her. He nodded.

"We should go together, shouldn't we?" asked Saiko, skipping ahead. "Tsukiyama! I'm glad you're all right! Is Kaneki—"

"He's fine," Ui said. "He's upstairs. With Amon and Takizawa and Hori."

Urie nodded, falling in line behind them. His eyes darted about, as if he was still trying to choose between his father, long buried, and the person in the cell. Ui stopped.  _You love him. Mutsuki.  
_

"What?" asked Urie.

Ui shook his head.

"And what," came a voice. "Is this?" Haisaki stood there, folding his arms across his chest. Guards fanned out behind him. And among them, Ui spotted Tokage. His heart skipped a beat.

"I presume you're not going to hand over the keys," said Urie.

"We've got things to break in," said Ayato.

Ui yanked his sword back out. His heart pounded.  _I'm one of the best fighters we have_. "Hsiao, Karren, Urie." He met Ayato's eyes, the eyes of the boy he tried to arrest. "Save her, please." His voice cracked.

Ayato looked at him, face painted, jewelry dangling from his ears. He yanked it off and nodded. "I promise."

"Go," Urie directed the others. Saiko gripped Hsiao's hand before darting down the hallway.

"Don't you dare die," Tsukiyama told Karren. "Not again. I can't—leave—" His chest heaved.

"I can fight," Kurona said. "Karren—h _o_." She yanked off her skirts, down to just her petticoats. And judging by how she handled her knives, she knew what she was doing.

Karren hesitated, and then she ran after Tsukiyama. Ui swung first, his sword clashing against a guard's shield. Tokage cackled, laughing wildly.

Ui aimed for the legs, cutting the tendons. Kurona threw a knife that barely missed Ui's cheek. He turned to see Haisaki falling to the ground behind him, her blade buried in his eye. "Thanks."

She nodded, turning to cut at Tokage. Urie kicked Tokage's legs out from under him. "It's over! Your king is done for!"

"Like I care," rasped Tokage. Hsiao finished slammed one guard's head against the wall and kicked him away. Kurona let out a scream as she grabbed Haisaki's keys. Ui turned.

A guard scrambled up the steps, going for help, obviously. Ui scrambled after him. The guard was prepared. He kicked out, sending Ui flying back. He slammed into the floor. The impact knocked the breath out of him. Ui wheezed.

"We'll just have to be fast, then," Urie said, swallowing. He kneeled on Tokage's chest. "Knock him out, Hsiao."

Kurona held her hand down to Ui, helping him up.

Tokage laughed. "You think you'll be able to do anything? You think it'll be a good thing to save your Tooru? Do you know what he is? You heard he killed his family, didn't you? Killed cats? I helped him do that, you know. Watching him suffer was all I ever wanted. How you can take an innocent child and watch them turn into a monster in an effort to lick their wounds. Suzuya. Mutsuki. Hazuki. And he—you saw him—you know he will never love you, right? He's too broken for that. His father used to use him like a wife—"

Urie raised his fist and brought it down. Again, and again, and again. Tokage's skull thudded against the stone.

"Stop!" bellowed Ui. But the word felt hollow. Was what Tokage said true? And if it was—condemning Mutsuki for it—killing was always wrong—but—wasn't it—could he—if someone had done that to Hairu—Ui's hands shook. He clutched his side. Broken rib, probably.

Hsiao kicked Tokage's face, knocking the grin off. His eyes slid shut. Blood streamed from his mouth.

" _Koori!"_

Ui leapt to his feet, cracked ribs forgotten. He saw her. Running towards him, dressed in a simple shift, feet bloody, eyes red, hair mussed. And the scream echoing wasn't coming from her mouth. It came from his.

He grabbed her in his arms, holding her tight. His chest shook, his ribs burning in agony. Tears fell from his eyes. She was in his arms, her heart was beating, she was breathing, she was here.

Hairu pulled back. Her lips curved. A snort emerged. "You look pretty as a girl, Koori."

Ui could only gasp. It took him time to force the words out of his mouth. "You're—alive."

"Great," said Kurona. "We don't have much time—let's get the rest."

"I'll explain later," Ui managed. "Furuta's—an evil king, he's working—he's not good—"

"She knows," Hsiao said. "Hairu and I, we both know."

_Huh?_

* * *

Urie snatched the keys from Kurona and stumbled down the corridor. They jangled in his hands.

"What the hell is going on?" groused Marude as Saiko, Higemaru, and Hakatori pulled him out of his cell. Aura rocked back and forth, biting his knuckles.

"I'm gonna get you out of there," that boy's voice promised. Urie skidded to a stop, watching as he fumbled to break the lock trapping Fueguchi.

"You came," Fueguchi eked out, tears in her eyes. Her gaze hardened when it landed on Urie.

"He's with us," the boy reassured her. His voice caught, and guilt like rocks fell into Urie's stomach as he remembered just how cruel he was to Fueguchi when he interrogated her.

He stepped forward. "I have the keys."

The boy straightened, backing up. Urie fumbled with them, trying to find the right one. The first didn't fit. The second wouldn't turn. The third, the fourth—finally, the fifth. Urie let out his breath as the door swung open.

The boy grabbed Fueguchi in a hug. She gasped. He pulled back, clearing his throat as if he was embarrassed.

"Aren't you going for one of your friends?" the boy demanded to Urie. He nodded, scrambling around the corner to find Tsukiyama and Kanae struggling to break into another of the doors. Finally, Karren yanked the lock. It clattered to the ground, and that governess or knight or whatever she was—Matsumae—emerged. She threw her arms around Tsukiyama like a mother and squeezed Kanae's shoulder. "It's good to see you."

Kanae swallowed.

"Hey, Tsukiyama," Urie barked, holding up the keys. "Where's your father?"  _And where's Mutsuki?_

"Mucchan!" Saiko's voice reverberated as she, Higemaru, and Aura raced through the corridors, shouting for him. But the sounds just echoed. No answer came. Fear clawed at Urie's chest, embedding cold claws into his sternum. He fought for air.

" _Mutsuki!"_

Matsumae directed them to Tsukiyama Mirumo's cell. Urie struggled to find the right key, swearing.

"Father," Tsukiyama called. "I'm coming. We're getting out of here. We're rescuing you, Father—me and Kanae—Karren—" He looked up at Kanae, eyes wide. The knight said nothing.

" _Tooru!"_

The thirteenth key finally slid in. Urie twisted it, and the door opened, and Tsukiyama grabbed his father in an embrace, crying. Something scraped at the back of Urie's throat. His father only embraced him like that on one anniversary of his mother's death, the mother he didn't even remember.

But Mutsuki. He had to find him. Clanking echoed. Urie darted away. " _Mutsuki!"_  he bellowed.

"Here!" cried Higemaru, gesturing towards one of the cells. "I can see him!" This one had a full door, but through the window, Urie saw Mutsuki curled up in a ball, head against his knees. Panic burned. Mutsuki had to be all right. He had to be.

Aura wilted, cowering against the wall despite his size. Urie felt disgust. And then Aura met Urie's eyes, and Urie saw the same anguish that poisoned him, paralyzing him when he watched Tsukiyama and his father embrace.  _What prison are you in, Aura?_

Shouts echoed in the distance with the clanks. Reinforcements had to be arriving by now. Urie cursed. "Come on!"

Finally. The lock opened. Urie kicked the door and raced in. "Mutsuki! Mutsuki." He dropped to his knees. Mutsuki's chest rose and fell.  _He's alive._  Urie let out a gasp of relief. He grabbed Mutsuki's shoulder. It was cold. "Mutsuki? I'm here. We're here. For you."

_I love you._

He thought of what Tokage had said. Fury welled up inside him.  _I love you. It changes nothing._

Mutsuki's eyes cracked open, turning to look at him. They looked glazed, lost. Urie hoisted him up, slinging his arm over Urie's shoulder. And then the sound of laughter rumbled through the cell. Tokage's laughter.

"You'll never be Kiyoko," Tokage warned.

"Leave him alone!" shouted Hsiao's voice.

"And that crazy—"

"Saiko loves Mucchan!" Saiko screamed in his face, a sob erupting.

Mutsuki blinked, lifting his head.

"See?" Urie told him, still struggling to breathe. "You're family. We came for you."

Tokage's laughs stopped. Higemaru shrieked.

Urie yanked Mutsuki out of the cell. A sword protruded from Tokage's stomach. He slumped over. Mutsuki flinched, clutching Urie's arm.

Suzuya stood behind Tokage. "Back up's here."

 _For_ us, Urie realized, dizzy.  _People_ _—really do care_.

"Mutsuki," Suzuya added, reaching for him.

The palace trembled, stone walls swaying. Dust fell from the ceiling. Hakatori yelped, grabbing Higemaru.

"What's that?" bellowed Saiko.

"The world's most dramatically timed earthquake?" eked out Hsiao. "Or—"

Dread built within Urie, starting in his toes. " _Run_!"

* * *

"What are you doing?" Houji croaked out. Nishiki grabbed Kimi. Takeomi grabbed Yoriko. Touka's eyes found Kaneki's across the table, fear pulsating through her.

"Winning," Furuta said, flipping his hair back as he slumped back into his chair. He snapped his fingers.

The floor vibrated under Touka's shoes. She stumbled back.

"What's happening?" cried out Yoriko. Takeomi dragged her back. Akira clutched the table.

 _We were right. He is a witch_ _—right?_  Touka thought of Ayato and Hinami and the others, below the palace in the dungeons. The chandelier trembled, glass diamonds clinking against one another. The goblets and uneaten bowls of soup tipped over, spilling on the table.

The door flew open.  _Yomo_. And Uta, and Itori. And Irimi, Koma, Yoshimura. " _Stop!"_  bellowed Yoshimura.

"Too late," purred Furuta. He laughed as his chair bounced and bounced.

"It's enough!" shouted Yoshimura. "Enough—I—"

"Oh, is it?" shouted the jester's voice. Roma. Nico stood behind her. Touka stumbled, trying to maintain her balance on the undulating floor. Akira fell. Takizawa let out a shout, scrambling to get over to her. The chandelier swung above. A crack echoed as one of the chains attaching it to the ceiling popped.

"You see," Furuta said. "This requires a great deal of magic, I'm afraid."

"Make it stop!" screamed Hajime, clutching his ears.

"Can't you hear it?" crooned Furuta. "The magic coming?"

"Nishiki!" cried Kimi. "He's—"

Kaneki gaped at Touka. She shook her head. The only sound she heard was screams echoing across the entire palace.

Amon moved towards Hajime, reaching for the child. Yomo lunged for Touka. Yoshimura shoved his way into the room. The chandelier crashed to the table, shattering the wood. Irimi shoved Hirako to the side, out of the way. They tumbled to the ground. Takeomi shielded Yoriko. Furuta fell back, still giggling. Yoshimura grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. Furuta dangled in the air. "Stop it!"

Houji raced towards Furuta, drawing his sword. "Stop if you want to live, Furuta!"

"I'm not doing anything, though," Furuta managed, a grin on his face. "And I don't."

 _"Nishiki!"_  yelled Kimi.

And then Touka realized Kanou was still standing. Not just standing. Levitating himself. And his arms were outstretched, and aimed across the table. Aimed at Kaneki.

" _No!"_  Touka screamed, the word erupting from her throat. She scrambled to get to her feet. The shuddering sent her flying backwards. She caught a glimpse of Yoshimura's face. Shock. And defeat.

Kaneki screamed then, the sound reverberating again and again in Touka's head. She covered her ears—no, she yanked her hands away—" _Kaneki!" I'm not letting you die; I'm not letting anyone hurt you!_  "I'm coming!" she shrieked. "Kaneki, I'm—I'll kill you—bastard—"

A roar echoed. Touka got to her knees. Her ankle stung. She saw Kaneki then, eyes turning to her, eyes growing larger than his face, his face exploding, his arms transforming, his body turning into a twisted red skin, enormous, erupting.

Fire bathed the room. Touka slammed herself to the ground again, a plate shattering against her spine. She covered herself, feeling the heat sear the hair on her head, her skirts.

_A dragon._


	19. XVIII: Ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're not a king anymore. Everyone hates you. You've lost everything. You have nothing left. You did all this for nothing. And the reason is because you are nothing."

The boiling air seared Akira's lungs. Her spine felt as if something had crushed it. She twitched her toes. At least they could still move. Smoke, acrid and thick, jabbed its way into her nostrils. She hacked. She moved her shoulders and something stabbed into her upper arm.

The ceiling had collapsed, falling down on them all. Porcelain shards from a shattered plate sliced her palms. A huge stone, clearly part of the walls, had landed not more than a centimeter from her legs. Her ears rang and rang. And then she heard thundering, like the footsteps of a dragon. Another chunk of plaster fell, cracking against Akira's back.

 _Kaneki._ Akira screamed, but she could only hear a tiny cry. This—this was a fate worse than the one that had befallen her father.

_Kanou_ _—was a witch all along?_

This was her fault. She should have just killed Furuta instead of staging this elaborate plan—a plan she only concocted because she was afraid, afraid of disappointing her father, afraid she wouldn't be able to do it, afraid everyone would hate her father as an extension of her if it went wrong.

Tears ran down her scalded face. The salt stung. Her father always taught her to trust her intuition. Well, this time she didn't. And—but if she were to trust him—he had messed up—more than messed up—he murdered the Fueguchis. _Murdered_.

He was a murderer.

 _No!_ Akira leaned over, coughing. Drool dribbled down her chin. _He was just afraid!_

_So?_

She pounded her fist into the dusty floor. Glass embedded itself. Fear—fear was no excuse. Not for her. Not for her father. Especially such a selfish fear, fear of what people would say, fear that if they said you were incompetent for not finding the witch that took Rize, you actually were.

 _You didn't have any sort of faith in yourself, did you? Not since Mother died. You blamed yourself. It was your fault_ _—all that confidence_ _—it was all a lie_ —no, not a lie—a toxic armor concocted from lies, fragile though it was painted to look like the kingdom's finest steel— _didn't you trust me? Didn't you think I would love you anyways? Or was my love not what you wanted? Was it all just Mother's love, her forgiveness, that you wanted?_

And he had cursed Amon with the same self-righteousness. _You were more a witch than the Fueguchis, Father._ They were just trying to feed Hinami. They passed down to her love, an appreciation for beauty in the word, goodness. Her father passed down ruthlessness, not just to Amon, but to her.

And intuition. And hers had been correct, though she hadn't listened to it.

_No, my father was a monster!_

_No, he was a man._

Akira laid her cheek against the filthy floor. The crunching, shuddering footsteps of Kaneki faded, but she was still afraid to move. If she moved, he might eat her, or send fire at her. Tears glued the dirt to her face.

But if they stayed here, they would all burn to death. Or suffocate from the smoke. Her intuition whispered to her.

Akira's hearing slowly returned. She could hear cries echoing all around her. People were hurt. Of course. Akira grabbed the plaster and threw it off herself. She lifted her head over half of the table, smashed in front of her, and peered around the room.

Takeomi had Yoriko in his arms. Blood streamed from her temple. And his father—Iwao—Takeomi's mouth hung open as he screamed for him, but he wasn't coming back. Blood poured from his throat. Kanou stood laughing like a demon in the flames. Furuta stood next to him, trembling, half his face burned off. Yoshimura crawled towards Hori Chie, who stood frozen, her mouth open in horror. Nishiki dragged Kimi away from Kanou. Hajime lay on the ground, blood pouring from his face. Houji struggled to his feet, panting. Touka gaped out the side of the room. The wall had been completely blown away, and a dragon loped around the castle, crushing staircases and ramming into a tower, howling as if in pain.

"Kaneki?" croaked Touka. "Kaneki! Please!"

The dragon whirled around. Fire streamed through the wall.

 _"Touka!"_ screamed Yomo.

"Akira!" Someone grabbed her, throwing her to the ground. Akira gagged. She looked up. Takizawa hovered over her, a cut on his cheek and soot smeared his forehead.

"Amon? Where—" she managed.

His face fell, just slightly. He turned around, shaking his head.

"Yomo!" yelled Touka. Akira sat up. Touka struggled to get to the man, shoving aside a twisted, flaming chair. His leg lay beneath him at an odd angle.

A dark shape ran over first. _Uta_. He knelt, taking Yomo in his arms.

"What—did you know?" choked out Yomo.

 _Huh?_ "Get out!" called Itori, looking somehow unscathed. She clapped her hands. "This staircase is still passable!"

"I have to get the kids," wheezed Hirako. Koma grabbed Irimi, helping her stand. A large burn mark seared her back. Yoshimura grabbed Hajime as Hirako walked by him. Akira wasn't certain Hajime was even still alive.

" _Amon!"_ screamed Akira. _Where is he?_

And then she saw him. Bursting out from behind a burning pillar. Flying towards Kanou with his sword raised, prepared to stab the man—the witch—in the back. And at her cry, Kanou raised his hand. The floor rollicked under her feet again. Amon froze, as if he was swimming through air but against the current, unable to make any headway.

"Stop!" bellowed Touka.

"No!" Akira staggered forward. But Takizawa was uninjured, and faster. He threw himself at Kanou.

And Akira's body acted with only intuition. She grabbed Takizawa, hauling him back.

"What are you doing, Mado?" shouted Takizawa, spittle flying into her eyes. Houji gaped at them from the doorway.

 _You coward. You turned on him, and he only wanted to make you proud._ "You don't get to sacrifice yourself like that!" Akira screamed back at Takizawa, shaking him. "I want you alive! I—" _I love you too, and even if I've chosen Amon, I love you, and I can't let you die like that, die for me_ _—no, not even for me_ _—you just want to matter too, don't you?_

 _But you do. You do matter. You matter to me._ A sob broke through her lips. She slammed her palms against his chest. _I'm afraid of being alone. And I want you to live. Please live, even if not with me, even if I have to be alone. Live. You and Amon. Live._

Amon recoiled, writhing. His eyes bubbled just like Kaneki's had. Akira gagged. "Amon—Koutarou—"

His eyes met hers, and he recognized her. He shook his head slightly, as if trying to tell her to go.

 _No_. Akira pushed herself forward. "Don't look at him, Amon, look at me!" If this was the last time he saw her and could recognize her, she wanted him to know.

_I love you._

_Takizawa loves you too. You're our friend before anything else. You don't have to try to please my father or reject Donato the warlock. You have us. We just want you to be okay._

"You're a fucking idiot," she choked out. That wasn't what she meant to say. And yet the words kept spilling out of her, hot and furious. "You went to be the hero over me. You chose yourself over me again. Isn't that always what you do? You were never about justice. Like my father, you've only ever been about yourself."

Kanou chortled. Amon's eyes rolled around in his head as the magic took hold.

"But I love you anyways," Akira said. "I still love you. My father—he was a bad man and a good father, and you—I love you—if I can be a good person somehow, someday, you can try too—but stop trying to be a hero, can't you?" Her voice broke.

"Listen to Mado, Amon," Takizawa said from behind her, voice urgent. Amon's eyes focused and slid towards him. Kanou cursed.

 _Is it actually_ _—how could this be slowing it down or stopping it?_ Akira raised her voice. "Koutarou—don't think about him. Don't think about my father or Donato. They don't—they're not the—"

"We're here for you," Takizawa said. "Please stop trying—I always saw you as a hero anyways, can't you tell? And it made me so bitter and so angry, Amon, that I couldn't be like you—you burned so bright, like the sun—"

 _You_ are _a hero, Seidou._ Akira swallowed. "Trust us. Please, Koutarou."

Amon's eyes focused again. The rumbling slowed. Kanou let out a yell of fury. Furuta sputtered. Akira ignored them, stepping closer. She reached out her hand.

Kanou raised his hands again, swearing. Amon lifted his hand. His clasped hers. Kanou threw his hands at them again, but the castle stopped shaking. Amon gave a gasp, falling forward. Akira grabbed him, holding him up. He trembled. "Akira…"

"Kanou tried to curse you," she said, but she didn't know how she and Takizawa had stopped it. Her heart pounded.

"Looks like your power's up, warlock," taunted Takizawa.

 _Until he drains someone else,_ Akira realized. "We have to get out of here!"

Takizawa grabbed Amon, hauling him with him. Akira snatched Amon's fallen sword, aiming it at Kanou as a warning as they backed up. Houji reached out to help. Takizawa glared at him. Clearly, his respect would have to be earned back. Because in the end, Houji wasn't the only one who deserved an apology.

A grotesque, dragon shriek ripped across the sky. Akira's heart pounded. _How could we save Amon but not Kaneki?_

She staggered out the door, towards the half-crumpled staircase. Fear gnawed at her again. What about the people in the dungeons?

"Where's Touka?" croaked Yomo.

Akira whirled around. " _Touka!"_

The cry echoed over and over again.

* * *

Akira and Takizawa saved Amon. Touka staggered towards the edge of the broken-apart wall, crawling over the stones. Her fingernails tore. There had to be hope. There had to be. She thought of her mother, her father, her brother. She pulled herself up, staring out at the dragon wailing in a courtyard, thrashing. Guards hurled spears at him.

"No!" Touka screamed. "Stop! _Kaneki!"_

But no one could hear her, of course.

 _Why… why did it turn out like this?_ She clutched the broken wall, a sob wracking her chest. All she does is lose. The people important to her always died, or left, or—or—this, this was unlike anything Touka's ever seen before, and it scratched at her with its horror.

"Is your power broken?" demanded Furuta's voice behind her. Touka froze. "Or—"

Kanou cussed.

"Drain her!" An arm lashed out, grabbing Touka by the waist and hauling her away from the broken wall. "This little minx stayed behind just for that purpose—thanks, sweet pea—"

Touka spat in Furuta's face and kneed him in the crotch. She jammed her elbow into his stomach. Furuta let out a howl.

"She's a human," snarled Kanou. "I need to drain witches to get the kind of power to turn someone into another dragon."

 _A witch? Then_ _—is Eto_ _—gone?_ Touka's stomach clenched. She staggered away from Furuta, grabbing the broken leg of a chair and pointing it at him like it was a sword.

A screech tore through the air. It scraped at her spine. Touka recoiled. The sound ripped apart her eardrums. She screamed, clutching her ears. Furuta dropped to the ground, holding his head. Kanou shouted.

A dragon tail surged through the broken wall. It upended what was left of the table, and then—the remaining wall broken away. Touka fell to the ground as stones rained around her. One smacked her forehead and her vision blurred. She threw her arms over her head, curling up. _Please, please, please!_

Even if he didn't know what he was doing, the fact that Kaneki almost killed her nauseated Touka. She vomited, bitter remains of the soup she'd tried surging up and spilling onto the floor.

"Well, now she's dead," came Furuta's voice. "Nice going."

 _Huh?_ Touka's ribs still ached. She flicked her finger. No, she was definitely alive. Prying her eyelids open, she noticed that two chunks of the shattered wall lay over her, supporting each other, but just barely. A small opening lay behind them.

_Did he do that on purpose?_

_Is he still somewhat aware? Was he trying to save me?_

Touka kicked herself back, wriggling towards the opening. It was better that they thought her dead. She had to move very carefully, so as to not dislodge the shards of wall and get crushed. _I'm going to save you, Kaneki. Kanou's power isn't infallible. Akira and Takizawa saved Amon._

"Is one dragon enough for you?" Furuta demanded. Touka shifted onto her side. One leg at a time. Just to be safe.

The smoke thickened. Touka froze, swallowing what felt like dirt and needles, trying to keep herself from coughing. _Please!_

"Will you let her go now?" Furuta continued. His voice sounded small, almost childlike.

 _Huh? Who?_ Touka slid her second leg through. Now her hips. They would be harder to fit through.

"What for?" asked Kanou.

Furuta coughed too. The fire must be spreading. Wind whipped through, sending sand and dirt smacking her face and stinging, and Touka understood why.

"You said," Furuta choked out. "You said that if—I helped you—get a dragon—it'd take—"

"—take own the kingdom's dynasty, and it has," Kanou said primly.

"I did that!" Furuta shouted. His voice shattered into coughs. "Not—you."

"Without me, you never could have. And—"

"You said you'd give her back if you just used her power for that! Draining a witch—they don't die—that's what you said!"

Touka's hips broke through. She winced, her neck and shoulder burning in pain from her contorted position. Her heart pounded. Were they talking about Eto? Was she still alive?

"Kamishiro Rize is never coming back," Kanou stated.

 _Rize._ Touka froze. _She_ was a witch?

"But the whole reason I turned to you was to save her!" bellowed Furuta. "You can't—just—" He hacked more.

"I can do whatever I want," Kanou said. "You're not a king anymore. Everyone hates you. You've lost everything. You have nothing left. You did all this for nothing. And the reason is because you are nothing. Your father knew you were just another bastard piece of trash, no matter how you looked like Prince Yoshitoki, because you were not magical. And you were always destined to die. Because you were useless. A mistake. The result of your mother forgetting to take herbs and then being too weak and naive enough to assume your father would care to beat you out of her womb."

His words cut into Touka. She shifted so that only her chest and head were left to break out. And she thought of all the times she lay on her bed, the ring that lay cool against her breasts now clutched in her hands, spinning the chain until it tightened on her throat, thinking that if her parents hadn't had children, her mother might be alive, and how her mother had sacrificed herself for her and Ayato according for Father, but Father vanished, and Mother was dead, and wasn't she a terrible daughter for still doubting her mother's love?

"Where is she?" screamed Furuta.

"You know, when you came to me and told me you had found out I was the witch and demanded her back, but were willing to listen to my propositions, I thought you might not be just another useless human." Kanou sighed. "And yet that appears to be exactly what you are. Pathetic, how you chase that girl who has no interest in anyone but herself."

"I love her!" Furuta gagged. He retched. Touka cringed. Her chest made it through.

"And that's what makes you useless," Kanou crooned. "Enjoy the flames of hell."

"Come back!" Furuta screamed.

Touka broke her shoulders through. Furuta vomited again. He screamed and screamed, like an infant abandoned. Touka pulled her head free and sat up. The room spun. Flames leapt higher. Smoke clouded the room with gray. The door was still free. For now.

Kanou was nowhere to be seen. Furuta crumpled on the floor, a block of stone trapped his arm. He looked up, and he saw her. Fury marred his features. His lips pulled back in a snarl.

_You aren't a witch._

_You have no magic. No power, at all._

He gagged again. Bile dribbled from his lips. Something wet ran from his eyes. "Rize…"

Another howl from the Dragon. Touka looked out and saw a spear pierce Kaneki's wing. He fell into the roof of one of the stables. Touka cried out.

"You're gonna—die—watching him die," Furuta choked out. He let out a creaking laugh. "Ironic—at least I can—laugh—"

Guards swarmed. Smoke cloaked her. And Touka turned away from the spectacle, vomiting herself. The fire crept closer to the exit. She stumbled forward. Agony tore through her. Hinami—Ayato—they had to have made it out. And Yomo, Yoshimura—her chest heaved. Cries broke from her lips, inhuman herself, broken.

Furuta groaned, his forehead pressed against the floor, rubbing from side to side.

Touka stopped above him.

"Run faster," he managed, grinning sloppily at her. Ash coated his face—the half that wasn't burned beyond repair. "Or you won't be able to remember my demise."

Touka bent over. She grabbed the block holding his arm and yanked with all her strength. It barely budged. Touka swore. She kicked, throwing the power left in her legs at it.

Furuta gaped at her as the block finally shifted off of his shattered arm.

She knelt. She grabbed his good arm, throwing it over her shoulder. _Don't fight me. Please._ She didn't think she had enough strength to make it if he did. Her lungs spasmed.

She staggered towards the staircase, Furuta hanging off of her.


	20. XIX: Reinforcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're all just afraid," Furuta sneered. "Afraid of being unimportant, because if you're unimportant no one will want you."

"What is  _he_  doing here?"

Mutsuki lifted his head. Bleary, he peered around him. Amon Koutarou led them to an abandoned barn to hide in. The streets poured with commoners and nobles alike, fleeing the city. Fleeing Kaneki, transformed into a monster.

Mutsuki squinted in the dim light. Akira and Takizawa were here. Hirako, and three orphans. The kitchen staff and Lady Kimi, tending to a wounded child, that page of the king's, who kept screaming in a panic. Ui clutched Hairu's shoulders as they sat on a bale of hay. Fueguchi sat with the boy, crying. Marude glared at everyone. And that bastard king, hanging off Kirishima's shoulder, wheezed.

"He's the cause of all of this!" bellowed Ui. Mutsuki glanced up at Urie, who sat protectively next to him. Suzuya sat on Mutsuki's other side, Hanbee allowing him to lean against his shoulder. Saiko and Hsiao clung to each other, weeping. Aura huddled in a corner. Mutsuki didn't see his aunt, or Tanakamaru. All the enchanted must still be there, alive if their towers were still standing, dead if they had collapsed. Higemaru sat across from that Aogiri girl, both of them sketching in the dirt.

"So I should let him die?" snapped Kirishima. "He knows—things. That can help us!"

Furuta keeled over, falling to the floor. Banjou cussed, rushing over to flip him onto his back. "Kimi—"

"I'm on it." Kimi hurried over with her medicinal pouch. Fueguchi stroked the injured page's hair. But Kirishima snapped into action, grabbing Kimi by her throat.

"Touka!" bellowed Nishiki.

"You  _bitch_ ," Touka snarled. "What did you know? You honestly expect me to believe that you didn't know?" Her voice cracked. "Your boss was a witch and you—"

"Touka, let her go," croaked Yomo from the pile of hay he lay on.

"Touka, I don't care what she knew, I love her!" screamed Nishiki.

"And I love  _him!"_  screamed Touka. "I love Kaneki, and he's—" She released Kimi, stumbling back. Kimi hacked. She clung to her knees, bawling. "I love him, and you— _why?"_

Ice water encased Mutsuki, but he felt no more numb than he'd already felt. Trapped in that cell, he knew that he'd lost Kaneki. He'd lost the squires he considered his friends. His family. And it was all on him. Because of what he'd done to his family.

He'd been born. And when he was born a girl, his father hated him. He wanted another son. He encouraged Mutsuki's brother to treat him like filth, and he took out his many frustrations on Mutsuki. Shattered bottles. Forced to inhale bathwater. Raped like a useless, mindless creature.

And all he wanted to do when in that cell was become mindless. Forget. Not care. Lose it all, because he already had, except for himself, and his self was a cruel grotesque murderer. Those poor cats.

"He said if I didn't help he'd kill Nishiki!" Kimi cried out. "He was keeping Rize—"

Mutsuki's breath caught. So Kimi had known. She did that to Kaneki.

Touka sent her fist into Kimi's face. Urie stiffened. Ayato lunged, grabbing his sister and holding her back. Fueguchi sobbed. "You couldn't have  _warned_  us?"

Kimi had no answer.

Touka backed up. Kimi knelt to treat Furuta.

"We'll have to tie him up," Amon said.

"Kirishima," said Takizawa. "Akira saved Amon from experiencing the same fate."

"We both saved him," Akira whispered. Touka looked up at them, her eyes streaming.

"There's hope," Takizawa said to her. "I don't know how or what was the catalyst, but if we could help him—we can help Kaneki. I refuse to believe this is permanent, okay?"

"I don't know," Kimi whispered. "It's as permanent as the enchanted sleep."

"So we have to kill the bastard," declared Takizawa. Yasuhisa nodded.

Everyone debated as the night deepened. Urie nodded off, and Mutsuki rose, creeping towards the doors. Nishiki still held Kimi.  _How nice,_  Mutsuki thought. To be loved, even when you'd done something so despicable. He couldn't imagine. He contemplated stabbing Kimi. It wouldn't be hard to get a sword.

But he had no right to Kaneki, nor to Kimi. The only person he wanted to take down was himself. He spotted Kanae von Rosewald, watching him. Tsukiyama Shuu slept curled up next to his father and that governess lady. Mutsuki ducked and headed away, stepping over the sleeping. Someone cried, but he couldn't make out whom.

"The kingdom's gone anyways," a voice said. "Why does it matter what we do? Why should we even try to save it?" Ui Koori. He sat next to Hirako, across from Marude. Hairu lay nearby.

"I don't think it's worth saving," Hirako said. "We were saved by—commoners. We were always saved by them. This hierarchy—it's just—bullshit—"

"There are still people trapped in that dungeon," Marude said. "You never penetrated to the innermost cells, Ui Koori. Several people are still trapped there, and if what Yoshitoki told me is correct, their punishment is worse than they deserve."

Mutsuki slipped out the door. No one called after him. The night air whipped around him, cold. Stars glittered above, and only a sliver of moon. He wondered if any commoners were left. He could offer himself to them to lynch in their fury at the nobles. Their justified fury. Maybe it would make them feel better. Though hurting others had never made him feel better.

It was a hopeless cycle. Mutsuki crouched by an empty trough, reeking of mildew. He just wanted it to stop. He rocked back and forth.

A whimper cut through the air. Mutsuki looked up and saw a terrified—and terrifying—face. A boy with long, stringy black hair and no eyelids. He flinched. But the boy went back to cowering.

"Mucchan!"

He startled. A hand grasped his shoulder. Urie. His face caved in relief. Saiko appeared behind him, panting.

"Kanae told us you'd gone outside," Urie said. "It's dangerous."

Mutsuki shrugged.

"Please, Mucchan," Saiko whispered. "Saiko loves you. You're family."

Mutsuki threw his head back. A bitter laugh streamed out. "I killed my family."

"From what it sounds like I would have killed them if they were still alive," Urie stated.

Mutsuki stiffened.  _How much did they tell you?_

"I don't care!" Saiko cried out. "I don't care what you did, Mucchan! My—mother—she abandoned me and my brother—because she didn't care, but I care, I care about you, I need you and Urie and Hsiao and Aura and Hige! I just—don't want to be alone anymore!" Her chest heaved. She grabbed Mutsuki, tears soaking into his neck.

_Alone._

_I've only ever been alone._  The outcast in his family. And he just wanted to connect.

"Don't hurt yourself," Saiko whispered. "I know—that's what—don't do it, Mucchy—Saiko will never get over it."

"If you're worried about—blacking out—" began Urie, crouching down. "We can help you."

They pressed closer. They were warm. He sucked in his breath. And he cried. Saiko held him. Urie patted his back. "You never—noticed when I was—you—why should I believe you?" he demanded. Was it fair? Perhaps. Perhaps not. But it was how he felt. "You treated me—I was a waste—I've always been a waste and you—you haven't helped—Kaneki left us; that's all we're good for, we're all just people who weren't good enough for our parents and didn't mean enough to them and didn't mean enough to Kaneki either!" He punched the dirt. "Why? What do we have to do to mean something? What do we have to do to matter? Why?" His voice reached a crescendo, a visceral cry.

Saiko flinched. Urie recoiled.

"That's not true!" Saiko cried out.

"It is!" Mutsuki lashed out. "They didn't choose us! That's a fact! That's how it is!"  _Face it; we're all worthless! Me most of all!_

"But—you matter to me," Saiko managed, tears pouring down her face.

Mutsuki sent his fist into Saiko's chest. Urie lunged, and he punched him next. He doubled over, face in the first.

"You matter to me," Saiko said again, above him. Still there. And her hands—Urie's hands too—on his shoulders, they told him. We're all desperate.

_Can we keep each other afloat? I don't deserve it. I deserve to sink._

But Saiko hugged him.

"Help me," he choked out.  _Please. I need it. But I don't know if you can._

But they wanted to try. Mutsuki sobbed, and so did Saiko, and Urie—he looked at Mutsuki, and for once, there was no disgust. "Help me," he said again.

"We'll help you," Saikp promised. "Help us, Mucchan."

Urie lowered his hand, hand warm on Mutsuki's shoulder, but he leaned into their embrace. A shrill dragon's cry echoed in the distance. Mutsuki gulped. Urie held him and Saiko.

"If there's a way to get him back," said Urie. "We will."

"Why?" asked Mutsuki. "You never cared."

Urie swallowed. "But you both do."

* * *

Rustling sounded behind them. Urie stiffened. Saiko let out a yelp.

"What?" cried Mutsuki. Urie spotted a dark-haired boy cowering across from them.

"That's the boy who attacked me during the riot!"

Urie lunged, grabbing the kid. The boy shrieked. His eyes, crazed, latched onto everything around them—the trough, the barn, the trees, but not Urie's face. His eyelids—were they gone? Had he been tortured? Urie's stomach turned as he thought of the rumors about the dungeons and their wardens. This kid was so young…

The boy whimpered, cowering. Urie released him, and the boy shivered.

"We should invite him in," Saiko said quietly. "Are you hungry?"

The boy nodded. He looked as if he was out of his mind, Urie decided. Not a threat. Yoshimura gave him a helping of stew. He slurped the broth up and ate the potatoes with his hands. Urie's heart pounded. He couldn't be older than they were. Maybe younger. And… if the palace could do this to people— _Father, did you know about it? Did you know about any of it?_

_Why didn't you investigate the rumors? Why didn't I? Why did I wait until it was Mutsuki at risk?_

And still… Urie looked at Mutsuki. Saiko was singing him a dumb lullaby. Mutsuki was still not okay, was he? Saving him from that cell wasn't saving him.

 _I'm a failure._  He spotted Aura, huddled against the wall, sleepless with worry over his aunt. "She'll be fine," Urie said roughly to him. "Even without legs. She can take care of herself."

Aura lifted his shoulders. "I want to save her. I need to save her."

Urie bit his lip.

"She was my inspiration growing up," Aura added. "My parents—treat me like a nuisance. She told me I could be something. A knight. Like her, the pride of our family—my parents didn't care, so long as I was out of their hair—I just wanted—to do something worthwhile. To matter. To be more than another mouth to feed, an inconvenience—" He curled his fist and slammed it into his knee.

"Cut it out!" Urie snapped. "You're not an inconvenience." Okay, so he had often considered Aura such.

_Who am I? Why do I believe people's worst fears and convince them they are that? Mutsuki useless? Aura inconvenient? What kind of person am I?_

_What am I afraid of?_

Losing people. Like his father. Like Shirazu. Being useless. Being inconvenient. "Don't hurt yourself," Urie said roughly. "Please. You—matter. Saiko says we're like a family." Oh God, it was so sappy. But at the same time, he wanted to cry.

Urie stumbled away. He found Touka mixing porridge for breakfast. From the looks of it they'd all get maybe two mouthfuls. "Can I have my serving and Mutsuki's together?" He'd give it to Mutsuki to eat.

Touka shrugged. "Sure." She glanced up at Urie, dark hair covering one of her eyes. "You know, if you love him, you should tell him."

Urie froze. His breath crystallized in his lungs.

"Don't wait," Touka said, stirring the porridge.

 _You're thinking of Kaneki, aren't you?_  "We'll get him back," Urie promised.  _We're knights. Squires. Whatever. We'll get him back._

Touka scowled. Urie didn't know why. "Why are you turning to other things? What actually matters to you, Urie Kuki?"

 _What matters?_ He thought of his father. How he wanted to make him proud. And he thought of Kaneki, and he thought of Mutsuki, how he embraced him. "He saw me at my worst," Urie said. "Mutsuki. And he told me I was okay." The weak side of him, the side he never wanted his father to see, not since his father rolled his eyes when Urie complained about a blister as a boy. "I treated him terribly."

"I threatened Kaneki when I first met him," Touka said.

 _And then you two started talking more, befriending each other._  Urie bit his lip. He had softened towards Mutsuki, but not— _I should have been there for him more_. "How exactly—would you say something like that?" His face reddened. He couldn't believe he was asking for advice about  _this_.

"I don't know," Touka said, lifting her shoulders. She dumped some porridge into a bowl someone had somehow scrounged up. "Ask if he's a virgin."

Urie's jaw dropped. For other reasons, that wouldn't work, but still. "That's—improper! I can't ask Mutsuki that!"

"Just say you love him then."

"He loves Kaneki," Urie blurted out. "Not me."  _I'm a reject. Always a reject. Not enough for my father. Not enough for Mutsuki._

_And still, I want him. And still, I want him to be happy._

_I love him._

A voice cleared behind him. Urie felt as if he was about to vomit.

Mutsuki stood behind him, eyes wide. Hsiao and Saiko flanked him.

"Oh shit," said Urie. Touka ducked her head.  _Not fair!_ He shoved the bowl of porridge at Mutsuki. "Here. Enjoy."

"You get back here, Urie Kuki!" shouted Saiko.

Urie tripped. He planted into a bale of hay. It scraped his cheek. He looked up to see that Hakatori had tripped him.

The next thing Urie knew he was shoved into a corner with Mutsuki. And his hands were shaking. And Mutsuki looked panicked.

"I'm sorry," Urie blurted out. "You can go—I don't—" What was Saiko thinking, trapping them—

"Why?" Mutsuki demanded. "Why would you—how could you—what would make you—"

Urie cursed internally. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable!"

Mutsuki glared at him, tears shining in his eyes, rose dawn glinting as light dripped in from the holes in the ceiling. "Just be honest with me, Urie Kuki!"

 _I don't know how. I'm scared. My entire life I've been scared of the truth._  "You saw me at my worst," Urie managed. "And you—comforted me—and I—I should have comforted you—your worst doesn't scare me—just for you, fear for you—I don't know—I just wanted to be loved—like you—" He stared at Mutsuki's eyes and thought of the pendant.

"You can't fix me," Mutsuki choked out.

 _But I could hold you._ Urie couldn't pry his mouth open. He shook his head.

"You're better off without me."

"No," Urie managed. "You make me—a better person."

Mutsuki reached up and clutched his neck, empty of that pendant he used to wear. Urie wished he'd grabbed it back from Haisaki. He looked at Urie, eyes watering more, bleeding green.

"I'm sorry," Urie eked out. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Stop assuming things!" Mutsuki snapped. "You—didn't—hurt me—I'm just confused, okay, Kuki?"

 _Kuki._  Urie's heart stopped beating. The room spun. Mutsuki looked at him, testing him.

"He's awake!" shouted one of those orphan kids, Shio.

* * *

Furuta cracked open his eyes. Ui prodded him with the flat side of his sword.

"How are you feeling?" Kimi asked.

Furuta snapped his eyes closed again. "Just let me die."

"No," snapped Ui, crouching down. "You tell us the truth."

Furuta sighed, opening his eyes again. "Oh hi, Rio. I see you took in that kid Kijima tortured. You know he cut Rio's brother limb from limb."

Rio shrieked, clamping his hands over his ears. Aura grabbed him, calming him down. Hairu hovered in the background, biting her nails.

"Shut up," Ui snarled.

"You of all people? That's rich. You know, this is your fault too," Furuta said, shifting with a wince. "It's all your faults. You didn't care about commoners—only about traditions that kept you in power, about strength that enabled you to hold a shield and made you feel as if you had earned that power when you hadn't, about patting yourselves on the back, about feeling righteous when you had the righteousness of soot."

The sensation of grime settled in on Ui. He gulped.

"It's true," Amon said, and he covered his face with his hands.

"You're all just afraid," Furuta sneered. "Afraid of being unimportant, because if you're unimportant no one will want you."

"I want him," Akira said softly.

"No one wanted me." Furuta glared at them. "You know the Washuus—they're all witches, you know that? All of them. And their power—gets drained by the king. He uses it to cast spells, fortify the military, iron drapes or whatever it is he does. He has children outside of wedlock hoping they will have magic too. You know Arima Kishou? You know he's a bastard too! If Kanou hadn't cursed him he'd be drained by now, and killed. Kamishiro Rize is his cousin. But she's a full witch. She doesn't just have magical blood. She's got everything. So he can drain her, and drain her, and drain her again and again and again and again and—"

"You let him do that to the woman you loved?" Ui snarled.

"I was trying to save her!" Furuta coughed. "He promised me—if I helped him—" He writhed, yanking at his binds.

"So you have magical blood, but you can't do magic yourself?" asked Kimi.

"Shouldn't you already know this?" he retorted. He turned. "Shio, Yusa, Rikai—they're his bastards too. And Hsiao. And Ihei. Oh yes, Koori, didn't you know?"

Ui blinked. Furuta's words curdled the minimal food in his stomach more than the stench of damp hay and manure. He turned. Hairu stood there, face pale. "Shut up."

"I won't. You're all hypocrites, all—"

Ui stood. Saving Furuta was pointless. He turned and stormed over to Hairu.  _Arima was your_ _—brother?_

 _And still, you loved him_. Ui stared at his scuffed boots.  _It's me then, isn't it? I kept thinking it was you, or Arima, when it's really been me._

_I'm just simply not what you want._

He stabbed his sword into the fraying wood boards that comprised the floor. Ui pulled his hair back from his face. "I'm sorry."

Hairu glanced at him.

"Did you know?" Ui asked. "About—all this?"

"Not that Kanou was hurting Rize. Or about Kanou." Hairu blinked. "Koori—Ui—I—I'm sorry—I—"

 _Do you think I view you as tainted now?_ Ui stared at his hands. If anything, he was the tainted one. The one who was exactly like Furuta described. Self-righteous, prideful, insecure, cruel. "Hairu—"

"What?" she managed. "I'm—nothing—I loved my own brother because it's the only—happiness I could—he smiled at me—"

_And you smiled at me._

"I always knew I was partially magical—the Washuus, the full blooded ones, all witches—warlocks— _I am everything you hate,"_ she said, staring at him with eyes green and defiant.

_Everything I vowed to wipe out of the kingdom. All the shame I vowed never to bring on my parents._

_It was me, all along. My shame_. Ui shook his head, tongue thick in his mouth.

"I am!" she shouted. "Listen to me, Ui Koori! Believe me instead of yourself, for once in your life!"

"I love you," he choked out.

Hairu blinked.

"I don't care. I mean, I care, insofar as you care—but to hell with—I was wrong," he gasped out, a sob wracking his chest. "I was wrong. I was wrong. You weren't wrong. You can't be wrong, being born in a way—you can't help. Your birth, your existence—they're good. I was wrong." He doubled over. "I'm so—sorry."

"I hated him," Hairu stated. "My father. I hated him, I hated what he would do to me—I hated how we could tell anyone because—you—everyone was conditioned to be so afraid of us—to hate us—we had to—the only hope we had was making ourselves useful. Like Arima. Then maybe—we could leave a legacy." Tears streamed down her face. "Do you know what it's like to live like that? I just—clung to what I could. I wanted to make Arima proud. I wanted to—live, but I couldn't, so I wanted to make—my life count." She wrapped her arms around herself.

Didn't he want the same thing? He cloaked it in armor and shields, but in the end, he wanted to count. He wanted to matter. And he wanted to love.

"You are," he choked out. "A better person than I am." Braver. Stronger. More beautiful.

The door flung open as Hairu's jaw fell open.

Uta stood there with Itori, the dressmaker. Roma and Nico cackled behind them.

"Uta," rasped Yomo, pushing himself up on a bale of hay.

"Well, would you look at that!" crowed Roma. "How cute! Trying to hide out together, commoners and nobles alike! You'd almost think it's a utopia! Shall we take bets on who slits whose throat first in the night? Nobles can be more powerful, more trained, but commoners are stealthier—"

"Shut it," snarled Suzuya.

"Where were you?" demanded Yomo.

"Checking with Kanou," Itori answered. "He's got Kaneki chained up in the palace—or what's left of it. And anyone not lucky enough to flee is under his control."

Touka jumped to her feet. "So Kaneki's alive?"

"Yes, Touka dear," Itori answered, plucking a loose hair off her black lace dress. "But I wouldn't go to him. It changes nothing. If you're smart, you'll flee the kingdom."

"Where?" asked Kanae, voice soft. "I know what that's like. There's little to no welcome place for you. You have to earn your keep, if you're among the luckiest. And then you never feel home again because so many are—unkind."

Tsukiyama gaped at Kanae. Ui gulped.

Yomo shoved himself off the bale of hay. He staggered towards Uta. His hands shot out. He grabbed Uta by the throat. Ui gasped. "How—did you get out here?" Yomo demanded. "There has to be a way in and out—or else you're working with—"

Uta shook his head. "You should know, Renji—I work for myself."

"How, then?" Yomo demanded. "How did you break the spell—or avoid falling under his control?"

"I won't help you go back there! You'll die!" Uta shouted. His normally stoic demeanor snapped.

"There's no need for that, Uta," came a voice.

Ui frowned.

"We're here to help," called a second voice. Nagachika Hideyoshi, that friend of Kaneki's from the country, came in, hands raised.

And before Ui could ask how he found them, a crowd arranged themselves by the door. And a woman stepped forward, green hair wild and loose.

"Hello, Father," she said, gaze on Yoshimura.


	21. XX: The Nature of Prophecy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Let me ask you all, and for you, Furuta, I'll ask you again: do you all believe everything you hear?"

"Eto," whispered Yoshimura. Amon clutched Akira. His heart pounded. But if Eto—if she was here to help—having a witch on their side would greatly affect their odds of success.

"Keep your trap shut," Eto said, snapping her hand in a wave at her father. The man with white hair and a red mask—Tatara—drew his sword, focusing on Houji.

"Whoa!" Amon shouted, breaking away from Akira and blocking Houji. Takizawa stood to the side, not drawing his sword.  _For real?_ "No murdering!" Amon glanced over his shoulder.

"A little late for that, don't you think?" Tatara snarled, glaring at Houji. "He killed my brother!"

Takizawa still refused to draw his sword for Houji.  _Are you that bitter, Seidou?_

 _No._  He'd saved Amon's life, and he had almost as much of a reason to be bitter with Amon as with Houji. But Takizawa knew Houji could handle himself. And he knew what Houji had done, and he wasn't going to shield Houji from facing it. And when Houji had drawn his sword on Takizawa, that was the end, hadn't it been? The end of what could have been. Two fathers, and a mother, lost in one day. For the sake of self-righteousness.

Houji was whom Amon could have been. And yet, Takizawa looked at Amon, meeting his gaze, and Amon knew he was trusting him. Shame gripped Amon. Takizawa really was incredible.

"Did you care at all beyond what they told you to do?" demanded Tatara. "No. We weren't human to you. We were objects, and you—you were a god whose desires and righteousness eclipsed everything else. You are nothing more than a dirty selfish bastard  _who killed my brother!"_ His voice bled as the octaves rose.

"And I dragged you away from that fire. Poor work, Kirishima, yes I know it was you," Eto said, tapping her fingers as she glanced at Ayato. "You both are turds. It's not Yan who can't rest until you kill him. It's you, Tatara. Though I have to say, Houji, you are everything that's wrong with this world."

Houji blinked, horror on his face. His mouth gawped open, lips flapping.

"And no matter what world you create," Eto continued. "You're still going to deal with the damage from this one."

Tatara cussed. But he didn't strike. Did he respect Eto that much?

"You're the witch, aren't you?" demanded Urie.

"Tell them," Eto said, looking straight at Yoshimura. "Tell them who I am,  _Father_. That is, if you dare acknowledge it."

Yoshimura's shoulders slumped. "You're… my daughter."

"No," said Eto. "He's my father." She jerked her thumb towards the dark, hooded figure. "Noro's too old to speak clearly now, but he cared for me because you didn't want me. The illegitimate child of a noblewoman and  _you_ , a servant. They didn't want me and they killed my mother. And you didn't want me either, did you?"

"I thought you would be safer without me," whispered Yoshimura. Touka glared at him, shaking her head. She covered her mouth.

"You thought  _you_  would be safer without me," Eto retorted. Her eyes flashed. Noro stepped closer. "You took care of Koma and Kaya and Kirishima and never me. Not until you sent Arima after me." She tossed her hair back. "How fitting, the bastard son of a king and the bastard daughter of a servant, all wanting a different world, a world where commoners and nobles aren't separated, a reborn world."

Amon blinked. What was the witch saying?

"Arima knew rumors of witchcraft would force the witch inside the palace to act," said Eto.

"So he sacrificed Rize?" burst out Furuta.

"Get off that high horse, idiot," Eto told him. "You don't get any indignation." She smirked at them all.

"Well, if you're offering to lend us some magic aid," said Ui. "We couldn't turn it down."

"Magic?" Eto blinked. She spread her fingers, a smile spreading across her lips. "Let me ask you all, and for you, Furuta, I'll ask you  _again_ : do you all believe everything you hear?"

"Huh?" Amon frowned. Tatara stabbed his sword into the ground, rolling his eyes. Yomo grabbed a strand of hay and snapped it in half.

Eto planted her hands on her hips and leaned forward, baring her cleavage. "I'm flattered, really. I wouldn't call myself a witch though. A prophet, maybe. A prophetess. But really, I just tell people what they already fear, or what they hope for. And then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy through their own actions. People are always driven by fear, you know. They'll do anything to avoid whatever it is they fear most." Her gaze landed on Mutsuki, who blanched.

"Excuse me?" rasped Furuta. "What are you saying, you bitch witch?"

"Try again," Eto cooed. "I've never done a spell in my life and I don't have a drop of magical blood in my body."

Amon's jaw fell slack. Everyone gaped.

"Fuck!" shouted Urie. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

"The one time we need a witch!" shrieked Ui.

Eto cackled. Roma doubled over, howling with laughter. Uta and Itori smirked. Nico sniggered. Amon felt like stabbing the witch—bitch—Eto.

"And pray tell," Eto said, twisting her long hair around her arm. "Why would you need a witch, though?"

"So we can save Kaneki!" shouted Touka, getting to her feet. "My—he's been turned into a dragon!"

"Because he's an idiot."

Touka stomped her foot. "I don't care! I love him!"

"Well, you should care," Eto said.

"I love—"

"You can love someone as they are and still want them to be better than they are. But you can't change them."

"And what would you know about that?" demanded Hairu, her chest heaving.

A small, sad smile spread over Eto's lips. "You can't change Kaneki back, Touka. You can only offer him something to come back to, if he wants to. Without you, he couldn't come back. But even with you—well, it's up to him. He might be too lost in fear to come back and face himself and what he became."

Tears streamed down Touka's face, down Tsukiyama's. Akira buried her face in her hands.

"We can try," Hide said. "Touka. We have to try. You love him. So do I. He's my best friend. He's my only friend."

Touka looked at him. She nodded.

"You don't need magic," Eto said. "Besides the magic that's all around you. Magic is not more powerful than ordinary lives. The most ordinary of things can stop it."

"Will you help us get into that castle then?" Amon demanded. "Because we're going to need to."

"No," Eto said. "I won't." She cocked her head to the side. "Tell me, Amon Koutarou, are you going?"

"Yes," he said, heart pounding.

"A hero?" Malevolence, fury, dark and flaming, gleamed in her eyes.

"No," Amon managed. He saw Seidou standing there. He was the hero. "But I was saved from the same fate. I can't leave Kaneki to it."

"And what about your entire kingdom?" Eto demanded. "Does anyone have a shit to spare for that?"

"I do," said Ui, rising. He blinked rapidly.

 _You were always sincere in that, weren't you? To an extent._  Amon swallowed.

"Can it be salvaged?" Eto prompted.

"You tell me," he said, crossing his arms.

"No. You answer. I'm tired of prophecies."

Ui scowled. "I'm going to damn well try."

"Very well then." Eto rolled her eyes. "We might spread the word that a brave band of commoners are going to root out the evil from the palace. If you go. They'll listen to a witch—or someone they trust, which is pretty much just me at the moment. You're welcome."

 _You're saving us._ Amon shook his head.  _Why are you doing this?_

He thought of her words to Touka, and Eto's story, and he understood.  _Will he want to come back to you?_

Eto had to try.

* * *

"You're helping," Touka hissed, holding a blade to Furuta's throat. Akira's heart pounded.

"Save Rize," Furuta replied. "Save her, and I'll—I'll do whatever you want." He seemed like a small child, begging for his mother.

"I know where he's keeping her," said Kimi. "It's the lowest part of the dungeons, where all the most dangerous prisoners are. There are only a few. There's a secret passageway that you can try in case the other hallways are being patrolled or have caved in."

"Do you still have it?" Akira asked, turning to Furuta.

"Hm?" He glared up at her.

"The magic mirror!"

He blinked. And nodded, patting his pocket.

"Good," said Akira. "Eto, everyone—can you tell the people to gather for an announcement? If we can get Furuta up there—have him give a speech with the mirror, exposing the truth—" She was well aware things wouldn't look good for Furuta in that case. But what else could she do? "It'd be a distraction."

"Suzuya," said Ui. "You and your squires—Takizawa, Yasuhisa—we'll all go with you, Furuta. Give everyone else as much time as possible."

"And me," said Hairu. She glared at him, crossing her arms across her chest. "I'm one of the best swordspeople we've got."

Ui swallowed. He nodded.

"We'll go to the courtyard where Kaneki is," said Hide, gesturing to Touka.

"Me, too," Tsukiyama insisted.

"I'll protect you along the way," said Kanae, grasping her sword. Tsukiyama gaped at her.

"We're going into those cells," said Akira, looking at Amon. She swallowed. The odds of them making it out weren't good. But they had to try. "And free Rize."

"I'm going with you," said Marude. "I know where they are."

Akira nodded. She could barely breathe.  _Is that going to be where I die? Without even a patch of blue sky?_

_I'm afraid. I don't want to die._

"I'm going, too," said Ayato. "You can't go by yourself."

"If you go," said Hinami. "I can help, too. I'm not useless. I can hear—you know my sense of hearing, and smell, is—"

"It's excellent," Touka said quietly.

"We'll take Kanou, then," declared Urie. He straightened.

"No, you won't," snapped Akira. "What you'll do is keep him in his chambers as long as possible—but—"

"He's a witch," said Hsiao, grabbing her shield. She tossed her hair over her shoulder. "If he wants to leave his chambers, he'll leave his chambers. So we need a distraction. I've got magical blood." She squared her shoulders.

"What?" demanded Saiko.

Hsiao avoided her eyes. "I'm one of Tsuneyoshi's bastards too. We can use me. As a decoy. Kanou will try to get his paws on me."

"I'm coming too," declared Hakatori, tossing her hair.

"How touching," Eto chortled. "And amusing considering how appalled you all were by magic a day or two ago. Except you never were, were you? You were only ever appalled at the thought that you might not be morally exceptional because then you might not deserve love."

"How are you any different?" Urie shot back.

"I know I'm fucked up, and I love it," Eto answered.

Akira felt sick. But she knew it was true. She hung her head.

"You're all going to die," warned Itori. "He's not to be trifled with."

"I have to," Touka said, voice strained. The sun glittered through the slats of the ceiling, sending diamonds of light down on them all. Akira closed her eyes. "If I had to go alone, I would."

"Well, you don't," said Ayato. Akira saw Touka glance at her brother. Her eyes watered.

"Touka," choked out Yomo, pushing himself back up, leg still broken. "You—it's not safe—you'll get—I promised—your mother—"

Touka's face drained.

"She was my sister—"

"I know," Touka whispered.

"What the hell?" erupted Ayato. "Why didn't you say something? Or were you just so worried about protecting what we thought of you that you couldn't even—"

Akira grabbed Amon, dragging him back to a corner. She looked up into his eyes. "If I die, you live."

Amon touched her face. "I'll sacrifice my life for you if I have to."

"No, that's exactly the problem," Akira interrupted, sitting on a rusted, overturned bucket. "Do you want my father or do you want me? Because we're not the same, and I don't need you to be a hero. I just need you to be Amon. Do you want me to choose my father or you? Because acting to please my father—it's been killing me." Her voice broke. Takizawa had seen it, hadn't he? He'd always known. "Can you just trust me for once? Can you believe you're worth it? Neither of us want to die. At least, I don't. But I don't want you to either—and there are no guarantees—and if—the worst—I need to know you'll still see a blue sky." Her eyes burned. "Please."

Amon squeezed his eyes shut. "I promise."

"Thank you."

"I just always—" he began, and stopped. He cleared his throat. A spider ran across her shoe and Akira didn't even kick it off. "I always wanted to be worth living. Everything—it was always to—convince myself I had the right to, that I could—that it wouldn't—that it wasn't wrong to live—after what I did with—Donato—"

 _Maybe we were never justified in taking life. Any life. Even Donato's_. Akira swallowed. She pulled his head close. "I want you to live."

Maybe deserve had nothing to do with life. Maybe being alive meant you deserved to be alive, because breath filled your lungs and your heart pumped blood, and you could know and fear and hope and love. Akira didn't know. Her father would tell her she was being sentimental. Even for her, thinking these thoughts when she had so much to prepare for was a waste of energy.

Except, it was giving her a reason.

He pulled her close. She rested her face against his chest. "We have to get Rize out," Akira managed.  _No matter what she is. A witch. A bastard. A woman who never cared for anyone else, from the rumors. She couldn't help how she was born. She deserves to live, and not like this._

"The entire time," Amon said. "I thought witches—they made the world unfair. They made it wrong. But the world is wrong because of people like me."  _People who are afraid to face themselves,_ Akira knew.

 _But I see you. And I'm here_. Akira squeezed his hand, "Let's try to make it right."

* * *

"Are you sure you're up to fighting?" Urie asked.

Mutsuki adjusted his holster, a sword dangling from it. He nodded. Urie felt his cheeks flaming and hated himself for it.

Of course, Mutsuki wouldn't feel the same way. Of course. Urie gritted his teeth. No, he couldn't allow himself to do this right now. He had a mission. And he'd be damned if he let Saiko or Mutsuki or any of the others get hurt under his watch. Shirazu would never forgive him for losing them too.

That Aogiri girl insisted on coming along. Amon told them she was good with knives.  _Hakatori_ , she answered to, like she didn't care about announcing that she was the most shameful of thieves, a grave robber.

"I have to save Maman," Saiko whispered, rocking back and forth from heel to toe, toe to heel.

 _Like you didn't save your mother? But she left_ you _._ Mutsuki glanced at Saiko, brow furrowed. Urie dropped his gaze before he could meet it. Kaneki was an idiot, but Saiko and Mutsuki both loved him, and Urie—he supposed he thought that if he didn't need to impress the man, it would mean he didn't need to impress anyone. Not even his dead father. But all he did, he did for a ghost. A slave, not a knight, clanking following him from chains, not armor.

They crept through the city. Houses stood abandoned, some looted. Others had their doors barred. Bile burned Urie's stomach. He was so hungry. His stomach rumbled. But he couldn't waste time wanting.

"Are you scared?" came a voice beside him.

Urie swallowed. Mutsuki. "Are you?"

"Yes," Mutsuki said, rather than denying it as Urie expected, even though they would both know it was a lie. He shifted his gaze to Urie as if to gauge whether Urie would scold him for not being brave.

 _Me too,_ Urie thought. His jaw ached from holding it shut.  _And I'm more scared of losing you, or Saiko, than of dying myself._

Mutsuki ducked his head. They passed a pomegranate tree, out of bloom, or else Urie would have torn into the red fruit. He could almost taste it. The night sky hung thick and velvet overhead, starless, moonless.

They slipped into the palace, the gates dangling and broken, the wall partly crumpled. In a day it looked as if the great structure had aged a hundred years. The stables were empty, but it still reeked of manure and smoked wood. Wisps of smoke rose from inside the structure. Urie glanced at Touka.

"Let's go," declared Hide, his eyes narrowed.

Kanae, Tsukiyama, Hide, and Touka slipped towards the north entrance. Marude, Ayato, Hinami, Akira, and Amon headed to the south. Ui, Hairu, Kurona, Takizawa, and a manacled Furuta headed east, Hairu holding the mirror and Takizawa hissing threats that Amon and Akira better make it back alive.

Urie turned to his group. The largest, they headed in the west gate, shattered. The hallways echoed with their footsteps, though they tried to be silent. Saiko's breaths came hitched, fast, scared. A rat skittered across the dust-strewn floor and Mutsuki jumped. They made their way towards the tower where the king's chambers were. But Kimi insisted he wouldn't be there—she said he would prefer to stay in the infirmary.

Urie hesitated, but he passed it. They slunk along the throne room entrance. Aura stopped.

"Shinsanpei?" hissed Hsiao. Her sword gleamed in the solitary torch light.

"Aunty?" he managed.

 _Shit_.

"No, Aura!" protested Mutsuki.

"San-chan!" Kiyoko called out, hobbling on wooden legs-enchanted legs, Urie realized. His heart pounded. "I missed you."

"Stay away!" Higemaru pulled out his sword, but Aura was already racing towards her.

"Get down!" screamed Urie. He threw himself at the boy, hurling him to the floor. An arrow lodged itself in Aura's shoulder. Had Urie not thrown him, it would have landed in his heart.

"What are you doing?" wailed Aura. "I need—Aunt—Kiyoko—please—you have to recognize me, you have to see me, you have to care! You have to  _care_  who I am!" He flailed, his shrieks desperate.

"You're my nephew," said Kiyoko, a sheen over her eyes. The dim light from the torch flickered over her face like a writhing demon. "And you're in my way." She raised her sword.

"Aunt Kiyoko!" screamed Aura.

A knife landed in Kiyoko's shoulder. Hakatori. Urie gasped, dragging Aura back.

"Shit!" bellowed Suzuya. Urie turned. Tanakamaru, Kuramoto, and a dozen other guards poured towards them.

"Surely one of you can think for yourself!" cried out Saiko. "I'm Saiko, and Saiko loves—"

"You left us," said Kuramoto, a funny lilt to his voice. "Hirako, too. You all left." He aimed the sword.

"Fuck," panted Urie, getting to his feet. He yanked the arrow out of Aura's shoulder. Blood streamed. Tears ran down Shinsanpei's face, and he cowered as if expecting Urie to scream at him.

"Kiyoko," wheezed Nakarai. "You practically raised me—"

She swung. Nakarai barely dodged her blade in time. Hanbee glanced at Suzuya, eyes fearful.

"What's happened to them?" whispered Higemaru.

"I've heard Eto discuss it," said Hakatori. "He placed a curse on them—it amplifies minor fears and resentments and turns them into—violence."

Higemaru panted. He looked to Urie, eyes wide in fear. His arm was still injured.

Urie leveled his sword.

The clash echoed with grunts and shrieks. More guards came running, an endless floor. Fear gnawed at Urie as he stabbed a former—well, he knew the face if not the name—in the throat.

Higemaru let out a desperate cry. Tanakamaru twisted his good arm. Even with the din of the battle, Urie heard the bone snap.

 _If he stays, he'll die._  But the enchanted blocked the path they came. The only way was to head closer to the infirmary.

Hakatori seemed to get that. She grabbed Higemaru by his waist as Aura stabbed at Tanakamaru, distracting him. Hakatori hauled Higemaru away, griping about him being accident prone.

"Urie!" Mutsuki grabbed him. "Furuta's about to—"

"Go!" yelled Suzuya. "You—Arima's—Kaneki's—squires." He beheaded a guard. Urie cringed.  _Shouldn't we at least try to save them?_ But he hadn't. What right to did he have to speak? "We'll hold them off!"

Hsiao hauled Aura. Saiko raced ahead. Mutsuki looked at Urie and nodded.

"Let's go," Urie said.

Suzuya smiled, and Urie could only hope this wouldn't be the last time he saw him alive.

Furuta's voice boomed from the balcony.


	22. XXI: The Deepest Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Come back to me, Ken!" Touka screamed. She reached the beast's scaly hide. She slammed her fists against it. "Come back! Come back! Come back!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just would like people to know that this chapter's title was chosen before TG:re 166 made the Inferno reference because that timing is fantastic.

Karren slammed Shuu back against the wall, pinning him with her arm. She held her breath as two guards marched past. Instead of chatting among themselves about lunch's stew or the pretty maiden in the tavern, silence reigned. Karren gritted her teeth.

Shuu had been nothing but worried and attentive over the past few days. But she didn't know how to face him. She couldn't shake this cold, clingy feeling that she shouldn't have been born, that her existence was a pea in a mattress needling at Shuu. And she couldn't bear to hurt him.

But he saved her. And now she was helping him save the man he loved.

 _You're under no obligation to love someone who doesn't love you back,_ Eto crooned in her memories, the words tickling Karren's ears. Karren pried herself away from the wall and led the crew down a passageway, sword out.

She wasn't.

But she couldn't shake her love for Shuu. Because she didn't want to. Because when she looked at his dedication towards the people he loved, she melted. And she knew what was behind it. Behind his audacious veneer was a boy crying for his mother, and Karren—she knew how that felt. He didn't want to be alone, but he was scared of being known.

 _I know you. I see you._ Kaneki never would. And yet… she wanted Shuu to be happy.

"There," she said, chest heaving. She pointed with her sword. Through a row of pillars, below them Kaneki writhed, a beast with leathery skin and smoke rising from his nostrils. Touka clutched her mouth. She'd borrowed a pair of britches for this mission.

"He's not guarded?" Hide managed.

"He doesn't need to be. He can breathe fire," Karren stated. "And he doesn't recognize anybody."

Hide cursed. Shuu said nothing, but he looked at her-and the way he looked at her, it was like he trusted her.

"I'll go first," Karren said. She jerked her head towards the rickety steps.

"No," snapped Shuu, grabbing her arm. "I'm not losing you again."

"For him, aren't you willing?" Karren retorted, jerking her arm away. He flinched. "It's okay," she said.

"No," Shuu retorted. "It's not. Your life matters to me too, _Karren_."

Every time he said her name, Karren's eyes filled.

"Let me go first," Hide said. "I've known him longest, and Touka—she's the one who can probably get through to him." Hide swallowed.

Shuu nodded. Hide drew his sword, though Karren knew he wouldn't use it except perhaps on some enchanted guards.

They crept down the stairs. Kaneki chuffed and pawed at the dirt. He threw his head back and let out a guttural cry. Touka sucked in her breath. And then the dragon whipped around as much as it could in the thick iron chains keeping it down. It howled.

"Kaneki—" began Hide, but a wall of fire streamed towards them.

Karren didn't even have time to shout. She grabbed Hide in front of her and Shuu behind her and shoved them off the staircase. They plummeted to the ground. Wood crackled around them. Smoke burned her nostrils. Karren pushed herself up. "Shuu!"

"I'm okay," he choked out, wobbling to his knees.

"Touka!" she bellowed.

"I'm here," came her reply from the other side of the flaming staircase. "I'm okay."

"Hide?" Karren turned to him. He lay on his stomach. " _Hide!"_ She grabbed him, turning him over.

His eyes blinked, taking her in. And his face—his chin and lips and half of his cheek— _oh, dear God._ Karren's stomach turned. Singed skin, the stench of which hit her, blood, minimal because of the burns, a charred bone—"Hide, stay down."

"Fuck," Shuu managed.

"Not helping!" Karren hissed.

"Wha—ha'ened—" Hide croaked out.

"Don't try to talk," Karren ordered. She scanned his body quickly for other injuries, lacerations or broken bones. None that she could tell.

"I have to—we have to—" Hide struggled to get up. "If I get to the 'ront I can hel'—distract so Touka ca—"

"Are you talking about sacrificing yourself?" Karen snarled. "No chance, idiot!"

"I have to!" Hide screamed. Flames reared at them again. Karren cussed, grabbed Hide and yanking him behind a broken cornerstone. Shuu grabbed Hide's legs, swinging him behind.

"Touka?" Karren yelled.

"I'm not hit."

 _Good_. Karren grabbed Hide's shoulders. "Think about what Kaneki would want for a moment, okay, Hide? Think about the fact that he just burned his best friend's face off. I think killing his best friend would be a wound he couldn't get over!" Her voice rose. She struggled to keep it down. "You don't get to sacrifice your life like that! _Value your own life, why don't you?"_

She wasn't screaming at Hide. She was screaming at herself. Shuu looked at her. His words earlier—they opened the gates.

 _I want to. I want to. I want to live._ She gagged.

"I have to," Hide choked out. "He's the—only friend I've ever had—I need him—without—I'—I ha'e-"

"Yourself," Karren said. "You have yourself." _And what if it's not enough?_

It wasn't enough to save Mother or Father. Nathanael. Arunolt. She looked up at the night sky. A glimmer of moon emerged before the clouds swallowed it up again. She glanced at Shuu. "Your ankle's broken."

"Sprained, probably," he retorted. "I can limp."

 _He's beyond reason, Kaneki._ Karren knew if it were Shuu, though, she wouldn't give up. Touka would get close until she got burned. A distraction would help, maybe, but—

"I'm so—scared," Hide choked out.

"I know," Karren assured him, touching his face. "Touka! I'm going to distract him!" She could dodge. She was the only one left. _I'm not doing this for Kaneki._ Or even Shuu. Touka, maybe, because she knew that desperation writhing inside her. And for herself. Because she was going to work for that happy ending Arunolt used to tell her about when he read her fairytales.

She hadn't read one since he died.

 _And I'm not going to die._ She gripped Shuu's shoulder. "I'll be back."

"Promise me," he pleaded, grabbing her hand.

"Keep Hide from moving," she said. "Or I'll get Matsumae to slap you."

A small smile broke through Shuu's face. He grabbed Hide, who struggled. "I have to—get to—you don't—"

"I do," Shuu insisted. "I do understand."

"Touka, are you ready?" Karren yelled, grabbing Shuu's sword, Hide's.

 _Throw_.

* * *

They were in the deepest level of the dungeons. The only torch they had was the one Ayato clutched in his hand. Half of the other cells had caved in, including Hinami's. Thank God they'd gotten her out earlier. Ayato couldn't fathom the thought of losing her. She walked next to him, strong. Stronger than he was.

"Who else is in here?" hissed Akira.

"Don't know," Marude said tersely.

"Hello?" called Hinami. Her breath came quick, scared.

 _I'll protect you,_ Ayato wanted to say. But he couldn't promise anything, and he hated it.

_Ayato, protect your sister._

He couldn't. She was about to face her boyfriend in the form of a dragon. And she didn't want to be protected. He was weak, so weak. He thought that if he could be strong, overthrow this cursed system, he could protect everyone. But he couldn't. Ayato scowled. The sound of water dripping stabbed at him with each drop.

A scream echoed. Amon swore, rushing towards what looked like a plain limestone wall. Ayato plastered his hands along it. A door. He kicked at it. It didn't budge.

"All together," Amon stated tersely. They backed up, all five of them, and threw their weight against it. It inched forward. "Again!"

It took three tries. Ayato was exhausted. A tiny girl with long, matted light hair stumbled out. Horror dawned on Akira's face.

"Who are you?" screamed the girl. "Why—"

"We're here to help!" Hinami cried out, rushing forward and throwing her cloak around the girl, who shivered in her light shift. "We're overthrowing—"

"Takizawa Seina," whispered Akira.

"Yeah? Who are you?" The girl glared up.

"I know your brother. He's a friend."

Seina's eyes widened. "He's a knight."

Amon nodded, crouching down. "He saved both of our lives. He's fighting upstairs. We'll take you to him—we have to get the other prisoners out though—one is key to defeating the witch who's taken over the kingdom—you wouldn't happen to know—"

Seina shook her head, crying. Akira wrapped her in a hug, stroking her back. And then Seina threw her head back and screamed. Ayato grabbed his sword.

But screams echoed through the caverns. Bellows. Ayato raced ahead. "This one!" He felt along the wall. _Are we going to be strong enough to get them all out?_

It took four tries that time before a man clad in black stumbled out. Amon drew his sword.

"What?" asks Hinami. Ayato froze. Something wasn't right. The terror etched in Amon's face—it looked familiar.

"Hello, Koutarou, my dear boy," said the gray-haired man, an evil smile breaking through his lips.

_What?_

"Need another witch, do you? Rest assured, I have no powers besides my innate abilities after being trapped for so long, but did they tell you I was executed? Come, come, where's my touching reunion?"

"You bastard," Amon choked out. Akira's jaw hung open.

"Oh, I see," crooned the man. "Is this your wench? Pity I wasn't invited to the wedding—"

Ayato stepped in front of Hinami and Seina.

"But if you're looking for the crown prince, I believe you'll find him around the bend, and a surprise next to him," added the man.

"We can't let Donato loose," Amon snarled. "He's a monster."

"I'm not the one who was born an ordinary human and yet helped me," Donato said.

"He was a child, bitch," snapped Akira.

"A foul tongue. Koutarou, I don't approve." Donato lunged at them. They all flinched. He laughed, and then turned and ran back the way they came.

Amon hesitated. "We have to go on," Ayato pointed out. "They're counting on us. We have to free Rize to disarm Kanou."

Amon lowered his head.

"The crown prince," breathed Marude, and Ayato remembered what he'd heard about Yoshitoki and Marude.

"I saw his body," whispered Akira.

"Not Yoshitoki," Marude managed. " _Matsuri_."

His son.

"I didn't save Yoshitoki," said Marude, clenching his fists. "But I sure as shit am saving his son. He loved that boy even if he couldn't always show it."

"Couldn't or didn't?" snapped Hinami. Ayato's eyes widened.

Marude had no answer. They threw themselves against the door five times. Ayato's ankle throbbed. "Matsuri!"

The prince squinted at them. The torch burned low. Ayato bit his lip. Marude rushed towards him, grabbing his shoulder. "We're getting you out of here."

Matsuri blinked, too stunned to talk. But as they reached the last cell, he backed up to help them.

"We have to split up," Amon said.

"Huh?" Ayato glared.

Amon gestured. "The torch is almost out. We have to find Rize. _Now_. Furuta's speech has to be happened. I'm strong. I'll stay—Marude, Matsuri—Seina, Akira, Hinami, Ayato—go on ahead."

"I'm strong too!" Ayato snarled.

"Yes, but you hurt your ankle."

Ayato scowled. And then he felt Hinami's hand on his wrist. "Come on, Ayato."

He raced down the path with Akira and Seina on their heels. The torch glimmered, flames dying, embers keeping it alive. Ayato stumbled. Hinami righted him. _Come on, come on!_ Behind them, thuds echoed, and then a crash as they got the door open.

Light glowed ahead. Ayato stilled. Green, soft light. He moved towards it. His breath came hitched.

One thing was clear: no amount of brute strength had ever prepared him for this. In a pillar of light at the center of a cave-like room complete with stalactites and stalagmites dripping, Rize hovered, her purple hair streaming around her, eyes closed. Seina yelped.

"What can we even do?" Ayato whispered.

"If you touch it, you'll die," came a voice. Ayato whirled.

Across the cave stood Donato, beaming. _How did you get here?_

"Stop!" bellowed Amon's voice. He, Matsuri, Marude, and another man staggered towards the entrance. "Don't you dare hurt them, Donato. Don't you dare. If you have to hurt someone, hurt me!"

Ayato couldn't focus on Rize anymore. That other man, with them. The last prisoner Amon and his group had freed, weak, doubled over, skin and bones, a walking skeleton. He'd know his face anywhere.

_Ayato, protect your sister._

The word came involuntarily. "Father."

* * *

 _Don't you dare die, Karren von Rosewald!_ Touka pushed herself forward, racing towards the dragon. The beast let out a horrible howl that clawed at her eardrums. But it wasn't a monster. It was Kaneki. She loved him.

"Kaneki, please!" Touka begged, coughing. Smoke choked her. Kaneki sent a wall of fire at Karren, who dove out of the way.

Touka tripped as Kaneki's tail whipped around. The spikes stabbed into her calf. Her palms scraped the ground. Blood dripped down her legs.

Kaneki threw his head back and screamed. Teeth, shadowed, terrified her.

_I can't save him._

_No!_ Touka crawled forward. "Kaneki, listen to me. I'm here. I'm Kirishima Touka. You met me in the hallway—I told you I hated you—I was wrong—"

Kaneki turned and looked at her. His dark eyes glowed. And then his mouth opened.

"No!" Karren grabbed her, yanking her out of the way and protecting them with a shield.

"It's not working," Touka choked out. But she barely tried. She had to keep trying. She thought of Ayato, when he told her he was leaving her and she thought of their father's words then, that she had to look out for her baby brother, and how unfair it was that Ayato wasn't even giving her the chance to try. And she tried and tried when he was living with her, and in the end, it just drove him away.

 _Come back_.

He came back, but not because of her. But he smiled at her. Last night, he told her he would help her. And she'd seen how he looked at Hinami.

_You're a good person now, Ayato._

Karren scrambled to her feet, nodding at Touka as she rushed to the side. Kaneki's jaws snapped at her, barely missing. Touka snuck closer again.

" _When's Father coming home?" Ayato asked, shivering._

" _Soon," she promised, but it was the third day and both their stomach rumbled._

 _Daddy, come back! Come back to me! Why wasn't I enough? Why am I never enough?_ "Come back to me, Ken!" Touka screamed. She reached the beast's scaly hide. She slammed her fists against it. "Come back! Come back! Come back! It's up to you—Eto said it's up to you—Amon came back, if he could do it you can do it, I know you can— _please_ _—don't leave me here alone!"_

The dragon turned to stare at her. Its eyelids narrowed.

"You're still in there," Touka encouraged. She took a step closer. "I know you are, Kaneki. Please. I love you. I should have told you before, but I still—I love you. No matter what you've become. No matter what you are. Come back to me." Her breath hitched.

A paw rose. Touka hesitated.

It swung towards her. Touka barely dodged, tripping over the tail. Spike cut her backside, her thighs. She cussed. "Cut it out, Ken!"

_It's not enough._

_I'm never enough._ Everyone was counting on her, doing this for her, for Kaneki, and she was letting them down.

Kaneki roared. The palace shook. Fire hit Karren's shield. And Karren, judging by the screams.

"Stop!" Touka screamed. Karren rolled around. Apparently it only hit her shoulder, because she gave Touka a thumbs up while grimacing in pain. And then she got to her feet. To do it all over again. For her.

Touka heard Tsukiyama screaming in the background. Hide. Both injured. Everyone injured. Invisible hands of guilt wrapped themselves around her throat. She gagged. _What am I doing?_

She couldn't keep this up. Karren would die. Tsukiyama. Herself. Hide. And then—Ayato, Hinami, Yoshimura—Chie—all of them-

_They're waiting for us._

If they took Kanou down, the kingdom would have a chance. Maybe-maybe they could find something else, maybe they couldn't—panic tore at Touka, stabbing her in the fingertips.

_I can't save you._

Tears ran down Touka's face. She got to her feet. One last try. And then—and then— _I'll leave him?_

_I can't._

_I can't let them die either._

"Kaneki," she said, voice shaking. "Remember when we met? And I told you all nobles were—I said some choice words about how selfish and wrapped up in your own world you were? Well, I was right. You are. You have been. And most of your nobles are like thatvbut that's not all you are. You fucked up. You don't care about—you just don't want to be alone—I don't want to be alone either—I know how you feel." A sob wracked her frame. "It hurts, doesn't it? It hurts so much."

The dragon swung its head towards her. Touka glared into its eyes. She reached out her hand, touching a scaly foot. "I don't want to leave you, Kaneki. Don't make me leave you. I can't let you kill your friends, though. That isn't what you want, is it? I hope it isn't. You'd rather die, wouldn't you? I don't want you to die."

The dragon's head came closer. "I want you to live," Touka said. "And I want to live with you. But to do that you have to live. Who made you think you had to die to be worth something? Life is—beyond worth—and I don't know how to live like that—but I want to try." _Because of you. Because you opened my eyes. You showed me how to understand a world beyond my own orbit._

 _Please, break out_. "Come back," she pleaded. "For yourself. Come back, Kaneki Ken."

 _I love you_. A teardrop splashed on the dragon's skin.

A deafening scream broke from it. Touka clamped her hands over her ears. The walls of the courtyard cracked. Karren tumbled to the ground.

And the dragon's skin started to shrink, growing more and more wrinkled, disintegrating like a decomposing corpse, and Touka could only watch, her ears still ringing, her heart slamming inside her chest.

He lay on the ground, naked. He lifted his head, blinking. Sludge, black and red like blood, coated his skin.

" _Kaneki!"_

* * *

"Why hello," said Kanou. In the distance, a dragon screamed.

Urie aimed his sword. Mutsuki's heart pounded. They'd tasked Hakatori with protecting Aura and Higemaru at the entrance to the infirmary, and preventing anyone from getting through.

Suzuya had to live. He had to. Mutsuki didn't want to lose anyone else.

"Say goodbye to your throne," Hsiao taunted.

"Oh? Little bastard girl with a foreign mommy, do you think you can actually stop me?" An evil grin split Kanou's face. He chucked and sat on one of the cots, smoothing the mattress.

"Don't speak to her that way," snapped Saiko.

"What right do you have to tell me how to speak?" asked Kanou. He got to his feet. "You're just a girl abandoned by her mother and brother whom no one cares about and who cares too much for everyone else as a result. But you never do anything about it, so why would I think you'd protect her?"

He pulled with his hand. Hsiao cried out, and then she zoomed halfway across the room, hovering above the floorboards, unable to move except her eyes. Mutsuki almost vomited in horror.

_We don't have a chance._

_What does it matter? If they can save Kaneki_ —

"Let her go!" screamed Urie.

"And you, Urie Kuki," sneered Kanou. "Your every action is a reaction to your father's death. Do you think by saving Shirazu or Hsiao or Mutsuki you'll be able to resurrect him and convince him to choose you? He won't. He already had that choice and you know what he decided."

"Shut up!" Urie's eyes bulged.

"And going back to my main point," Kanou continued. "You can't tell me how to speak when you can't so much as open your mouth. Someone did it for you to tell Mutsuki that you loved him, right? What kind of a confession is that? No wonder he doesn't want you. No one ever has." He grinned. Urie blanched.

"That's not true!" Mutsuki burst out.

 _It's painful being alone. It's agonizing._ He saw it twisted on all of their faces. Hsiao's. Saiko's. Urie's. Even Kanou's. _We're all in agony. We can't move, because we're in so much pain._

A dragon screamed.

Kanou snorted. "That's rich, coming from you, you _liar_."

"I am a liar," Mutsuki said, stepping forward. "And so are you."

Because they were all around him. All alone, but they were all here. He met Hsiao's eyes, trapped. Saiko's, terrified. Urie's, traumatized. Outside that door were Higemaru and Aura. All alone. All together.

"You're going to die here, you know that?" Kanou asked. "I'm going to finish you off one at a time. Increasing horror. Maybe Mutsuki will snap and do to you what he did to his first family."

Mutsuki flinched. But no. They weren't his parents and brother. They—he saw Urie's fear. Fear for him. Not of him. He stepped in front of Mutsuki.

Urie did care about him.

"You'll be okay, Mutsuki," Urie said. To him, not to Kanou. "I promise."

"Liar," whispered Kanou. Mutsuki flinched again. He wanted to shake Kanou's words out of his head, refuse to let them bounce around inside his skull. "Tell me, Urie Kuki, what gives Mutsuki Tooru the right to live, and me to be condemned?"

"He was a child," Urie said.

"So was I, once."

"You find joy in pain," Urie burst out. "He—he knows—don't you see—he knows what he's done wrong—he doesn't make excuses to others, only to himself—and he has—such a capacity for kindness—"

"You don't think that was just comforting you so you won't hurt him further? You don't think you're an abusive piece of trash? Didn't you call him useless? Didn't you call Aura an inconvenience? My, my, how shocking they turned against you."

 _No!_ That wasn't true. Mutsuki knew it wasn't. Except— _yes_ , and no—things were so complex. Urie was alone, and he saw himself in Urie in that moment, and he did for Urie what no one had ever done for him, what no one had presumably done for his father ever, for Kanou: wrapped his arms around him, told him his pain was real. And Urie changed. His father never had. Urie—Urie saw him as he was, and as he could be, and no one else ever had. Certainly not Kaneki, who didn't even see him as he was.

 _You_ do _love me._

The guilt hit Urie's face. He stumbled. His mouth opened in a cry. Mutsuki wanted to reach for him again, but he couldn't take the risk Kanou would use that opportunity to kill Saiko or Hsiao.

A howl tore through the balance, trembling through the floor. Mutsuki staggered to keep his balance. The dragon. Screaming, like nothing Mutsuki had ever heard before. The glass covering the windows shattered.

Kanou's eyes widened. He glanced towards the window, and then as Urie lunged, He rose higher, towards the vaulted ceiling. He sent a bolt of light at Urie.

But Mutsuki hit Urie first, grabbing him, pushing him back, back from the light, back from death, because someone who was capable of seeing the good in him-that someone deserved to live. That someone could do something so beautiful for the world.

And perhaps, Mutsuki wanted to thank him.

"Mutsuki!" bellowed Urie. His sword clattered to the floor. Kanou cackled in the distance, but then his laughter faded, and Mutsuki didn't hear it anymore. He saw Urie, felt Urie's gloves clutching his face, saw Saiko pressing her hands on the wound to his abdomen.

"I'll get him!" yelled Hsiao, free Mutsuki supposed.

"Hold on, Mutsuki," Urie insisted. "You're not going to die; you're not, I won't let you!"

_You really love me._

_You're beautiful._


	23. XXII: Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't--get yourself killed for me," Hairu rasped.
> 
> "It's all been for you."

"Ayato?" Hinami questioned. He gaped at the man, shaking from head to toe. His lips moved, but no words came out. And the man—the prisoner—knelt on the ground, covering his eyes as if he couldn't bear to look at Ayato.

"That's—my—" Ayato choked out.

 _Your father_? Hinami tried to imagine how she would feel if she discovered her parents were actually alive and being kept in the innermost depths of the palace dungeon. Horror shot through her. Gorge rose to her mouth. _How long has he been there?_ All of these prisoners stunk. Were they even allowed to shower?

"Oh my God," breathed Akira. Amon gaped in horror. Marude cussed. Matsuri just stared, expression vacant.

Something rocked the palace above. Hinami stumbled. Dust fell down onto them.

"We have to move," Amon managed. He stepped towards Rize.

"Did you not hear a word I said?" boomed Donato's voice. "Touch that light, and you die."

"Why would I believe a word that comes out of your foul mouth?" Amon lashed out. "You're a liar, Donato—you're the father of lies and you always have been! You—used me—"

"And you let yourself be used," Donato mocked. "Because you were so desperate to be loved after your parents were buried and rotted away, consumed by maggots, in unmarked graves. You're no one special. And it seems that didn't change once Mado Kureo took you under his wing. Oh yes, I heard things. I talked, to find information on _you_." His eyes sparkled. Akira grabbed Amon's shoulder.

Ayato couldn't move. He stared, shaking his head. The man refused to look at him.

"Look at him," Hinami heard herself saying.

The man looked up at her.

"Look at him," she insisted.

The man met Ayato's gaze, and Ayato snapped. He charged at—at Marude, at Matsuri, not at his father. "Why was he kept down here?" Ayato demanded. "You have to know. Why? _Why?"_

Donato burst into laughter. "Looks like your motley crew is disintegrating right before the climax."

"You stop with your witchcraft!" Amon thundered.

Donato thrust his hands in the air. "I'm doing nothing. It's all from you. I have next to no power right now, remember, and no one's dead so I haven't drained them."

"I don't know!" cried out Matsuri, stumbling back.

"Because," Marude said. "He was a well known thief—he killed several guards but—he was good at crafting armor—they used him to—"

"And he lost his mind because of it?" screamed Ayato. "He had kids! Or did he never mention it?"

"I mentioned," whispered Arata, rocking back and forth. "Touka. Ayato. Hikari."

But the mother was dead. That Hinami knew.

"You bastards!" screamed Ayato.

The cave rollicked again. This time Hinami lost her footing, tumbling to the ground. Her palms scraped the rough limestone. She craned her neck, watching Rize float in that tank. Was the woman even aware?

"I invite you to reconsider," Donato continued. "She's been tortured in there—it's painful, you know, extracting her power. Not to mention she was a selfish person anyways. Her adopted father Shachi is dead because of her."

"You—shut up," Akira choked out. "Arima told me—about Shachi. He died—talking about—protecting Rize—he loved her—"

"And you didn't care because what was another commoner," mocked Donato.

"Why did Arima—" Amon started.

No one made a move towards the pillar of light, and Hinami knew, looking at Amon's face, that Donato was not lying. The pillar would most likely kill them.

But they had to get her out. The rest of their friends were counting on them. Hinami watched Ayato, gaping at his father. She thought of her own parents. Were they watching her? Right now? She thought of Kaneki, a dragon, who sacrificed for them—to save them—to save her—in the courtroom, too, he tried. Why was he so willing?

_I want to be like you._

They had to end this. For Kaneki. For the kingdom, for the future.

Hinami took a step forward. Fear hitched in her chest, sparking. She let out her breath. The sound echoed. The light pillar snapped and snarled, Rize's violet hair floating around her. A lump grew in her throat.

_I don't want to die._

_Touka, Kaneki_ _—live. Please live. With you, I almost felt like I had a family again. Ayato_ _—I trust you to make sure they do._

Hinami raced towards it. And then a figure flew out from the side, knocking her to the ground. Her shoulder rammed into a stalagmite. "No!" bellowed Ayato, pinning her down, his hips on her stomach. "I'm not letting you do that, Hinami. No way. You can't die. You can't die. I won't let you. You—matter—too much—" His chest heaved. "If I couldn't save my father I _sure as hell am gonna save you!"_

Hinami coughed. The cave shook again. Debris fell from the ceiling. A stalactite crashed and shattered right next to Akira. Ayato wrapped his arms around her, covering her head with his. Protecting her.

"What are you doing?" Hinami choked out. "We—have to—someone has to—"

"Not you, Hinami," Ayato said, cupping her face. "Not you."

" _Someone_ —"

"You matter too much to me," Ayato yelled. "If it has to be someone, I'd do it—you— _live_ , Hinami, you have to live—you are—your parents wanted—the world needs more people like you. Innocent, and kind, and no matter what atrocities the world throws at you like the angry bitch it is you stay kind—you're a special person, you know that?" Tears, actual tears, ran down his face. He wiped his eyes as if embarrassed.

Hinami gaped. Because she always thought that made her weak. If she was stronger, she could have fought off Mado, helped her parents escape. "But—"

"You're strong," Ayato added. "You're so fucking strong, Hinami. It doesn't matter that you can't run miles and miles without stopping. You make me—want to live. You give me something—I feel like the world might get better—"

"You two are kids," Amon said, voice rough. "I'll do it."

"Amon!" yelled Akira. "I'm not losing one more—you don't have anything to prove!"

"Someone—"

"She's right, _Koutarou_ ," taunted Donato, circling them. "But oh no, you think you're all grown up now, don't you? You think you know everything. But you don't. You're still stuck in thinking the world is comprised of black and white, good and evil."

Amon's faw fell open. "I'm—"

Donato turned, and leapt into the pillar of light.

" _Donato!"_ screamed Amon.

The light, a ghostly blue, twitched, turned orange like fire, red like blood. Hinami screamed. Ayato grabbed her and dragged her to her feet as rocks fell from the ceiling.

And then Donato staggered out, Rize in his arms. He dropped Rize, and he dropped to the ground.

"What the fuck?" bellowed Amon, charging towards the man. Ayato clutched Hinami. They both stared.

Donato lay gasping. The light faded to a wisp, and snapped away, leaving them solely in the dark. Rize groaned. "What—"

"Make me proud, my idiot son," Donato rasped.

* * *

The guards poured through first. Ui couldn't bring himself to look at their faces. He tried to knock them out. It didn't work sometimes. They had to be killed.

_I'm a murderer._

_I've always been a murderer._

Takizawa grabbed one of the guards. "Recognize me, do you?"

Kurona knocked a guard to the ground behind Ui. Furuta's voice boomed in the background. It was not the sound Ui wanted his death to be to.

"Shit," Ui heard Hairu gasp. He turned to see her knock a guard to the ground, a sword through his throat. Blood streamed from her abdomen. She clutched it with her hand, crimson running down her fingers.

"Hairu!" Ui raced towards her. He wasn't losing her. Not now. And a knife plunged into his own side. Ui gagged. He wheezed, doubling over. His fingers fumbled to pluck out the knife. No internal organs. But. He looked up, and he saw a sword coming for his head.

 _I deserve this._ It was fitting he should die defending Hairu, and Furuta. He'd sold his soul to Furuta for her, and he still—he loved her.

" _Koori!"_

Ui saw her then. Standing, hair pink and whirling around her like a cloud. Eyes green, focused. A dagger in her hand. A dagger, flying. A dagger, sticking out of the eye of the man who'd almost lopped Ui's head off.

The man groaned, doubling over and falling to the ground.

Hairu collapsed, clutching her abdomen. Ui scrambled towards her. _Shit_ —she should have just lied there—now she'd be bleeding even more—"You brainless—"

"Don't—get yourself killed for me," Hairu rasped.

Ui blinked. He crouched next to her, feeling faint. Their blood mingled on their clothes, running in a single stream onto the floor. "I—it's all been for you."

"Why?" Hairu choked out.

Ui shook his head. He reached out, leaving bloody streaks on her cheek, but at least he was caressing her face. "Hairu... "

If he couldn't say it now, could he ever say it? And if he was not going to say it, wasn't it all him? Wasn't it all his fault, for not telling her, for causing her to take all those risks hoping she could earn love, when she never had to?

"I love you," he blurted out. His face burned. His hands felt cold as he pressed the warm blood flowing from Hairu's wound. "I've loved you since—since the day we met. When you called me _Koori_ , do you remember?" _You never had to earn it. It was always yours._

Hairu's eyes bugged. "How—why—"

"Do you really think you're so unlovable?" Ui managed. "Hairu, you're—good, and strong, and brave, and beautiful—you love life and I—" _I forgot what life was._ He lowered his head to Hairu's shoulder. His skull felt heavy.

"Koori…"

"If someone has to die, let it be me," Ui said, praying out loud. "You—live, Hairu, you're—I love you, Hairu; God, I love you, Hairu, so much."

The palace shook. Ui looked up. Guards advanced on him and Hairu. He covered her, squeezing his eyes shut. He'd always assumed he'd look death in the face, but he couldn't, not when he had life in his arms.

And then a clank. And screams. Lots of screams.

"Koori!" Hairu gasped.

Ui looked up. The guards were looking around, dazed, shocked, horrified. Sweat dripped down Ui's temples. This hurt.

"The spell's broken," called Kurona. She and Takizawa stood. The guards all gaped, and then—

Kanou burst into the chambers. The guards screamed again. He sent them flying back against a wall. Kurona and Takizawa struggled, but they were pinned. It felt like pressure, keeping them in place, paralyzing them. Ui struggled to breathe. He held Hairu. She slid her eyes to him, and there was a look in them, a look he'd never seen before. Fear, for him.

 _Oh, Hairu_ —

Furuta came flying across the marbled floor, crashing over a table. His shoulder sent a vase smashing against the floor. Blood streamed. Furuta dragged himself.

"Isn't this what you wanted?" taunted Kanou. "To die?"

"At least you've—lost," panted Furuta. "I know that sound—the guards—they're free— _she's_ free, isn't she? She's free! Your power's limited now, won't last—the kingdom knows—they all know—"

Kanou grabbed the air. Furuta rose off the ground, gagging, as if Kanou'd grabbed him by the throat.

"The cage broke," Kanou said. "And you will die the waste of space you always knew you were."

"I—know," Furuta eked out.

Ui struggled. He couldn't move at all. _You're not a waste_. _No more than I am._ Regret tore through Hairu's eyes. Siblings, were they?

The floor erupted. Marble flew everywhere. Hairu pushed his head down. Ui could move again. "What's happening?" she yelled.

Ui peered out. Purple hair flowing around her, Rize Kamishiro stood in front of a giant hole in the floor, as if she'd just flown up from the depths of the palace. And Ayato, Hinami, Amon, Akira, Marude, _Matsuri_ —and people he didn't recognize—stood behind her.

"How?" breathed Kanou.

"Rize," croaked Furuta. "Rize—Rize—you're alive—"

She looked down at him with her lip curled. And then her gaze focused on Kanou. "A witch sacrificed himself. Temporary power from what was left of his life. You know how it goes. But he's dead, so I'm stronger than you—you're losing it, you know. You're weak."

Kanou hissed. He tried to back up, but Rize grabbed him through the air. "You little bitch."

"Kill him," wheezed Furuta.

Rize's arms stretched out. Kanou gagged. She looked as if she was pulling something towards her. Wind whipped through the room.

And then Kanou crumpled, crying. And Rize stopped.

"I have my power back now, you dick," Rize informed him. "You're just as—useless—I don't want to waste it killing you. Someone put him in chains, or are you all useless?" she yelled at the guards.

Ui tried to push himself up. He stumbled. Hairu looked up at him, agape.

Their wounds. They were healed. Ui felt for the hole in Hairu's abdomen. Nothing but smooth skin, albeit bloodsoaked.

Kanou turned, and Kurona let out a shout. He dashed for the balcony. A scream. A crash. And it was over.

"Try to come for me," panted Rize. "And I'll—"

"We don't want to hurt you," blurted out Takizawa. "You—are a victim."

A witch, and a victim. Ui closed his eyes. And then Takizawa let out a scream. "Seina!"

A girl dressed in a prison shift, hair tangled and greasy, raced towards him, sobbing. She threw her arms around him. His mouth hung slack in shock. _Did you think she'd hate you?_

"What about Kaneki?" demanded Hairu.

Ui shook his head. Furuta looked up at Rize like she was his sun. Dawn broke outside.

And hands grabbed Ui's neck, pulling him down, and lips, sweet, found his, caressed his. Hairu. She was kissing him. Ui stumbled. She bit her lip, brow pinched as if in concern.

He dove down again, opening his mouth to take hers. And then, Ui cried.

* * *

"Hold on," Urie barked as more of Mutsuki's blood poured out. This was hardly what he dreamed about when he dreamed about holding Mutsuki in his arms. He cursed.

"Saiko's here, Mucchan," Saiko encouraged, her voice catching. Mutsuki's bronze skin looked pallid. Hsiao took off after Furuta. Aura, Higemaru and Hakatori came in. All three of them stopped in their tracks. Urie wanted to spit at them. _Don't look like that! He's going to be fine. He's going to be_ _—fine, fine_ _—he has to be fine!_

"I'm not losing you," Urie ground out. Not like Shirazu. Not like his father. Not like Kuroiwa Iwao. " _Stay with me!"_

"'s—not up—to you," Mutsuki panted.

"I need you to stay," Urie said. "I want you to—God, if there's a God—Father—someone—" His mouth hung open, a silent scream of agony. _"Don't you fucking die on me!"_

Mutsuki gulped. Blood bubbled from his wound. It felt searing hot on Urie's hands. Mutsuki's lips curved into a smile. "You—love me."

"Yeah," Urie choked out, tears streaming down his face as Hige and Aura crouched down. Hakatori folded her hands, her eyes squeezed shut to block out the inevitable. _I can't save you. I can't save him. I can't save Mutsuki, and I love him_. "I love you. Tooru, I love you. Tooru, you—your love set me free, Tooru—I love you."

It's all he could do. Tell Mutsuki he loved him, and hope.

Mutsuki pried his eyes open. His breaths came quick, labored. Agony twisted his face, and Urie couldn't soothe it. Mutsuki spotted the pendant dangling from Urie's neck. "Thank you," Mutsuki managed. "I—want to—" His voice broke down. "I want to—love you—I want to—"

Urie gaped. And then Mutsuki's eyes rolled back. His chest didn't move.

He wanted to scream. He needed to scream. The scream bubbled up in his throat, choking him. All he could do was moan. He leaned over, pressing his face against Mutsuki's still-warm cheek, tears splashing his skin.

Something brushed his cheek. A breeze. Urie sniffled.

Another.

He pulled back. Saiko let out a shriek.

Mutsuki's chest rose and fell. His eyes met Urie's. Urie shook his head. Frantic. _This_ _—this_ _—how is_ —

Mutsuki coughed and pushed himself up.

"Whoa, whoa!" cried Urie. "You can't—you were just—" _Were you not actually dead?_

"I don't feel any pain," Mutsuki eked out.

Saiko reached for his torn shirt, pulling it up past the wound. Blood-stained, scarred skin met their sight. But no wound.

"How?" Urie breathed.

Saiko let out a wail, throwing her arms around Mutsuki, holding him tight and bawling. Aura and Higemaru flung themselves at him. Mutsuki flinched, his eyes wide, shocked. That they cared. That they meant it.

 _You're so loved,_ Urie thought. But Mutsuki's gaze landed on him. Urie swallowed.

"You meant it," said Mutsuki.

"I—" Urie cleared his throat. "Well, yeah. I meant it. I—"

Mutsuki grabbed him in an embrace, holding his shoulders, squeezing. And Urie couldn't talk. A lump in his throat choked him. Mutsuki pulled back, a small smile on his lips. And then he leaned in and pressed those lips against Urie's. He pulled back, gaze hesitant.

Urie straightened on his knees, reaching out and cupping Mutsuki's face. He kissed him again, harsher this time, more desperation leaking through. Mutsuki tasted like mint and tea and home.

"When did the palace become a whorehouse," complained Hakatori. "Hey!" Higemaru had elbowed her.

"Your arms!" Urie burst out, coming up for air.

"My shoulder's fixed, too," Aura added with a shrug.

"What the hell is going on?" panted Urie.

"Does it matter?" asked Saiko.

"It's over, isn't it?" asked Mutsuki, clutching Urie's hands. And Urie saw it on his face. For Mutsuki, it would never be over. His childhood. And for Urie. His father would always be dead. Always.

But they were here now. Urie got to his feet, hoisting Mutsuki with him. They stumbled into the hallway, finding everyone gathered, bedraggled and blood-splattered, but alive.

"Wounds inflicted by the enchanted didn't last?" wondered Ui.

"No, I felt like sharing some of my power," Rize said, voice bored. "As a thank you. For getting me out of there, even though I know you only did it to stop Kanou and not because you actually gave a shit about me."

"Not true," said Ui. "I mean. For most of us. Yeah. But—for some of us—"

"He cared," said Hairu, nodding at Furuta. "He staged a coup and put a lot of people's lives at risk including my own for _you_."

Ui bowed his head.

"Huh," Rize said. "Interesting." She lowered her hand. Furuta reached up for him to help him up.

"Shit," gasped Suzuya's voice. Hanbee helped him up, Nakarai helped Aura Kiyoko, and Tanakamaru supported by Kuramoto and Tamaki. Mikage smiled.

"Your leg!" Mutsuki gasped.

Juuzou's leg was severed at the thigh, but not bleeding. Everyone turned to Rize.

"I kept people from dying; not re-grew limbs!" barked Rize.

"Mutsuki was dead," Urie cut in.

"Maybe on the cusp but if he was dead he wouldn't be here now," retorted Rize. "What more do you want?"

"Fair enough," said Furuta. "Thanks, by the way."


	24. XXIII: Limits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wake up," said Juuzou. "I—don't know what to say—I—please come back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter, if you celebrate!

Soft gold and garnet light cascaded around him. Kaneki blinked. His brain felt foggy, like he was emerging from a deep slumber in which he'd been tormented by nightmare after nightmare, never able to awake. His mother, hitting him when he begged her to read to him. His mother, telling him he was needy. His aunt, telling him he was diabolical and simply wanted to make her son look bad to get revenge on her because he blamed her for his mother's death, when that wasn't true—or was it? He couldn't even remember. He didn't know. He didn't know himself.

And then there were the faces of his squires, screaming. Mutsuki, clawing at a dungeon. Urie, lashing out at him, telling him he was incompetent and only cared about himself, and he was-right. Shirazu, desperate to talk to him, asleep when Kaneki visited, asleep forever, maybe. Saiko, screaming for him not to leave her.

 _You don't care,_ Urie's voice said.  _You only care about yourself. Everything is for you. Saving Hinami is for you, so you won't feel badly._

"Kaneki," a voice came, a voice from his dream, but a different dream. Kaneki focused.

"You're back," choked out the voice. He saw her. Dark indigo hair plastered to her face, sweat pouring down her neck, britches and tunic charred in places, torn, splattered with mud and blood.

"Touka?" he croaked.

She grabbed him, pressing her face into his shoulder. And she bawled, wails erupting from her chest.

"Oh thank God, you fucking idiot," snarled a voice.

Kaneki squinted. He peered up. Kanae von Rosewald looked down on him. Fear jabbed into him. "Am I dead?"

"Shockingly no," the knight responded. "And neither am I."

"Kaneki!" Tsukiyama tore across the courtyard, limping. He fell flat on his face. "Ow."

Kanae helped him up, face tender. Kaneki swallowed. Touka clutched him.

"What did I do?" Kaneki managed. "Touka—how long has it been—what did I do?"

Touka's face crumpled. Kaneki took in a large, leathery skin around them. A dragon? Did they have to slay one? Was one holding him hostage?

And he knew.

 _I was the dragon. It held me hostage, but I surrendered to it._ He remembered Kanou coming at him, his light hitting him and all of his worst memories, his worst fears, tearing through his brain, searing his skull, cutting off his airway, and he was aware of voices yelling, but he thought—he thought he could do it—and then he knew he couldn't and he just hoped they remembered him bravely. Like a hero. Like a knight.

 _I am no hero. I am a fool._ "How many died?" he eked out, tears falling.

Touka cupped his face in her hands. "A lot, but it wasn't all you. We all—helped concoct that shitty plan."

"But I became the dragon," Kaneki whispered.

And she kissed him then. Kaneki couldn't breathe. When she pulled back, violet light framed her lashes. "Yes," she said. "You did. You fucked up, Kaneki, and I—I still—I love— _I love you."_ A sob broke through her lips. "No matter what. I'll help you. Let me help you."

"Kaneki," came a voice.

He whirled around. A wooden staircase lay splintered and charred. And from behind a cinder block emerged a boy with orange hair and a burned face, and yet he looked beautiful, not repulsive. "H-Hide?"

_I did that. I did that to my best friend._

"He came to help," said Touka.

"Not—in tighne," rasped Hide, falling to his knees in front of Kaneki.

"I did that," Kaneki whispered. "Hide, I'm so sorry—Hide—"

"You're my best friend," Hide said. "I don't care."

"I care," Kaneki snapped.

Hide's face caved in. Tears ran down, mingling with blood. "I—knew you were in trou'le—'ut I—I thought I could 'ix it—'ithout—you 'ouldn't ha'e to—I thought—I 'asn't there to 'rotect you—"

 _That was never your job. It was never any of your jobs. And yet you saved me_. Kaneki grabbed Hide, holding his friend as he cried.

Because those words of Kanou's as he transformed echoed in his mind.  _It didn't have to turn out like this._

_I thought if I could be a knight, could be a hero, I could deserve to live._

The air filling his lungs was clean, was sweet. Touka stroked his hair.

"I need to—turn myself in," Kaneki managed.

"I'm not sure there's much point," said Kanae. "Everything's gone to shit. You've missed a lot, Kaneki Ken."

" _Hey!"_ bellowed a voice. Kaneki turned around to see Ayumu Hogi waving at them. "Better get in here!"

A few minutes later and Kaneki felt dazed from all they were telling him. The castle was in shambles, but it might not all be on him.

"Well, would you look at that?" asked a sour voice. Kaneki turned. Eto stood there, her arms crossed over a low-cut dress and Naki, Miza, Noro, and Tatara with her. "A happy ending."

"Not entirely," rasped Urie, appearing with Mutsuki on his arm. Kaneki tried to catch Mutsuki's eye. Mutsuki kept his gaze downcast. "The enchanted are—still asleep—and Rize says she can't wake them up."

"Oh yeah," said Eto. "I'm no witch, Kaneki Ken. Kamishiro Rize is."

"I heard that part," Kaneki said.

"You're all idiots," said Rize, sitting on a toppled pillar and swinging her leg. She munched on a plate of food Yoshimura had somehow scrounged up for her. Eto's eyes darkened. "When you all healed-that wasn't me-I  _shared_  my power, not made shit happen. Everyone has  _some_  magic in them. You made it happen. You should know, shouldn't you, kitchen girl?"

Touka stiffened.

"You got him to de-dragonize before I even got free."

"Anyways I can't wake them up." Rize sank her teeth into an apple. "It's up to them. And you."

"Fine," huffed Eto. "Happy?"

"I really don't care," said Rize.

"What is going on?" asked Kaneki, head spinning. Hinami and Ayato clutched each other, looking nervous.

"I think I know," Akira said, exchanging a glance with Amon.

"I already know where his goddamn chambers are," Eto announced, flitting away. Kaneki frowned.

Touka looked at him and laughed. She pulled him along. Pretty much the entire crowd followed.

"Time to wake up, Kishou," Eto announced as she stalked into his chambers. The curtains were drawn. Vases lay shattered on the floor, but the stale scent of death hovered. He lay still in the bed.

"What's she doing?" demanded Ui. Hairu shook her head.

Eto crawled over him, knees on his hips. She leaned down, pulling her mint hair back. And her lips found Arima's. Kaneki's jaw dropped. "You don't get to die so easily," Eto hissed.

A gasp emerged from Arima's lips. His eyes flew open. He retched, coughing.

"He probably needs water," Eto said, sitting back on the silk sheets.

"Yoshimura—what are you doing here?" Arima croaked. He blinked at them all. "Why's everyone—"

"Rize probably wants to slap you," said Eto, crossing her legs under her. "Not in the fun way I like to slap you."

Ui covered his ears.

"But Shirazu doesn't—someone needs to get Shinohara's wife—" Urie started.

"No," Kaneki said, clutching Touka's hand. He thought of her, and Hide, and Tsukiyama. "Love's not limited to romantic."

Mutsuki, Saiko, and Urie surrounded Shirazu, hands on his shoulders, and Kaneki stood back.  _I failed them._  He missed that opportunity.

 _But they didn't fail each other_.

Shirazu's eyes snapped open. He swore. Saiko giggled, throwing her arms around him.

Hanbee carried Juuzou to Shinohara's bedside. Juuzou reached out, taking his mentor's hand. He swallowed, eyes filling.

"Wake up," said Juuzou. "I—don't know what to say—I—"

"It's okay, don't you think?" asked Hanbee.

"I never told him I loved him. I don't even know what that is. I just know—he—gave me a chance—and he—I would give anything to spend another day with him."

"I think he knew," said Hanbee. "Er. Knows."

"Please come back," Juuzou said. "You're—like a father to me."

Shinohara squeezed Juuzou's hand.

Touka let out a cry.

* * *

Ayato couldn't bring himself to look at his father, but the moment Touka gasped, he knew she'd seen him.

"Are you okay?" Hinami asked him, drawing back from the crowd rushing to get food and water to the three awoken souls.

Ayato scowled.  _Of course._  But there was no judgment in her voice. He shook his head. The words surged within him, hot. "I hated that man. I wrote him of for—for leaving us—and he—even if he wanted to come back to us—he couldn't—but the whole reason he got caught was because he kept stealing—I heard Touka telling Yomo about it—"

And now that he was back, it didn't erase any of what had been done.

Peoples' bodies still lay outside, probably soon to bloat in the sun. Blood stained the halls. Kanou left corpses in his wake, and broken walls and broken hearts. Eto, too.

He spotted Akira holding Amon, who looked just as lost as Amon felt.

_We both got our fathers back. And then you lost yours._

_And neither of us were correct in our impressions of them, were we?_

"You gonna hug your daddy?" snorted a voice. Ayato jumped. Rize stood there, scowling at them all, and he saw for a moment the fury and the pain sizzling behind her veneer. Nothing could erase what had been done to her.

"Shut up," Ayato said. Hinami sucked in her breath.

Rize rolled her eyes. "They killed my father. Shachi. And I didn't care, because it meant I got his inheritance."

Ayato recoiled.

"He loved me," Rize said. "I wish—I wish I had cared then. He wanted me to be safe. He would have protected me. See, it's really all about what I want and me in the end, isn't it? But I don't think it's any different for you."

"Is there a point to this?" Ayato snapped.

"What do you want?" Rize asked, and then she walked away. Off to do whatever she wanted, Ayato supposed.

_What do I want?_

_I want…_ Ayato watched Touka grab their father in an embrace.  _I want this not to have happened. I want to go back in time, but at the same time I don't, because I want_ — _I want_ — _what's happened, too._

Hinami put her hand on Ayato's shoulder. Comforting him. And he didn't want to jerk away and insist he was strong and could shoulder it all on his own. Because she was strong too, and weak, and her weakness didn't make her less wonderful of a person.

"I'm sorry," Hinami said, voice catching.

"Hinami," Ayato said, turning and catching her hand by the wrist. He held it between them. She stared up at him, eyes brown and round and open. "Thank you—for saving me." In so many ways, she lit the path.

Hinami blinked.

Ayato pressed his face closer. His breath came short. Her gaze stayed fixated on him, but there was no doubt or confusion. He lowered his lips to hers.

When he pulled back. Hinami smiled at him.

"Come with me," he requested.  _I don't want to go alone._

_I'm weak, I'm weak, you see. Help me._

She took his hand, hers soft on the outside, palms calloused. Ayato wormed his way through the crowd to find Touka still weeping, Kaneki standing shamefaced behind her.

"I thought you were dead," Ayato said by way of greeting. He didn't know what else to start with besides the truth.

"I'm sorry," whispered Father. It was the same voice he remembered, hoarse and cracking, but he would know it anywhere.

Ayato swallowed, straightening. Kaneki's eyes narrowed as he took in Hinami and Ayato's intertwined hands.

"You're all grown up," Father said, peering up into Ayato's face. "You're—what you kids all did here—you're incredible." His eyes teared up.

_You missed so much, and you know it, don't you?_

"It's okay, old man," Ayato said. "This is Fueguchi Hinami. My betrothed."

"Betrothed?" cried out Touka.

"According to whom?" demanded Kaneki.

"According to us!" Ayato snarled. They'd kissed. That was enough, right?

"You didn't formally ask, but I accept," said Hinami.

He flushed. But she smiled at him, like she was amused. If he had lost her… Ayato couldn't bear the thought. But she was here. And she knew how he felt about her. And he wasn't embarrassed.

"Hey, 'Yato!" yelled Naki, staggering towards them, his hand clutching Miza. "You really did it, didn't you? Led a revolution. Tatara said he knew you could do it!"

"Because you were bawling like baby when he disappeared after the raid," Miza said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey!" Naki called, waving to Akira. She scowled.

"Thank you," Father said, reaching out his hand to Naki, to Miza. He even looked beyond them, to Tatara. " _Thank you."_

For taking care of me. A pang hit Ayato in the chest.

"Thank you," Father added to Yoshimura, who nodded, and whose gaze broke when he found Eto draping herself over Arima. Ayato couldn't imagine his father having left and parented other kids. He already spent most of his childhood feeling broken.

"Arata!" called a voice. Uta helped Yomo up the steps.

"Renji!"

"You two know each other?" demanded Touka.

"He's your mother's baby brother," answered Father.

 _Huh?_  Ayato's eyes bugged out. Hinami gasped.

Touka slugged Yomo across the face. Uta snickered.

"You're—exactly like Hikari," grunted Yomo.

 _So I wasn't as abandoned by family as I thought_. Though, he supposed, Yomo didn't go after him when Ayato ran away. But they tried.

"Ayato," whispered Father. "I'm so sorry—I—"

"Not your fault," Ayato heard himself say. The words came out rough.

Fingers caressed his face. He looked down to see Father stroking his cheek. "Your mother would be so proud. and I—I'm—"

Ayato's lip trembled.

Hinami squeezed his shoulder.

And Ayato broke down, and Hinami held him, and when he reached out, his father's arms held him too.

* * *

It was hard work, burning all the bodies. Karren's back ached and the stench infected her from the inside out, making her feel as if she would never be clean again. The kingdom was still in shambles and length debates had already erupted about who was fit to rule and how to create a kingdom that didn't have to keep snotty rules about commoners versus nobility. Though, practically speaking, it'd be generations before that fully died away in practice.

Karren leaned back against the wall of one of the walkways. The sun bled in the sky, dusk dripping down. She grabbed a canteen and gulped the water from it.

"I've been looking all over for you," came Shuu's voice.

Karren craned her neck. "Hello." Her face burned.

"You didn't have to help out, you know. You'd already done enough," Shuu said, wincing as he settled himself next to her. He stuck his injured leg out.

"Shuu, you shouldn't—"

"Banjou already looked at it. He's treating Hide." Shuu blew his strand of blue hair up into the air with his breath. He slid his eyes towards Karren. "You're not a servant, Karren."

"Yes, I am," she replied. "In practice, if not actually."

Shuu blanched. "My father—he didn't treat you well—he said it was to protect you, ostensibly—"

 _It didn't protect me from me._  "He saved my life by letting me stay with him," Karren said. "I don't begrudge him anything." She tugged at one of the fraying threads of her britches. "I thought a boy would be less of an inconvenience to him. And I wanted to carry on my family name."

"You aren't an inconvenience," Shuu burst out. He reached out and grabbed her shoulder. Karren blinked. "You aren't. I—I never meant to give you that impression."

"You didn't."

Shuu rolled his eyes. "I'm not a god, Karren. I fucked up. My—if I hadn't been so foolish—a lot of my staff would still be alive." His voice caught.

Karren passed him the water. She wanted to comfort him. She had no words. She was so tired.

He drank. And he smiled at her.

"I'm glad," Karren said. "That we were able to save Kaneki." She yanked one of the threads out. The sky slapped indigo indigo paint over them. "I would have sacrificed anything to save Nathanael, or Arunolt." She used to wish she hadn't been born, if it meant they wouldn't have sacrificed themselves for her.

But she was breathing, and they had sacrificed themselves for her, and she had Shuu. Even if he never loved her, she could love him. And she couldn't regret it.  _I was born, and I'm alive, and I'm glad._

"You still miss them?"

"I don't think you ever stop," Karren admitted.

"I missed you," he said. "When you were gone. I was so terrified, Karren." Her name sounded natural on his lips. Karren's chest tightened.

"Well, I'm here," she said.

"Kaneki and Touka will probably get married soon," Shuu said. "They talked about Kaneki ruling, actually. He turned it down."

"Good," said Karren. "He can't rule." She leaned her head back. A few pinpricks of light-stars-peeked out behind the night's curtain. "Are you sad?"

"Hm?"

"That Kaneki's going to marry Touka," said Karren. "And not you."

A smile curved over Shuu's face. "You're less afraid to ask what you think now. I like it."

Karren cocked her eyebrow.

"No," said Shuu finally. "When you were gone—when our place burned down—and Matsumae and Father were captured and all I had was Chie—I thought you were maybe the only person who would know what it felt like. And I still feel horribly that it turned out okay for me, and not for you—the world isn't fair."

Karren closed her eyes. "I'm alive."  _I have a chance._

"Kaneki was never interested in me," said Shuu.

Karren scowled. "I know."

"Why?" Shuu burst out. "What do I not have? Okay, I'm a man, but I'm beautiful."

"You're well-read, and funny, and enthusiastic about everything," Karren confirmed. "But maybe that's just not what Kaneki need—" She stopped. Shuu was smirking at her.

"I kind of love it when you praise me," he said. "But to be honest. I don't think I've ever done a sufficient job praising you."

Karren's heart pounded.

"I've never met someone more loyal, braver, smarter, and devoted," said Shuu. "And I always—just wanted to be loved. And you said you do. Love me. Though you kind of have to struggle to love a god and not a man."

"You are a man," said Karren. She felt like she couldn't hear anything else: all the chatter and the wind and the birds tweeting faded away. Just Shuu's voice resounded in her ear.

"If you learn that," said Shuu. "Then I want to learn about you.  _Karren_. Not Kanae. Unless of course you want to be Kanae—"

She shook her head. "I don't." A lump grew in her throat.

"Karren," said Shuu, leaned over. "I want to kiss you. Because I was an ignoramus for not seeing you."

Karren's jaw dropped. Shuu leaned in, taking his finger and nudging her jaw up. And then he frowned. "Do you want me to?"

Her skull felt glued to her spine, but she managed to nod. The moon glowed behind Shuu's head.

He leaned in, lips brushing against hers. And then he pressed deeper, and he clung to her like she was an anchor, like she was a goddess, and she was nothing but.

_We're both just two people._

_But we have each other._


	25. Epilogue: Ago, Ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you think they can be happy?" wondered Hairu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a fluffy happily ever after.

Ui Koori hated weddings. Supposedly. But today, he smiled, albeit a bit sourly. Touka couldn't help but wonder how he would act at his own wedding to Hairu, which she was pretty sure wasn't far off, considering how Hairu clung to his arm and beamed.

Itori made her dress, cobbled together from an old dress of Itori's own and one of Yoriko's. Akira helped her get dressed, painting the blood red lipstick on Touka's mouth and softening copper around her eyes. Hinami and Tsukiyama arranged the flowers, roses and lilies, and of course, Yoshimura, Irimi, and Koma made the food. The sweet fragrance from her bouquet wafted up to tickle Touka's nose as she passed all her friends, her uncle, her brother, her _father_ , who still wrapped his arms around himself and glanced over his shoulder every two seconds as if he feared they were coming back for him. But when he saw her, he teared up, and it wasn't from nightmares, not this time.

Kaneki took Touka's hand, his trembling, but grip firm. It was a small affair, with the kingdom still in shambles. But Kaneki didn't want to wait. Still, at night, he clung to her, as if afraid she would leave. And she-she was so scared he would go away again, worried he would turn into a dragon again even though Rize said she didn't feel like draining someone to gather her power and Kaneki wouldn't be her first choice anyways.

Neither of them were fixed.

" _It was in me all along," Kaneki whispered. "The dragon-the_ _ _-_ losing control-it was horrible, like a nightmare-and it was also-a relief." He squeezed his eyes shut, ashamed. _

_Because there was that rage bubbling inside of him all along. Touka knew it, because the same fury still flowed in her veins when she thought of how Arima killed her mother, how her father suffered, how she and Ayato suffered loneliness that would rock their fragile shelters at night, chafe at their bones._

_But they could try._

Touka smiled at Kaneki. His face was beautifully painted, and his hair slicked back. He looked a bit dazed. He slipped a ring on her finger. She slid one on his.

"Kiss," said Marude, bored.

Kaneki's lips found hers, soft but warm. _I love you,_ Touka thought.

And loving him scared her. Because she knew how agonizing it would be to lose him. _I'm so afraid everyone will leave._

They were all here, though. Watching her and Kaneki get married, clapping for them, smiling. Even Ui Koori. Kaneki glanced at her. Touka snorted. She lifted their hands.

Hide was there, face wrapped in a scarf. His injuries would heal, but his face-it would always look like that, and guilt tormented Kaneki. Touka knew it. And yet, she thought Hide looked beautiful.

Yomo cackled, more gleeful than she'd ever seen him. Uta smiled next to him. The church was still functional, though dust covered the floors. There would be no joust, of course.

The food was delicious, roast duck and plums, rich wine, and sweet cake that was Touka's favorite. Commoners attended too, probably for the food, but they had open gates. Kaneki held her the entire time, as if he couldn't believe she was real.

But she was.

"Yomo's getting really drunk," Touka commented.

Kaneki snorted.

Nishiki and Kimi danced in front of them. Touka scowled. She was still bitter about Kimi's role, but supported the girl's pardon.

"Care to have me break your foot?" Kaneki asked, extending a hand.

Touka took it. "Not before I break your leg." She spotted more of the commoners running around, Tatara chasing some of the children. Houji sat back, face solemn. Those two had agreed not to kill each other, and Yan's sword now hung from Tatara's waist, but it was a poor substitute for a brother. "I hope commoner-noble marriages become more common."

"Can't imagine they won't," said Kaneki. "Eventually. We're all just people, you know-I just-"

"I accused you of not knowing that," Touka remembered with a laugh.

"You were right, though," he admitted as she stepped on his toe. "Ouch."

 _Oops._ Touka cringed. "Huh?"

"I didn't—I never focused on what—it was always about what I lost, with my mother—my aunt—" His aunt and cousin hadn't come, Touka noticed, and if she met them she would like to box their ears. "My privilege to live as a squire. I never thought about people. Not until I met you. It's still—I struggle to think outside of myself, you know. I still want everyone to love me. I'm scared if someone hates me, they're right."

"If someone hates you," Touka said, tucking his hair behind his ear. "I love you. Who's right then?"

* * *

"I'm happy for you, you know," Takizawa said. He kicked back, a mug of beer in his hand. Amon slid his eyes towards him. Seina laughed with Hinami. Houji sat at a table across the room, but Takizawa made no attempts to speak with the man.

Some relationships were best left in the past. Amon wondered, if Donato had lived, if he would have done the same.

Probably he would have still hunted him. Because it took Donato sacrificing his life knowing that Amon despised him because he was part of Amon, for Amon to realize the man loved him, for the black and white mural his mind had set up to dissolve into colors.

_I was so wrong._

He swallowed as he looked at Takizawa. _I can't believe you still want to be my friend._

"With Akira," said Takizawa, nodding at her. She joined Hairu and Ui, her blond hair twisted up in a beautiful knot, her golden dress shimmering in the torch light.

"You did love her too," Amon said. "Always?"

"Nah. It snuck up on me." Takizawa drank more.

Amon sipped the beer. It was good, with a strong flavor. "I relate to that."

"When you get married, I get to plan it," Takizawa said.

"When you get married, we get to plan yours," Amon tried.

"No, Seina does," Takizawa said, and Amon understood. He nodded.

"I almost thought she was a reward, you know," Takizawa said. "For enduring. If I could come back, if I could prove myself enough, she would love me."

"Akira? Or Seina?"

Takizawa lifted his shoulders. "Both, but different loves. For Akira it was as if—if I could win her love, I could have a second chance."

Amon said nothing. He couldn't think of anything to say.

"But Seina loves me anyways. She doesn't blame me for what happened to our parents—well, she says she doesn't," Takizawa said, setting the beer down.

"You don't need a second chance," Amon said. "You're still—and you already have someone's love."

Takizawa slid his eyes towards Amon.

"Oh come on," Amon said. "It couldn't be more obvious."

Takizawa arched his eyebrow.

"Am I wrong?" Amon asked, holding up his hands.

Takizawa rested his fist on his chin. He didn't say anything.

 _You had what you were seeking all along_ , Amon thought. _Seina forgave you._ A part of him wished it could be him and Akira to give Seidou his belonging. But it wasn't. They were part of it, but they weren't what he truly needed.

Takizawa got to his feet and sauntered across the dance floor, sidestepping a drunk Yomo on a broken leg and Uta. He stopped by Kurona's table. She scowled up at him, and then pretended to ignore him.

But she wasn't ignoring him. And Amon knew that. And Takizawa did too. And judging from the smile on Akira's face, she did as well.

Takizawa stuck his hand out. Kurona placed hers in his, rising. Her gray silk dress set off her dark hair. She wrapped her arm around his shoulders, teasing him, by the smirk on her face.

Suzuya watched, too. Amon nodded to him. Shinohara was awake now, and regret-the regret storming Suzuya's face was intense. Nashiro, Amon knew.

Hanbee sidled up next to Suzuya, and Suzuya leaned against him. Shinohara raised his eyebrows.

 _We can move on._ Not necessarily how they'd have liked to. But they could.

Akira arrived, holding out her hand expectantly. Amon took it.

* * *

Urie held Mutsuki like he never wanted to let him go. Mutsuki was surprised himself. He felt nothing when Kaneki married Touka. If what Kaneki had with Touka was anything like what he had with Urie, well, then, Mutsuki was happy for them.

"Saiko, is that your third piece of cake?" asked Shirazu, lips curved in disgust. His little sister, Haru, sat next to him.

"It's good cake," Hsiao cut in.

"Saiko love cake," Saiko said, dipping her fork in. "Especially lemon cake."

Aura snorted. He had been relieved to see that his aunt was okay, but he'd been trying to bond more with them. Mutsuki wasn't even certain squires existed anymore, but they were together. A family. What he'd always wanted.

"Your dress looks pretty," Higemaru called as Hakatori walked over, a satin lavender gown draped across her small frame. "Almost as pretty as the time you dressed like a prostitute—"

"Hige, that was a _joke_ ; you weren't supposed to actually say it!" shrieked Hsiao, covering her face.

Hakatori's eyes narrowed. She grabbed Hsiao's wine and dumped it over Higemaru's face. Higemaru yelped, spluttering. Urie snorted. Mutsuki smirked.

"Let's see if you can dance or if you can just shit talk," Hakatori said, thrusting out her hand. "Come on."

Higemaru blinked. He wiped the wine from his face with a napkin given to him by Aura.

"Can't say you didn't deserve that one, Touma," Shirazu admitted.

Urie nodded at Shirazu as Hakatori pulled Higemaru away. Gone was his former jealousy. Well, mostly. Because last night Urie confessed he still felt it flaring at times, because Shirazu was, simply, better than he was at some things.

" _Who are you letting down?" Mutsuki asked. "Not me."_

_Urie's shoulders slumped. "My_ _—father."_

But he wasn't letting it destroy him. He complimented Shirazu sometimes, and other times, nodded at him. He helped Mutsuki, but kindly. And if they weren't knights, he still wanted to be with them. He was the one who called a meeting of all seven of them, asking them to stay together no matter what. " _Because it feels like a family," Urie said that night, choking up and his face reddening in embarrassment. "And I don't know about you, but a family feels pretty nice."_

" _Better than my shit family," said Hsiao._

" _Better than mine," Mutsuki added, because as Urie told him, just because he did something horrible to his family didn't erase the horror they had done to him._

Uta winked at Mutsuki as he and Yomo twirled by.

"Do I have to yank out a piercing?" hissed Urie.

Mutsuki rolled his eyes. "Can we find some place quiet?" He wasn't in the mood to dance. Saiko was recruiting Hsiao and Shirazu, even Aura. On the dance floor, Mutsuki spotted Higemaru and Hakatori stalled as couples danced around them. Higemaru's eyes closed, and his lips met Hakatori's, and she clung to him. Mutsuki nudged Urie.

Urie nodded, taking Mutsuki's elbow and guiding him out of the room, towards one of the balconies. Wind blew softly in their faces. A full moon, tonight.

"Can we elope someday?" Mutsuki asked, hoisting himself up onto the parapet. Urie scrambled to climb up next to him, looking out over the lights flickering in the kingdom below.

Urie snorted. "Sounds good to me."

Mutsuki looked up at him. _You really love me._ After a few weeks of sticking with him, Urie still helped him. He dealt with a nightmare two days ago, and Urie burst into his room and held him until he fell back asleep. Urie had burst into the room armed and ready to kill anyone hurting him.

_Losing me is a nightmare for you, isn't it?_

Mutsuki couldn't imagine why he would matter so much, why Urie would love him. But he trusted Urie. Mutsuki lifted his face, lips gentle as they worked on Urie's. And then he pressed in deeper, hands sliding down Urie's shirt. Urie sucked in his breath.

"Spend tonight in my room," Mutsuki said, pulling back, eyes searching Urie's.

Urie gulped. "You really—you'd be okay with that?"

Mutsuki nodded.

Urie cupped the back of his head with his gloved hands. He cursed and tore off his gloves, sending his fingers deep into Mutsuki's hair. Laughter echoes behind them, but Mutsuki focuses on Urie's musky scent, his soft lips, his breathing.

* * *

"Hairu, you should eat more than just cake."

She giggled, poking her fork at Ui. "But it's a celebration."

He rolled his eyes. She took a forkful and aimed it at Ui's mouth. He swallowed it. Okay, it was good cake.

"Hey Ui," said a voice. He craned his neck back, face flushing. Matsuri stood there, still disdainful. "Marude was hoping to host a meeting for potential planning for the kingdom next week if you'd like to be involved."

The current plan was for each district of the city to arrange for elections and to appoint officials to make decisions. Matsuri preferred it to still be reported that he was dead, though of course, he wasn't. He planned to move out to the country.

"I'll go," Ui allowed. He glance at Hairu, who nodded in approval. Matsuri nodded and scuttled away.

"Marude's already got you, huh?" came Arima's voice. He pulled up a chair next to Ui and Hairu. "Hirako looks like he's having fun."

The three kids from the orphanage—Shio, Rikai, and Yusa—and that pageboy, Hajime, with a torn face, climbed over Hirako, laughing.

"You should talk to Yusa," Hairu burst out. "He's waiting for you to talk to him."

Arima clutched his hands together. His knuckles blanched. "I'm not sure that's a good idea. The idea of the strongest knight in the kingdom—maybe it should fade away."

"But he's your _brother_ ," Hairu said, scandalized. "He's—that's like if I avoided talking to Shio—it's wrong. It's cowardice. You're afraid to do the right thing."

Ui's jaw hung open. He wasn't used to Hairu speaking her mind like this. He liked it.

"Koori, reprimand him," Hairu said, stuffing more cake into her mouth. "Because you need to do it."

"Rize won't talk to me," whispered Arima.

Ui closed his eyes.

"Well, yeah," said Hairu. "Because you treated her like an extra— _thing_. Like an object. You smiled at me. But you're not smiling anymore even though you woke up and you have someone who loves you. What is _wrong_ with you?"

Arima sputtered.

And Ui knew what was wrong with Arima. The same thing that was wrong with Hairu before this. The same fear that kept Ui up at night, nipping at his imagination when he tried to sleep, sparking terrifying _what ifs._ The notion that he wasn't lovable.

"She does love you," Ui said. "She's a bitch, but she loves you. Hairu— _she_ loved you. Now she loves me and I couldn't be more—" His throat closed as Hairu gaped at him. _You don't know just how loved you are, Arima Kishou. Whether or not you deserve it. And you definitely don't deserve Hairu's._ Of course, he didn't either. But she wanted to give it to him.

"I'm proud of both of you," Arima said quietly. He pushed his chair back and rose, meandering over to Eto, who teased Naki and Miza. She pushed them aside and took Arima's arm.

"Do you think they can be happy?" wondered Hairu.

"Eventually," Ui said. He turned to her. "We—I want you to be."

Hairu leaned her face against his. Her breath smelled of lemons and her hair of cherries.

A shriek echoed. Ui turned. Wine dripped down Houji's tunic, and Eto grinned at Tatara, her arm clutching Airma's.

* * *

"So let's play a game," said Tsukiyama, lolling back in his chair. Karren sat on his lap, shadow and paint on her face and looking absolutely beautiful. Hide sat across from Yoriko and Takeomi. "Who will be next to be married?"

Kaneki's eyebrows raised.

"Ayato seems to think it'll be him," said Touka. She scowled. "I'm not sure how I feel about my baby brother being married."

"Couldn't have chosen a better fiancee, though," Kaneki admitted, watching Ayato twirl Hinami around on the dance floor.

Touka smiled.

"Ui and Hairu," Kaneki said. So much for Ui hating weddings. "They're pretty much engaged already."

"We want a big one so probably not us just yet," said Tsukiyama. "Let's see. We've got: Suzuya and Hanbee, probably not just yet, Irimi and Hirako, again probably not just yet, Akira and Amon, Mutsuki and Urie, Higemaru and Hakatori, Kurona and Seidou... "

"What a'out 'uruta and Rize?" asked Hide, nodding. Kaneki turned to see Furuta bringing Rize a huge plate piled high with food. She nodded. And then smiled at him, and offered him a second fork.

"Not next," Kaneki said. He was glad Rize found some sort of peace. She didn't deserve what had happened to her, just for being born with magic.

"I just overheard something you won't believe," chirped Chie, rushing over to them.

"What, little mouse?" asked Tsukiyama.

"Arima's insisting that Rize be allowed to join to council to make a new government," Chie reported, snitching a grape from Hide's plate and popping it into her mouth. "Since they need representation of magical people and she's the only one."

"That we know of," said Touka.

Kaneki sighed. How many people had been hiding it for fear of execution? And the city's population still had mixed opinions on it.

"Eto should as well," said Karren. "As much as I hate her."

Kaneki brushed his hair out of his eyes. He watched as Yoshimura stared after Eto, who was now pouring wine into a cup and flirting with Arima, who looked almost hopeful. She didn't want to acknowledge her father. Yet.

Kaneki rose and exited the room. When he went to return, he almost bumped into Arata. "Oh! Sorry."

Arata nodded at him. He moved past.

"Wait," Kaneki called. Arata paused. "Your daughter is—the most—she means the world to me."

Arata smiled. "I'm glad to hear it. She and Ayato are the world for me, too."

Touka still wasn't certain how to move forward with her father. It was strange, after being so convinced he was gone, to suddenly have him back. She wanted to take it slow, though they'd been sharing meals a few times a week.

"I'm glad she married someone like you," Arata said, clasping his shoulder.

 _Someone like me?_ Kaneki thought for a moment. He didn't deserve her, that was for sure. He was the lucky one. Except, there had to be a reason she fell for him. For her, maybe he was a gift. He stared at his hands, struggling to comprehend that.

"Thank you," Kaneki managed.

Arata nodded, and then turned away.

Kaneki hurried back to the banquet hall, to Touka.


End file.
